February Sucked

Before LW could reply, Susan interjected, "Also, your honor, new evidence has come to light that casts further and far more compelling evidence that Mr. Walters should be barred from this case. Can I present it to you at this time?"

"Yes, please Ms. Smith."

"I have here, your honor, certified copies of DNA reports that state that Mr. Jim Brown is not the father of the two children of the marriage, Emma and Tommy. And further, I have certified copies of DNA reports that state that LW, or rather, Mr. Lawrence is actually the father of Emma and Tommy."

LW blanched and grabbed hold of the rail before him with both hands, Linda shrieked and someone in the court shouted, "What the actual fuck?"

The judge banged his gavel and told people to settle down and to be quiet.

Then Susan pulled a sneaky move. She actually had LW subpoenaed as a witness. He objected, but the judge overruled his objection. "Mr. Walters, I hereby revoke your right to appear as an attorney for Linda Brown. And based on the evidence that Susan Smith has presented, I'm going to allow you to be called as a witness."

"But your honor, doesn't that mean that Mrs. Brown has no attorney?"

Well, Mr. Walters, that's true. I will suspend this hearing until 3PM today, allowing Mrs. Brown to seek alternative legal representation. And I have to say before anyone else mentions it, nobody from the law firm of Walters, Rechtsverdreher and Schief will be allowed to represent Mrs. Brown on the grounds of a conflict of interest."

LW muttered something, but the judge replied "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that beforehand, LW?"

At 3PM Linda was represented by a nondescript young man who came from a law firm Susan had only vaguely heard of, Hündin, Perra and Nartu. He was, he told the court, a junior partner, Roger Castilian.

LW, arrogant as ever, decided he didn't need legal representation. Susan took him to pieces in the courtroom.

She had to remind him he was under oath a couple of times. As he gave his evidence, Linda looked more and more sick.

LW had met Linda at our wedding and he decided that he wanted to have her as his lover. She hadn't really thrown up any serious resistance, apparently. The relationship had been ongoing until at least several months ago. I had no fucking idea. None!

Then it was Linda's turn, and Susan smiled. It wasn't a particularly pleasant smile.

"You are Mrs. Linda Brown?" Linda acknowledged that fact. She looked nervous. Well, why shouldn't she be nervous? She'd just seen the famous LW fileted by an expert.

"Mrs. Brown, Linda, how long have you been married to Jim Brown?"

"Ten years."

"Was it a good marriage?" Linda nodded and smiled. "Oh, yes! It's actually a great marriage! Jim's always been a wonderful, attentive husband to me and he's a loving father to our children, Emma and Tommy."

Susan frowned. "We'll come to your children later. In the meantime, I have another question for you. If your marriage was so good, if Jim was such a wonderful and attentive husband, why would you have an affair with LW that has lasted for the entire length of your marriage?"

Linda shook her head, looking distressed. "I don't know. It was complicated."

Susan repeated "complicated?" And then went on to say "Let's return to the matter of your children. Was it a coincidence that Jim did not father either of your children?"

Then Susan snapped at her with an angry whiplash tone, "Mrs. Brown! Stop looking for guidance from your lover! Mr. Walters is no longer your legal representative! Do you understand?"

I felt sorry for Linda. Well, almost, as Susan had frightened her. Shit! Her tone frightened me and she was on my side!

"I... I don't know what you mean?"

All of a sudden Susan's demeanor had changed. She was now speaking in a soft, more friendly tone of voice. Good cop bad cop, but by the same person.

"Well, Mrs. Brown, it's like this. The laws of averages would argue that if a woman were to be having sexual intercourse with two men, there would, on average, broadly be a 50-50 chance of both men impregnating her, right?"

Linda nodded, looking askance. I was starting to see where Susan was taking this and I didn't like it, but I knew it needed to be done.

"I'm just asking, Linda, if there were any external factors, any reason that meant that Jim never had the opportunity to father any children with you?"

Linda burst into tears. Castilian tried to raise some sort of half-assed objection, but was told to shut up by the judge.

Susan said, gently, "Linda, did you and Mr. Walters, LW, take measures to ensure that Jim, your husband, never had the opportunity to impregnate you?"

Linda nodded, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "Yes. LW got me some tablets that he had me take any time Jim had sex with me, if I wasn't on birth control."

"Do you know what the tablets were?"

Linda nodded her head. "They were called Plan B One-Step emergency contraception pills. He got them from a doctor friend of his."

There were groans of disgust from around the court. I heard the same unknown male voice shout out "What the actual fuck?" again. I still couldn't spot him. I wanted to buy him a drink!

This was when Susan dropped her legal bombshell. "Your honor, these shocking revelations have struck at the very heart of the so-called 'marriage' between Mr. Jim Brown and Mrs. Linda Brown.

"Almost as soon as she married Jim Brown, Mrs. Linda Brown took a lover, someone well known to Mr. Brown, in fact a family friend of many decades standing and she conspired with her lover to make certain that her husband would not be able to father any children with her, his own wife."

Susan paused for dramatic effect: "With the prior knowledge and consent of Mr. Jim Brown, I am asking you to discontinue this divorce petition and instead accept a petition of the annulment of the marriage on the grounds of matrimonial fraud."

More pandemonium, more gavel banging. To my surprise, but not to Susan's, the judge agreed, but had to set a new court date for the annulment trial.

Poor squeaky voiced Mr. Castilian raised an objection but the judge smiled at him in a kindly fashion, and said, "Look, I appreciate that your law firm took this case at literally the last minute and that it turned out to be what we call a turd in a punchbowl of a case, but it is what it is. In my professional view, an annulment on the grounds of fraud seems to be the only logical way forward out of this damn mess. And your client has only herself to blame for the situation she finds herself in."

Two weeks later and we were in court again. This time, Linda was represented by one of the partners of the law firm, Roger Nartu.

He addressed the judge in emollient tones. "Your honor, a case for annulment of a marriage on the grounds of matrimonial fraud is a difficult case to prove. And as the marriage is a decade in length, I feel it only right and proper to ask the court to accept my motion for dismissal on the grounds that it is now timed out."

Susan rose to her feet. "Your honor, I raise an objection to the motion because if my client had been aware that his wife was having an affair from the very start of his marriage, yes, he would have been able to seek the legal termination of the marriage at that time. But as he only recently discovered the long-term matrimonial fraud, so is seeking an annulment of the marriage now, at the earliest possible time."

She paused before continuing. "One of the reasons that the fraud against my client was so egregious was because he learned that neither of the children given birth to by his wife, Tommy and Emma, were actually fathered by my client. They were both fathered by his wife's secret lover, Lawrence Walters. And in evidence given in open court, it became clear that Mrs. Brown and Mr. Walters took active, definite steps to ensure that my client was prevented from fathering any children with his own wife. That that privilege was reserved for her illicit lover."

The judge nodded. "Ms. Blake, I agree. The defense that Mr. Brown's action for an annulment on the grounds of matrimonial fraud is 'out of time' must fail, because, as you so rightly pointed out, Mr. Brown brought the action at his earliest opportunity."

Nartu attempted to seek a ruling that matrimonial fraud did not exist as grounds for an annulment in our jurisdiction, and that his research hadn't shown any recent cases.

That seriously pissed off the judge. "Really, Mr. Nartu? Is that all you have? Listen to me and listen to me well. In our State, matrimonial fraud does exist as grounds for an annulment of a marriage on. I'm glad there aren't many cases like this in our court's records. Hopefully, this means that sickening cases like the one before me today are a rarity."

We called LW, but he decided to plead the Fifth Amendment so wouldn't answer any questions. He obviously didn't want to get fileted by Susan again.

That didn't help him, because the questions he wouldn't answer were a part of the court record.

Linda's answers were a pitiful mixture of self-justification and whining. LW was very convincing, LW was an expert in seduction, the reason why she didn't let me father any children was because she was concerned any child I fathered wouldn't look like Tommy and Emma, so her secret would be out.

When Susan said, "But Linda, Mrs. Brown, if you hadn't decided to allow LW to father your two children in the first place, that wouldn't have been an issue, would it?" At that point, Linda deflated.

I was the next witness. I spoke of how I had been betrayed by an old family friend whose relationship to my family went back to my grandparent's days. How I had been betrayed by my wife, who had conspired with her lover to keep me from fathering children. How they had turned me into their cuckold.

Linda began sobbing, shouting, "You can father children with me now, Jim! I'm sorry!"

The judge shook his head. "I hear what you say, Mrs. Brown, but it's more than a day late and much more than a dollar short. After hearing the evidence from both sides, especially the heartrending statement from Mr. Brown, I am ruling that the marriage between Mr. Jim Brown and Mrs. Linda Brown is hereby annulled as a result of the gross and utterly egregious matrimonial fraud perpetrated on Mr. Brown by Mrs. Brown and her lover, Lawrence Walters."

He banged his gavel, said "court dismissed" and that was it. My marriage was over, because it had been ruled that it had never actually existed.

That wasn't the end of it, however. Tommy and Emma still had to be taken care of, there was our property and money to be disposed of and Tommy and Emma required therapy, obviously.

Also, Ellen and Susan would not let it go. "LW needs to be dealt with," Susan said. "I'll report him to the State Bar to see if I can get him thrown out."

"I have a friend who is a private detective, and I'm going to get him to dig really deep into the shenanigans of LW," Ellen said.

Her friend, a former city police detective who had decided to strike out on her own, dug really deeply and brought up some real monsters from the deep, apologies for mixing my analogies there.

I moved into a three bedroomed apartment and had rotating custody of Tommy and Emma. Things were settling into a new normal when, of course, everything went to utter shit. Again.

Without telling me, Susan had placed adverts in the local papers and also on social media. "I am a lawyer seeking married women who were in a long-term relationship with a specific lawyer and who had children fathered by that lawyer. Please contact me at box number LW/1 or DM me."

Five other married women got in touch with her! Five!

When Susan was telling me about this, I was flabbergasted. "How in the name of fuck did he get away with this for so long?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I really, really don't know. But it's all coming out, now."

A sudden thought entered my mind. "Are there any more children that the piece of shit fathered?"

Susan looked glum and nodded, saying, "At least another eight, besides your two children. I'm going to launch a class action against LW and his damn legal firm as at least a couple of the wives involved met LW through the law firm. I'm going to make the law firm of Walters, Rechtsverdreher and Schief rue the day they allowed LW to rule the roost!"

The partners threw LW out as they tried to mitigate the damage LW had caused the partnership, but it didn't really do them any good. I was one of the people in the class action lawsuit. I did earn about $2 million, minus fees, of course.

Then the private detective came up with something that nearly caused me to lose my mind.

Susan asked to see me with Ellen at Ellen's apartment. There was nothing going on between Ellen and me. We were just friends.

Ellen gave Susan a nervous look before she commenced speaking. "Jim, my detective has found something out that really shocked the both of us. We discovered that the law firm of Walters, Rechtsverdreher and Schief were retained as legal representatives of the NFL club that Marc LaValliere plays for, and that LW also served as specialist outside legal counsel for Marc LaValliere.

"This triggered alarm bells for the both of us, and we served subpoenas on the club and on Marc LaValliere.

"The club put pressure on LaValliere to speak with us, and eventually he admitted that he had been told by LW to muscle in on your evening with Linda. Apparently, the plan had been for you to get roughed up and humiliated by LaValliere on the dancefloor, but when his seduction of Linda had succeeded beyond his wildest expectations, he decided to play it by ear and whisked her away to his home."

I ran into the bathroom and threw up. When I returned several minutes later, the girls gave me a glass of water.

Ellen continued speaking. "Apparently LW got LaValliere out of a piece of legal trouble, so he owed him a favor. I am so, so sorry."

"I want to kill LW for what he's done. First, he takes my wife, then my opportunity to father children, then my dignity. What a fucking bastard he is!"

Susan spoke up. "I know this is dreadful news, Jim, but you mustn't physically go after LW. Whatever else he is, he's an elderly man and if you kill him, you'll be jailed for life. What about Tommy and Emma? What happens to them?"

I shook my head. "But they aren't even my children! I have no children, no wife, no family. Nothing!"

Ellen hugged me. "You have friends, us, plus also Emma and Tommy need you. You were there for them when they needed a dad. Where was LW when you were there for them? Rutting with some other bimbo wife and getting her pregnant!"

Susan took my hand. "You still have your dignity. Plus, two mil from that bastard, don't forget that!"

I smiled at that. Oh, yeah, it was a weak smile, but it was there, all the same.

We sued LaValliere and the club and received about $500k in an out of court settlement. It wasn't a fortune by I used the money to set up college funds for Emma and Tommy.

The State Bar held a trial for LW and he had a medical report that attempted to exonerate him from all responsibility because he was a narcissist with poor impulse control who could not help himself. Blah, blah, fucking blah.

The trial came to an abrupt end when a tiny, white-haired lady entered the room. She approached LW who was looking smug, until he saw her face. He shrieked out "Betty! But you are dead!"

She said, in a surprisingly strong voice, "No, LW. Not dead. Your wife has come back for you from beyond what you thought was her grave!"

She removed a gun from her purse and shot LW twice right through the heart of his stupid white suit. The bastard was probably dead before he hit the floor. That was why there was such a remarkably small flow of blood, I guessed.

She surrendered her gun, and later on she shared her story with the police detectives. LW had been married to her for several years, but he'd got bored with her and had thought a friend who owed him a favor (a modus operandi of LW, it appeared) had been paid to murder her. But the friend had, instead, taken the money and fled with Betty and they had lived a comfortable life as husband and wife until he had passed a couple of years previously.

She had seen online coverage of what LW had done most recently, and as she had been diagnosed with a terminal illness, had decided to bring retribution down on him.

How had she got the gun through the barriers? She was a resourceful little old lady.

She was taken to the police station, processed and we, Ellen, Susan and me, bailed her out. We put her up in a local hotel. I'm sure her story of what a bastard LW was would be a real doozy.

After we'd squirreled her away, we had drinks, the three of us, at Ellen's apartment. "Seeing LW's wife Betty in the State Bar building threw me" I said.

"As far as I knew, LW's wife is called Martha, though she rarely attended any public events. In fact in all the years I knew LW, I only even saw her a handful of times."

Ellen shook her head. "For pretty obvious reasons LW never introduced me to Martha. But it looks now as if LW is actually a homicidal bigamist, too."

I shrugged then said "And a fucking narcissistic scum, too."

"You know, Jim," said Ellen shyly, "I thought, I feared that you were going to kill LW. I'm so glad you didn't."

I smiled, shrugged and said "Now we'll never have to find out."

I laughed, Ellen laughed and Susan laughed.

As I walked home, I disassembled the.38 pistol I had bought illegally to murder LW, and I disposed of each separate component in a different trash can. The six bullets, I threw in several different parts of the river as I strolled along the riverbank.

Would I have shot LW? I think I probably would.

I realized I owed Betty Walters a great deal. Least I could do was pay for her legal costs. As I climbed into bed that night, I was thinking I'd clear it with Susan in the morning. We'd get one of her associates to take on her defense.

Before she went to trial she died in a local hospice and as I hadn't really spent much on her defense I paid for a headstone and a plot in the city cemetery.

I dedicated myself to being the best father I could to my children, yes, LW, I consider them my children, so chew on that.

I still have barely anything I want to say to Linda, she's upset by that? Cry me a river, bitch.

She actually wondered if we could get together now LW had passed over? Delusional as well as stupid.

Ellen convinced me see someone who trained with her at college, which is working well, though slowly. There's a lot of angst and heartbreak to unpick, after all.

But Ellen has decided to go back to college to finish her MSC off. Luckily her old professor is still there and remembers her with fondness.

As far as dating is concerned? I'm not ready for that, but one day I will be.