Fever Dream Pt. 03

The thought quickly spread throughout her thoughts, her life. She had kept a tight control on quite literally everything in her life; School, work, money, her family, her son, her spending, her emotions. The thought of it made her suddenly sick, and the ember within her core suddenly ignited into combustion. She drove towards the east end of the city towards home, and the flame was a crackling fire, simmering from within. She passed more of the city now, and the fire began to rage, igniting her body now. Suddenly the image of that night was all she could think about. The way he had grabbed her. The way he had torn her shirt. The fierce way his eyes bored into hers. The passion within his kiss and the command behind it. The control he had wielded over her suddenly, and within a few seconds the very word control had become like the most sacrilegious cuss she could think of. She was offended by it, sickened by its existence. She was so sick and tired of control, of measure. As she came to this train of thought a car dealership suddenly came to her attention from her peripheral view on her left. She almost instantly slowed, turning to what was in fact a gallery of expensive luxury and performance cars, some spinning on a dais in an almost entirely glass structure. She suddenly pulled in and parked in the almost empty lot beside it.

She turned off the car and sat for a few moments. She was looking around her in the BMW she drove. It was quite nice, but it was too...something. Too timid, too mild...too measured. That was the word that did it for her. She was suddenly out of the car and slamming the door like it had burned her terribly to sit in it any longer. She fumed in anger at it, barely resisting the urge to start kicking it when she noticed a young man in a grey suit approaching her with the trademark smile of a salesperson. Normally she hated salespeople. She was self-assured enough to already know what she wanted before ever stepping foot into any store, and never needed, or wanted help from anyone inside. But today, she was not only glad to see him, but happy to have help with her entirely unplanned stop.

"Hello, miss. That's a beautiful SUV you have there. I love the new shade of metallic green they put on that modal this year. Is there anything I can help you find for it today? We have a great selection of accessories for the newer models, and anything we don't have, we can definitely special order it for you and install it faster than anyone around."

He said all of this as if he had spent weeks rehearsing it from a script, without sounding at all rehearsed. Normally she would have been annoyed, but at this moment she felt like being...flirty.

"Actually, I do need your help...but I'm afraid it's not with this car..." she started, giving the young man a demure smile, adjusting her body language accordingly. "I don't want to see this car again, after this afternoon actually. I want to trade it in for something more...fun," she said, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. Its effect was almost instantaneous, and she suddenly felt a thrill shoot through her as the young man began the journey to being putty in her hands.

"Absolutely, miss. Anything you like. Do you have a price range and a particular make, or model in mind?" He asked, his friendliness increasing by the second.

"Oh, money is no object. In fact...take me to where you keep your fastest and most expensive cars...and I do mean the most expensive,' she said, playful pretense gone and a fierce look returning to her gaze. The change was not lost on the young man.

"Miss, that will be...very, very expensive." He said, a hint of confusion coloring his brow.

"Do you see the street sign out there?" she asked pointing to the sign across the street from where they stood. "Can you read what it says?" she asked, her eyebrow cocked.

"Yes, we are on Carter street, miss." He answered plainly.

"...and do you see that building out there, the tallest one, with the names on it, one covered at the bottom?" she asked, turning them 45 degrees towards the distant center of the vast city.

"...yes." He answered, again confused.

"It says Carter as well," She answered. "And the name of city hall?" she asked.

"Carter Hall?" he asked.

"Now, here," she said, taking her pocketbook out of her purse, and snatching two cards out of it before replacing it back where it came from, handing one of them to the young man.

It took him only seconds to understand, his eyes bulging, his rehearsed composure gone, then hurriedly thrust the card back to her.

"Miss Carter, I am so sorry. I had no idea. Please...right this way." he motioned with a hand towards the glass double doors of the dealership.

They walked in, the young man walking in front of her in a hurried pace, stopping momentarily to address her again.

"Please allow me a moment, we have a very nice lounge over there to your right. Can I get you anything? Water, tea, coffee? We can order any food, anything at all that you'd like." He offered. She appreciated the effort, but she didn't plan on being here very long.

"No thank you, ill just...wait over there by the water fountain for you." She said, smiling at him.

He practically speed walked towards a hallway filled with offices. As she waited, she looked around at her surroundings. It was quite grand, as far as automobile dealerships go, she thought. There was a marble fountain, bubbling clear water in jets, with a comfortable looking sitting area which the young man gestured to moments ago. All around, there were beautiful cars, some jet black, spinning on their dais, red sports cars strewn at acute angles, and a rather blocky looking Mercedes she noticed. It was too bulky. She wasn't here for utility, or necessarily comfort. She was here for extravagance and speed. It was barely 3 minutes before a tall, portly man in an exquisite suit made a direct line for her, the young man from before tailing close behind, both looking just a tad on the anxious side, which caused the corners of her mouth to tick up slightly, in spite of herself.

"Miss Carter, it is a pleasure to have you in our establishment. Please tell us exactly what you want, and we will do everything in our power to make it happen. Anything at all." He said, flashing her a surprisingly handsome smile for his rather round husky appearance. She knew this song and dance, however, and she didn't particularly want to deprive the young man behind him of the commission coming to him, especially because it was bound to be a large one.

"Thank you for your hospitality. If it's quite alright though, I'd like to conduct my business with the gentleman who brought me in. He has been very helpful, and I already feel very comfortable with him guiding me through it all." She said, her voice suddenly all business, yet still pleasant. It was the voice she used to get things done. It caught him of guard, but like a professional with his obvious years in the business, he recovered in less than a second.

"Of course. He is fairly new here but I've no doubt he will help you to the best of his ability. But if you have any questions or issues at all, please feel free to come straight to my office and I will make sure it is handled," He said, with a short yet intimidating look at the young man, he was off.

"Thank you, Miss Carter, for that. We've uhh...never had a customer like you in here before. I mean, a customer that-"

"That everything in the city is named after, you mean?"

"Yes, that." He said, laughing openly. It was an attractive, unguarded laugh and it put her fully at ease.

"Now, there are a number of vehicles we can show you, depending on what you have your mind set on, there is..." he was saying, but her eye caught an absolutely gorgeous car, the color of a deep, rich red wine, wheels gleaming in the sunlight, the shape more akin to an apex predator than an automobile, sitting in a corner of the gallery and it distracted her completely. It was the...sexiest? Yes, sexiest car she had ever seen.

"What is that?" she asked, her mouth half open, eyes transfixed entirely on it.

"Oh, wow. You have a sharp eye. That is the new Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato."

"Such a beautiful name..." she whispered, not to anyone in particular as her body, of its own design, began walking towards it.

"Well, it's a beautiful car. It has a V12 engine in it, top speed is..." he started, rattling off technical specifications most likely memorized right out of the catalog. She didn't hear him. She didn't care. This was it. This was her new car. She could already feel the power in her hands through the steering column, the speed in her foot, imagine her hair whipping around her face as she drove at the speed of sound on the long, rural highway towards her parent's property, the feeling of absolute freedom coursing through her. She was at the car now, her hands resting on the door, looking at the stunning cream leather interior, the trimmings a juxtaposition of carbon fiber and rich earth tones.

"...Miss Carter?" he said, clearly just noticing that she hadn't hear a word he'd said.

"What?! Oh...uhh...This one. I want this one. Not one like it, this very one."

"Miss...this is a lot of car..." he began, but she whipped her head to face him, her face hard, and it brought him up short.

"...of course, Miss Carter. If you'll follow me over this way, we can get the paperwork started on the financing."

"That won't be necessary." She said, reaching back into her pocketbook for her black card.

"Miss, this car is over-" he began, but suddenly he was holding her black card, and he instantly understood that this woman had money. A lot of it.

"I'll be in the lounge...and if you can get the title paperwork and such together and ready for me to sign in less than 20 minutes, ill double your commission," She said simply, and with all decorum gone, he practically sprinted towards the back offices.

He was back in 15 minutes, and she signed everything. It took only 10 minutes for additional people to get the car to the front parking lot and the keys into her hand. As she was about to get in the car, she suddenly remembered her BMW sitting parked 5 spaces down.

"Damn! I meant to trade that in. I don't suppose you have nighttime security people here, after closing, do you?" she asked the young man.

"Absolutely we do. In fact, we have a contract with the local police department. They send us a patrol car that just basically sits here all night until sun up," he answered.

"Could I just leave that here then, until I send someone to pick it up?" she asked, pointing to it.

"Absolutely, Miss Carter. Anything for you." He said, his voice full of genuine appreciation. His commission still running his mind in circles of excitement.

"Thanks. You're a darling." She said and gave him a teasing wink and a wide grin. She put the key in, turned it, and the engine roared to life sending chills up her spine.

Just like she imagined the rumble of the engine ran through the car, into her hands and through her entire body, but not in an overly loud or vibrating way. It was ferocity restrained by clockwork design and engineering. It would roar and scream, but only the moment she pressed the pedal down; which she did and it didn't disappoint. It sent a fresh thrill through her, causing her to turn to the young man, who was staring at her, grinning from ear to ear. She knew it was shameless, but she couldn't stop herself from giving him another seductive wink and blowing him a kiss. She then cackled at the stunned look on his face and pressed the pedal down, tearing from the parking lot and unto the street.

The tires gripped the road like they were made of super glue, and the entire car responded to her so perfectly it was as if the second her brain had sent the signal to her hand, the steering wheel barely had to move, and it went exactly where she wanted. She sped past the remainder of the city, Carter Street turning into the highway towards her families' estate. She wanted to put distance between her and her BMW as fast as possible. Distance between her and control, because at this moment, she knew she was out of control. She couldn't get enough of the reckless speed. She couldn't get the smile off of her face. Her windows were down, her raven hair whipping around her. She couldn't douse the fire that was consuming every inch of her body. She couldn't get to Jackson fast enough.

She had acted rashly last night, she mused. John was right, she had to put her faith and trust in Jack, in his explanation. How was she supposed to get him back if she scared him away the first moment he came back to her, and he had come back to her. It was to leave his situation, sure. It was because he needed home, and family, ok. But she knew the truth: He needed her. He couldn't stay away from her anymore, any more than she could from him. Suddenly the fire inside flashed even hotter, and then all rational thought melted away. She had to get home, had to get to him. She'd leave the damn car running, she'd break down the door and run up the stairs. Her entire family could be in the room, she didn't care. She was going to throw herself in his arms and beg him to kiss her if she had to, although she doubted she'd need to. All she knew was that she needed his lips on hers, his hands all over her, she needed him to take control, to take her however he wanted. She'd kneel, she'd beg, she'd bow, crawl for him. Did he want tears to show her desperation? Did he need to bring her to heel? She didn't care, as long as he took her.

She was lost in her licentious needs when she noticed blue and red lights behind her. Fucking Paul!

She snatched her phone and paired it to the media console of the car and touched Paul's name in her favorites. It rang 3 times.

"I can't talk right now, Stella...I'm chasing this fucking INSANE car right no-"

"Yeah, I know...just give it up, you'll never catch me." She said, at first trying to sound authoritative but the idea of running from Paul's police car sent another flash of fire from within her. It was reckless, dangerous...and an absolutely perfect idea.

"That's YOU?!...You're a liar!" he practically shouted in the phone.

He was slowly gaining on her, but she was only barely pressing the pedal down. A game of chase sounded like more fun than she had ever had. She grabbed the handbrake and yanked the wheel, squealing around until she was facing Paul's cruiser, and without missing a beat, released it, gunning the accelerator, heading straight at him.

"Stella!!...What the hell are you doing? Stop the car!" he shouted.

"Stop what? I thought it wasn't me. I mean...this couldn't possibly be me, driving this gorgeous wine red Vanquish, could it? I couldn't possibly be driving right at you, practically begging to be chased, could I?" she teased, her voice melodic.

"Stella, Stop this! Are you insane? Where in the fuck did you get that?"

"Come on, Paul...play with me! Chase me...ill even slow down for the first 5 miles before I leave you eating my fucking dust!" She challenged, throwing her head back laughing.

"Seriously? Stella, what's gotten into you? What the fuck are y-"

"TAG, YOU'RE IT!" she shouted, shooting past him.

"Stella, I'll pull you the fuck over and impound your new car, I swear to fucking God!"

"Oh, come ON! Just one game!"

"Stella...you really have me worried. Please slow down. I'm off in like 20 minutes. When I get there we can talk about this-"

"Wow! So, when I'm basically an unemotional robot, everything is fine but if I'm the least bit impulsive or alive, there must be something wrong with me? No...you know what, Fuck You! Go home after you're off, seriously. You and Tillie have a nice, boring night in...and when I say 'go home' I mean you're home! Bye!"

With the call ended at the touch of a button, she pulled another whipping turn back towards the house and put the pedal to the metal.

She could feel the recklessness permeating throughout her entire being and for the first time, it started to scare her. This feeling was so foreign to her now. There was a day, a moment seemingly a lifetime ago where she let herself feel these things, but it seemed that her body, mind, and soul were so thirsty for it that the fear could barely touch the surface of her. She saw Paul's cruiser directly in front of her, but just as his lights switched off, she sped past him faster than she thought possible, watching him pull to the side of the road in her rearview. Trees, grass, open sky rushed past her faster than she could process, but it mattered little. She was looking at the road in front of her, but she didn't see it. She saw Jackson. His face. His body. His eyes. Into his soul, or at least what she knew of his soul now. The fire was raging within her, all around her and when she thought she couldn't breathe anymore, the estate crested in her view and she pressed the gas as far down as it would go.

With a precision that honestly surprised her, she hit the brakes while turning the wheel just as she entered the driveway to the house, stopping crookedly in front of it. She put it in park, turned and took out the key, opened her door and tossed the key unto the passenger seat in one fluid motion. She was running to the door and throwing it open within seconds.

She strode through the entryway and into the living room, her hungry eyes scanning for her prey and finding nothing. She craned herself enough to see into the kitchen and, while seeing evidence of his meal being eaten and put away, Jackson was not there. Upstairs.

She kicked her heals off into the room and jogged to the staircase, hoping in her mind that she could be lucky enough to find him in the shower, undressed and practically giftwrapped for her. She took the steps three at a time and walking into their room. When she got into their entryway, she veered right into his room, and stopped on the spot. Something wasn't right.

"Jack!?" she called, panic starting to set in.

The water wasn't running in the bathroom, meaning he wasn't in there, but that was the least of her worries. As she surveyed the room, she saw no trace of his things anymore. His bag, his toiletries, any sign of him still being there was missing. The bed was made, just as it had been before he came home. In fact, the entire room screamed at her the fact that it looked like he had never been there in the first place. Her thoughts and feelings were jumbled, save for one: panic.

"JACKSON!?" she yelled, her voice cracking.

She turned to run downstairs, tripping over her own feet and falling unto her hands and knees.

"No...no, no, no.." she mumbled to herself in desperation. She climbed to her feet and ran downstairs, almost falling down them halfway down. She frantically walked the entire house, round and round in circles, tears completely blurring her vision, her entire body trembling and shaking despite her. Her mental autopilot finally stopped her circuit throughout the house when she reached the kitchen, coming to a halt at the sliding glass door.

He'd done it again. He'd been in her life. He'd made promises to her. She had given him her trust...and he had disappeared again, breaking them all, and her all over again in the process. She involuntarily found herself falling to the floor, sliding down the glass and wrapping her arms around her knees, rocking back and forth without really meaning to. It was déjà vu of the worst kind.

"No, please...please no..." was all she could seem to mutter as her entire body trembled and hear tears turned into sobs.