Everything Looks Better Ch. 05

"Only for you."

She tapped her lips thoughtfully with her index finger. "I bet it takes a lot to embarrass you."

"Tonight came close."

She laughed. "I'll be more discreet from now on."

"Hmm." For some reason, this didn't make him feel better.

Coyly smiling, she said, "Hey, put your hand out."

Puzzled, Auron shifted his cloak to the other arm, adjusted the strap of his scabbard on his shoulder, and held up his fingers.

She mirrored him. "Do you remember this?"

"Hmm," he said and nodded once.

Her palm hovered next to his for a beat before she sealed the heel of her hand to his, matching up their fingers. She felt smooth against his rough callouses and her fingernails had been professionally groomed and painted red.

Look, Owen, I'm catching up!

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Raine said with an insecure giggle, "but when I was little, I used to think when my hands got as big as yours, that I would be...big enough for you."

Instantly, Auron dropped his hand. His belly was being slowly wrung out like a bloody towel after cleaning a wound. A steady unease, a warning.

Hand still up in an awkward wave, Raine took the rejection with her usual timid grace and a tight smile. "Still not big enough, I guess."

Auron nodded upwardly towards her house. "Good night, Raine."

"Good night, Auron."

Marginally dazed, Auron sunk into the end of the bed, reflecting on the smooth, creamy flex of Raine's shoulder blades when she stripped off her shirt. Groping absently around the bed-spread for his boot, Auron tried working on the knot in the lace, but a minute later, he found himself still staring at the footwear like it was a spare piece of machina.

It bewildered Auron how the two of them had gone as long as they did as housemates without a single accidental walk-in, although the merit was all Auron's. He didn't shower often because the only bathroom was off the master bedroom and there was always something intimate hanging off the shower rod, which he made sure to replace when he was finished, and he only showered while she was at work because he didn't trust she would be as careful as he was, or that she even wanted to be. She owned a heavy robe, but didn't use it quite as often as Auron would have liked, and in the summers she asserted that because she lived on a houseboat, a swimsuit was always appropriate attire. But she would dress the way she would dress even if he hadn't been living there and he had to remind himself daily it was the best way to keep her protected. However, the nights when Jory stayed over Auron often spent sitting on the front deck and some nights a long walk around the boardwalk was the best course of action.

Sweet Raine. Nobody could distract him the way she could, and with such little effort.

Flinching, Auron pressed the heel of his hand into his temple, the shrill fret of Pyreflies momentarily excruciating, the worst of it so far. They hadn't bothered him so much on his last pilgrimage, but he'd been far more focused then. Now he was less so.

Grateful for the knock at the door to interrupt his reverie, Auron jumped up entirely too fast and in his haste, he failed to ask for identification before swinging open the door.

"Rin," Auron grunted, a poor greeting, and hopped out of the way as the innkeeper rolled a wooden cart over the threshold. It was filled with covered plates, sets of flatware swathed in cloth napkins, a cluster of condiments on the center rack. "We didn't order anything."

"Sir Auron, in my Travel Agencies, Summoners eat free."

Auron raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since the new lot of Summoners dispatched, of course," he said with a virtuous ring, innocently widening his light green eyes with the curled irises. Rin parked the cart, moved their coats from the table to the bed and began assembling the table with a feast of covered platters.

With a stab of guilt, Auron realized Raine hadn't eaten all day.

"Where have you been hiding yourself these last eleven years?" Rin asked conversationally.

"Fulfilling a promise," Auron said, guarded, acutely aware of Rin's eyes as they stopped on various places of interest in the room: the bed's tangled coverlet, their weapons propped in the corner by the door, the lace garter sitting twisted on the bedside table, long blonde hairs snarled in the elastic. None of it meant anything, but Auron could see the cogs rotating behind Rin's small eyes. Let the Al Behd man think what he wanted. "Speaking of which, have there been many Sin spottings lately?"

"Not lately, but then..." Rin drifted.

Auron waited with a stitch of impatience for the innkeeper to finish as Rin aligned all the condiments to the center of the table.

Pinching his chin, Rin stared thoughtfully down at the table as if admiring the place settings. "But then, Sin's habits are not as you would expect."

"His habits?"

"How wouldyoucharacterize Tidus?" Rin asked.

Auron didn't know the relevancy of his question and just shrugged.

"Boisterous? Outgoing? Candid?"

"Sure."

"Not unlike his father?"

"I suppose."

"Logical, then, to assume this Sin would behave much like the last?"

"What are you getting at?" Auron asked, reigning in aggravation.

"Sin doesn't make as many, shall I say...appearances as he used to. From what I've heard, he spends most of his time at the bottom of the ocean. There have been attacks, of course, random and senseless as ever, but the assaults are usually stealthy and unanticipated and the overall damage is much less than normal. It's like Sin is showing restraint."

"Hmph," Auron said and gazed at the floor in thought. Tidus displaying control? Rin was right; it didn't sound like Tidus at all. But it did sound a little like Raine.

Rin's square jaw and wide lips were gravely set as he swung around to face Auron. "Sir Auron, let's be real."

"Let's." Auron crossed his arms.

"Yevon is not keen on plucking citizens from...Zanarkandfor Sin rebirths. I can't say the Al Behd is, either. A father and a son and now...a sister, perhaps?"

"Have you forgotten High Summoners Braska and Yuna were father and daughter?"

"Summoners train for years knowing they will die if they succeed. How long has your new Summoner had to come to grips with her sacrifice? Or Tidus? Or Jecht for that matter?"

Auron's jaw clenched. Strong opinions for a man who used Summoners as promotional devices. "Tidus and Jecht were aware of the consequences."

"And this woman? Tell me, does your Summoner even know what the inside of a temple looks like?"

Auron answered with a raspy chuckle.

"Are any of the other Guardians from your previous pilgrimage joining you?"

He had parted ways with them after leaving Zanarkand Ruins and hadn't seen them since, but he anticipated bumping into them again on this upcoming pilgrimage with Raine. "It's best if we stayed a duo."

Finished setting the table, Rin positioned the cart by the door and initiated the brakes on the wheels. "Surely you overestimate your own skills. Bringing an amateur into the battlefield is suicide and without the benefit of a Calm to follow." Rin's eyes narrowed keenly. "Does she at least know of your...condition?"

Clamping his teeth, Auron gave Rin a hard look. The rustlings of Pyreflies grew even more restless in him just then, as if they had been eavesdropping and could recognize when they were being referred to.

Rin cast his eyes down, the practiced patronizing action of a shop owner who believed the customer was always right. "Forgive me, I've overstepped my bounds. Allow me." Rin indicated to the coats he'd cleared from the table top, Raine's brown hide and Auron's red cloak, and brought them to the closet.

While the Al Behd innkeeper busied himself with porter duties, Auron approached the table, curiously lifted a few of the covers. Pork roast, corn on the cob, sweet potatoes, strawberry cobbler and sweetened ice tea with lemon; it was enough for at least four people.

"Ahhh," Rin sang emphatically, oozing innuendo, as he held open the closet door.

Auron looked up from the banquet and cursed to himself. Raine's torn dress was hard to miss, a slash of blinding white in the closet, a faint musty smell wafting into the room. Damned dress never left him alone, and it taunted him, reminded him of everything that went wrong in Zanarkand.

With an admiring gaze, Rin caressed the fabric, evaluating the craftsmanship. "So it is a traditional pilgrimage, just like Zaon and Yunalesca."

"Leave it," Auron grated, oddly protective of the garment, despite the aggravation it caused him.

"Excuse me, Sir Auron." He had the grace to seem embarrassed. "I should have asked permission."

Auron heard the shower stop with a screech of the faucet. He stalked to the door and opened it to encourage Rin to leave. "Thank you for the meal. The Summoner will be pleased," Auron said through his teeth.

Passing Auron, Rin handed him back the coats and said, "I hear romantic loveisthe best bond for the Final Summoning."

"Out."

Rin smiled in spite of himself and disappeared into the hall.

Pyreflies flaring, Auron felt faintly nauseated as he shut the door, and tossed the coats over one of the stools. He waded through the sickness to the closet, kicking the dress back inside. He managed to latch the closet door just as Raine entered the room, a hot billowing fog trailing after her, and the Pyreflies subsided. Funny, the way the Pyreflies were so intensely aware of Raine's vicinity. Auron suspected they fancied her, like restless puppies when their owner was away. Interesting how Sin had the opposite effect on Auron's Pyreflies, provoking them like attack dogs at a fence, however it was useful for alerting Auron when Sin was close to Zanarkand.

Raine's brown flannel sleepwear was buttoned all the way to her neck, the sleeves hung passed her knuckles, her body drowned in thick, soft fabric, hiding everything. Flinging the towel over her shoulder, she wouldn't look at him as she stomped to the bedside table for her garter, aiming her back to him as she tied back her wet hair.

She didn't play this game often, but he knew it well enough to know her feelings were only superficially hurt. Ending her mood swing would not be difficult.

Casually leaning his shoulder blades on the wall by the table, he watched with subtle enjoyment as she continued to ignore him, seemingly unhappy with the cooperation her hair was giving. Her towel slipped off her shoulder and lumped to the floor and she freed a hand from the task of fixing her hair, bending forward to retrieve her towel.

Auron elevated an eyebrow. The flannel tightened pleasantly around her ass and he stared shamelessly at her backside, even after the towel was picked up. It didn't matter what she wore, Auron realized.

"Hungry?" he asked.

Elbows up, still fiddling with her hair, Raine swung around, her gaze settling to the food on the table. Gasping with alacrity, she threw down her damp towel and scrambled into a seat. "Where did this come from?"

"Rin brought it."

She fumbled with her plate, robbed one of the utensil sets of a spoon and began scooping some of everything. "Are you having any?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Come sit by me at least," she said, luring him with a rueful smile. "Don't make me eat alone."

He smirked. Grudge forgotten.

Sliding the stool out from under the table, he positioned it under himself and sat. For lack of anything better to do, he poured himself a glass of sweet tea, the melting ice tinkling, the lemon slices drifting aimlessly around the pitcher. Raine sucked a bit of strawberry compote off her thumb and reached for her glass, presenting it to him. Without pause, Auron filled it, but when he set down the pitcher, adjusting more comfortably in his seat, Raine continued to hold her drink expectantly, a cool smile playing on her lips.

How could he forget? Picking up his glass, he pinked it against hers, saluted her with a reverent raise of his drink and sipped. She echoed him up until the point of consumption, when she guzzled half the tea in one gulp, tilting the glass back until the ice shifted.

"Portal travel makes me thirsty, I think," she said, slamming down the glass and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She crossed her legs and spread a napkin on her lap. She pushed up her flannel sleeves and cut the roast with greedy enthusiasm, but as she chewed on her first bite, she dimmed.

"How is it?"

Nodding uncertainly, she said, "It's...good."

She ate slowly and swallowed with difficulty, hesitating before slicing another forkful.

Perhaps the Al Behd recipes weren't quite what she was used to. Then again, he wouldn't put it passed the Al Behd to do everything they could to stop a Summoner from doing a pilgrimage, even by making one temporarily sick.

"Wait," he said, although she wasn't in a rush for a second bite. He picked up a slab of meat with his fingers and took a cautious bite.

Raine stopped to watch him, seemingly mesmerized as he did something so ordinary. He rarely ate in front of her, if he ate at all.

Of course, it wouldn't make much business sense to poison his patrons and Rin had never given him cause for worry in his previous pilgrimages. With a shrug, Auron laid the meat on his empty plate. "It's fine."

"Your sense of taste must be as bad as your sight," Raine muttered, but flicked a careful eye up, gauging his reaction.

Auron grinned. "Here I thought I had good taste."

"Not judging by these pajamas," she said, mockingly haughty.

"I like them."

"Then maybe you should wear them."

Moving on from the pork, she picked up the corn on the cob and took a nibbling bite, chewing as she stirred the condiments around, checking labels.

"What do you need?" Auron asked.

"Butter. Salt. Pepper. It's just a little under-seasoned," she said, masking disappointment.

Auron pushed over a dish of butter and Raine used a knife to slather it on her corn, sprinkling on the flavorings, eating with her fingers.

Eventually they settled into a familiar, silent routine. Family-time at dinner. She ate. He watched. How many more of these moments did they have left? Auron refused to estimate a tally.

Raine succeeded to rickshaw through half of the corn before becoming distracted by the Summoning book on the table. "Mm!" she said, thinking of something as she licked the buttery oil from her fingers. Lifting her napkin from her lap, she ran it over her mouth. "I was looking at the book between fiends today," she said, sliding it over, opening to a page she had dog-eared.

Considering the strings he had to pull to get the book on loan, Auron tensed at her careless indifference towards the priceless religious text.

She tapped the tissue thin page, leaving a dark, greasy fingerprint next to a caption, under a hand-drawn picture. "What does this say?"

Raising his chin with alarmed sincerity, something warm bathed his insides, a memory long forgotten percolating into his mind's eye.

"Owen, what does this say?" Raine had asked him as a child, climbing into his reluctant lap with a children's book that was mostly pictures. There was mud on her overalls and her blouse had been buttoned crookedly, either from a negligent mother or Raine's first dressing attempt. She smelled like raspberry jelly that day, because there was still some on her chin, sprinkles of toast crumbs adhering to it.

Auron's thoughts were interjected by Raine's diffident foot, nudging his instep under the table.

"You okay?" Raine asked.

Focusing, Auron pulled the book over to better see the passage she was indicating. It had been a long time since he'd studied the teachings and they were written in an old language, but he didn't need to read the caption to know what the drawing was of.

"It's a fayth," he said, recognizing the hand-drawn sketch of Bahamut's Fayth, a hooded child, most of his face covered, save for a grim slice of his mouth and nose.

She glanced down at it dubiously. "Are you sure?"

"You doubt me?"

"It's just...I'veseenhim before."

Wrestling every muscle in his face, Auron suppressed anything that might give him away, clutching onto his impassivity. Tidus mentioned seeing one, too, right before Jecht's Sin arrived in Central Zanarkand all those years ago.

"When?" he asked, feigning nonchalance.

"This morning, in Zanarkand. On the train." she said, sliding her eyes away. "Before the wedding."

"Did he say anything?"

Playing with her food on her fork, she shook her head after a pause, but didn't meet his eye. "No. He just...sat there."

With a slow frown, Auron knew the faythhadsaid something to her. But it was only for them to know about. She was not going to divulge.

"Was my brother Yuna's first choice?"

Auron started. Is that what the fayth said to her? "For what?"

"Give me a break, Auron," she said, rolling her eyes. "My father and brother were both Sin, both Guardians. It doesn't take a genius to see the pattern."

"He was not her first choice," Auron said stiffly.

"Who was? You?"

He pressed his lips together firmly. "Mm."

"Why?"

"I volunteered. I was the oldest and had the least to lose."

Raine flashed him a sharp look, but it faded almost immediately. "So how does it happen? The Summoner chooses which Guardian will be Sin's rebirth?"

Auron glared. "Must you be this smart?"

"I take it that's a yes." Eyes falling to the napkin on her lap, she toyed with the corner seam. "Since you're my only Guardian, I will have to choose you."

He stared at her, severe, willing her to look up. She was too damned smart. Already cagy of Spira's beliefs, Raine was privy to its lies before she had a chance to learn them for herself. At this rate, she wouldn't need to finish the pilgrimage to see how it would end. This much insight into the pilgrimage could be disastrous and Auron worried about the trajectory of this conversation. He feared for the journey's outcome—or the odds of a journey at all. Then again, he left Tidus in the dark for most of the pilgrimage and in the end, nothing changed. The rotation continued just as it would if Auron had not been there at all.

There was also the matter of Raine's inability to pray. He had been considering asking one of the Summoners staying at the Travel Agency to call one of his Aeons for Raine to see. She was an atheist because of lack of proof, not because she was incapable of belief. He had also deliberated on a side quest to Guadosalam before heading to Besaid, to show her the Farplane, but the idea she would have to go in alone made him uneasy. Maybe he could trust one of the hypellos to accompany her inside, but she would immediately question his "choice" not to join her in the Farplane.

Auron realized why Raine's head was down. She was thoughtfully rubbing the scar on her wrist.

"Do you think there's a difference between sacrifice and suicide?" she asked in a whisper.

"Sacrifice is noble. Suicide is selfish."

She flashed him a wince and folded her arms around her stomach. "I never pictured Tidus as such a noble do-gooder." She sighed. "Look, I know I should do the right thing. Iwantto do the right thing, but I'm still trying to figure out what that is. I need to see more cards."

"I'm still deciding on my discard," Auron said carefully.

"You can't hold your cards so close forever."

"That's what happens when you've been dealt a bad hand," he muttered before he could stop himself. He shook his head and wanted to take it back. "Can we stop talking in metaphor? I'm not very good at it."

"I know you don't mean me." She smirked. "I'm your wild card."

"You're right about that," Auron laughed. Reflecting on her wit, Auron offered another short laugh and then subdued it. Raine was smiling down at her unfinished plate, but soon it went stale as more vexing thoughts came to her. He said, "You'll know the right thing to do. In time."