Finding Beth Ch. 08

The next day Jamie sent an edited version of the video to me and Trevor both. She told us both to give her an OK or tell me what we wanted changed, if anything. Separately she told me that she would wait another twenty-four hours either way before uploading it, just to give me one last chance to change my mind.

I'll be honest: I didn't actually watch it all the way through. I tried, but almost as soon as I started it I saw Jamie and me side-by-side and I lost all my confidence from the previous night. Jamie was so beautiful, so graceful and sexy. I, by comparison, was awkward-looking, chubby and not someone anyone would find attractive, much less hot. At least that's what I thought at the time. And I knew that if I watched more, I might find it so bad I'd ask Jamie to delete it and forget the whole thing. So I pretended I'd seen it and told Jamie I was OK with it. This was stupid, but hey, it was my first time. She replied she'd upload it evening next day.

That day came and went. At seven in the evening, her usual upload time, my phone buzzed.

>Last chance now hun, u 100% sure you're OK with this going up?<

I typed quickly, before I could change my mind

>I'm sure. do it<

No reply. A minute passed. Then another.

>Done. It's up< I sat down so I didn't fall over. There was a video of me up on the internet jerking off someone. Me. Beth from Botaka. Good girl, never-got-in-trouble Beth. There was a video of me jerking a dick. Kissing it. Getting cum all over me. Holy crap. I thought, scared. Then: I wonder what people will think of it?

I sat there, waiting, thinking, hesitating. After a while I fished out my phone and went to Jamie's website. The video was there. The thumbnail showed me and Jamie standing side-by-side. Its title was "My new friend helps me take care of T's huge, throbbing cock and ends up taking a big load all over herself". Well, I said to myself. it's up. May as well watch it now, I guess.

Watching the video back was weird to say the least. Seeing yourself jerking someone off from their point of view is a strange feeling, and watching in the light of day was very different to going through it; I still hated the way I looked in it, the way my body was shaped, my scared expression early on and my fumbling hands. Jamie looked gorgeous as always and I again found myself drawn to her breasts. And Trevor, well -- what little of him was in the video looked great, in my book. Jamie had done a good job editing; she'd cut out the more awkward moments and mine and her little asides. I watched it start to finish and found myself watching the end again and again. No, I didn't like how I looked and briefly wishedI'd had had the confidence to take my top off, too, but there was one moment when I thought I looked good: At the end, waving at the camera, with Trevor's semen all over me.

Damn, but I looked hot as hell like that, I thought. Finally, I glanced down at the bottom of the screen. The video had been up for maybe twenty minutes, but there already three comments. Heart racing, I clicked the little speech bubble icon that would show them. Even as I did, the number changed -- there were six now! I read through them:

"damn that girl was HUNGRY for his cock looked like she was starving -- I love chubby girls who are desperate for good cock"

"I would let either of you go to town on my 10 or both ;)"

"shit who is she i need to see her swallow a cock"

"plz do one with just the two of you <3"

"would kill to have that new girl sit on my face for ten minutes"

"new contest for a chance with both of you WHEN?!"

I put the phone down. I couldn't believe it. People had watched it. People had watched me do... that. Me! And they liked it! They thought it was hot they thought... they thought I was hot! They wanted more videos with me. On my bedside table my phone buzzed. A text from Jamie.

>Pretty good traffic so far, hun. You alright?<

>Im ok. any donations?<

>Not yet, give it a little bit.< So I sat and waited. Part of me wanted to go over to Jamie but another part was anxious. I kept checking my phone every few minutes, looking for more comments. The initial deluge slowed down pretty quickly, but they kept trickling in. After a few hours there were maybe two dozen comments, and they mostly shared the same theme as the first six. There were some who commented on my appearance in comparison to Jamie's, but more that said they'd hope to see more of me. Obviously, many were extremely explicit which left me feeling strange, but in a good way. Eventually I decided I needed to stop refreshing the page constantly and went to sleep.

The next day was a Saturday and I woke up to my phone buzzing.

>Hun, u up?<

>yeah<

>Donations blew up during the night, hun! I've got 14 donations so far, the highest one for $25!< I stared at my phone for a whole fucking minute.

>yore kidding me<

>No! Girl you made nearly $100 last night!< I sat up.

A hundred fucking dollars? I'd made more money than I would have made working an entire day at Bart's -- even on a good day, tipping-wise!

>Wanna come over and read some of the comments?<

>I read som last night<

>No I mean the donation ones< I remembered Jamie telling me that when you donated to her site, you got to leave a comment directly to her, and that she tried to respond to each one, to encourage more donations in the future. My heart leapt, but I replied saying I'd shower then be right over. My head was a whirl as I showered and got dressed. A hundred dollars for just one video. Okay, in the grand scheme of things a hundred bucks wasn't that big a deal -- a tenth of my rent, or there abouts. But hey, if I did more...

I didn't even bother properly drying my hair I was so eager to get over to Jamie's. When she opened the door her face was beaming; she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey there big-time movie star!" I blushed and waved her away but she kept going:

"You made another five bucks while showering."

"Shut up!"

"You did! You're up to one hundred and two dollars now."

"Fuck!" I said and started laughing. Jamie laughed, too.

"People liked you. Want to see what they had to say?"

"Hell yeah!" we sat down in her couch and she pulled her laptop into her lap and we started reading the messages that had come in.

"Okay, so a lot of them just say stuff like this one, 'great video' or 'hot as hell made me come' you know, that kind of stuff but check this one out!" I leaned in and read:

Amazing video -- B was super-hot. Any chance to see her again? She's got that really innocent-girl turned slut vibe that just drives me crazy and a cute girl-next-door look. I guarantee I'll donate again if you bring her back for another video. Obviously would love to see the two of you go at it, as well. ;) /Paul

"Who's Paul?" I asked.

"Long-time fan. He donates pretty regularly and always writes something sensible."

"Did he donate the twenty-five bucks?"

"No, actually, that was someone anonymous." I nodded and scrolled through some of the other comments. Jamie was right, a lot of them were very short and not really insightful. There were a lot of comments about wanting to see me and Jamie together. Jamie didn't say anything about it though.

"So..." I said, leaning back. "What happens now?"

"Well, I think we should wait a day or two and then I'll tally all this up and send the sum over to you."

"And then?" I asked, carefully. Jamie smiled and gave a frustrated sigh.

"Hun, I really wish you got better at saying what you want rather than dance around it like this."

"I'm sorry." was all I could manage and we were both quiet for a while.

"Soo..." Jamie eventually said, probingly. "What do you want, hun?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, frustrated.

"I think you do." There was a sudden intensity to her voice that frightened me a little. "What did you think of making that video? Did you enjoy it?"

"It... it's really cool that it made a lot of money, that's-" she cut me off:

"Did you enjoy it?"

"It... it, I was really nervous-"

"Did you enjoy it? This is a decent way to make money but it's not worth it if you don't have fun doing it, it can ruin your whole life if you do it from desperation or because you feel trapped or because of pressure and I'd rather die than risk you going through that. Beth," she stared me straight in the eyes. "did. You. Enjoy. It? Yes or no?" I swallowed hard and met her gaze. I stared into those eyes of hers; green, deep and gorgeous.

"Yes." I croaked, my voice failing me. "Yes I enjoyed it -- I loved it." Jamie smiled and leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I know. I could tell. But I needed to hear it from you for my own conscience's sake."

"I want to do more."

"What do you want to do?"

"I... I'm not sure. I'm sorry!" I cried out before Jamie could complain again: "I'm sorry, I know I loved doing that but I'm just... I'm not used to this I'm not... imaginative, I guess." Jamie was quiet, lost in thought.

"Okay," she finally said. "how about this? I'm probably doing another video this week, just me -- how about in that video I make a fan poll? We think of some options you'd feel comfortable with and let the subscribers vote." That sounded interesting to me, but still pretty scary.

"And whatever they choose we do?"

"Mhm. Tell you what," Jamie said. "I'll tell them that any donations with a comment will count twice. Only I can see those comments so if we need to fudge it, we can."

"Okay. Okay, I guess that sounds good."

"Great. So," she grinned mischievously; "what shall we let me pick between?" I blushed. She wasn't letting me get away.

"I'm open to suggestions." Jamie shook her head but relented.

"Okay, well, they'd obviously love to see you naked, so- oh hun you have got to stop blushing!"

"I'm sorry! I- there's basically only one person who's seen me naked!"

"Well, traditionally porn stars tend to be naked a lot of the time." Porn star, I thought to myself and felt my head spinning again.

"If... I mean, if I do, will you still be there?"

"Of course hun, I'll hold your hand every step of the way, as long as you want me."

"Then I guess... maybe one could be me... masturbating?"

"Sure thing, hun." Jamie smiled and brought up an empty notepad on her laptop. While I watched she made a quick list titled 'Beth video ideas' and made a first bullet point: 'Beth solo vid w. or w/o toys'.

"Maybe... another video with Trevor?" I said, trying to sound a little nonchalant, I doubt she bought it.

"I don't want to use Trevor again so soon. A big part of my website" she explained, "is the idea that I'm constantly banging different guys and strangers. If they find out I really rotate out three guys some of them might unsubscribe. I mean probably not many, but still. Would you be okay with someone else?" A stranger? Of course not! I thought, but felt a tingle between my legs. Maybe... someone who doesn't know me, someone who's first meeting with me is when I suck their-

I pushed those thoughts away before they could conclude.

"I- I'm not sure."

"Okay, that's okay hun, don't worry. We can use Trevor again -- I'm being too paranoid. What would you want to do with Trev this time?"

Everything.

"What's, er... what's the next step, do you think?" I said.

"Come on, hun, you know what the next step is." Jamie said and then typed 'Blowjob vid w. Trev' in her list. My heart pounded and the voice in my head said; I want that one to win. "Anything else?"

"I... should we offer them... erm, something with both of us?"

"Sure, you and me with Trev, just like last time but, you know, sucking him off?" she said cheerily, and I blushed at how nonchalant she could be about it.

"Y-yeah, I guess. Or, I mean, don't they want stuff with just you and me?" I said. Jamie smiled but looked a little bothered.

"Well, erm... if we suggest that it will win. Also... you should maybe don't tease so much." I looked at her confused for a second then, horrified, I shot my hands up to my mouth.

"Jamie I'm so sorry, I-" she held up a hand.

"It's okay, hun, don't worry. You're just trying to come up with something, I get it." she looked down at her laptop and did something -- I think she wanted to look busy.

"I... I'm not."

"Not what?"

"Teasing." Jamie looked up.

"Go on." There was a certain frankness to her voice, like she wanted the truth.

"I've... never even thought about... being with a girl. Until..."

"Until... what?"

"Until I met you." Jamie took a deep breath and once again I saw her blush.

"Is that... something you would... like?"

"I don't know." I paused, a momentous thought in my head. I wanted to be honest, I needed to be honest with her. "But... if it was with you I might... no I would like to try." Jamie breathed heavily and her eyes lit up.

"Let's... let's leave that for now, hun. I want you to be sure about it. But, you know, just so you know: When -- if -- you do want to try it, I'm willing." she looked away again then quickly flashed a smile: "And trust me when I tell you we would make bank on a video of that." I blushed and smiled.

"Okay," Jamie resumed. "How do you feel about a safer option, like another handjob video but this time maybe without me in it? I'll still be there, just not on camera."

"Wouldn't that be boring? I mean, I'd love to, but..." I paused, suddenly feeling a little exposed.

"Oh you would, would you, huh?" Jamie grinned at me. "Maybe" she said and frowned, her head deep in thought. "buuuut, maybe we can spice it up a little. Plot it a bit. Maybe we could have you and Trev pretend you both wanted to have some fun just the two of you. Give it a little romance, maybe even a hint of jealousy?" she winked at me and I blushed.

"I don't -- I mean I'm not sure I'll be able to... erm... what's the word?"

"Sell it?" Jaime said and I nodded. "Hun, you're underestimating yourself. Or overestimating the viewers. They're not looking for Shakespeare. Besides, you've got a real... earnestness that I think works. What do you say?"

"Okay. I mean let's try it, I guess?"

"Attagirl." Jamie grinned and typed in 'Handjob w. Trev -- cheating on me!'. "Is that good enough? I think that's enough to start."

"Okay." I said and gave a weak smile.

"Okay. I'll get back to you next week, okay hun?"

"Okay."

I can't wait, I thought.