February Sucks: Bitches Be Crazy

All characters are 18 years of age or older.

I would like to thank George Anderson for giving myself and all of us permission to take his "February Sucks" story and turn it into something of our own. A lot of us have taken our shot at it, so I figured why the hell not, LOL.

Any and all spelling or grammar mistakes are my own. If you don't like mistakes, boo hoo.

GA INSERT BEGINS HERE...

"Hey, isn't that Marc LaValliere?" Phil was craning around me to see.

"It is, it is!" Dee squealed excitedly. Marc LaValliere was the star tight end on our city's football team. Unlike many others on the team, he made his year-round home here. He had the reputation of being a genuinely good guy, and he was as well known for his community activities as for his exploits on the field. Marc became the main topic of conversation at our table, as the guys talked about his football feats and the women praised his good works and good nature.

"It doesn't hurt that he's a hunk, either" Dee put in. Linda and I both knew who he was, but we weren't very interested in anything besides each other just then. We let the conversation wash over us, holding hands under the table.

"Hey, you two, get a room!" Linda and I looked at each other. We hadn't even been kissing. Well, not really kissing, anyway. My feeding her wings (so she wouldn't get sauce on her new dress, of course) didn't count. Besides, we'd already gotten a room. We were saved from further embarrassment when the band started again.

"Shall we dance here, or upstairs?" I whispered to Linda. Before she could reply, Jane interrupted.

"Look! He's coming this way!" Sure enough, Marc LaValliere had left his table and was heading for ours. I was amused by the reaction of the women at our table. Four of them primped and strutted, all but saying "pick me, pick me!" If you think a woman can't strut while she's sitting down, you have a lot to learn. Linda looked downward and held my hand a little tighter.

"Hi, I'm Marc. Would you like to dance?" He was standing behind Linda's left shoulder, holding his hand out to her.

I felt Linda gasp as she dropped my hand as if it were a hot potato. I watched dumbstruck as she turned her back to me, gave Marc her right hand (it almost disappeared in his big paw) and gracefully rose from her chair.

"Hey, man, now my feelings are hurt. I thought she was just dancing with you tonight." Dave smiled as he needled me.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too," I groused.

"Relax, Jim. It's just a dance." Jane tried to soothe me. I tried to believe her, but I couldn't help having a bad feeling about this.

The band played a couple of fast songs, and our whole table watched them dance. So did everyone else in the room. Marc was good, far better than I was, and Linda was clearly enjoying herself. Her partner and her dress combined to show her off to perfection.

"Don't they look great together? Come on, Jim, let's join them," Dee invited, clearly trying to distract me.

"Thanks, but no."

The next song was a slow one. I watched Linda melt into his arms, fitting perfectly as though she belonged there. He was good at that, too. Lots of practice, I'll bet, I thought to myself sourly. Marc said something to Linda; she smiled sweetly as she responded. He wasn't doing anything I could legitimately object to. He didn't dance any closer to her than I danced with Dee or Jane; his hands didn't go anywhere they weren't supposed to.

Another slow song, a ballad this time. I could see the band leader watching my wife and her partner, taking his cues from them. Marc was smiling as he held Linda in his arms; he was clearly pleased with whatever was going on. I'd seen enough. I rose from my chair and felt Jane's hand on my arm.

"Wait, Jim. Let her have this. Don't ruin it for her."

I jerked my arm free, and then I looked at Linda's face. She clearly wanted to be exactly where she was, and nowhere else. She did not want any interference from me. I slumped back into my chair. Finally, the song ended. Marc nodded at the band leader, who started a faster song. He and Linda left the dance floor, smiling at each other, but not touching, not even holding hands. Linda gave him a last brilliant smile as she turned toward our table and Marc turned toward his.

The difference between a woman's best smile and her second-best smile isn't much. Unless you know the woman well, you probably wouldn't notice it at all. As Linda neared our table and our eyes met, her best smile faded to her second best. I knew then that we had a problem.

"I keep telling you that you're the most attractive woman in here," I whispered in her ear as I seated her. I reached for her hand and held it in both of mine. "Is it time to take the next dance back to our room?"

For just the tiniest moment, I could have sworn Linda was afraid. Her eyes widened and I could feel her hand trembling. She covered the moment quickly, though, and looked away from me, across the table.

"I'm sorry, everyone, I just have to go to the restroom right now. Linda, come with me?" Dee's voice could be heard far beyond our table. I was too preoccupied to wonder why she had to broadcast this to the room at large. Linda looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry, Jim. I can use some freshening up, too." She rose and left, without answering my question. Of course, the conversation immediately turned to why no woman who is out with a group can possibly go to the restroom by herself. I had just started to wonder why my friends were working so hard to keep the conversation going on that topic, when Dee came back. Alone.

"Where's Linda? Is she okay?" I practically shouted.

"Relax, Jim," Dee said, smiling. "Linda is fine, she just has something to do. You don't need to worry about her. She is a grownup woman, you know." Upon which my friends started teasing me about how much I worried about Linda. It's true, I did; she worried about me the same way. I put up with it for about five minutes, and when Linda still hadn't returned, I'd had enough. I got up and headed for the bar, taking an empty plate with me as an excuse. I approached one of the female bartenders.

"Excuse me, but my wife went to the restroom about fifteen minutes ago and hasn't come out. She never takes that long. Could you please go, or send someone, to be sure she's alright?"

The bartender gave me a dubious look. The plate in my hand gave me an idea.

"The wings are great, and she likes spicy food, but every now and then she gets a reaction. Really, I just want to know if she's all right. Her name is Linda. Here, let me show you a picture of her." I put down the plate and pulled up Linda's picture on my phone. The bartender was beginning to look somewhat sympathetic when there was a voice at my elbow.

"She's all right, you don't need to check on her." Dee was addressing the bartender. "Everything's fine. I'll take care of this." She placed a five on the counter. I wondered why the bartender looked at me with what seemed like sympathy as she pocketed the bill.

"What... why... but she went there with you? because you asked her?" I was completely confused.

"Jim, she's not in the restroom. She has left the club."

"Left? Without me? Why? What's the matter? Why didn't she tell me? Where did she go? Is she all right?" I still didn't get it.

"Let's go to the end of the bar where there's some privacy." I just went where Dee dragged me. It was quieter in the dark corner at the end of the bar. Dee looked me in the eye.

"Jim, Linda loves you. She loves you and the children more than anything else in the world, and she always will, and you know it. But she is spending tonight with Marc."

I stood there with my mouth open, looking stupid as my world ended. Pictures whirled madly through my mind, or what was left of it. Linda at the top of the stairs in her beautiful blue dress. Linda at dinner; Linda at the club; Linda as we fed wings to each other. Linda in Asshole's arms. My anger rose.

"So, on what was supposed to be our special night, she left me for some asshole jock." I glared at Dee as I growled at the words.

"Jim, she hasn't left you. She'll come home to you tomorrow, and you'll have plenty of other special nights together."

"She didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face that she was leaving me. She just snuck out the back door."

"Jim, listen to me. She hasn't left you..."

"Well, if she hasn't left me, then where the hell is she? She sure isn't with me now, is she?" I was getting loud and didn't care who heard me.

"Please settle down, people are looking at you. Listen, I know this hurts for you, but it's just tonight. Linda knows, we all know, that you're the only man for her and you always will be. You're the good guy."

"Yeah, and we all know where the good guy finishes, don't we?"

"Jim, it isn't like that. You're making way too big a deal out of this. It's only tonight, then she'll come back to you tomorrow and everything will be just like it was before." I snorted at her. If she really believed that shit, nothing I could say would make any difference anyway.

"So, Friend, what was your role in all this? You didn't really need to go to the restroom, did you? My wife gave you the signal, right? She told you to stall me and keep me out of the way long enough for her and Asshole to make their getaway?"

"Yes, she asked me to do that, because she didn't want you to embarrass yourself by making a scene while Marc was here. She also asked me to make sure you remembered that she loves you, and she will always come home to you."

Yeah, I'd remember exactly how much she loved me tonight, for a long time to come. "More like she didn't want me to embarrass her as she walked away from her husband to spend the night with an asshole jock. I don't suppose it occurred to you, Friend, to remind her that she had a husband and a marriage, and she might lose them over this?"

Dee looked me in the eye. "No, it didn't, because I know she won't lose you over this. You're too good a man to let that happen. I told her how lucky she is. She's lucky because the man that every woman in the room wanted, wanted her; but she's even luckier that she has a husband who loves her enough to get past his hurt feelings and not make this a bigger deal than it should be. You know she'll be willing to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to make it up to you."

"What if it isn't possible to make it up to me? What if there is no way to make this right?"

"Jim, I know how much you love Linda, and how much she loves you. This doesn't have to be a big deal. It's just one night, a one-time experience, compared to all the years and all the love you two have together. It isn't a big deal, unless you make it one. I know she'll come home to you, and I know eventually, you'll be fine." Dee spoke gently but confidently. It was all I could do not to grab the stupid woman and shake her until her teeth rattled for spouting such nonsense. She must be living in some sort of alternate universe if that's what she really thought.

"So, if Asshole had picked you, as you wanted him to, you'd have done the same thing?"

"I would." She flung her answer into my face.

"Does Dave know that?"

"No, and he doesn't need to, because I don't think it will ever happen," she said softly.

"Maybe I should tell him."

"Jim, please don't. Don't think that way. I know you're hurting, but that won't help. Please come back to the table. Let us take your mind off it for a while. You haven't danced a single dance with me all night, you know." she smiled invitingly at me.

"I wanted to dance with my wife, but thanks to you and her and asshole, that doesn't seem to be an option, now does it?" I turned my back on Dee and stalked back to our table.

The talk at the table stopped abruptly when I appeared. The averted eyes told the tale: all of our friends now knew that my wife and Asshole were at that very moment making a cuckold of me.

"Uh, Jim, are you going to be okay?" Dave asked hesitantly after he seated Dee. I wanted to tell him what Dee had said and ask if he would be okay, but I couldn't force the words past my throat. I guess I hadn't gotten over being the good guy yet. I would have to work on that.

"It depends on what you mean by okay." There were a couple of nervous giggles.

"I mean, yeah, that was a shitty thing to do, but you two are going to make it, aren't you? You're not going to divorce Linda over this, are you?"

"I don't see why I shouldn't," I responded coldly. There was a gasp around the table.

"Why are you all acting surprised?" I continued. "We all know how we feel about cheating: once and done. We established that long ago."

"But Jim, it's Marc LaValliere..." Dee interposed.

"So what? I don't care who's fucking her. If it isn't me, that's that."

"Jim, what about your kids? We all know how much you love them, and how much they need you. Think of them before you do anything." Jane's kids were about the same age as mine and were best buds.

"You mean, like my wife is thinking about them right now?"

"Well, that's why you got a sitter, so you wouldn't have to think about your kids." I think Dee meant it to be funny. It fell as flat as it deserved to. "Come on, Jim, it's just one night. It's an opportunity she'll never have again. You wouldn't divorce Linda over one night."

"Why not?" I glared at her. An uncomfortable silence followed.

"Jim, try to think of it this way, maybe it will help." Jane was trying to sound sympathetic. "What if the cover model from the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue was here tonight? Say she picked you out of everyone here to dance with, and then she offered to spend the night with you. Can you honestly say you wouldn't be tempted? Can you honestly say you would turn her down?" The pleading look in Jane's warm brown eyes made her look like a particularly winsome puppy dog, and was usually quite effective in getting her what she wanted. Not tonight.

I stood and looked down at Jane. "Yes, I would be tempted, but I would turn her down. You see, I have a wife, and I don't want to hurt her. At least, that's what I'd have done before tonight."

There was another one of those deafening silences. I looked around the table at each of my former friends, all of whom were siding with my cheating wife. At that moment, I sincerely hoped never to see any of them again. I pulled out a twenty and dropped it on the table. "That will pay my tab. You're all covering for the slut I came with; you might as well cover her bill, too."

MY PART STARTS HERE...

"I better never see or hear from any of you cunts again." I said to my now former friends as I walked toward the entrance.

I went up to the hotel room and packed our belongings back up and went to lobby to checkout. The young lady at the desk asked me if everything was OK with the room. I told her that the room was fine, just that my wife had left me at the club to go fuck Marc LaValliere. She took a deep breath and apologized. She refunded my money and wished me luck.

I drove home in a crying rage. Tears of sadness and anger streamed down my face. I pulled into the garage and went inside. The place felt completely empty now. Void of love and family. I sat down at the kitchen table and called Mrs. Porter. She answered the phone asking what was wrong. I told her everything that happened and asked her if she'd keep the kids until I could come get them. She said she would and that she had some phone calls to make.

I started packing all of Linda's stuff into her suitcases and garbage bags. It took me an hour to get everything thrown together and I set it all in the driveway, right in the snow. I called her parents and woke them up. When I told her father what she had done, he didn't believe me. I told him that if her shit was still in the driveway when I wake up; I was going to light it on fire, and she'd have nothing. Then I hung up the phone.

I went to the garage and changed the code to the door. I locked and chained both the front and back doors. I changed into some sweatpants and went to bed. It took me a bit to fall asleep but once I did, I was out like a light.

I woke up to my alarm blaring at 8AM. I got out of bed, threw on a shirt and looked out my bedroom window. Linda's stuff was still sitting in my driveway. I went downstairs and started my cup of coffee. I threw on a pair of shoes and walked into my garage. I found the lighter fluid that I used when I grilled and grabbed the long lighter. I opened the garage door and started towards the pile.

I heard a screech of tires. I looked up and saw Linda's fathers' truck and Dave's truck as well. I started spraying Linda's shit with the lighter fluid when their trucks came to a stop. I ran over and sprayed Dave's truck as well. He put it in reverse while Linda's father got out of his truck. He was begging me to calm down and not do anything stupid.

"I told you to come get her shit last night so shut the fuck up Tom." I said and lit it on fire.

I turned and walked back into the garage and closed it up. I could smell the fresh coffee. I poured it into my thermos and walked upstairs. I had just gotten my socks on when I heard sirens. I put my shoes back on, grabbed my coat, and went back to my garage. I got one of my foldable lawn chairs, my Louisville Slugger, and opened the door.

Dave and Tom were standing together on the street, and both were on their phones. I unfolded my chair, sat down and took a drink of my coffee. A minute or two later a police car showed up. Tom and Dave walked over to the car while the officer got out. As they were talking to him, I saw him talking into his radio. He walked away from Dave and Tom and started towards me. I waved at him, took the lid off my thermos and poured a little bit of coffee into it.

I stood up and held the lid out for him.

"Thank you." he said as he grabbed it and took a sip. "You want to tell me what's going on here sir."

"Well officer, I thought I'd help the sun get rid of some of this snow. It's such a pain in the ass to drive in." I replied taking a sip out of my thermos.

The officer chuckled and said,

"Look sir, your father-in-law and friend."

"He's not my fucking friend officer." I answered harshly.

"OK. Your father-in-law and former friend told me what happened. I don't blame you for being mad and you have every right to be pissed off, but I can't have you starting fires in the street."

It was then that the fire truck pulled up on the scene.

"It's not on the street officer, it's on my private property and they're not allowed to put it out." I said, pointing to the truck.

I started walking towards the fire truck as they firemen started unraveling the hose. I heard the officer walking behind me.

"Sir they have to put it out, it's a public and utility hazard."

"No, it's not. This is last house on a dead-end street and the utility pole is over there, it's nowhere near it." I replied standing right in front of the fire.

Suddenly a scream was heard. I looked up and saw Linda running towards us. Tom intercepted Linda and was holding her back. The officer and I were just staring at her.

"It was only one night!" Linda screamed at us while crying and struggling against her father.

Between Tom and Dave, they got Linda into Toms' truck while the officer and I just watched. A fireman then walked up to us as we stood there.

"What's going on here Frank?" he said to the officer as they shook hands.

"Domestic dispute Larry. Wife cheated on the husband, so he lit her belongings on fire."

"You do not have permission to put it out Larry." I said, interjecting myself into their conversation.

Larry looked at me then looked around for a minute. He walked over to the two men that were spraying the fire said something and both of them shut the hoses off.