Face the Music

"You mean that, Gudrun? You're sure? What rent would you want?"

"I'm sure. As for rent, not really necessary. Jeremy bought me the bungalow outright so there's no mortgage to worry about." Sarah was adamant that she should pay rent. It was like negotiating with Jeremy all over again except that the finances weren't so high. In the end we agreed that Sarah would pay the council tax, the household bills, any extras and buy the food. She still felt that it wasn't enough but I stuck my heels in. It was a win-win situation for both of us.

Our friendship took its next step up. And very gently, Sarah started to rid me of some of my ingrained inhibitions.

* * * * *

Sarah and I were playing Scrabble and having a friendly argument as to whether 'ouch' was a proper word. The evening was very warm and I wore shorts with a loose sleeveless vest while Sarah was similarly dressed save that she lacked a bra which was more than evident. I was having trouble keeping my eyes from constantly straying to the outline of her prominent nipples. Anyway, we had an argument to settle. I was getting up to fetch a dictionary when the doorbell rang.

It was my father. Without waiting to be invited, he pushed his way past me and stepped into the sitting room, scowling when he saw Sarah there. He glanced around, his scowl deepening when he saw my display of erotic nude drawings and those Sarah had brought with her. "Äcklig! (Disgusting!)" he said in Swedish. Perhaps he should visit the Swedish National Museum sometime---there were probably enough painted nudes there to keep him disgusted for years.

Father turned his hostile glare on me, looking me up and down, obviously displeased by my shorts and vest. "You are wearing inappropriate and unfeminine clothing and you've cut your hair. How dare you?"

"How dare I? Father, I'm a thirty-year old woman under my own roof and I will decide how I dress and style my hair."

Father looked again at Sarah, distaste written on his face. I'm unsure which offended the most, her presence or her conspicuous nipples. "Jag skulle föredra at tala privat (I'd prefer to speak in private),".

"You can speak in front of Sarah. She's my friend, with or without your approval."

"Din vän eller din onaturliga älskare? (Your friend or your unnatural lover?)" he sneered.

I tried to keep cool. "What do you want, father?"

"Against my better judgement and following discussion with some of the church elders, I have agreed to allow you back into the family and the congregation. There are certain conditions, of course."

"Oh?"

"You will publicly renounce this abnormal way of life that has warped your outlook and you will undergo conversion therapy for as long as it takes to rid you of this foul affliction. You will stand at the altar and admit your grievous sins to the congregation. You will return to your husband and humbly seek his forgiveness. You will give up your work and once more become a submissive housewife. You will also grow your hair to a proper length again, dress modestly and becomingly. You will submit yourself to any penances that the church deems fitting for one such as yourself And above all, you will have nothing more to do with this...." he flipped a contemptuous hand in Sarah's direction "...this person who is obviously an unhealthy influence."

I gasped at the temerity of it. Sarah stepped up beside me and put a hand in mine which gave me some strength. "Jeremy is not my husband," I said, "he's my ex-husband. And I most certainly will not seek his forgiveness, he's the one who committed adultery. And I've told you before, he was no happier in our marriage than I was. As for your other conditions, forget them. Why should I submit myself to your outrageous demands? I am certainly not going to admit anything to your congregation nor accept penances devised by a bunch of narrow-minded old men and you can tell your elders that.

"If that's all you have to say, father, then I think we're finished. Please leave. You're a bigot of the very worst kind and I'm ashamed to be your daughter."

My father's lips compressed in fury and his face was white save for crimson spots on his cheeks. Stepping towards me, he raised his hand.

I didn't flinch. "Go on, hit me," I challenged, "But if you do I'll call the police and I've got a witness here. I can see the headlines in the local papers, father, can you? 'LANGTON HEIGHTS PASTOR ARRESTED. HELD IN CUSTODY FOLLOWING ASSAULT ON DAUGHTER'. And think about this---there will always be some filthy-minded people who will gladly misinterpret the word 'assault'."

Seething, he lowered his hand and turned to leave. As he exited the house he turned to make his last shot. " I have no daughter! You are a whore and will burn in hell for this, suffering eternal torment!" He took a deep breath and before slamming the door as he left repeated---practically screamed---his final words. "Eternal torment!"

Sarah put an arm around my shoulders. "My God, and that's what you were brought up with?"

"All my life," I said, "From the time I could crawl, seems like. But I faced him down. At last I faced him down. I couldn't have done that a few months ago. Robert once told me I was a classic victim of coercive control." I laid my head against Sarah's shoulder and gave an involuntary sob.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's just hit me, I haven't got a family any more. It was never much of a family to start with but it was what I had."

Sarah tightened her hold. "You have got family. I'm here for you and my family are great. They'd likely see you as their own little orphan in the storm. You're not alone, Gudrun."

That's when I started to shake and I couldn't seem to stop.

Sarah

Gudrun was trembling uncontrollably and I tightened my arm around her. "That's reaction," I said, "I think it'd be a good idea for you to lie down for a while." I took her through to her bedroom and making sure she was comfortable climbed onto the bed beside her and wrapped her in a soothing embrace. Gudrun clung to me like a hurt child in need until slowly, very slowly, the shaking stopped. I touched my lips to her forehead, whispering: "It's okay, sweetheart, it's all okay now. You're free."

I kissed her forehead again, several times, and lightly stroked her shoulders and bare arms. She snuggled closer with a little sigh. I lowered my head to rub our noses together and brushed her lips with mine. Gudrun looked at me as if surprised then reached to hold the back of my head, pulling me towards her. Our lips met again, this time a little more firmly and Gudrun gave a tiny moan. Unsure of how she would react, I allowed the tip of my tongue to trace her bottom lip. She moaned quietly again and responded so that the tip of her tongue met mine. We lay there for several minutes, doing little more than let our lips and tongues touch softly.

I started to stroke her face with the forefinger of my free hand. A strap of my vest slipped from my shoulder down my upper arm, exposing the top part of my right breast. Gudrun took her lips from mine and rested them against the breast, not exactly kissing but making slight caressing movements and little purring noises like a kitten. I eased the vest's top down to free the nipple and Gudrun laid a finger on it, hesitantly as if she expected to be rebuked.

"It's okay," I assured her. I took her finger and moistened it with my tongue before placing it on my areola and circling it round the nipple. "Like that," I added. To make things easier for her I shifted a bit so that I could completely remove my vest, revealing both my breasts.

Gudrun stared for several seconds then cupped them and kissed each one. "So beautiful," she murmured, almost to herself. She moistened each forefinger and circled my areolas before instinct took over---she took one nipple into her mouth and began to suck hard. My nipples are large and sensitive and the pressure of Gudrun's mouth and tongue triggered an immediate jolt in my pussy. I could feel myself getting damp. Gudrun released me and moved to the other nipple causing me to emit an involuntary whimper.

"Let's have this off," I said, tugging at Gudrun's vest. The garment came clear revealing a plain white strapless bra. Gudrun didn't need urging, she removed the bra without any help from me to reveal two perfect little cones with thick, puffy areolas and short, hard rosy nipples. I bent to flick my tongue over one and then the other. Gudrun gasped and then held her boobs towards me in invitation. I sucked on one nipple while toying with the other between finger and thumb. I bit down gently on the one in my mouth and Gudrun gave a little cry, wrapping her arms tightly about me. She pulled my head up, her lips seeking mine and for a long time we just lay there, tongues tangling in a lovers' dance. I was leaking massively by this time and pulled at the elasticated top of my shorts.

"Let me," said Gudrun. She tugged at the garment and freed it together with my lacy thong. She knelt between my legs, staring at my pussy with an odd, rapt look on her face, a mixture of fascination, longing and wonder.

"Gudrun?"

Gudrun blinked. "I'm sorry," she apologised, "I've never really seen a... a pussy before except my own when I've been in the bath and that's not the same. I've never even seen my own properly. I was always told that to take more than a brief glance in a mirror was vanity and the Lord disapproved of vain people. As for looking at my pussy or touching it, that was sinful and I'd be punished."

"Didn't you ever see Irene's?"

She shook her head. "Not too well. Irene was very hairy down below and anyway, most of our love-making had to take place in the dark. We didn't want to be caught and risk being chucked out of the camp. And we tended just to use our hands and fingers."

I reached down and eased my outer lips apart. "Here you are, look all you want. Touch me if you like, taste me. It's not sinful and no-one is going to punish you." I moved my hands away, waiting to see what she would do, ready to help and encourage her if necessary.

Gudrun reached out a finger and gently touched me. Gaining a little courage, she stroked around my labia before running the finger up my moist slit. A droplet of my nectar clung to her finger-tip and she tentatively lapped it with her tongue. She smiled and drew her finger up my cleft again. Leaning forward, she kissed my butterfly tattoo and then a second kiss slightly lower on my clit. She moved up until she could kiss the base of my throat then slowly kissed and licked her way downwards, between my boobs, down my midriff to dip her tongue into my belly-button and then to my mound. She repeated this several times as if plucking up courage and finally moved to my pussy, giving a flat-tongued swipe from bottom to top. Drawing my lips apart she began to taste me in earnest, flicking with the tip of her tongue to explore my vagina and inner lips, all the little folds and crevices.

Leaving my pussy for a moment, she looked up at me, a half-anxious look on her face. "Am I doing this okay?"

In answer I pulled Gudrun's head back towards pussy. "You're doing wonderfully," I told her. A happy smile lit up her pretty face and she returned to licking with enthusiasm. At last she lighted on my clit, using the forefinger of one hand to ease back the hood, exposing my pearl. With the first two fingers of her other hand she slid into me and my inner muscles gave a loving clasp. Her tongue and lips were working at my clit and whether by accident or design (probably the former), Gudrun's bent fingers brushed back and forth against my g-spot. I exploded with pleasure and think I cried out loudly.

I opened my eyes to see Gudrun gazing at me, again with that half-anxious look on her face. I started giggling and cupped her face in my hands. "Don't look so worried," I said, "You've just made me come."

"I did? I really made you come?"

"Yes, and it was wonderful. Now, why don't you get those shorts off?"

Gudrun stood and wriggled her shorts down. She had a pair of plain white cotton briefs, obviously the partner of her bra and most likely a hangover from her past. I'd be doing something about that soon. In the meantime... "Panties too," I said. The briefs came off to reveal the sweetest tuft of pubic hair I've ever seen. It was pale blond and tiny and yet didn't appear to have been purposely trimmed. [Gudrun was to tell me much later that she'd never had a great deal of body hair and that her pubic hair was untouched as it had always been. I loved it.]

I lay back down and beckoned her. "Kneel either side of my face and bring your pussy down to my mouth." Being Gudrun, she looked doubtful. I was going to have my hands full educating this girl. "Gudrun, I want to give you pleasure now and this is as good a way as any. Now come on."

Gingerly, Gudrun did as bid and I found myself looking at a small, plump pussy which was even sweeter that the patch of pubic hair surrounding it. I opened her with my fingers so I could enjoy the sight of her rose-coloured inner lips, delicate flowers in a precious garden. The whole of her pussy glistened with nectar and her clit was partly exposed. I started to lick while penetrating her with my fingers. Within moments she was moaning loudly, half-crying with joy and when she finally came it was with something almost like a scream.

Later, when we were cuddled up and caressing one another with tender touches, Gudrun said: "Will you stay with me tonight, Sarah?"

"For as long as you want."

"Sarah?"

"Yes?

"Please don't dislike me for this---I'm falling in love with you."

I could feel my eyes filling with tears. "Gudrun, I'm falling in love with you, too."

And so we were beyond friendship. We were now lovers.

Gudrun

"Why not go commando? That's what I'm doing."

Sarah's question took me by surprise and baffled me too---I'd no idea what she meant. Although early it was very warm and promising to get even warmer. We thought we'd go to Holcombe Park and have a ramble around, just enjoying our Sunday. I'd picked out a knee-length Indian-style muslin dress, suitably light, and I was rummaging through my underwear drawer when Sarah spoke.

"What's going commando?" I asked.

"Your education's got quite a way to go yet," she laughed, "It means going without underwear. It'll likely be far hotter from around midday and you'll be much more comfortable without bra or panties."

I thought that sounded a bit... well, not quite respectable and I guess my doubts must have shown in my face for Sarah added: "Come on, we're both in loose dresses, there's no wind and nobody's going to see our bits. Look!" She pulled the top of her dress tight and it was only then that I could see the outline of her nipples. To follow she lifted the front to give me a glimpse of the blue butterfly. "Give it a try, Gudrun---in this warm weather it's more hygienic down below. You're your own woman now, Gudrun---you don't have to worry about disapproval any more."

"Okay, I'll try," I muttered unwillingly, discarding the towel I'd draped around myself after my shower and slipping the dress over my head. I looked in the cheval mirror and as promised the dress was fairly loose so nothing showed.

Sarah was right. Going 'commando' did feel great on such a warm day and I had to admit as much. I thought I might even make a habit of it in warm weather. Then it wasn't too long for the next small advance in my education. We'd had a couple of large cups of tea before setting out and we hadn't been in Holcombe Park for too long when I needed to use the lavatory. I mentioned this to Sarah, saying plaintively: "The nearest toilets are on the far side of the park and I'm not sure I can make it."

"Which one do you need, a pee or...?"

"Yes, a... a... pee." I was still having trouble with words that from childhood I'd been taught were rude.

"No problem," Sarah told me. We were close by the park's small wooded area and Sarah tugged my hand to pull me in. She looked around quickly---the area appeared deserted and after a couple of fairly uncomfortable moments we spotted a tiny glade, almost entirely closed off by trees and bushes but with one narrow gap. We squeezed through. "I need a pee too," she said, "We can go here."

I looked about us. "But there's nowhere to sit."

Sarah shook her head, apparently surprised by my naivety. "Gudrun, my sweet, we're hidden here, we don't need to sit, we can just do it standing up."

"Isn't that a bit... wrong... er, unnatural?"

"Oh, for goodness sake! No, it's not wrong. Peeing standing up is just as natural as sitting---I've done it before when I've been desperate. There's no-one else here to see us and the grass is fairly long so we won't be leaving a huge pool of evidence. See!" She moved away several feet, lifted her dress right up, spread her legs and delivered a lengthy stream. I hesitated but desperation drove me. I followed suit, hiked my dress around my waist and peed long and hard.

"Wasn't so difficult, was it?" said Sarah as she passed me a tissue to wipe myself.

I gave her an embarrassed grin. "Thanks, Sarah. That was a relief."

I haven't told you the above to be salacious but as an illustration of how hard Sarah was working to rid me of my inhibitions and misgivings.

We stopped off by the ice-cream parlour for a dish of Peach Melba then made our way up to The Lookout, the small man-made hill from which you can see almost all of the park's layout. There was a woman sitting on the furthest away of the half-dozen benches, a woman with a beautiful golden cocker-spaniel. I knew her immediately.

"Let's turn back!" I blurted, "That's Jeremy's mother!"

Too late! The dog had seen me first, barked once and came galloping towards me, trailing lead flopping up-and-down on the ground as he ran. Kim and I had always been great pals, ever since he was a pup. One of my few real friends in the past ten or so years: a dog. That's one of the beauties of dogs and cats, if they love you then it's unconditional---they don't give a stuff what your perceived sins are.

"Gudrun!" Mrs Davenport stood and came towards us. Having made a brief fuss of the wriggling Kim, I reached out to Sarah's hand. "If there's any kind of unpleasantness, leave it to me," I muttered, fully expecting to be berated and not really sure how I'd react.

Jeremy's mother reached us and to my surprise folded me in an affectionate hug and kissed both cheeks, more than my own mother had ever done. We'd always had a good relationship but I thought that following the divorce I would be persona non grata. Perhaps not. She felt like a real mother-figure instead of the cold-hearted person who'd raised me "It's so good to see you, Gudrun. Love the new haircut. Not before time." She turned to Sarah, extending a hand. "Hello, I'm Patricia Davenport," she said, "Gudrun's ex-mother-in-law."

"Sarah Rackham," Sarah replied, shaking hands, "I'm Gudrun's friend."

I retrieved Sarah's hand and braced myself. "Sarah's more than my friend, she's my girlfriend." Sarah glanced sideways at me then squeezed my hand hard as if to say thanks.

Patricia smiled, a warm smile without a touch of guile. "You know, I often wondered if you preferred girls." I must have looked surprised because she added: "Oh, there were little signs here and there, the way you looked at some women with what seemed to be a kind of longing, that sort of thing. Anyway, that's great. I'm pleased that you've found someone, Gudrun. We made an appalling mistake, your parents and Edward and I. Edward was my late husband..." she added in explanation to Sarah before turning back to me. "We pushed you and Jeremy into something neither of you wanted and condemned you both to a life of unhappiness. In fact, if you're gay it must have been sheer torture for you. I'm so sorry, my dear. We all thought it for the best, unite the families and so on. The road to hell, as they say... Edward was always more keen than I was but then as an elder he was always more devoted to the church than me."