February Sucks - Another Version

Linda was anxious to make love to me at every opportunity. Almost always, she would initiate sex. I seldom declined.

It was several weeks later that we were having sex when I noticed her eyes were closed. That was unusual. Almost always, we liked to look into each other's eyes just as we climaxed. I continued on until we were finished with each other.

A few minutes after I rolled off of her, I said, "You were fantasizing."

"What," she replied.

"You were fantasizing about someone else fucking you, weren't you? My guess is that you were thinking about the Asshole and the things he did to you on the 29^th of February."

She was caught. "I couldn't help it, Jim. I'm so sorry. The feeling of being with him just came over me."

I responded, "I understand and I am not angry. Actually, I just don't care. You can fantasize about anyone you want. It doesn't bother me, especially since I was able to get my rocks off anyway."

With that, I rolled over on my side facing away from her and drifted off to sleep. Before I was totally asleep, I felt her curl up and spoon with me and I may have heard her weeping.

As time went on, Linda began to notice the small things that I had once done for her were not being repeated. I had stopped calling her pet names and referred to her only as Linda. I didn't buy anything for her birthday. Rather, I helped the kids buy cards and balloons and flowers and a cake. I didn't plan anything for our wedding anniversary. Linda seemed hurt that I didn't even buy her a bouquet of flowers. She finally asked if we were going out on a date for our wedding anniversary. I acquiesced and took her to Ruby Tuesdays for something to eat. She was disappointed that it was not a more formal, dress-up date that included dancing.

Linda tried to get me to let my former friends back into our social circle. I told her adamantly that I never wanted to see them again and I never wanted them over to the house, not even Dee, who Linda maintained as a close friend.

On a mid-autumn night in September, I told Linda that I was going out to meet some friends for dinner. Since I didn't often take her out, she said that she would like to go with me and meet my friends. Initially, I didn't think it was a good idea but then I reconsidered. Maybe she should meet some people I considered important to me. I dressed in slacks, a white, open-collared shirt and a sport coat, not nearly as formal as on the night the Asshole seduced my late wife. Linda dressed down, too. Obviously, this was a casual dinner.

Linda was surprised when I pulled up to the entrance of the Iris Club and asked me if I was comfortable at this location, since it was the scene of the event that had caused me such a catastrophic reaction. Also, it was the place the Asshole still frequented and hunted married prey. I told her I liked the Iris Club a lot and had adopted it as my personal hangout. It was posh, had a great bar, good food, a large dance floor and a live band that played music from my era, i.e., Swing, Hustle, Cha-cha as well as romantic slow songs.

Once inside, I spotted my friends already seated at a table on the edge of the dance floor. Mary stood up immediately when she recognized me and came around to table to give be a big kiss on the lips. It was hot and I kissed her back. She hugged me and told me she and Bill were so happy to see me again.

Linda was startled to see such a demonstration of affection for me from a beautiful woman she had never met. She was instantly jealous of Mary.

I shook hands with Bill and then turned to greet my friends, Walt and Wendy Stocker. Wendy also gave me a warm hug.

For a few moments, I actually had forgotten about Linda. As I turned, I realized she had been standing behind me just watching all the warm greetings my friends had for me. I finally introduced her. "Everyone, this is Linda. Linda, these are my friends Bill and Mary Blackwell and Walt and Wendy Stocker."

Linda was still at a loss as to who, exactly, my friends were, since I had never mentioned them by name to her in conversation.

Wendy spoke to Linda first. "It's nice to meet you, Linda. But it is sort of a surprise. We thought Jim was going to come alone."

"He wanted to," Linda replied. "but we don't go out together too much anymore, and I wanted a night out with my husband and I wanted to meet his new friends."

"To tell you the truth, Linda," Mary said, "we didn't know whether or not you two were still together."

"Of course, we're together, we're married." Linda shot back just a little annoyed at the directness of the questions she was being asked.

Mary continued, "I know, but based on everything Jim had told us about what he had been through, we are surprised that things worked out for you and your children. We are happy for Jim."

I spoke up about that time and said, "I've made certain adjustments to our relationship that permit me to stay married and raise my children."

Linda turned to me and said, "They know about me? They know what I did?"

Wendy addressed her, "Yes, we know pretty much everything about you and about each other."

Linda was now suspicious of my friends because they seemed to know so much about me, about us and, at the same time we were obviously so close as friends.

"Where, exactly, do you know each other from?" Linda asked tentatively.

Bill volunteered, "We all met on a cruise last April on The Star of the Ocean. We became friends almost from the first day that we sailed."

"Tell me about it," Linda said. "I would like to know just what a great time Jim had on the cruise."

Bill and Mary, and Walt and Wendy all looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Tell her everything."

"Well," Bill started, "we met Jim at our dinner table in the evening of the second night of the cruise. He was with a beautiful lady named Roxy. They, apparently, had spent the previous evening together and had every intention of sleeping together a second night.

"I took an immediate liking to Roxy and tried to shovel all sorts of trash on her the next day and evening. As much as she liked Jim, she agreed to spend the night with me."

"And Jim didn't mind," Linda said with a little amazement.

Bill continued, "No, he did not. Roxy was on the cruise to have a good time. She was like a flower opening up in the sunshine and wanted to have a number of different experiences during the ten days at sea."

Linda, shaking her head, addressed Mary. "And it didn't bother you to see your husband hook up with some strange lady right in front of you?"

"Not at all," answered Mary. "First of all, Roxy was not some strange woman. We all liked her and she liked us. Second, you should know that Bill and I were swingers while we were on the cruise. We were out to enjoy a variety of partners for the ten days were away from home and our kids."

Linda, with an astonished look on her face, said, "What kind of cruise was this, anyway?"

Both Mary and Wendy answered her together. "It was a singles cruise."

Linda put her hand over her mouth. When she recovered, she said, "Go on. Tell me more about Jim's adventures on The Star of the Ocean.

I shrugged again when everyone looked at me and said, "Tell her everything"

Mary was quick to pick up on the story. "Well, with my husband shacking up with Roxy that night, I needed a place to sleep and a man to sleep with. So, I danced very close to Jim that night and told him that I thought he was extremely attractive to me and that I would love to make love to him that night. And Jim was very receptive, which made me feel very good because I had already formed an attachment to him."

Then, Mary went farther. "Your husband is an excellent lover. I so enjoyed my time with him. I can't believe you ever looked at another man. But, apparently, you did."

Linda was shaking her head but finally looked at Walt and Wendy who seemed to be enjoying the story. "Are you swingers, too?" she asked.

Walt answered Linda's question. "Heavens no," he said. "Wendy and I are as monogamous as they come. In thirty-five years of marriage, we have never slept around on each other."

"Then why," Linda asked, "were you on a singles cruise?"

Well, Linda, it's like this," Wendy took over the conversation. "The environment aboard a single cruise is electric with sensual tensions. The ambiance is alive with people, for whatever reason, are trying to hook up for sex. Many of them want just the sex while others are hoping for a relationship or something more long-term. Everybody has their own private motive for being there. Jim had his, Roxy had hers, Bill and Mary had theirs and we had ours. We enjoyed the total environment. It turned us on. Walt and I probably made love more times in the space of that ten-day cruise than we did during the following six months. We have been doing this, going on this cruise, every year for over ten years now."

Linda turned back to Mary and asked her to continue. Mary didn't hesitate. "On the fourth night of the cruise, Jim showed up for dinner with two beautiful ladies. They were sisters. The older woman was named Ellen and her younger sister was Irene. According to Ellen, they had met Roxy during a tour on shore and Roxy had extolled the abilities of your husband in bed, as well as telling them that he was just an all-around good guy. Ellen made it her mission to introduce Jim to Irene and pushed them together like a matchmaker. I imagine it was easy for both of them to become charmed with each other because they became inseparable for the next four days.

"According to what Jim told us toward the end of the cruise, Ellen broke them up because she thought they were forming a close bond which, according to Ellen, was not good for either of them.

"Since my husband was off chasing tail, I took it upon myself to hang with Jim for the next two days. Although he was broken up about being separated from Irene, he and I still had two enjoyable days together.

"On the last night of the cruise, all of us, including a few of the friends that Roxy had made, and Bill and I had made along the way; had a farewell dinner together. We hugged and kissed and danced until midnight and then we went our individual ways. I think Roxy stayed with Jim that night."

During the time that these stories were being told, Walt had ordered a variety of appetizers that we shared between us. We also kept the waitress busy with drinks and reorders of drinks. At nine o'clock, the band assembled and started playing. Mary immediately asked me to dance and without get Linda's approval, grabbed my hand and led me onto the dance floor. Bill was good enough to dance with Linda, and Walt and Wendy danced together. Over the next hour or so, we danced in all sorts of combinations. I didn't ask Linda to dance but she did ask me.

Around ten o'clock at night, Mary nudged Linda and said, "Is that him?

Linda turned around to look across the dance floor. We all turned to look.

The Asshole was joining friends at a large table on the other side of the dance floor. He was noisily acknowledged by his dinner party and a number of others who recognized him as the NFL star tight end.

"He's gorgeous!" Mary said.

"Yes, he is," Linda replied. She turned from watching him to facing toward the table and me. I remained relaxed on unconcerned.

"Why did you bring me here?" Linda demanded to know. I didn't answer her.

Another half hour went by and the Asshole danced with several people that were part of his party. But then, he started to make the rounds.

Mary said, "He's coming this way."

Linda froze.

I don't think he recognized Linda to start with because she had her back to him. But as he stopped at the table, it was evident that he did remember her... sort of.

"It's nice to see you again... ah... ", he stumbled on her name.

"Her name is Linda, Asshole," I said.

The Asshole glared at me but knew I was undoubtedly the cuckold husband of some months before. He merely smirked at my comment.

The Asshole continued on. "And who is this beautiful lady you are with?"

Linda hesitated to answer but Mary didn't. "My name is Mary," she said while gazing up at him with a big smile on her face.

"Mary, my name is Marc LaValliere. Would you like to dance, Mary?" The Asshole put forward his hand in expectation of leading her onto the dance floor.

After two or three long seconds, Mary said, "You will have to ask my husband."

The Asshole was not accustomed to being turned down and said, "What?"

Mary repeated herself. "If you want to dance with me you will have to get my husband's permission."

The Asshole was obviously not used to barriers like this being thrown up in front of him. He tried to recover his balance and turned to Bill who was sitting quietly with a bemused smile on his face while listening to the exchange between Mary and the Asshole.

With new confidence, the Asshole said, "I'm certain you wouldn't mind if I dance with you wife,"

Bill sounded like the lawyer he was and relied, "Is there a question in there somewhere?"

Now the Asshole, who was obviously getting annoyed that things were not going smoothly for him, said, "I would like your permission to dance with your pretty wife."

Bill answered him in no uncertain terms. "Fuck off, Asshole."

The Asshole stepped backward as if the force of Bill's words had pushed him. He looked down at Mary who was still smiling at him. "You heard my husband, fuck off."

As these exchanges were going on, many of the patrons at nearby tables heard the conversations and they began to snicker quietly.

The Asshole was not used to being embarrassed in public and his face was turning red. He thought he might be able to save the situation if he could get Wendy to dance with him, but as soon as he turned in her direction, he saw that she was waving her hand left and right in a gesture that said, "No, don't even ask." Behind her, Walt was shaking his head, "No, don't even think about it."

The Asshole finally concluded that he wasn't wanted at our table. He took a few steps backward toward the dance floor and then turned and walked back to his table. We watched from across the dance floor as he said something to his dinner party and then, without sitting down, left the building.

The six of us resumed our evening together. After a few more dances, the men were sitting on one side of the table and the ladies were on the other side. I was surprised and pleased to see that the women were actually getting along, despite the earlier dialogue about Linda's affair and my dalliances on the singles cruise. Both Mary and Wendy were very charming women and Linda was easily captivated by their friendliness.

Meanwhile, I talked to Walt at length about the 32-foot sloop he had in storage at a marina in Maryland. Walt had been a sailor in his younger days and his family, his wife and two sons, had enjoyed the sailing lifestyle for years. Walt had hoped that his sons would enjoy the boat as they became young adults, but after college, they both went their own ways and no longer had the desire to sail. Consequently, the boat went into storage where it has been for more than ten years.

Based on my experience at the marina in Fort Lauderdale, I knew that a boat like Walt and Wendy owned would be very popular as a rental to qualified sailors who wanted to sail the Caribbean. I had suggested the idea of a lease-back arrangement in which Will would lease his sloop to a company that rents out boats. The rental company would maintain the boat and any monies in excess of the rental fee and the maintenance would be paid back to Walt. Walt would still have to cover the insurance on his boat, but at the same time, he could depreciate it for tax purposes.

We made tentative plans to take the boat out of storage, inspect it, re-rig it with new sails and lines, hire a professional captain and sail it to Fort Lauderdale. I, of course, wanted to help crew the boat and so did Bill. Walt and Wendy stated that they wanted to be on that voyage too. We divided up the tasks we needed to do to get the project underway and then turned our attention back to the women.

After a few more dances and a last round of drinks, we said goodbye to each other. It was surreal to see Linda and Mary hug each other before we left the club.

The drive home included a lot silence and introspection followed by a conversation on a variety of topics.

"I can't believe I like the woman you slept with so much," Linda said.

She went on. "After sleeping with Roxy, Irene and Mary; I can't believe you didn't come home to me ready to continue with our marriage. After all, you had your revenge fucks. In fact, you had ten days of fucking three other women, compared to my one night with Marc."

I answered her. "I didn't do it for revenge. By the time I started that cruise, I had concluded that my marriage to you was dead. The woman I had married was gone. I owed no loyalty to the woman you became after the 29^th of February. I was a widower learning to live again.

"Further, you should know that those ladies were not Greek goddesses equivalent to the Asshole you fucked. They were normal, everyday, garden-variety women. However, I thought they were all beautiful. They gave me back my self-respect, the confidence I lost by being thrown away, the self-worth I had doubted. I re-learned not only that I was a very good lover and able to please a partner in bed, but that I could care for and have feelings for someone other than my late wife."

"Jim, you have to understand. Marc didn't take me away from you. He couldn't."

"If he didn't take you away from me, where the hell were you that night?"

"Well, okay, he took me away for the night, but I returned to you the next day. I'm here with you now, and I'll stay with you for the rest of my life."

"Yeah, you're here with me now because Asshole got what he wanted and now he's done with you."

"No, you're wrong. I'm here because I love you, because I'm your wife."

"Right. So, if Asshole had asked to dance with you tonight, where would you be right now?"

"I would not have accepted the invitation," she said.

"That's hard to believe, but tell me why you wouldn't have danced with the Asshole?" I asked.

"First of all," she stated, "if I had left with Marc tonight, whatever we did would have been anti-climactic to what happened on the 29^th. It would have tainted the memory of that night."

"So, you still value your night of sex with the Asshole as a memorable event even though it destroyed your marriage?"

"I don't believe it destroyed our marriage," Linda said. I know you're going through a difficult time, much more difficult than I ever envisioned, but I know you love me and I know we will get back to where we were.

"Also," she went on, "the night that I left you, I left like a thief in the night. I didn't face you, I couldn't. I told myself it was better for you the way I did it but, in fact, it was easier for me. I couldn't do that to you again."

"Then, what would you have done if he had held out his hand and asked you to dance?"

"I would have done what I should have done on the 29^th. I would have said what Mary said, what I should have said, 'You'll have to ask my husband for permission to dance with me.'"

"What would you have said if I had told Marc to ask for my husband's permission on the 29^th?"

I answered, "I would have said that my wife has promised all her dances to me that night, so fuck off, Asshole."

"And if he had asked me to dance tonight, what would you have said?"

"I would have said, 'I don't give shit.'"

"I don't believe you," Linda said.

"I told you when I came home that I didn't love you anymore, and I meant it. Whether or not you believe me is inconsequential."