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Click hereReporter: Let me guess. I think this is where the other two senses, touch and taste, become part of the show?
Actress: Aha! You guessed it! When I chase the mints guy through the audience, some of them can't resist copping feels of my bare ass. And on some nights, like tonight, there might be someone bold enough to quickly slip a finger inside me. As long as it's done tastefully, I don't mind! By the way, please don't include any of this in your published article, because it's supposed to be a complete surprise, like we didn't plan it.
Reporter: OK, I promise it won't be in print. I'm also not going to publish how much I envied you being there on that stage, receiving oral, getting to run through the audience practically naked, wow! By the way, that was my finger, very tasty! What a role! I want to be you!
Actress: Well, you can't be me, but you can act like me. Starting next week we'll be auditioning for my understudy. Which means you'd learn to do everything I do, to be ready in case I get ill or something. Do you think you could fuck your boss with so many people watching? And if it were you instead of me, maybe my husband would do those scenes he won't do with me! And here's another idea: Maybe we could add a new scene where one of my Johns is a Jill!
- COMMENTS
Norway_1705almost 2 years agoVery helpful comments. The only detail I do not appreciate (imho) is the question "What does she look like?"
She looks like the Reader needs to imagine, unless a particular haircut is needed in the plot (very long hair to be grabbed, very short hair to show the back).
Really, though, we would need more details. The hesitations of the extras (the gangbang guys), the sudden lack of an actor's erection in front of the audience (Viaga, or what? The Show Must Go On!), the husband among the other actors lined up like an ordinary john (what do the johns say to each other? Do they talk, joke, admire her, praise her performance, mock her husband without knowing that he is also in line?).
Uh, I almost forgot. To me, the dressing room in the movie "Striptease" with Demi Moore always seemed outstanding. With fellow actresses playing Scrabble with her daughter as she performs on stage. Then at one point the daughter looks at her mother from the curtain, but not with disdain or disgust: I would almost say with admiration. Am I wrong? Sorry if this message is so long and repetitive, English is not my language.
MFFMalmost 2 years agoAuthorAs the author of this story, I receved an email with the following constructive comment:
"I was going to post this as a comment on your Everybody's Callgirl story and then I decided that a direct message would be better since I am trying to offer constructive criticism.
Let me start by saying that I LOVE all your stories. Nudity and especially sex on stage by an actress is the hottest sub-genre in my opinion. You have a real skill at coming up with really sexy scenarios to put your actresses through! Your stories always involve some very inventive ideas to push your actresses to the extreme.
I want to offer this constructive criticism because I hope you keep writing and I want to enjoy more of your stories. For me, the thrill of these kinds of stories is to see the sexual tension and emotions of the players at each new boundary that is broken. So it's not quite as exciting for me when it's revealed in the opening paragraphs that the sex is real.
Tell me about the first time the actress had to be fully naked, about the first time she saw one of her costars naked, about the first time he was aroused, how the simulated sex went, how she felt being exposed in front of the crew.
Tell me about the process of deciding to change from simulated to real sex. Was is to make the play more believable or because they were horny? Was she enthusiastic or reluctant? Did the director pressure her to do it or was it her idea? How did her husband feel about it.
You have so many sexy scenarios that you mention in passing, but I would love to hear more about them - a paragraph on each instead of a sentence. Tell me about the first time the actress has act in the "sandwich" - had she done anal before? What was that like for her? Tell me about the "beach scene," how did she feel about being used by so many men? Going from marital monogamy to having sex with a hundred men, what did she think about the different lovers? Were some old or young? Big vs small cocks? Gentle vs rough? Tell me about the first time she climaxed on stage.
Make me care about the characters a little bit by adding some character development. What is the actresses marriage like? Is she a schoolteacher or attorney or stay at home mom? What does she look like? What do any of her costars look like? What is the director like? Was he a lecherous pervert trying to exploit her or a fatherly figure trying to be protective of her? Sometimes it's the emotional dynamics underlying the sex that makes things extra hot - not just the mechanics of her being penetrated.
I would absolutely love if you would continue to develop this story idea. Maybe a prequel called "Everybody's Callgirl Auditions" where she agrees to take the role with her husbands reluctant support and finds herself in over her head with the dominating director. Or a "Flashbacks" chapter where you take us in her head for the top 10 scenes as they played out - either in rehearsal or on stage. Talk about the scene with the two young guys, what does she think about their young bodies compared to her older husband? What were the rehearsals like for these inexperienced boys? Does she let them jerk off on her? How does everyone react when they touch each other for the first time? It's a great dynamic that you could draw out.
I hope this feedback is taken the way I intend for it to come across. I really really love your writing and most especially your imagination! I am just making suggestions for things that I think would make your writing even more compelling. Regardless, thank you for writing! I know how much effort goes into it."
Here's my response to the quoted comment:
Your comment, along with the posted ones, is appreciated. My intent in writing the story was to just tease the reader with what the actual play must have been like to watch. That said, I'm considering expanding some of the mentioned scenes into separate stand-alone stories. But I still want to leave some of the backstory and fine details to the reader's imagination. That way you can imagine your own gf/wife/other as the protagonist. Cheers!
Norway_1705almost 2 years agoThis tale is very intriguing. If a sequel were more focused on misunderstandings and comedy, it might be suitable for the "Humor & Satire" category.
