February Sucks - Aftermath

Like a number of authors, GeorgeAnderson's February Sucks (https://www.literotica.com/s/february-sucks) had a profound effect on my imagination. I had started other stories, but it was the impetus of GeorgeAnderson's story that got me to finish something. I understand that some readers are tiring of the number of sequels being offered to February Sucks, but it clearly still is a force driving the creativity of some authors.

One of my criticisms of sequels to many stories, including February Sucks, is that authors unhappy with the conclusion of a story substantially change the rules that the original author placed upon the world they created. In my sequels here, I try to accept the assumptions of GeorgeAnderson's world.

One of the main criticisms of GeorgeAnderson's original story is that readers struggled with the suggestion of a "happily ever after" ending -- that Jim would forgive Linda her major transgression and everything in their marriage would be back to the way it was before. While I accepted GeorgeAnderson's conclusion, I wanted to explore that conclusion by looking at Jim and Linda's marriage years after the end of the original story.

While I have accepted the tenets of GeorgeAnderson's original story, I did allow that two people witnessing the same event could see that event in different ways, depending on their points of view.

When I used GeorgeAnderson's words, I have tried to present those in italics, but I may have missed some as I got carried away with the writing on this one.

There is no sex in this story.

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Setting, 20 years after the end of February Sucks.

Dee hadn't been back to town in nearly 20 years, leaving shortly after her divorce from Dave. After that Leap Day in February, things were strained between Dee and her friends, and after Dave found out that she had sex with Marc LaValliere, her marriage was over, so there wasn't much to keep her in town. She had moved west and settled first in Davis, California and then Pullman, Washington. She had been married for a short time in each place, but she was divorced again, and she wanted to see how the old hometown had changed.

Dee took advantage of the warm October afternoon to walk from her hotel through the old neighborhood. Even though she was in her early fifties, Dee was still a striking woman. She was tall with long legs; she walked confidently and was always impeccably dressed; and her long hair was dyed to its natural chestnut color. When she left town, there had been a diner on the corner where the older people in the neighborhood would hang out, but now a coffee shop occupied that place. Dee entered out of curiosity and was pleasantly surprised at the choices of pastries and different brews. Maybe there was some culture developing here after all!

Dee purchased a blueberry scone and an almond milk latte and scanned the room looking for a place to sit. Across the way, there was a woman, about her age, with a dark brown ponytail streaked with gray. She was looking intently at her phone while nibbling on a danish. Dee stopped and stared for a moment, because there was something familiar about the way the woman moved, and then it hit her -- Linda!

Dee had lost track of her friend after leaving town. She had texted Linda for a while, but shortly the texts started bouncing back. Dee had sent messages through Facebook, but Linda's page was deactivated after a couple of years. Dee hadn't had contact with her former best friend in over 15 years, and she hadn't realized until she saw Linda sitting there how much she missed the relationship they had.

Dee cautiously crossed the room -- it had been almost 20 years since she had seen Linda, and she didn't want to startle a stranger. As she got closer, she recognized the unmistakable contours of Linda's face. In addition to the gray streaks in her dark hair, Linda had accumulated little lines on her forehead and faint crow's feet at the corners of her eyes (little flaws that Dee had paid good money to have hidden on her face).

Dee walked around to approach Linda from the front and softly said, "Linda, is that you?"

Linda looked up as she recognized that voice from her past. "Dee? What are you doing here?" A flash of conflicting emotions flooded Linda's mind. Dee didn't recognize the thoughts behind the tightening of Linda's brow -- apparently, the separation had dulled Dee's sensitivity to Linda's emotional state, or maybe she never was really that sensitive to Linda's emotions.

"Linda! It's so good to see you!" gushed Dee. "I just came to town for a visit. I can't believe I was lucky enough to run into you on my first day back. I'm sorry that I lost touch with you. You were always such a good friend."

"Do you mind if I join you?" Dee asked as she slid into the chair opposite Linda without waiting to hear the answer. "You look so great! How are you doing?"

"Things are going fine," Linda responded without returning the courtesy question.

Dee looked at Linda's left hand holding the tall coffee, and she could clearly see Linda's distinctive wedding set on her ring finger. "Oh, Linda. I see you're still married! That's wonderful. I was worried about you, and then we lost touch. How are the kids?"

Linda relaxed just a little. "Emma got married three years ago to a nice guy that is an engineer. They have a little girl that'll be two in June. Her husband Chase is a darling and takes care of little Nancy while Emma is studying for her MBA."

"Tom was a computer science major and is working on a master's degree. He already has offers from Microsoft, but I'm not sure he's comfortable with big tech. He has a sweet girlfriend that was a math major. She works at an insurance company as an actuary right now until they figure out where Tom might land."

"Wow," said Dee. "They were just little kids when I left town. You know time passes, but I never pictured them as adults."

"And Michael," Linda continued, "is a senior in high school."

"Michael!?" Dee interrupted. "Who's Michael?"

"Oh, yeah," Linda replied. "Michael was born a couple of years after you left town. Jim was a department manager by the time Michael came along, so Jim got to coach Michael's baseball and soccer teams -- stuff he didn't have time to do when Emma and Tom were that age. Jim and Michael are really close."

"That's great! I didn't know you had another baby," Dee excitedly said.

"Michael has worked really hard and is a good baseball player. He has a scholarship offer from a Division II school in Tennessee, but that is awfully far away. He has been accepted at a Division III school nearby. We're really hoping he goes there. He's a good student, so he has some academic scholarships; Jim did a good job saving, so we can afford the tuition; and all of the schools in their conference are within driving distance, so we can still watch him play."

"That's great!" Dee said; her enthusiasm was honest for her friend. "It sounds like you have some great kids, there."

"Thanks. What about you?"

Dee looked wistful. "It never worked out for me. When Dave and I split up, it was about the time we should have been thinking about kids. Somehow the timing of life and my other marriages never worked out."

Dee returned to the subject of Linda's life, "I know it was rough between you and Jim when I left town. I'm glad things have worked out!"

Linda looked at her left hand and focused on the symbols of her marriage with a feeling of great pride tinged by sadness. "Jim and I just celebrated our 32^nd wedding anniversary. There was a period there when I wasn't sure we were going to make it past our twelfth."

Dee responded, "Oh, of course you would. I knew you two would always be together. I told you everything would be like it was before after Jim got over being hurt!"

Linda looked incredulously at her former friend, "Go back to the way things were?! Are you crazy?" Linda retorted. "They never went back to the way they were. We're still married, but only because Jim really loves the kids. He didn't want to disrupt their lives and lose his daily influence on them. Jim's love for his family was what allowed him to forgive me, but I never got back what we had before."

Dee was shocked at Linda's angry tone, and somewhat meekly replied, "But Jim forgave you and took you back. You're still married, and you have your kids and your husband."

"Jim forgave me, but he never completely got over what I did. He was hurt so badly," Linda said. "Everything changed! I lost so much!"

"What do you mean?" Dee asked.

"Did you know that Jim has never taken me dancing since trying on my birthday when that woman Ellen got in the way? Jim and I used to love to dance, but the only time he and I have danced since he let me move back into the house was at Emma's and Tom's weddings. At Emma's wedding, the planner had scheduled a crossover dance with Scott's parents. Emma thought it would be a great way for the parents to get to know each other since Scott grew up in Iowa. But I knew Jim wouldn't react well to seeing me dance with another man, and I was lucky enough to be able to talk the wedding planner out of it."

"You can't tell me Jim would have been so petty over something that happened almost 20 years before that he would have ruined Emma's wedding over it?" Dee asked.

"Oh, he wouldn't have said a word. Since the night he forgave me and took me back, we've hardly said one word to each other about what happened that night outside of our marriage counselor's office." Linda responded.

"Then how do you know it would have bothered him?"

Linda frowned. "Dee, I've been with him for almost 35 years. He doesn't have to say anything for me to know how he feels. God, if I'd only paid attention to Jim's feelings 'that' night!"

"About six months after he forgave me, and I thought our relationship was getting better, I was trying to do something special to create some new, happy memories for us, so I thought we could go out dancing for a date night. I arranged for Mrs. Porter to watch Emma and Tommy and made reservations at the Jackson Pub -- it was a new place over on the west side that was becoming popular at the time."

"When I told Jim about the plans, I saw his jaw clinch, and his back stiffened ever-so-slightly. A look came over his face like he'd just been jabbed with a pin, but he was trying not to show it. I could see the pain on his face, and knew he was thinking about 'that night.' I backed off immediately and cancelled the reservations. Over the next five years, I may have asked him three or four more times to go out, and he reacted the same way every time. He had forgiven me in his head, but he still had a physical reaction he couldn't control every time he thought I might be in a place to be hit on by other men, and I couldn't put him through any more pain, so I never asked him to go out again."

"Are you saying that Jim was such a weenie that you never had any fun, ever again?" Dee asked.

"Oh, God, no! Jim is the strongest man I know. He did one of the most difficult things that a man could ever do when he chose to keep our family together. This was just something that he couldn't mentally control. Through counseling, I've learned how badly I hurt him by what I did."

"How was Jim hurt? Nothing really happened to him," Dee challenged.

Linda sadly shook her head at her clueless former friend. "Do you remember what the guys used to say about me and Jim?" asked Linda.

Dee thought for a moment. "Yeah, they used to say that 'You are the best of us.' You guys had the best relationship, we all envied you. We all wanted some of what you had."

"Well, Jim lost that after that night," Linda replied quietly.

"No, he didn't, or at least he shouldn't have if he'd just been a little more understanding," argued Dee. "The guys all wanted to support Jim, and we all wanted you to get past what happened and stay together. Jim is the one that withdrew from the group. That's his fault."

Linda began to scold to Dee for ignoring Jim's feelings, then she remembered that she had done the same thing when she thought Jim could learn to accept it and move on.

"It took me a long time to understand the harm I had done to Jim," said Linda. "My counselor finally convinced me that he has a form of PTSD because I had damaged Jim's self-image on multiple levels."

"How so?" asked Dee, still feeling Jim should have just toughed it out.

Linda committed in her mind to explain it to her dense former friend.

"This isn't a conversation we should have in here," said Linda. Let's go out to the park where we have some space."

The two women gathered up their coffees and pastries and walked out to the shore along the lake. It was cool enough that the crowd was light, but the sun shining made the afternoon tolerable. Plus, Linda thought that the breeze would muffle their voices to reduce eavesdropping. They picked a table away from others and sat on either side, facing each other.

"We were in marriage counseling for quite a while, and I have gone to counseling myself to try to understand what happened. I'm down to a few sessions a year, but it helps remind me not to get complacent."

"My counselor helped me understand how important status is to guys," Linda said. "Every guy has a fear, that may go back to evolution and that is certainly a strong social instinct, that a stronger, better looking, richer, or more powerful male will swoop in and steal his mate."

"What is the old saying? 'Motherhood is a matter of fact; fatherhood is a matter of faith.'? The only way men know that they are raising their own children is to keep their mates faithful."

"Jim thought he had done everything he needed to keep me faithful. He was a good earner; he considerate husband who thought he satisfied me in bed; and he was a good father to his children. He had complete faith in the strength of our marriage. Then, with no warning, I walked out of that club with a guy who was taller, stronger, more famous, better looking, and richer. It was like I hit every insecurity button for the average man, and it devastated Jim's self-image."

"Plus, it was obvious when I came home that Marc had fucked me really well. That played hell with Jim's confidence in bed, too."

"How could Jim know?" Dee asked.

"Well, first, I stayed with Marc for almost 15 hours. If the sex had sucked, I would have gotten home sooner."

"Damn, girl. I was only with him for about 5 hours, and he left me in a quivering puddle," Dee mused. "If you took 15 hours of that, you are my hero!"

"That's not really the point," Linda said, frowning at Dee. "It was pretty obvious to Jim that it was a good night just based on when I got home. Plus, Jim knows my face. It's not like I walked into the house all tense."

Dee just nodded in understanding.

"Then, there was that stupid letter. Jim asked me to write it all down. I wanted to be honest with him, to try to rebuild some trust, but I knew I couldn't tell him everything and have any chance of getting him back."

"I think I might have put too much in there. I said that sex with Marc was like being possessed, and I'd never felt that before. I meant that it felt like I wasn't controlling my own actions, like I was possessed, like by an evil spirit; I was hoping that would help Jim understand that I felt out of control. Jim took it that Marc had reached a place that Jim never would, and that Marc owned that piece of me that Jim never could. It made Jim feel inadequate."

"Even in counseling, I couldn't make Jim understand that I didn't have sex with Marc because the sex in our marriage was inadequate. Going with Marc really had nothing to do with Jim, but he just stayed focused on the idea that he had to be inadequate in some way for me to leave like that. Nothing I could say would convince him. In our private meetings the marriage counselor told me to give it up; that talking about it just kept reminding Jim what happened. Jim held on to that letter for a long time. He might still have it hidden away somewhere."

"Yeah, I can see that," Dee said.

"We had problems in the bedroom for quite a while. Sometimes Jim was fine, but sometimes it was like there was a ghost hanging over the bed whenever we tried to be together. Jim couldn't relax and open up -- like he was trying to compete with something that wasn't there. Sometimes Jim struggled to keep it up with me, but other times he would just pound me with no sensitivity at all. I'm pretty sure I received more than a few hate-fucks over the years. There are still some days when Jim is in a dark mood, and I know something has reminded him about what happened. Those are the nights he turns his back to me in bed, and I'm not sure he's asleep."

"That's sad," said Dee.

Linda continued, "Let's go back what you said earlier: that you all considered Jim and me the model couple. Jim had a good job, a big house, nice kids, and a beautiful wife. He had some cool toys in the garage and the best grill in the neighborhood. All of the guys looked up to Jim in one way or another, and that was important to him."

"Yeah, we all were a little jealous of you two," Dee confirmed.

"In that moment when I left him in the club, and everyone else at the table realized what had happened, Jim went from the coolest guy in the room to the most pitied."

"But the guys wanted to help him -- help you both. We all did," said Dee.

"It didn't matter. Jim couldn't face the looks that he got from the other guys. No matter what they did, he could tell that they felt sorry for him."

"Plus, those were the same guys who sat there and did nothing to help him on the most devastating night of his life. If they had jumped up and said, 'Come on Jim, let's go find the bastard and kick his ass,' Jim might have been able to stay friends with them. As Jim told the story to our marriage counselor, the guys just sat there and let you carry the conversation and sort of backed you up, making excuses for me. They just made Jim feel abandoned."

"Just because I was selfish, I crushed my husband's self-image, and I separated him from the guys he thought were his friends. I left him totally alone."

"I never thought about it that way," Dee said.

"Dee, do you remember how Jim and the guys used to hang out all of the time and play golf and go to the lake and ski and watch ball games and stuff?"

Dee nodded.

"Jim doesn't really have any male friends anymore. He talks about people at work, and every once in a while, we go to a cookout or baby shower to be polite, but there isn't anyone that he does anything with. He hasn't played golf since just after we got back together."

"But Dave used to tell me that Jim was the best golfer in the group," Dee said.

"Yeah, but golf reminded him of the friends that he felt like had betrayed him."

"Jim doesn't watch sports anymore, either. He couldn't stand to see Marc on TV. Even if Jim watched another game, if they broke in with a highlight of Marc, it would just put Jim in a funk. Then, when Marc retired, he became part of the studio pregame show, and he had those razor commercials. The only way Jim could keep from seeing his face was to just stop watching sports. We cancelled our cable years ago. I think that's one of the reasons that Jim started taking the kids hiking and camping -- it kept him out of the house on the weekends when the games were on."

Dee was starting to pick at her scone -- she seemed to have lost her appetite.

"Just after we got back together, Jim had an interview for a promotion. It should have been a formality because the position had really been created for him. Jim just blew the interview. He spent the whole time apologizing for everything that had gone wrong in the department in the last year --things that weren't his fault and that he discovered and fixed. In the end, they hired a woman from outside."