Everything Changes

"No, no, no. I am sad you came home just for us."

"Claudia, it was time. I've been hanging out to get home."

Your room is just as you felt it." Claudia said softly.

"Hey, hang on a minute. That's my room." Abby said playfully.

"You can have the spare room," Claudia said firmly.

Mum gave me a funny look, and I realised she was probably in the spare room.

Mum said comfortingly. "Don't panic, we can sort it out." Claudia and Klaus were clearly tired. Klaus had another injection of pain meds, so we left. As we pulled onto the motorway, Mum said. "Sorry, I've been sleeping in the spare room."

"No worries," Abby replied. "I can sleep on the couch, or I can take Mum and Dad's bed."

"No, my vans still at their place. It's a camper. I'll sleep in there."

"There's no need for that. I'm sure we could sort something out," Abby replied quickly.

"No, I need to check that it's okay. That room is yours. It wouldn't be right for me to steal it."

At home, Mum made us a cup of tea, and Abby started rifling through the fridge. "Are you hungry, child?" Mum said, dismayed. "Don't they feed you on those damned planes?"

"The food's awful, Mum. Worse than cardboard."

"Right then. The pair of you sit there, and I'll get some Kai on the go."

It didn't take her long and we were scoffing toasted sandwiches, filled with gorgeous melted cheese, bacon, onion, tomato and capsicum. "Bloody hell, Dad looked awful," Abby rasped.

"He looks a lot better than when I first saw him." Mum said. "The doctors say he will make a good recovery. It will just take time."

"What's happening at the restaurant, Mrs. Gibson?" Abby asked.

"It's going okay. There's no chef. Klaus had been acting as chef, because his old one left on a world cruise."

"I never got my degree, but I can cover the chefs role." Abby stated.

"That would be good," Mum agreed, sounding a little peeved. "I can help as well."

"Yeah, I can cover the food prep and manage the tables."

"Good, then it sounds like we have it covered between us." Mum said. "I think we should get to bed. You girls must be exhausted."

I took the opportunity to slip into her arms. "Oh, I have missed this," she said.

As we parted, she asked, "What about your friend that you were living with. Is she coming back?"

I shook my head; even now she still struggled with the fact I was gay. She had wanted to say girlfriend, but couldn't. "We've broken up, Mum. She wanted to stay in the UK."

She frowned. "I'm sorry to gear that, Tui. Your father liked her."

I laughed softly. "Yeah, that was weird. They were like best mates, aye? Always giving each other shit, talking football."

"Yes, he will be sad to lose his friend."

"Mum, don't be daft. They can still be friends. Charlotte and I are still on good terms. It wouldn't be fair if she lost her mate as well as me."

Abby had been just sitting listening, her mind spinning. I jumped up, grabbed the van key off the hook by the door, and said, "Goodnight. I'm feeling stuffed. You might have to wake me in the morning."

I crashed, and it was the sound of a car starting up next to me that woke me. When I woke fully, I realised it was after ten. Looking out the window, I could see Mum reversing out the driveway. I jumped out of bed and rushed inside. I wasn't sure if Abby went with Mum or not. I dove into the shower and rushed back out to the van to get dressed. Most of my clothes were in Abby's room, but there were some clothes from my road trip: a black skirt and a bright white blouse.

When I arrived at the restaurant, Mum was already organising things. "Why the hell didn't you wake me?" I growled.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady. I was letting you sleep."

The staff hadn't arrived yet, so I looked after the clean up and table preparation. I prepared the coffee machine, ran it through the clean cycle and got the cups out of the dishwasher.

Then it was into the kitchen to help Mum with the food prep. She was a machine. She may never have had any formal training, but she knew more about food and kitchens than a lot of chefs.

When it came to the kitchen, I just did as I was told.

A waitress turned up as I put out the open sign. I manned the coffee machine and the take away counter. The restaurant was popular with local office workers who wanted their food on the go. That day, there was a broad mix: couples enjoying a day out and the office workers, who wanted their coffee and sandwiches.

Klaus started this business as a German style bakery, all take away, no restaurant. Over the years it had changed and become one of the most popular eateries around Auckland. People understood the quality.

We got through the lunch time rush, and I said, "I need to check on Abby."

When I got back to the house, she was up, wandering around in PJ's. "God, what time is it?"

"About two PM." I replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Whacked, You?"

"The same. I only woke up when I heard Mum start the car."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Tui. I was out of it."

"It's okay, Abby. No biggie. Mum and I handled it."

In a conspiratorial whisper, she asked, "What's your mum like in the kitchen? People are going to be pretty picky."

"Relax, Mum's pretty handy. She worked with Klaus for a couple of weeks last year. They're good friends."

Abby giggled. "Shit, hard to imagine that, Dad can be hard to work with." She gave me a careful glance asking. Your Mum, will she let me take over?"

"Yeah, once you've proved yourself she might let you take charge. But believe me, you are gonna have to win her over."

"Yep, I'm hearing you. She seemed pissed when I said I could handle the kitchen."

"That's just Mum. She can be a bit judgy, but she's onto it."

"I'll just shower and you can drive me down."

She went off to shower and get changed. I took the chance to grab some of my clothes out of the closet and carry them out to the van.

I had them stowed when Abby turned up, freshly showered and looking refreshed, ready to take on the world.

"Wow, this things fucking rad!" she gushed, climbing into the passenger seat.

"Yeah, Dad and Klaus built it for me. I mean, like, I helped them, and it was choice working with them. Klaus was amazing. He is very skilful."

"Yeah, woodwork was his thing when he was stressed. With me for a daughter, that was a lot."

"Yeah, I reckon you'd be a real bitch when you were younger."

"Settle, Tui. I happen to know you were no angel."

"True dat, girl. I was trouble."

At the restaurant, Mum was getting ready for the evening meal rush. Another waitress turned up and I worked with them. I heard lots of laughter from the kitchen. When I popped my head in, I heard Mum telling tales about my childhood. "Mum, cut it out, will you?"

"Oh hush, child. We just chatting while we work."

There were plenty of staff, and everything was going well. Mum said, "Somebody should take some fruit and food up to the hospital. Abby, would you like to go?"

She gave Mum and I a pained glare. "I don't have money for that."

I grabbed my purse from the counter and pulled out some cash. She smiled warmly. "Thanks, Tui. I'll pay ya back."

After that, she was gone in a flash, leaving me and Mum to run the place.

"She's lovely," Mum whispered.

"Yes she is."

"Have you worked out your differences?"

"No, not really. She met Joe, who is a nice girl. They ended up in the UK together, as well. I'm not sure how that's gonna go."

"Sounds to me like it's run its course. Well, that's going by what Abby said earlier."

"We'll see."

Abby turned up just in time to help with the clean-up. We worked together, rushing around, cleaning frantically, Abby scoffing bread rolls as she went. I had managed to get food during breaks. Mum went to the fridge and grabbed a salmon salad she had prepared for the next day. "You eat this while we finish up."

The next morning, we all went in for a visit. Claudia looked much better. She was able to get out of bed, go to the toilet by herself. The next day she was going to be able to take a shower. Klaus was on the mend, as well. He cracked a few funnies. That meant he was feeling better. He was still wrapped up with so many splints he couldn't move, but he was chirpier.

The next few days were much the same, up early visit the hospital, then spend the day at the Restaurant.

I did manage to call the guys from the band and the Uni. They were helpful, and agreed if I could make a meeting early the next week, they were prepared to discuss me recommencing my degree.

It was weird being back living close to Abby. We laughed and joked around like old times, but in between the jokes we talked, really connected. Slowly, we started to mend the bridge of broken trust. Staying in touch with Charlotte helped. Rather than playing the jealous ex, she acted more like my therapist. I cried a little with her as I said my animosity towards Abby was breaking down. The bitterness was ebbing. Living and eating at the same table, working together made it impossible to stay angry at her.

The evening I walked in and heard her arguing and crying on the phone. Obviously talking with Joe. I felt for her. The emotions were so raw and the gap between them was so vast. I stayed out of sight and listened. I know I shouldn't have, it was wrong. What I heard made me so sad. Hearing Abby say it was over and hearing Joe sobbing loudly, "No! Please don't say that. I love you," was heartbreaking.

Abby sobbed in response, "And I love you as well, but it wasn't working. We want different things. You love the orchestra. I didn't. We have to accept that love wasn't enough."

"It's okay for you, isn't it?" Joe hissed angrily. "Bet you're already sharing that slut's bed. Is it as good as you remember."

"Joe, Tui isn't what this is about. Yes I love her. I always have. I never lied about that. I will always love Tui, but she doesn't share the same feelings. We hardly talk."

It was too hard to listen to. My eyes were already filling with tears I couldn't stop. I rushed back outside to the van and pulled the door shut. I wanted to be inside, my arms around Abby, comforting her. There was no hiding from my feelings. I still loved her, I never denied it, but now the emotions were so powerful.

I went inside later to shower for bed. Walking in through the kitchen, I found Abby bawling her eyes out in Mum's arms. Mum looked up and spotted me. She quickly waved me away, and I stepped back and circled around on my way to shower and getting ready for bed.

The steaming jets relaxed away the tension. Poor Abby. I was feeling for her, I really was. I took my time, drying off and getting changed.

Mum was still in the kitchen, but Abby was in her room, I heard her playing a haunting melody on her cello. I stopped and listened. It was a beautiful piece. I imagined a drum beat, just a cymbal roll, and then interspersed with a rolling continuous rhythm on the side drum, no snare. As I listened, a lead guitar line appeared. God knows where from, just a slightly distorted guitar, very thin, cutting.

The bass line, Hmmmm, that was harder, but the arrangement came together. Mum spotted me and growled. "Tui, stop it. That is private."

I went into the kitchen and sat with her. "Why was Abby crying?"

"Don't be silly. You know damned well why. She just broke up with her friend. She's sad, and feels lonely."

As Mum glanced at me, she added, "She's fragile, Tui. Unlike you, she's soft and weak. You are so strong... Oh, and by the way, that was a lovely thing you did, paying for her ticket."

"I could hardly leave her there."

"You did a good thing. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Mum."

"Claudia comes home this afternoon. I was going to get her. Do you think you girls can manage the restaurant?"

"Yeah, no worries, Mum. It'll be sweet as."

The next morning, there was a bang on the van door. "Hey, Tui. I'm heading to the restaurant. Do you wanna ride with me?"

As we drove off, I said, "I heard you playing the cello last night. That was pretty cool."

She grinned widely, and said happily, "Thanks, it's just something I've been working on."

"What are you doing with it? Classical..."

Her grin turned into a giggle. "No, it was going to be more rock than classical."

"I sort of have an arrangement going around my head."

"You do?"

"Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of words, but I have a guitar line, a bass line, and drums."

"Jesus, Tui. You only heard it the once."

"Yeah, true dat, but the moment I heard it, something clicked. It all made sense to me. In less than a minute I had this arrangement."

"Wow, I'll look forward to hearing it."

Work was more fun than usual. Without Mum's iron fist keeping us under control, we shared some jokes with the other girls, put some sounds on as we worked. I helped Abby with the food prep, which was nice for a change. She nudged me as I pinched some asparagus sticks from her plate.

She teased me about being a greedy pig, I called her slow. It was just good fun.

When we got home, Claudia was in bed. Mum was getting ready for bed. "How did it go today?"

"It was all good, Mum. No issues, oh apart from the chef being a bitch."

Mum looked aghast, but relaxed when Abby laughed. "I had to try and get your lazy arse moving. Talk about slow..."

Mum chased me out to the van, complaining we were going to wake up Claudia. In the van, I quickly picked up my guitar and started to work on the melody from Abby's song. Such a beautiful melody, and the cadence she created with the cello... I let my memory bring it back... my guitar line mimicking, then embellishing.

As I played along. I heard some words reverberating inside my head. With every passing verse, another line popped into my head, then another. I had to write them down, capture in some way the emotion. It was just a song without Abby's haunting cello.

The words flowed, and soon I had several verses, and most of a chorus.

Scrambling around, I set up my little four track recorder, and using a click track, I laid down the guitar track. Using my miniature Novation keyboard synth I laid down a pretty simple bass line, and a basic drum pattern... I loved the Novation; it allowed for quite real drum sounds and each key was multi programmable.

With my eyes getting heavy, I checked the time on my computer. It was late, too late to take it in and show Abby...

I was awakened by some loud banging on the van. "Hey sleepyhead. We're going in to visit Dad if you're interested," Abby called.

I popped the door and she climbed in. "Holy fuck, what's with all the recording stuff?" she spluttered.

"Just playing with a song. Have I got time to get changed before we go?"

"Yeah, if you hurry rather than use all the hot water like you usually do. You'll have to move your arse, though."

I grabbed a towel and some clothes as I walked out. Turning back, I watched her turning on my computer. I laughed, loudly snapping, "It's password protected, dummy."

"Huh, as if it'll be that hard to crack," she threw back at me.

I rushed for the shower, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to crack it.

Claudia met me as I walked out of the shower and threw her arms around me. "Thank you, little one. For everything you have done. We will pay you for all your work, and for Abby's air fare."

"Like hell you will. I love you and Klaus; you welcomed me into your home, gave me work even though you didn't have to. This is me paying you back. Plus all the work Klaus did on my van."

She kissed me. "We will find a way to pay you for all your hard work."

"All you have to do is get better." She kissed me again, just as Abby walked in. "Hey bitch, stop trying to seduce my mother."

Claudia laughed snidely. "Don't you poke your nose in. She is my baby."

"Huh, what am I?" Abby huffed.

Sliding out of my arms, Claudia walked over to Abby, gave her a one armed cuddle, then pinched her cheek. "You, Liebchen, are mischief."

Mum came bursting out of the spare room, straightening down her dress. "Come on, you lot. We'll be late."

The drive to the hospital was funny, Abby making fun of Mum's driving. Claudia rebuking her and Mum saying if she wasn't careful she would be walking."

Klaus was in good spirits; the doctors had removed the splint thingy from his hip and his knee. Now he was able to stretch out. He would be able to sleep easier.

Mum drove us to the restaurant before driving off with Claudia. Abby and I were left to get started on the day. Like the previous days, it was fun. We joked and laughed a little, the other girls coming in and joining in the banter.

It was obvious to me that Sally, one of the waitresses who had this goth theme going on, had a crush on Abby, She took every chance to get close to her and work with her.

Sally was young, barely eighteen, and still studying at Uni, but she was so protective of Abby. Even when I was joking with Abby about being slow or messy, sally rebuked me, often grumbling if I wasn't going to help I should leave.

Later, after Sally had gone to her class, I jokingly said to Abby, "I think you could get lucky with Sally. She's obsessed with you."

She winced at my joke. "Shut up... I'm trying to discourage her. Don't you go stirring the pot."

"Hey, it's sweet, babe. Just thought you might be feeling horny."

"No more than you. If you think she's so hot why don't you bang her?"

"I was going to, but she's just got eyes for you. She wants your sweet little kitty."

She laughed, pushing me away playfully. "What about you, are you still talking to Charlotte?"

With a deep sigh, I mumbled, "Yeah, we chat or message a couple of times a day."

"Do you miss her, babe?" Abby said comfortingly.

"Yeah, I do actually. She was funny and sarcastic, cynical. But she was warm as well, loving. I liked her a lot."

"Liked?" Abby said quizzically.

"Yeah, that was the problem. I really, really liked her, but I didn't love her. I mean I loved her, but wasn't in love with her. She was me best mate, we shared stuff."

With her voice taking a more serious tone, Abby asked, "What about the sex?"

I laughed loudly at her nervy fluttery question. "The sex was amazing. She was so much more experienced than me. She taught me a lot. Some of that was about myself, as well. She made me open up and explain what I liked."

Abby had a rather guilty expression painted on her face. "You sound like you loved her."

"I did, but not..." I let my answer fade as I searched for words. "I wanted more than good sex and friendship. I wanted explosions, I wanted my heart to miss a beat when I saw her. I wanted to wake up in the morning and just stare at her. I wanted my tummy to go all fluttery when she walked in the room. We never had that. If I had to spend the rest of my life with her I wouldn't be sad, she was fabulous."

"Wow... You just summed up me and Joe. It was exactly the same for us. Although it got hard towards the end because we were arguing so much about the future, and music. She was so committed to the orchestra and classical music."

"That must have been hard," I whispered. Seeing her eyes watering, I dusted off my hands and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. She seemed lovely."

Abby's arms tightened around me and her face nuzzled into the side of my neck, her sniffles absorbed by my skin.

Bloody hell, my heart fluttered, my tummy twisted. It felt so good to be in her arms again. I loved the feeling. I could feel her heart beating we were crushed together so tightly.

She didn't move, and I didn't want to. I was in heaven.

The outside door burst open, and Claudia and Mum walked in. "What in god's name is going on here? Haven't you two got work to do?" Mum snapped curtly.

When I looked into her eyes, I saw a look I can't explain, sorrow, grief, anxiety? She had never seen me in another girl's arms before, and I realised it was embarrassment.