Finding Our Way Ch. 01

Fuck. I hadn't even thought of that. But, it didn't really matter did it? I didn't really like him...that way...did I? Sure, my body reacted around him; he was a cute guy. I rubbed my hand over my buzz cut and felt my gut clench.

"I don't... I mean, I don't really like..." Crap, I couldn't lie to Gage. I could try to lie to myself, but I could never lie to Gage. "Shit. Do you think he knows?"

"No. I don't think he has a clue. I don't think Devin does either. But, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything, Gage."

"You're good-looking and smart and funny..."

I grinned. "You're point?"

He punched my arm and rolled his eyes. "And soooo humble!"

I laughed and he smiled again.

"I mean, if you like him, why haven't you asked him out?"

I looked down at the floor. Why hadn't I asked him out? There were a million different answers to that loaded question.

"I don't know, really. I don't think he likes me that way. I don't think I'm his type and besides, if he said no, things could get really awkward here." I brought my eyes up to look at him. "Besides, Gage, I wouldn't even know how to... I mean, I've never been in a relationship. Not with a guy, anyway." I had dated women while I was still in the closet, but never men.

He nodded his understanding. "It can be scary putting yourself out there, but Travis, don't sell yourself short. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their boyfriend. You should tell him."

"Maybe. When I'm ready, Gage."

Something clattered to the wooden floor in the hall and we both turned towards the hall. Gage moved to the door and turned back to me, his eyes wide. "Brett, you okay?"

Fuck. My heart dropped to my chest. How much had he heard? I started to get up, but Gage held his hand up, telling me to stay.

"I'm fine. Just dropped my basket. Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." I heard Brett through the open door.

Gage waved his hand to me as he left the room. "Here, let me help."

I waited a few minutes until I was sure Gage and Brett were gone, before I headed into the bathroom. God, I hoped he hadn't heard us. That wouldn't make things awkward around here... not at all.

I jumped into the shower and let the hot water pound my aching, sweaty muscles. Knowing that Brett had just been naked in this same shower made me grow hard instantly. Did I think this was going to be a long day? I meant this was going to be a long year.

Brett's POV

I couldn't believe I dropped my stuff in the hallway. I really hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but when I heard Gage telling Travis that anyone would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend, I had frozen. When he urged Travis to tell someone how he felt, my stomach clenched and the stupid basket had fallen from my fingers.

When Gage popped his head out, I felt like a deer in headlights. I hurried to pick everything up, but felt a little jumpy and kept dropping things again. He helped me pick everything up and followed me to my room, closing my bedroom door behind him as I slumped down on the edge of my bed.

"You okay?"

"Umm, yeah. Sorry about that." I couldn't meet his gaze.

"How much did you hear?"

I sighed. I had to be honest with him. "I heard you tell him to let someone know how he feels."

A small smile tugged at his lips. "You didn't hear who?"

"No." But I was curious. "Who is it?"

He shook his head, his lips pursed. "I can't tell you that. That's for him to say."

I jumped up from the bed and began pacing. "Yeah, of course not. I guess it just surprised me. I mean, it shouldn't have. Of course he likes someone. Trav is gorgeous and kind and I bet his arms feel like steel." I sighed. "I was such an idiot last year."

"What do you mean?" Gage moved to sit in my computer chair.

I sighed again and flopped onto my back on my bed, covering my face with my hands. "When I met him, I thought he was a stereotypical dumb jock, but then I saw how he was with you and Devin and realized I made an assumption."

"He is definitely not dumb, far from it, actually. Travis is really smart."

"I know. I can tell that. But sometimes he just pisses me off and I don't know why!" I threw my arms up in the air in frustration.

Gage laughed. "Are you saying you like him?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter now, anyway. He likes someone and I feel like a stupid little high school kid with a crush." I sat up quickly. "He's not really my type anyway. I mean, he may be interested in someone, but he's a player, right? He has a rep for banging and leaving... Fuck! Why do I even like him?? Promise me you won't tell him!"

Gage smiled and promised not to spill my secret.

We talked for a little while and then decided to run to the little grocery store nearby and pick up some munchies for tonight. I had seen a recipe for some slow cooker meatballs and another one for a spicy buffalo dip for chips and wanted to make them. I enjoyed cooking and had even signed up for an evening cooking class that started next week at the local community center.

By the time we got back, it was close to dinner time and we decided to order some pizzas. Devin said that Jack and Jeremy were coming over and they were bringing a friend of theirs with them. So, it looked like there would be seven for the game.

I spent the next thirty minutes in the kitchen before I headed upstairs to freshen up. I slipped into a pair of black skinny jeans and grabbed my favorite Walk the Moon tee. It was gray and fit well, plus they were my favorite band right now. I moved into the bathroom to brush my teeth and check my hair.

After messing with my unruly hair for a few minutes, I gave up and checked myself in the mirror. The outfit looked good, and my hair wasn't horrible. Last week I had impulsively cut my shaggy hair off, leaving it really short on the sides and longer on top so I could tousle it and sweep it forward. I splurged and had some light blonde highlights added to my medium blonde hair and I still wasn't sure about the results.

My eyes moved to my face and I groaned when I realized I still looked like a teenager, not the sophomore in college I really was. I could still go days without shaving, my hair was so baby fine. I had blue eyes and a small, up-turned nose. Basically, delicate features that I hated.

I straightened my shoulders and gave myself a last onceover. I was about 5'10", lean with some definition in my arms and abs. But, definitely not the hot jock look... Not like Travis. God, he was the penultimate vision of a sexy jock. I shook my head and took a deep breath. I didn't want to be down on myself, but there was no way someone like Travis would be attracted to me.

I exited the bathroom and collided with a wall of muscle.

"Shit!" Travis exclaimed as I bounced off him and back through the bathroom door, ending up sprawled out on the floor on my ass.

Stunned, I pulled myself up on my elbow and felt my head spin. I watched as he crouched down to check on me.

"I am so sorry, Brett! I didn't see the door open. Are you okay? Did you hit your head?"

I studied his face as he looked at me, unable to form an answer; apparently the fall had driven away my ability to form words. It was kind of cute how he was fussing over me. His hand slid under my head and carefully felt it for any cuts or bumps. I wanted to tell him I was fine, but it felt too good. A shiver ran down my spine as he ran his other hand through my hair on the top of my head, checking that area, too.

When he leaned over closer to look in my eyes and I felt his hot breath ghost across my face, I had to suppress a moan. I bit my lower lip as his chocolate brown eyes stared into mine, probably searching for a concussion, or perhaps some sign of intelligent life.

My brain finally kicked in and granted me the ability to speak again. "I-I'm fine, Trav. Sorry to scare you."

He grinned and I swear it sent a shot of electricity directly to my dick. Crap. I was getting hard and that was the last thing I needed to happen right now.

He reached out his hand and I took it, letting him pull me up. I swayed for a second and he placed his hand on my lower back, supporting me. Heat from his hand flooded my body with warmth and another shiver shot through me.

"Ready?" he asked.

I tilted my head back and looked at him. He wore his hair in a short buzz cut, with a high fade on the side that blended right in to the dark stubble that covered his face. The urge to touch his stubble overwhelmed me and without thinking, I reached up and stroked his cheek, smiling at the tingles I felt in my fingers. His lips curled into a smile and I reached a finger over and started to trace his bottom lip.

"Mmm," I murmured, "so soft."

"Do you like that?" he asked, his voice husky and low.

"Mm-hmm," I smiled as I let my finger trail down to his sharp jawline, feeling the stubble under my fingertip. "Trav," I murmured.

His eyes closed as he leaned into my hand, letting me cup his chin. I felt his arm slide around my waist and I leaned into his chest a little, breathing in his scent. There were no words to describe it...it was just male. Hot. Intoxicating.

"What's going on?" Devin asked, stopping in front of the bathroom.

"Nothing." Travis's eyes flew opened and he turned to look at Devin. "I accidentally knocked Brett over and I think he might have hit his head."

I pulled my hand away from his face and stood up straighter, embarrassed at my behavior. What the hell was I doing? "Sorry," I whispered, pulling away. "I just lost my balance." I felt a blush creep across my face and quickly ran through the door, past Devin and down the stairs. What had come over me?

I busied myself in the kitchen, checking on my meatballs and dip. Gage grabbed some big bowls from the cabinets and poured a couple of bags of chips into them.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, looking at me curiously.

"Nothing," I lied, feeling the blush creep down my neck as I evaded his eyes and pulled a Gatorade out of the fridge.

Gage pursed his lips, but chose not to call me out on it. "So, ready for our inaugural poker game?"

I laughed. "Yeah, but I have to be honest. I suck at poker."

"Me, too! Although I would love to play strip poker with Devin."

I almost choked on my Gatorade and stared at him hard.

"What?" he asked, smirking, "I can't help it; he drives me crazy." His eyes glazed over a little and I took another sip, unsure what to say. He snapped out of it and smiled. "So, how should we set this up?"

We decided to use the kitchen table like a buffet and placed all the snacks, paper plates, cups and everything we needed there, leaving room for the boxes of pizza.

Travis walked in and grabbed a couple of chairs. "Hey, Brett, can we use your computer chair for the poker game?"

I just nodded, still too embarrassed to look at him. I felt Gage's eyes on me, but he stayed silent.

The pizzas arrived a few minutes later and we all pooled our money and gave it to the driver while Devin carried them into the kitchen and set them on the table. The doorbell rang again and Gage followed Devin back to the door.

I decided to stir the meatballs one more time and make sure they were still heating. I lifted the lid and the scent of honey barbecue filled the room.

"Damn! Those smell amazing. Did you make those?" Travis's breath whispered across my neck, surprising me as he glanced over my shoulder. He was so close, his hard pec grazed my shoulder, sending a thrill through me.

"Um, yeah. It's the first time I've made them so I hope they taste okay." I hated how nervous my voice sounded.

He leaned over a little more, his cheek almost resting against mine, as he peered into the slow cooker. "What flavor?"

"Honey Barbecue," I answered, afraid to move. My body was reacting in all sorts of ways, making me feel like a hormonal teenager. God, I needed to get a grip. He likes someone else, I reminded myself. He's not flirting with you! But, damn, it was thrilling to imagine he was.

"Oh, god, that's my favorite. I love something sweet with a little kick," his breath tickled my skin as he breathed his words into my ear.

Fuck. My body was on fire and there was no way to hide this bulge in these skinny jeans.

He finally moved back and I turned my head a little to see him grinning at me. Shit. Was he messing with my head? I instinctively licked my lips as his eyes moved to my mouth. "Are you coming?" he asked as he gestured his head towards the living room. "We're getting set up out there."

I gulped. "Um, yeah, be out there in a sec."

He winked and I held back a gasp. What the hell was he doing?

Gage walked in as Travis left.

"I'm grabbing some sodas and beers for everyone. What do you want?"

"Beer."

Yeah, I was definitely going to need some alcohol to get through the night. I helped Gage grab everything and we joined everyone at the table. The only empty chair was between Travis and a guy I didn't recognize.

I sat down and nodded hello to everyone. Jeremy introduced me to the new guy, Sandy who lived in the room next to Jack and Jeremy in their dorm. He was short, with reddish brown hair that feathered across his forehead, green eyes and lots of freckles. When I noticed he was wearing a "Walk the Moon" shirt, I pointed out my shirt and he gave me a lopsided grin.

"Great minds think alike, right?" he said.

I laughed and had to agree with him. I immediately felt that he and I could be friends.

Everyone decided to grab their food before starting the game and he followed me into the kitchen.

"Have you seen them in concert?"

"No, you?" I asked.

"No, but did you hear they're coming to concert in October, just a couple of cities over?"

"Seriously? No, I didn't know that. Crap, I wonder if tickets are still available."

"Well, I have an extra if you want to go with me," he offered.

"Really? That's awesome!" I was thrilled. I had been dying to see them in concert. "How did you end up with an extra ticket?" I asked as I grabbed a slice of pizza and spooned some meatballs onto my plate.

His nose wrinkled up and he looked like he tasted something bitter. "I bought them a few months ago, but then my idiot ex-boyfriend decided to cheat on me and follow his new guy to a different college."

"Wow. That sucks. Sorry about that."

He shrugged. "He's not worth it. He was a total douche anyway."

"Then I'm glad he's gone!"

He laughed. "Yeah, me too," he said as we made our way back to the poker table.

Travis's POV

The game sucked. I lost every hand. It was all my own fault, though. I couldn't keep my mind on the game after hearing that new guy, Sandy, ask Brett out. When he said yes, I felt numb. I thought we might have had a connection, but apparently it was just me.

I watched Sandy and couldn't see why Brett was so taken with him. I mean, yeah, he was cute and I had to admit he was funny. I spent so much time watching them, I was too distracted from the game. When the next hand started, I finally opted out and headed into the kitchen.

"Me, too," I heard Brett say and turned to see him following me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his brow furrowed with concern.

"What do you mean?"

"You just seem... tense, I guess."

"Oh. No, I'm fine. Maybe just tired from the big move." I pasted on a smile, but I could tell he wasn't buying it. For whatever reason, though, he let me slide and didn't push me on it.

"Okay." He looked at the mess on the table and groaned. "I guess I'll start cleaning up."

"I can help. I think I'm done for the night. Why don't you go back and join Sandy."

He turned back to me. "Sandy? What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed as he searched my face.

I shrugged and tried to act nonchalant. "I mean, it looks like you guys are really hitting it off." I cleared my throat and tried to smile. "I, umm, I heard him ask you out. So, uh, going on a date with him, huh?"

"With Sandy? A date?" He looked at me like I was from Mars.

I looked down at my shoes. "Um, yeah."

"Look, Trav," he started, exasperation evident in his voice, "Sandy and I are going to a concert together, but I am buying the ticket from him. He and I are just friends. We're not each other's types by a long shot!"

My heart beat faster when he spoke and my head whipped up to look at him. His blue eyes stared straight back, unwavering. Hope bloomed in my chest.

"Just what is your type, Brett?" I asked as I moved towards him.

He backed up a couple of steps until he hit the counter, eyes wide as he watched me advance on him. I stopped inches from him and leaned in, placing my hands on the counter on either side of him. To see me, he had to tilt his head back.

"Are you going to answer me?" I whispered, my voice low.

"Um, what was the question again?"

I chuckled as I watched him bite his lower lip, wishing it was my teeth nipping at him. "I asked you what your type was, Brett... For instance, do you like tall men or short men?"

He swallowed and I swear I saw him shudder. "T-tall."

"That's good. What else do you like, Brett?" I asked, leaning in and whispering in his ear.

"Fuck," he whispered as he grabbed onto the counter behind him for balance, brushing my hand with his.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you," I whispered.

"Umm, I said... I said... I like men with brown eyes..." his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Brown eyes. Hmm. Funny. I like blue eyes. Blue eyes and full lashes."

This time I felt him tremble as I leaned in and nuzzled his hair.

"You do?" he asked, as I let a finger slowly trail across his hand and up his arm.

"Oh, yeah. Blue eyes, full lashes, cute little mouth... blonde hair..." I slid my hand up his shoulder and grasped the back of his neck, feeling him tremble again. "You know what else I like in a man?"

"No," he whispered, his eyes half closed.

"I really like a man in skinny black jeans and a tight little band t-shirt."

His eyes flew open just in time to see me lean down towards him. I let my breath ghost over his skin until I reached his neck and tentatively flicked my tongue out. Mm, sweet. He gasped and tilted his head to give me better access so I leaned in again and nipped his delicate skin. He whimpered and I licked him again, eager for another taste.

Suddenly, I heard a cough behind me and Brett stood up straight as a rod, obviously embarrassed at being caught in this situation. I sighed and pulled back to see who had interrupted the moment. It was Devin, and damned if he wasn't grinning like a loon.

"What?" I barked, feeling Brett wriggle out from my arms and wishing like hell we hadn't been interrupted.

Devin tried to look innocent and put his hands up in the air. "Hey, I was just sent in to see if either of you wanted to play another game or not. We were thinking about putting a movie on instead."

Hmm, movie. Dark room, possible snuggling. "My vote's for a movie. Something really scary."

Brett blushed and scurried out of the kitchen. I glared at Devin.

"Sorry! I didn't know you had a thing for Brett."

I shook my head. He was right; it wasn't like I had shared my feelings with him. Hell, I was not the kind of guy to share my feelings with anyone. I was surprised I even talked with Gage about Brett.

"No worries. You know me...just messing around." I smiled at Devin and clapped him on the shoulder. "So, what's the verdict? Movie or poker?"

I followed him to the living room and found out most had voted for a movie. Glancing around, I didn't see Brett and felt a bubble of disappointment. Hoping he would be back soon, I asked who wanted a beer and headed back in the kitchen to grab some.

I grabbed an unopened six-pack and was just about to tote it back out there when I thought I heard sniffling. Pausing, I tilted my head a little and listened, but I didn't hear it again. Maybe I was hearing things... in that case, another beer may not be the best idea.