February Sucks - Luck

I called the kids every day and told them I was working on the house. Linda kept asking to talk, but I kept telling her I was not in the mood to hear what she had to say.

I called Samantha after a few days to just hear her voice and maybe a chance to spend more time with her.

"I thought you had forgotten about me."

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"You going to invite me out on a date?"

"Nope."

"Quit teasing me."

"Nope, I really am not going to ask you out on a date. I was thinking more of a weekend getaway, just you and me."

"REALLY?"

"Yes."

"Where too?"

"The Bahamas sound nice. Can you get away this weekend? Fly out Thursday and come back Tuesday?"

"YES, YES, YES!!!"

"Just bring your phone and your passport. We will buy everything we need there."

After telling each other how much fun we were going to have, I had to let her go so I could get the plane fare and hotel lodgings booked. Last minute to Bahamas was not cheap. But, what the hell, if Linda divorced me, she would get half of our savings and my salary for child support. I smiled when I realized it was as if Linda was paying for Samantha's half.

I moved our savings account into a bank account that I opened only in my name. I also changed my paycheck to be deposited into the account. I didn't think Linda would cancel the credit card, but just in case, I wanted to have access to money.

I worked sixteen-hour days to get all the walls in place, just not finished on my side. I was able to get the center wall finished and painted on Linda's side on Wednesday. I knew I would have to get the power, gas, and water separated from Linda's side later. But, since Linda's side was using the same gas and electricity, Linda could not disconnect my side.

On Wednesday night, I told Linda to bring the kids home in the morning. Thursday morning, I locked up my side of the house and sat in a chair out front waiting for them to arrive. When they arrived and got out of the car, they all stood stupefied on the front lawn.

The first to speak was Emma, "Dad, what did you do?"

"I turned our house into a duplex. Don't you like it?" All three turned to look at me like I was an idiot. They stood there with their mouths hanging open.

"Don't worry guys, I finished the right side and moved your stuff into your new rooms."

I showed the kids around the left side of the 'new' house, while I had Linda put the kid's bags into their rooms. They were gob smacked. Our short tour ended up with all of us in the living room on the right side of the house.

Tommy, "But dad, the living room is much smaller."

"Don't worry guys, you will never notice the difference. In fact, I have to get a garage installed on the other side of the house and when I do, I am going to have a pool with a jacuzzi installed." That got smiles from the kids.

Linda told the kids to unpack their bags. She gave me the look that she wanted to talk to me, but I followed the kids helping them to put away their stuff and make sure they had what they needed.

After they put their stuff away, I pulled out some sandwiches I had bought from the local deli, and we ate lunch at the kitchen table.

Emma asked me, "What brought this on dad?" but she was mostly watching Linda's reaction. Having spent the last few days with Linda, Emma and Tommy obviously knew something was wrong and that their mom had been avoiding their questions.

"Oh, we are getting closer to becoming empty nesters. I realized things were not going to stay the same forever. Just getting ready is all."

"Gee dad, you could have at least discussed it with us first to see how we felt about it."

"Well actually it was your mom's idea. She said that she had decided that we needed a change, and she needed something different." With a smirk on my face, I stared at Linda. Linda looked astonished.

"Mom, why would you make such a huge decision and not discuss it with us?" asked Emma.

Tommy, "Yeah, Mom. Don't you care what we think?"

Linda looking uncomfortable, "It was just a miscommunication. Your dad just misunderstood how I felt."

"I don't know honey, you made your intentions very clear at the time. In fact, once I saw you fully commit to your decision, I knew there was no going back."

Linda looked like she was going to cry and left the room. Tommy asked, "What's up with mom lately, she's been crying over everything." I shrugged my shoulders and told them they should ask her.

Before Emma could ask another question, I told them I had a trip out of town planned and I would be back in a few days. I told them I would not be reachable during my trip, but that I would call them every night. I gave them kisses on their heads and quickly headed out the door. I wondered if they noticed that I didn't say goodbye to their mom who was still in the bedroom.

I picked up Samantha from her apartment and we headed off. It was one the best times of my life. We flew first class, stayed in a five-star resort, and were pampered like royalty. A weekend of fun, sun, sand, waves, food and drinks. And even better, Samantha was very appreciative and tried constantly to show how much she enjoyed being with me. By time we left, we both had all over tans, and I knew every inch of Samantha's fantastic body.

On Tuesday, I dropped Samantha off at her apartment. Samantha gave me a very passionate kiss at her front door.

"Do you want to spend one more night with me?"

"Yes, I would, but I have to face the music sometime, and you have class tomorrow."

"Call me at bedtime. I need to hear your voice before I go to sleep."

I gave her one last kiss and said, "I would love that."

I drove home smiling to myself. Samantha had told me on the last night that she 'could see herself falling for a guy like me.'

As I drove down the street to my house, I could see Linda's car was in her driveway. I parked on the road in front of my side of the house, wanting to avoid dealing with Linda. While I was unpacking, Linda knocked on my front door.

"Your back."

"Yes I am."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"Can I come in?"

"No. You are not allowed on my side. To be clear, this is my personal living space, and you are not welcome on this side. Ever." Linda, visibly shaken, stared at me for a moment before turning to go back to her side. The reality that I was not going to be living on her side of the duplex just became real.

We both sat at her kitchen table. "Jim, I love you and want things back the way they were."

"Not going to happen."

"Why not."

"Because, if you had not noticed, you did things that permanently changed what I think of you."

"It doesn't have to be this way."

"Actually, it does. There is no undoing what you did and how I feel about it."

"But I love you."

I collected my thoughts. "Let's say we were out on a date, as a couple, with our friends. You walked away from me and left with another man and spent all night and the next morning fucking him. If you'd done that on our first date, would there have been a second one?"

"But Jim, it was Marc..."

"I don't care who it was. You chose someone else over me."

"Jim, I keep trying to tell you, I didn't choose Marc over you."

"So, you didn't CHOOSE to sneak out the back of the club? You didn't CHOOSE to fuck Marc LaValliere?"

"It was just one night!"

"You had your whole life to show me how much you love me. The moment someone more famous talked to you, I became leftovers. Does this mean I have to keep you away from all famous athletes? Famous actors? Famous politicians? You know there is a marathon this weekend, are you going to fuck the winner?"

"Jim that's not fair."

In a quiet even tone I said, "So, there it is. You now want ME to be fair. You want a fair chance to minimize your betrayal. A fair chance to talk me out of my anger over what you did. A fair chance to shame me for feeling betrayed. A fair chance to guilt me for not putting our family ahead of my own pain. Seems I am the only one expected to be fair in this relationship." I reached across the table and held her hand. She smiled and held my hand in both of her hands.

I looked deep into Linda's eyes, knowing this was going to hurt her. Linda needed to know exactly how our new relationship was going to be going forward. And yes, I was also excited about getting a chance to let her see how it feels.

"Too late Linda."

"Too late?"

"Yes. Too late. I have found someone else."

"No!" Linda jerked her hands away from my hand as if my hand was on fire.

"You know who it is. I'm sure Dee and your friends told you who I was with that night after you left. The redhead who I danced with. The one who held me tightly while we danced. The woman who replaced you on the anniversary you threw away."

As the words 'replaced you' and 'threw away' sank in, I looked into Linda's eyes and saw sadness. I realized Dee must have sent Linda pictures of Samantha and I dancing slow together, looking like lovers.

With simmering anger in her voice Linda said, "Are you doing this to get back at me? Throwing some twenty-four-year-old in my face to get even?"

"Twenty-one actually. I spent the last four days with her down in the Bahamas. You know that dream vacation you and I always wanted to go on? It was spectacular." I knew I had a big smile on my face as I said it, but I couldn't help myself. The weekend really had been spectacular.

Linda stared hard at me after I finished speaking. I could see my words made her very angry. I knew the smirk on my face, that I was left with, added to her anger. I reminded myself of the kids and after taking a deep breath, I forcefully relaxed my face so my smirk would disappear. With a heated look in her eyes that I knew was going to be followed by some soul incinerating condemnation, Linda opened her mouth and pointed her finger at me. But when she saw my smirk reappear, she realized, I knew every word she was about to say. Linda froze. She then slowly exhaled, closed her mouth and dropped her hand to the table. A feat I had never witnessed before. We sat quietly staring at each other.

I knew Linda wanted to yell at me, to burn my ass, to put me in my place over what I had done. But she realized she had zero moral high ground left to stand on. The leverage she had been accustomed too in our relationship, relied on love and trust. The very love and trust that she had casually erased, for one night of sex.

It was finally dawning on Linda that what she had done was costing her more than she had imagined. I'm sure that night, when Linda was deciding to sleep with Marc, she thought she was just cashing in a few chips from our years together. She was finally getting an inkling that she had stupidly bet it all.

Linda sat quietly for a moment staring at her hands folded together on the table. "It doesn't matter, I still love you."

"Yes, you keep saying that Linda like your love means something special. Why would you consider your love to be important to me after what you did? It's quite obvious my love for you means nothing to you, so why should I cherish your love?"

"But I don't want to lose you."

"Well, I don't understand why you thought you could absolutely destroy my trust in you and expect to keep me. You took me for granted and now you don't deserve me."

Linda looked bewildered.

"I am going home. I have plenty of work left to do on the house. I will come back over to eat dinner with you and the kids. Please do not bother me until then." I got up and went back to my apartment.

Linda was crying when I left. Walking away from Linda was horribly painful. In my heart, I wanted to hold her and be like we were before. But in my mind, I knew that there was no going back to what we were. The Linda that I thought of as my wife, did not, and would never exist again. All I would ever have with her, would be a painful reminder of all we could have had, all that she had casually destroyed without a thought or ounce of guilt.

Before dinner, the kids and I went over to my side of the house to look around. I showed them the new kitchen area and how I was going to knock out the back wall and make it all glass to overlook the new pool. They looked concerned as they stared at the fence splitting the back yard in half. They realized that this side would be dad's side.

I then showed them where their new rooms would be on my side of the house.

"Why do I need two bedrooms in the house dad?" asked Tommy.

"Because, this side will be my house, and that side will be your mother's house."

Emma, "Are you and mom getting divorced dad? Mom won't say anything whenever we ask."

"Nope, just separated. I don't want to be a weekend dad, so I thought I would just split the house and you two can live on whichever side you feel like that day."

Before we could go any further, Linda stuck her head in the front door to announce dinner was ready.

We ate in silence. Linda was tense. She could tell that the kids had learned more about what was going on.

Tommy blurted out too loudly. "I'm living on Dad's side as soon as he finishes my room." Linda had a shocked look on her face. "Dad said you are separating?"

"We are not. This is just a misunderstanding, and we haven't finished discussing it yet."

Emma slapped her hand on the table and shouted, "WHO CHEATED? I WANT TO KNOW!" Emma and Tommy looked back and forth between Linda and me. I stared at Linda. Linda stared at her plate.

When Linda began crying. The kids got their answer. I told the kids their mom was tired and needed some rest. I helped Linda up and walked her down to her bedroom, undressed her, and put her to bed. I gave her a quick kiss on her forehead like she was a small child that had woke up from a nightmare. I turned off the light and closed her door.

I focused on feeling for Linda as I would for one of my children. A grown-up child that had had committed a heinous crime and had been sentenced to prison for the rest of their life. I would still love my child, but they would no longer be part of my daily life or thoughts.

I first went to Tommy's room. He was laying on his bed texting his friends. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He said, "No, not really." I gave him a fist bump and went to Emma's room.

Emma was angry crying. "Why did she do it dad?"

"You will have to ask her."

"Can't you just forgive her?"

"Then I would never be able to forgive myself."

Emma sighed. "I know, but I want us to stay together as a family."

"We are pumpkin. I just won't be sleeping in the same room as your mother anymore."

I gave Emma a hug. We told each other we loved each other, and I went back to my side of the house.

This became our new norm. I had always left for work before the kids got up, so our morning activity did not change. Linda and I still split our time chauffeuring the kids to their friend's houses, band and sports. We still had our normal family dinner together, when we could, on Linda's side of the house. Linda tried to talk to me about once a week about us, but I shut her down saying I did not want to discuss it.

The other obvious change was school functions. I never stood or sat near Linda during our children's school events. If Linda sidled up to me, I would immediately excuse myself and go to the restroom. When I returned, I would sit or stand somewhere else. I was never alone very long, as at least one of the single or divorced women we knew, would quickly be near my side. And yes, they always asked, and my answer was, "Separated."

During the next month, I bought new clothes, new appliances, new kitchen cabinets, and new furniture for my side. My side became a slick new bachelor pad with a giant TV and a new entertainment system. When I bought a new top end convertible, Linda tried to question me about our finances.

"Jim, can we afford all these things? That car must have cost a fortune."

"Well Linda, my car was eight years older than yours, and I needed a new one. You have always bought a new car twice as often as me, so I just put a few of those missed years into my new car. As for the all the other new stuff, you really didn't expect for me to live in a hovel, did you? And the furniture? I thought I was being considerate by not making you give up any of the beloved furniture you bought to decorate your house."

"I would have been happy to share our furniture."

"That's all right, I never cared for your taste in furniture."

"You never said anything before?"

"I never said anything before because I wanted you to be happy and it wasn't a big deal to me." I let her reflect on that statement for a few moments. "Don't worry, we have plenty of money. In fact, the house is paid off and once the kids move out, my side will be too big for my needs. I'll rent out my side of the house for additional income, so money will not be a problem."

Linda gave me her best smile, her 'someone is going to get lucky tonight' smile and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "I'm not complaining, I like your new car. You've been working out and you look sexy in your new clothes."

"Thanks. I can't take all the credit, Tommy and Emma wanted me to get the convertible so they could drive it, and Samantha helped me pick out my new clothes and furniture. We have very similar tastes."

Linda's smile disappeared at the mention of Samantha and her hand dropped from my shoulder. "Oh, I was just wondering." Linda then turned and walked away.

I didn't try to throw Samantha in Linda's face, but Samantha was becoming a big part of my life. I also realized that I was now thinking of Samantha quite often and very little of Linda's feelings.

Samantha started becoming a regular on my side of the house. At that point Tommy and Emma started spending most of their time on my side. Tommy had already moved to my side as his main bedroom. Emma who had been staying mostly on Linda's side, began hanging out with Samantha more and more. Samantha seemed to become Emma's 'cool' older sister.

Samantha soon began spending every weekend and most weeknights at my place. The only disagreement that Linda made was when I insisted that Samantha come with me to our family dinner, a second time. Linda was courteous, but everyone could tell she did not want this to become a regular thing.

The next day Linda confronted me as I was leaving for work. "Jim, I appreciate that you are socializing, but I would like for you not to bring your girlfriend over during our dinner time. That is our time to be a family with the kids."

"That's fine. In the future, I won't be coming to dinner when Samantha is over. But I will also have an open invitation to the kids to eat with me and Samantha, if they choose to."

"That's not fair Jim. That is the only time we can be together as a family."

"So, were doing the 'fair' thing again Linda? All right to be fair, Samantha is becoming a large part of my life and I want her to be included more. Samantha and the kids get along great. I don't think excluding Samantha from our family dinners is fair to her, fair to me, or fair to the kids. If you want to exclude her, you're going to be excluding me as well."

"But Jim..."

"Linda, your 'fair' has always been you getting your way, screw how I feel. I bet you thought you were being 'fair' when you snuck out that back door to go fuck Marc LaValliere."

Even though we were no longer living together, it was amazing to see how easily Linda thought she could still manipulate me. Linda thought she still had leverage over me beyond the kid's welfare.

'Linda, you threw 'fair' out the window that night. So, if you don't like it, the 'fair' thing would be to start having all the dinners on my side and I'll let you visit when we have them. Samantha is an excellent cook and loves to do it."

Teary eyed, Linda said, "I'm sorry I brought it up. Samantha is more than welcome any time she wishes to come to dinner."