Fair-Weather Friends

My book hit the stores May 1^st. I was contractually obligated to make a number of personal book signing appearances around the country one of which just so happened to be in Ellicott City, my old hometown in Maryland. I was both anxious and terrified about that one. I took three weeks off of work and did the book tour. One might envision the life of an author as glamorous and uncomplicated. The reality is that it's anything but that. For 28 straight days my routine was catch a flight or a train to a new city, check in at my hotel, and don't unpack because I wasn't going to be there long enough, go to the book signing location, and talk to everybody in a long line of well-wishers and admirers about how my book changed their lives. I really enjoyed talking to everyone at the book signing but the travel and hotels got very old very quickly.

Alicia showed up unannounced to have me sign a book for her in two cities and my signing tour drudgery changed to absolute joy. She acted all shy and demure and I played at the world famous author seducing one of the local women. She spent the night and helped to massage out all the aches and pains that air travel can cause. Each time she left I felt a hole in my being where she used to be. We would talk on the phone but it wasn't the same as holding her in my arms. I was beginning to feel something I hadn't felt in years, something in my heart that only someone in love would understand. I hoped she felt the same way.

The last stop on my tour was my old home town. I asked if they could arrange it so it was last and Prentiss was very accommodating. I knew the bookstore where I was to meet the public very well as it was just a few miles from my old house. The event was to start at noon and run until four. When I arrived at the store there was already a long line of people waiting in front of a table where fifty or so copies of my book were neatly arranged along with a large poster showing my picture from the dust jacket and a picture of the book announcing the times I would be available to sign books. I looked around and saw several people in line that I remembered. The first person in line was my old boss and his wife. I immediately went over to them and hugged both of them before getting the high sign that I was to sit and start signing. We exchanged phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses and I promised to come back and take them both to dinner. I was so happy to see them that I almost forgot about the growing line behind them. I signed the books, chatted for a moment, and smiled at everyone in line. A couple times I stood to take a picture with someone. All in all it was a much better experience than I had expected.

About thirty minutes after I started one of my old friends came up and held out my book. He was one of the people at Connie's funeral that wouldn't make eye contact with me or talk to me. I signed the book 'To My Old Friend' and gave him a smile and a friendly handshake afterwards. Then he did something I hadn't expected. He said in a very quiet voice, "I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I didn't understand until I read your book." Sheepishly he turned and walked away. A similar apology came from several of my one-time friends throughout the afternoon. People that I used to call friends apologized for the way they treated me or judged me. I was almost embarrassed as they walked away.

The most utterly surreal moment occurred when Lenore Jablonski came up to the desk with a copy of my book to be signed. She approached with an uncomfortable looking little grin and said, "Hi Marc. Sorry to meet again like this after all that's occurred but I thought I had to face you and commiserate a little. I can't apologize enough for what John did to you but if it's any consequence you should know that I kicked the son of a bitch out shortly after, well, after Connie passed. We've been divorced for four years now and I'm engaged to a contractor from Annapolis. Oh and just in case you hear anything, there was a rumor going around town that you were looking for John to get a little payback for the pain he caused. He must have heard it because one day he quit his job and took a position in Saudi Arabia as some sort of a computer consultant. I haven't seen him since. Oh, and yes, it was me that started the rumor."

She stood in front of the desk smiling and holding out the book. I didn't know what to do or say. After a quiet minute of just staring at each other I took the book and signed 'To Lenore, NOT a Fair-Weather Friend. I hope that some words in my book can help you find your own deliverance, as I found mine. Thanks for the rumor! Marc.' I went around the table and we hugged for a minute before she left.

At the end of the scheduled time there was still a line waiting in front of the table. I looked up and did a double take. Megan was standing over by one of the book racks watching. She didn't approach or say anything and she looked quite subdued. When I looked up after signing the next book she was gone. I stood and looked around but she had disappeared. The very last person in line was Faye. We hugged and made small talk as she walked me out to her car. She drove me back to my hotel, and no, it wasn't the Holiday Inn, and we sat in the car talking for a while about Alicia. Faye liked her and hoped that I did to. When I told her that I thought I was in love with her she threw her arms around me and cried in my neck.

As luck would have it, right as she was hugging me a police car came up along side and flashed its lights. Police Sergeant Greg got out and tapped on the window. When we all recognized one another it was like old home week. We talked and laughed and hugged each other and I told him what I was doing back in town. He hadn't read my book so I took one out of my supply and signed it for him. I wrote in the front cover 'Greg, Knowing you changed my life. No hard feelings, someone had to do it. Marc.' Greg had to speed away on a call and Faye and I went inside and had dinner.

All in all coming back to where it all started wasn't as traumatic as I had expected.

********

It was a pretty major shock to see Megan standing on the other side of my door. Alicia and I had just finished breakfast and were talking about the latest New York Times Bestseller list and that Fair-Weather Friends now ranked third in the non-fiction category. But all of that faded into oblivion when I saw my daughter standing there.

"Hi Dad, how have you been?" Megan asked with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.

"Hello Megan. I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

"I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop and see how you're doing."

"This neighborhood is 900 miles from yours Megan. Quite a bit out of your way isn't it?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Alicia standing there. "Care to introduce me Marc?" she said with more than a hint of command in her voice.

"Alicia this is my daughter Megan."

Alicia pushed past me and gave Megan a giant hug. "Come on in. I've heard so much about you."

The two women completely ignored me as they walked into the living room. They sat down and talked non-stop for an hour leaving me to clean up the kitchen and do any other household chores that needed to be done. I only passed the living room a couple times while cleaning and they were both talking and giggling. Alicia oohed and aahed as Megan showed her pictures of her kids.

"Honey, come out here and join is," Alicia called. I knew an order when I heard one so I went out and sat down next to her. She grabbed my hand, more to keep me from leaving than as a sign of affection. Megan looked down at our intertwined fingers.

All was quiet for longer than felt comfortable.

"All right, since the two of you aren't going to say anything I'll do it," Alicia said with a gruff tone. "Marc, I invited Megan here because she has something she wants to say to you. I knew that you wouldn't invite her so I did. I know that I'm only a guest in your home but if you want me to keep being a guest then you'll sit right here and listen to her."

My eyes darted back and forth between Megan and Alicia. They had me surrounded and didn't want to start another battle so I sat back and prepared myself.

"Dad, I came here to see how you were doing, that part wasn't a lie. I also came to offer you an apology. Dad, I've been wrong about a lot of things, most of all about you. I was convinced in my mind that everything that happened to Mom and Stuart and me was all your fault. I could only see part of what went on back then. It wasn't until I read your book that I saw things from your point of view. I felt so foolish after I read what you wrote and how painful everything was for you. I guess I never really thought that you had feelings; after all you hardly ever expressed any emotions around us when we were small. Your book helped me to grow up a little. I never realized that I was both a grown woman with a husband and children of my own but at the same time still an innocent little girl to you. I always thought of Mom as a saint even after the awful things she did to you. You were always strong and confident and untouched by everything that went on in the world but I now see that as a façade you used to protect your feelings. Mom broke through that shield and hurt you more than I could have ever imagined. I believed that if you could just be as strong with her and tell her that you forgave her and come back home then everything would be all right. What I didn't understand was that you were strong, strong enough to back away from someone you've loved for more than 25 years to protect all of us from her error.

Dad I'm sorry for not giving you the credit you deserved. Instead I abandoned you and told everyone we knew that everything was all your fault. After Mom died I told people that she died because of what you did. I was wrong and I know it now. I've only started to make amends for what I did. I bought a lot of copies of your book and took them to all of your and Mom's old friends and asked them to read it. I told each one of them that you didn't do anything wrong and you were hurt by what happened more than anyone imagined. I saw you at the book signing a few weeks ago and stood there watching you. I wanted to come up and hug you but I didn't have the nerve.

I'm here today to offer this apology and to ask if you would consider being a part of my life again. It's been more than five years now. You've got two of the most beautiful little grandchildren that you've never met. I want you to come home. I want you to be my father again. I don't want to be dead to you any more. I love you Dad and need you to love me again. Please?"

Megan put her head down in her hands and started crying.

I felt a pang of guilt right then. As I looked over at Alicia I could see her looking at me waiting for me to do something. I thought about what she said and how I could handle the situation. I decide on a delaying tactic while I thought about it.

"What about Stuart?" I asked Megan. "How does he feel about me? Did he know that you were coming here?"

"Stuart's such an ass. I think what Mom did hurt him most of all. After Lorrie caught him running around and divorced him he moved to California and got into the lifestyle out there. He's been hopping from one girlfriend to another for the last few years. From what I hear he was with one married women whose husbands objected pretty strongly to their activities and Stuart decided to leave town or face the consequences. He still believes that everyone cheats and it's no big deal. He doesn't know I'm here and I don't care what he thinks."

Well her little tirade didn't give me enough time to think about what I wanted to do. So I decided to delay again.

"Megan, what are your plans now. Are you staying in town, do you have a place to stay, what?"

"I'm staying with Faye. She wanted me to see her new condo so I'm going to stay there for the next couple days and then head back home."

"I tell you what I'll do. I'll think about everything you said today and let you know what I decide. That's the best I can do for now."

"Dad, truthfully I didn't expect even that much. Thanks. I'll just head over to Faye's now. Alicia, it was nice to finally meet you. I hope we can get together again soon. Take good care of my Dad for me."

Megan left as suddenly as she had appeared. I had a lot to think about but this time I had a guide that wouldn't allow me to do anything stupid. Alicia was a part of me now and I couldn't imagine my life without her.

When I had a moment alone and away from Alicia I let my emotions go. I didn't want her to see me cry.

********

When Alicia and I got back from our Caribbean cruise we immediately flew up to Maryland. The cruise was a gift from Prentiss Press because Fair-Weather Friends made it to number one on the New York Times Best Seller list.

I got to meet my two grandchildren, now two and four, and show Alicia around town. There were a lot of memories in the old place and Megan and I started to make some new ones, again as father and daughter. Alicia had a lot of experience at being a grandparent and she gave me some much welcomed advice to help with the awkward moments. But the best moment came at dinner with Megan's family when I told them that Alicia and I have decided to get married. We made the decision on our cruise and wanted to tell Megan second. Faye's already started planning the wedding. We were going to visit Alicia's kids next and tell them the news.

Alicia and I are very happy. We both said that when we were younger we would have never expected our lives to turn out the way they did. With the naiveté of youth we believed that we were invincible and that our first true love would be our first and final. It didn't happen like some fairy tale, it happened just like millions of other's real life story. I was happy with Connie for 25 years and I expect to be as happy with Alicia for the next 25. Maybe I'll write another book about that.

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith, "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"

Damn that Robert Browning was smart.