Everyday I'm Shuffling: Book 2

Prologue: ***Jake's birthday from his point of view***

🎼Smartphones🎼

"No rush; we're not going to leave until you get here. See you soon Cariño." I said before locking my phone and putting it back in my pocket. I returned to the living room where my family was waiting. I invited a few of my cousins, a couple of uncles, and Omar and Kelly out on the boat to celebrate my birthday with me. The only person missing was Lily.

"Lily should be here in another hour then we can head out." I informed them, before flopping down on the couch.

Omar made a face, which I ignored. It was no secret he didn't care for Lily. When Omar noticed our first interactions on Facebook, he asked about her. I told him the truth; nothing was going on between us. I was fucking her roommate and anybody could see she still had something going on with Ethan.

Her history with Ethan was enough for Omar to be wary of her. There was no love between Omar and Ethan. McKinney had grown now, but growing up, we lived in a smaller, developing community. When we first moved in with my mom's husband, Pizza Hut didn't even deliver to our area. That's how far out it was. There wasn't much to keep boys our age entertained, besides sports and girls. Ethan and I met on the basketball team. Basketball was the only thing we had in common. We became friends when he helped me keep up my grades so I could stay on the team while he got his tutoring hours for whatever club he was in.

When Omar's dad left his mom, my mom got his mom a job at the nursery and they moved to McKinney too. Our moms were close so we grew up more like family than best friends. Omar fell into our group with no problems. Everything was cool before Tina Landry. She was a hot, spoiled, devious little junior. It was our senior year and she had her sights set on Ethan. She wasn't above playing his friends to get to him. I already saw her game and didn't fall for her scheme, but Omar wasn't as smart. He claimed he was just using her but obviously that wasn't the case. He flipped the fuck out when he found out she sucked Ethan off during spring break.

In Ethan's defense, he didn't even remember how it happened, he was so wasted. That was probably my fault. Ok, definitely my fault. I might have called him a pussy a few times to get him to take shots with us. The basketball team was hanging out at my dad's place after a tournament. My dad was dating wife number 3 at the time, so he would be gone all night. I had a small party. Omar was out of town with his family. I didn't even know Tina and Ethan disappeared into the bathroom until Tina bragged about it. By the time we went back to school, the whole school was talking about it and Omar was ready to fight Ethan.

I knew it was wrong, but my loyalty was with Omar, so I had to back him up. Omar confronted Ethan at the rec center where we played ball. His brother Brandon was there too, so I had to hold him back while Omar and Ethan exchanged blows. Brandon was younger but was ready to take on anyone that messed with his brother. I couldn't let him help Ethan, but I respected it. Respect grew to friendship and that's how Brandon and I became friends. In the end, nobody won the fight. We all got banned from the rec center and didn't talk for the rest of the school year. Brandon and I eventually laughed about the incident. If Ethan had a sense of humor, he would've laughed too. Omar never would. Why he had feelings for that girl, I would never know, but who was I to judge? I understood now how you could fight for someone who didn't give a damn about you. It's like they say: the first cut is the deepest. You might move on, but that shit always stings.

So when I told Omar that Lily messed around with Ethan, he automatically wrote her off. I should have too, but it was fun to flirt with her. She was one of the few girls who gave as good as she got. She was gorgeous, smart, and funny, but wasn't conceited about it. In fact, I could see she was self-conscious.

I understand why now. The way she grew up, her weight problem, and that predator who took advantage of her all played a part in her lack of self-confidence. It still shocked me when she told me not only had she never had a boyfriend, but that she put guys on a pedestal and didn't feel like she measured up. I knew how a person could make you feel like that too. It was the same way Cara made me feel: unworthy.

Because we shared that, I felt a connection to her. At the time, I didn't wanna explore it. I felt nothing would come from it. Not only because of Sammy and Ethan, but I knew she wouldn't want to be with a guy like me, especially if she had feelings for Ethan. We were nothing alike. Ethan and I weren't even attracted to the same type of woman, I highly doubted a woman could be interested in both of us.

Even knowing all this, I kissed her. The chemistry between us was fire. I didn't want to scare her off by coming on too strong, but I knew I had to have her at least once to get her outta my system. After that night of the mud run, on Brandon and Rocky's couch, I knew once wouldn't be enough. That's why I sent her to bed before we went too far without discussing what it meant. It sucked when she said she would never start anything with me, but I played it off and convinced myself that the connection I felt wasn't real.

I was so wrong. The first time we had sex, I finally stopped fighting my feelings for her. The note she left me, telling me that she cared for me confirmed it. When I knew what was happening between us was real, I fought to keep her close to me. Maybe it was overbearing; I just didn't want to lose her.

It took a turn for the worst after she asked me if I loved her. I did. I came to terms with that on Labor Day weekend. I wasn't planning on telling her that though. As soon as I told Cara, everything changed. It was like me loving Cara gave her permission to want more and try to change me. Nothing was ever good enough for her after that.

After I admitted I loved Lily, I distanced myself from her. I needed to regroup and figure out what that meant. I determined it would change nothing. If anything, I needed to make sure she really meant it. The first time she told me she loved me was during a fight. What if it was just bullshit? What if she didn't really feel the same? I put distance between us so I could question her actions and motives to make sure she was being real with me. I called her out on every shady thing.

Brandon was the one that made me realize that if I kept that shit up, I would push her away. He pointed out that she put up with it because she loved me, but eventually she would get fed up. Despite the fact that she loved me, if I continued to treat her that way, I would lose her. I decided that if I did lose her, it wouldn't be because I mistreated her. She did deserve better, so I was going to give her that.

Due to my actions, Omar didn't think we were a good match and I couldn't convince him otherwise. I didn't even try to change his mind. The only time we ever had a falling out was over Cara. I cut him off the first time he said anything negative about her. He spent our whole relationship keeping his opinion to himself after that. When I finally let Cara go, I swore I would never let a female come between our friendship again; and I haven't. It was increasingly difficult to hear him always putting Lily and my relationship down, but I ignored him. He'd see that it was real soon enough.

"I saw that face." My dad said to Omar. "What's your problem with Lily? She seems like a good girl."

"That's 'cause you've seen only one side to her." Omar commented.

"We're not talking about this." I said, pulling out my phone. It had been around 40 minutes from the last time I spoke to Lily. She should be here soon.

"I'll say primo, I saw a couple of sides of her this weekend. They all looked good." Frankie said, lecherously.

"Hey man, we're not talking about that either." I said, over his laugh.

"Why not? Other guys discuss it on Facebook..." Omar added.

I frowned but kept my mouth shut. He was never letting that shit go. He was the one that brought it to my attention, hoping I would end things with her. I seriously considered it, but she was too genuine and sincere when she apologized to me. I believed her when she said it was innocent, especially when she told me the truth about Trevor. At the end of the day, she picked me, that's what mattered.

I pulled up my contacts on my phone to call her.

"Making sure she didn't get lost?" Omar said, sarcastically. I pulled up her number and gave him a look. He pretended he didn't notice as everyone laughed. I shoved my phone into my pocket and stood up.

"Omar, come here for a minute." I asked him, leading him to the backyard. He followed me.

"All this shit has got to stop with Lily." I started when we stepped outside.

"I agree. When are you going to end it?" Omar challenged me.

"I'm not. If Lily and I break up, you can be the first to tell me I told you so." I said

"When you breakup. I'm just curious, how far are you going to let this go? Are y'all gonna live together? Wait for her to cheat on you? Maybe have a pregnancy scare? Then she'll really be just like Cara." Omar said.

"Don't talk about Cara." I said. I knew why he brought Cara up. He was right about her. Once Cara and I moved in together, our relationship consisted of mainly her complaining and me feeling like I couldn't do shit right for her. Omar urged me to let her go since she was never happy, but I didn't listen and tried even harder to make it work. I didn't let go until she broke up with me and moved in with the same guy from her job that I caught her texting with. Still, it was a low blow of Omar to bring all that shit up.

"Why not? Lily's like Cara all over again. I get that you want a do-over, but when are you gonna stop fucking around? Don't you wanna be with someone you can trust and who is loyal? And is not running around with another guy every time you turn your back? It's been long enough, it's time to move on."

"I have moved on Omar. Lily is nothing like Cara and this is the last conversation I'm having with you about this." I finished. He was pissed, but he nodded. I knew this wasn't over, but he was dropping it for now.

We went back inside. I saw Stephanie standing with Lily's pinata, talking to my dad in the kitchen.

"Where's Lily?" I asked. Stephanie gave me a weird look.

"Not here." My dad answered quickly. "Give her a call."

I looked at them both, confused, but maybe she was trying to surprise me. I pulled out my phone. I noticed it was unlocked and went ahead and hit redial. It went to voicemail.

I walked back to the kitchen.

"Where is she? I know that's her pinata." I asked Stephanie.

Stephanie looked at me sympathetically. "I don't know. She left."

"What? What did she say?" I asked, even more confused.

"That she had to go. I went outside, she was on the phone. Then she just left." Stephanie explained.

I was baffled. Why would she drive all this way and just leave?

"Maybe something came up. Let's wait awhile and call her back." My dad suggested.

I hardened. I had been down this road before. If she didn't wanna be here, I wasn't going to force her. "No, let's go."

"Jacob-" my dad started, I turned away from him. "Y'all ready?!?" I announced.

We went on the boat and I didn't answer any questions about Lily. I didn't even wanna think about her. What would make her leave, without speaking? I drank whiskey and pretended like everything was straight. Omar knew it wasn't, but he was smart enough not to say anything.

My sister, on the other hand, didn't get the message. When we went over to Julissa's house for dinner, she started in on me.

"Where's Lily?" Jasmine asked, looking around once everyone came inside.

"Not here." I said, shortly, trying to past her to hug my mom.

"What did you do now?" Jasmine sighed, shaking her head. "She's gonna leave you and I don't blame her."

Each word was like digging into an open wound. "It's my birthday. You know what you can do for me? Shut the fuck up." I told her, moving around her.

"Jacob Galaviz! You apologize right now." My mom chastised me when I tried to hug her.

"Sorry. Please shut the fuck up." I corrected with a grin.

"Jacob!-"

"Don't mom." Jasmine turned back to me. "Save your apologies for Lily and hope she forgives you this time."

"I would if I knew what I did. She fucking left. She didn't even talk to me." I admitted, pathetically.

Fucking karma. It was a bitch.

"Why didn't you go after her?" Jasmine asked.

"Why should he?" Omar butted in.

Jasmine turned on him. "Look Omar, I don't know if you wanna be like my brother or be with him, but you need to back the fuck off. Nobody asked you."

Despite the situation, I couldn't help laughing. That shit was funny.

Omar opened his mouth to say something, but my mom gave us all disapproving looks. That was enough to shut us all up. She made me a plate. I sat down to eat. Over the food, the tension slowly left the room. My dad ruined it when he showed up with that fucking pinata.

"Why did you bring that? Get it out." I demanded.

"You need to look in it." He said.

"No I don't. What is wrong with you? She left me." I pointed out.

"You should find out why and-" My dad started.

"Dad, stop. You're the last person I wanna take relationship advice from." I groaned, interrupting him.

With Cara, I tried to be the complete opposite of my dad. Growing up, I remembered my mom and dad always arguing. His favorite argument was he was the man of the house, so my mom moved out. I never wanted to be like that. I would walk away from Cara before fighting with her. That didn't work. With Lily, I tried to confront her and our issues. Maybe I came off like an asshole, just like my dad, because Lily left me too. Maybe I just wasn't the relationship type. I should just go back to not caring...

"You got it mijo, but if you don't want my advice, learn from my mistakes." He said, dropping the pinata in my lap. Then he turned around and left. The party was over after that. Reggie drove me and my car home while Jasmine trailed us in his car.

When I got into my apartment, I crashed on the bed.

I woke up the next morning, hungover. I walked out to the living room. I was greeted by that stupid pinata on the couch. Reggie must have brought it in. When I knocked it on the floor, something rattled inside it. I opened it up. Inside was a black box. I opened it. It was a badass Omega watch. Even better than the one that I lost. I remember Cara commenting on why I would spend that much on a watch when I wanted to buy another one. She said it was flashy and dumb, so I never bought another.

I was thinking about my dad and how I owed him an apology when I saw the engraving on the watch.

Soy tuya y tú eres mío

I immediately recognized what Lily and I promised to each other when we agreed to make it official between us. I don't know why she left, but I knew I couldn't let it end like this. I had to talk to her.

After a long ass day at work, I headed straight to Lily's townhome. I didn't see her car, so I waited. And waited. And waited. I ignored my phone the whole day, but now that I had time, I looked through it. I was looking through all the birthday wishes on my Facebook when I noticed Lily's and my page weren't linked together anymore. I felt like I got punched in the gut when I saw she changed her relationship status to single. Dumped on Facebook. That had to be a new low.

I didn't have time to worry about it for much longer as Lily's car finally pulled up. I watched her as she got out of the car, looking completely unfazed. I was questioning my decision to be here, especially after she broke up with me online before talking to me, but then I looked down at the watch around my wrist. At the very least, I wanted answers. I got out of my car to meet her. She hesitated when she saw me, but stared straight at me.

"So we're broken up?" I asked her, looking her over.

"Yes." She said, confidently, looking into my eyes.

"Were you planning on talking to me? Or was a Facebook notification all I was getting?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Was that not clear enough?" She asked, sarcastically.

"No. It wasn't." I said, grimacing at her. She was acting like breaking up with me was nothing. "You owe me an explanation-"

She scoffed. "That's fucking comical coming from you."

"What does that mean?" I asked, trying to stay cool, but her blasé attitude was pissing me off. How could I have been so wrong about her?

"It means I don't owe you shit Jake. I gave you enough." She exhaled, dismissively, like my question aggravated her.

That was my breaking point. "This is bullshit Lily. I gave you so many outs. If you didn't want to be with me, you didn't have to. I wasn't forcing you to be with me-"

"Oh, believe me, I know!" She cut me off, loudly. "And I should have left. The first time you threatened it. But I stuck around because I was pathetic and thought you were telling me the truth-"

"I've never lied to you!" I argued. I told myself I wasn't going to fight with her; only hear what she had to say. If she didn't want to be with me, all she had to do was say so- not blow me off on my birthday and break up with me on Facebook, after getting me a watch that cost thousands. Her words and her actions weren't making sense. I wasn't going to let her put this on me like I did something wrong.

"Lie by omission remember? And you know what fucking kills me? You had the nerve to make me tell you everything. Things I haven't even told my brother or my best friends. And I told you because I wanted to be with you. And you couldn't do the one thing you required, no demanded, from me!" She blew up at me. Her eyes were filling up with tears, and I automatically reached out to pull her close. She jerked away from me.

"No! Don't fucking touch me. I let you in! I trusted you. I gave you anything you wanted. And you broke your own rule. Honesty remember?" A few tears escaped, but she wiped them away. As unaffected as she tried to be, I could now see and hear the pain and hurt she was feeling.

"Lily, what are you talking about? What didn't I tell you?" I pleaded with her for an answer. All my anger was gone at this point. I just wanted to understand what happened so I could make it right.

"Did you live with Cara? Did you think her kid was yours? Are you fucking around with me because I remind you of her?" She fired at me.

I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know where to start. I looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

"Figures. You have nothing to say now, but it doesn't matter. This. Us. We're done. In the future, if you or your friend are going to talk shit about someone, make sure you don't pocket dial them." She turned away from me.

"Lily..." I called her, grabbing her arm again. She slapped my hand away.

"Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't speak to me. I want nothing to do with you!" She cried, before rushing into her apartment.

I took a step to follow her, but I stopped. I didn't know what I could say or do to make this right. I returned to my car. I fiddled with my watch, thinking about all the ways I fucked up with her. I didn't know how to fix it, but I knew I had to. I loved her too much to just let her go.