Fantasy Becomes Reality

I really liked this story, the plot of this one was great

As much as I enjoy this authors stories, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK'. Bad story badly written.

Liked the story and the ending.

As for the issues between them, communication is always the key in relationships.

Ther was a story in there somewhere that was obscured by all the POV changes and other problems

Often you had no way of telling who was talking or reacting. And what was up with the alarm in the envelope?

The only characters I had sympathy for were the boys. Except they were written as wooden. Three stars.

KPB

"I thought we'd talk. You know about where we're going."

"You made it perfectly clear that you were moving on without me so, that's what I'm doing."

"Hey, I didn't say I was divorcing you right now."

===> whatever sympathy I had for the husband died at the Red Roof Inn (non)confrontation and with those statements above. Yes she was immature and hurt by the oblique "fat" references, and she followed bad advice from her mother when she froze him out, but he never really apologized for anything, made any serious romantic gestures or forced the issue to reconcile. Nope he abandoned his family, overhauled the upstairs of his house and delivered his.marriage death blow at the Red Roof Inn. He coukd have reconciled right there. Nope he was hellbent on revenge. He got everything he deserved after that moment. Honestly she woukd.have been better off without him, but she loved him to much and now.listened to his father's inane ploy. There is no way the MC doesn't file for divorce during those three weeks where she appears to be dating someone new.and talks about moving out with their kids. Entertaining story, but thr husband came off as insecure, whiny, angry, and vindictive. The wife came off as insecure (abiut her weight), bratty, and bitchy. Their first situation coukd be worked out. After the hotel, not much of a chance. Nice they made up post reveal of his father taking her out to dinner, but seriously in real life it never makes it that far especially with a husband with such anger issues. Still 5 stars foe the ride.

Several times the story took a turn that I thought spelled doom and each time the author pulled it out of the fire. The last and best time was when he found his father in the back of the limo. That was one foolish wife and a very angry husband and I hope they both behave like adults from here on out. Good story! 5*****!

I liked it right up until she tried to get the upper hand again. And with his dad's support. No idea what the plan there was. I don't think the author did either other than to.... Get his jealousy going? He didn't have any real interest in her when she was dating around.

Honestly as soon as she tries the dress and lino thing, the story should have pivoted to her finding the house empty and a set of divorce papers on the table.

Good sstory except the alarm in the eneope. Riduculous.

Mad all the time. The act like they’re raged out on ‘roids.

Creative but also crazy. Thr escalating overreaction and miscommunication were both entertaining and nonsensical. In real life, it doesn't end this way. Without the deus ex machina rveal of his dad in the limo, their marriage doesn't recover. Yes she was a bitch for a few weeks when thr whole "bacon" incident happened and she listened yo some shitty advice from her mother and then her father-in-law, but honestly I felt sorry for her because her husband could be a real insensitive, immature prick. Forget the weight gain stuff. The way he acted when she found him at the breakfast at Red Roof Inn, was reprehensible. That was effectively a statement that they were separated. Heck he had alreadyball but abandoned his kids for like a month or more by then. She xame seeling peace and he totally rebuffed her by eqy of being a real dick. Honestly, hr got whatever he deserved at that point. Then it escalated again. She listened to thr father'in-law. She knew it was stupid idea. She didn't want to do it and in the real world, it would have ended up in a disaster. Yes maybe they could have had photos taken of her with her FIL and done damage control afterwards, but in reality he woukd have file for divorce after the first or second time out. I stead she was doing it three times a week for 3 weeks. No way a guy like that stands for it, watching the kids. After date #1, he gets a PI and investigates. He was portrayed as a man of action and fierce guy who happened to also be an insecure, immature prick when he abandoned his family because his wife was being a bitch. She wohld have thawed soon but instead he left and three his "construction" tantrum. Again she got bad advice, but if he had actually put some romantic gestures into his kiss ass phase and really pushed, he would have at least gotten her to a counselor. Instead it was all about him wanting to have sex with her and her upset that she felt like a fat pig and his bacon comment, inflamed by her mother's terrible advice. Seriously, any husband worth his salt could dig out of that ditch by bombarding her with romantic gestures. Instead he just said he was sorry and pressured her for sex. She failed to communicate and give him time of day and he ran off like a little kid despite having kids of his own. Regardless of him being thr bigger asshole, I found the story to be entertaining. But once she agreed to the rich boyfriend hoax, in real life it woukd have ended badly. Maybe his father is smart enough to have evidence of their dinners, to defuse a nuclear scenario, but again how does the MC not file? Only way I see is that he gets a PI involved, learns the truth and then realizes what is going on and slow plays the reconciliation, since her intent at that point is obvious. Only a reveal, whether by PI or seeing his dad in the limo (as in the story) or after thr fact with his dad sitting him down with evidence, defused an otherwise dangerous powderkeg.

Of course the writing was up to your usual high standard, so there's that--which as a "writer" you can certainly take satisfaction from. No quibbles there, re personality delineation and story development--which had enough plot twists to keep (most) readers unsure of just how things were going to end.

Regarding that: there are an infinite number of standard scenarios for marital disfunction--and they are usually very familiar to all because they are (way too) frequently the reality of things. This story had enough deviation that it was both a little unsettling and then...eventually reassuring that couples (even mis-matched ones) can and do work things out to keep their love and marriage alive; perhaps not perfect, but functioning and loving.

So, well done. Keep writing.

MLJ