Finding Tears in the Rain Ch. 07

[Please feel free to comment. I'm trying to become a professional writer and would appreciate your observations. Mainly, does the story flow, is it logically consistent, is the pace correct, are the characters enjoyable, within the confines of the story, are their actions believable, is it interesting enough to make you want to read more. Also, this is the 7th posting/chapter, so feel free to comment on prior sections. Thanks for your attention.]

All Tuesday, anxiety stifled Tom. His mind dwelt on Gen and their argument. Only the fact that his job at the grocery store required little thought allowed him to get through the day without mishap. Indeed, the mindless busy-ness kept his worry partly at bay. It returned in full force when he found his house that evening dark and empty. Despite its assertion to the contrary, Gen's note did little to alleviate the feeling of dread that he'd lost her. Study was out of the question and he rejected the false solace offered by the bottle of bourbon he kept in the kitchen cabinet. Instead, he sought surcease in a mystery novel, one of his favorite intellectually low calorie distractions. He drifted off in the wee hours, long past his usual bedtime.

He woke late Wednesday morning. Groggy, he stumbled about the kitchen trying to make coffee. Extra beans in the grinder promised a more profound caffeine jolt than usual. He cooked breakfast, hoping the action involved would help him focus. It did, so far as it went, but the food had no taste and his throat closed when he attempted to swallow. He gave it up as a bad job and left, hoping to make it to his first class before the professor arrived and closed the door.

At that time of year, dusk fell before his normal return time. Walking through the parking lot across from his place, he saw light in his windows. His heart raced and he quickened his steps. When he entered, Gen stood there in her usual jeans and t-shirt. She threw her arms around his neck and nuzzled his chest.

She whispered. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I lost my temper because I'm a damn mess. Can you forgive me?"

He pulled her body tight against his. "Only if you forgive me. I thought I'd lost you."

"Not hardly. I've never loved anybody the way I love you and I don't think I ever will."

She looked up into his eyes and moved to kiss him but stopped and pulled back. Alarm blared from her face. She smoothed her fingers across the dark circles of weariness under his eyes. "My God. Did you sleep at all last night?"

He shook his head. "Not much."

Delicious aromas from the kitchen caused his stomach to growl. She rubbed it. "When did you last eat?"

"Lunch yesterday. I couldn't choke anything down since I found you gone." His stomach growled again.

"But my note?"

He shrugged. "Was just a note. It wasn't you."

She looked at his hands. They trembled. "Oh Tom, I'm so sorry." She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Then we eat right now." She led him by the hand to the kitchen, sat him down, and filled a plate.

They ate in silence. For Tom, a meal was a job, not an event, and required efficiency more than elegance. He balanced the apparent rudeness of not talking against refraining from the appalling habit of talking with a full mouth and felt no shame. Gen preferred food flavored by speech, but yielded to Tom's eccentricity, mainly because, in her observation, it wasn't much of one; she'd rarely encountered a man who spoke much while eating.

With dinner finished, Tom rose, cleared the table, and ran water for washing the dishes in accordance with the rule of the house: either cook or clean, not both, barring extraordinary circumstances. Gen mixed herself a rum and coke and opened a bottle of beer for Tom. She carried the drinks into the living room and sat on the couch. Tom joined her.

Silence makes a great many people uncomfortable, but it never bothered Tom. Filling the air with mindless chatter irritated him, especially when the words mattered so much they could affect his entire future and required extraordinary care. Having already apologized for his error and related his anxiety, he sat quietly for a moment staring into Gen's eyes, pondering how he needed to proceed. She, too, said nothing for several minutes.

Tom smiled. "Remember our first night? When you cried?"

Gen nodded.

"I didn't try to extract information from you then and I won't do so now. But, remember when I asked you to tell me about yourself and you asked me what I wanted to know? Remember my answer?"

Gen nodded. "You asked me to tell you whatever I wanted you to know."

"Exactly. Same holds now." He took her hand. "And it always will. I love you and I know I'll never find another woman like you. Tell what you want to or nothing at all. It won't change how I feel."

Gen closed her eyes against the tears that leaked down her cheeks. She put her arms around Tom's neck, kissed him, and sat back. "I stayed with my new friend Jasmine. She's Nancy's lab partner. She's older than us, nearly forty, but she doesn't look it. Her husband died and left her well-off. Nancy and she already had plans when I called Monday, so they invited me to go to lunch with them. I talked about you being so busy studying and how I felt neglected, even desperate.

Jasmine took me to a lingerie shop and bought some sexy things for me so I could entice you into showing me more attention. I like her. She's smart and she's kind and she likes me. I got mad when you questioned her motives partly because I was so upset about still being neglected. The lingerie worked but, I guess, not all the way, and, I guess, I was scared. Scared people do all sorts of stupid things.

"But Jasmine and I talked a lot last night and today. She helped me understand my feelings for you and your feelings for me. She told me I either trusted you or not, I mean, the depth of your feelings. I understand better, now, the pressure you're under and what that means. I won't try to force you to pay attention to me when you're so wrapped up in studying. Jasmine wants me to go to her place when I feel lonely. She's good company. She'll help me manage my anxiety when I get depressed. That'll relieve the pressure on you. Is that ok?"

Tom smiled and kissed her. "Of course. As much as you want. I'm sorry I get so myopic. You know, women like to say that men can only do one thing at a time and women can do several. That's not really true. Nobody can do more than one thing at a time, but women can change channels rapidly, like pressing the TV remote back and forth, and most men can't. It's just that I'm worse at it than most men. I'll try to be better."

Gen shook her head. "No, you won't. That's not necessary. You do what you need to do with your school work. Jasmine will help me get through it. When it gets too much for me, you'll know."

"How?"

She leered. "You'll come home and find me dressed like a cathouse dream, just like Monday. Only this time, you won't ask any questions after. Deal?"

He returned her leer. "Deal."

"Good. Now, we go to bed, to sleep. You need rest. I'll be satisfied if you just hold me 'til you drift off. And I promise, when you get home from work tomorrow, you'll have a real treat waiting for you."

***

With the end of the mid-term exam week, Tom and Gen resumed their normal routine, which included sex every night. Her visits to Jasmine had curbed Gen's desperation, benefiting her tie to Tom, and the two women's relationship had blossomed.

On the Monday before Thanksgiving, Gen lay naked and panting next to Jasmine. "My God, that was good. Let me catch my breath and I'll return the favor." She reached down and stroked Jasmine's thigh, savoring the heat and softness of the older woman's skin.

Jasmine half-rolled and kissed Gen passionately and softly, as only a woman can, inviting the younger woman to taste the remains of her own fragrant nectar. Jasmine broke the kiss. "Not just yet. I want to talk a bit."

Gen's eyes popped open. "Okay, anything, but I still want to taste you. Soon?"

Jasmine stroked her cheek. "Maybe. I want to talk about our relationship."

A slight frown creased Gen's brow. "But I thought you didn't want me to give up Tom. You know I can't. Please don't try to make me choose. I don't want to give you up. I don't know if I can."

Jasmine shook her head. She stroked Gen's breasts with her fingertips, causing the younger woman to close her eyes and sigh. "No, baby, nothing like that. You need him. He makes you happy. But I know you need me, too, and you'll like what I have in mind. A lot. Trust me?" She rolled Gen's nipple.

Gen gasped and arched her back. She looked into Jasmine's eyes. "Of course I trust you."

Jasmine kissed Gen's breast. "You even love me, don't you. Not the same as Tom, but you do love me."

Gen nodded and placed her hand on Jasmine's wrist. The older woman's rapid pulse belied the calm tone of her voice. Gen brought Jasmine's hand to her mouth and sucked her fingers. "Yes, I do. I enjoy being with you more than anybody else I've ever known, except for Tom."

Jasmine tongue-kissed Gen's ear. Her voice grew husky. "Good. Now, what I've got in mind will bring you more pleasure than you've ever felt before if you let it."

Gen grasped Jasmine's head and filled her mouth with her tongue. "I really don't see how that's possible."

Jasmine raked her fingers through Gen's hair. "That's because you don't know yourself very well. Yet. I want to teach you about you, how you really feel, what really makes you tick."

Gen stopped in the middle of reaching to fondle Jasmine's breast. "Now you've got me curious."

Jasmine caressed Gen's belly, cupped a breast, and kissed a nipple. "Deep down you like to please people, don't you?"

"Sure, but doesn't everybody, I mean except for assholes. Isn't that how you get along with others?"

Jasmine shook her head. "Only to a degree. You got along with the two dozen or so men you fucked over the past few years, right? Even had orgasms, but not every time, right? What held you back?"

Gen shrugged and frowned. "I don't know."

"Well, you have several orgasms every time you're with Tom. And me. Right?"

"Yes."

"What's the difference? He's a man and I'm a woman. Your experiences with each of us are entirely different, right? What do we have in common? I mean in relation to you?"

Gen's eyes grew glassy for a moment. "I feel relaxed with both of you. You know, safe. I guess I trust you both. Completely."

Jasmine nodded. "Good answer. And when you trust, you come, easily, quickly, and frequently."

"That makes sense. So what?"

"I know of an even better way to help with your anxiety, a way, maybe, to eliminate it."

"How?"

"Easy. You turn yourself over to me, give me full power over you when you're with me."

Gen frowned, confused. "What does that even mean? How would I do that?"

"Let me explain. In sex, in a lot of things, really, there's a dominant and a submissive. The dominant takes and the submissive gives. Taking thrills the dominant but giving thrills the submissive even more. A true submissive loses herself in the act of submission. She gives up all power, all choice. Essentially, she surrenders her will to another. But, in a sense, she actually surrenders to her own body, her lust, her desire to be used."

"So, if I'm hearing you right, you think I'm submissive?" Gen shook her head. "I don't agree. I mean, I HUNTED Tom. I saw him, pursued him, and seduced him. I even got him to give me head before he fucked me. Only a handful of men have ever kissed me there, and those that did made a poor job of it."

"But not Tom, right? He did a good job, a great job, right?"

"Yes, but he did it because I asked him to. Then later, I straddled him. Then I got him to come in my mouth. Then I got him to suck my toes and eat me again." She shook her head once more. "No, I was in charge of all that. I was the dominant."

Jasmine remained silent and Gen continued. "And even with you, we're at least equal. You suck my toes every time. It's foreplay for us. And you always lick my pussy before I lick yours. No, I don't see how you think I'm submissive."

"You're a special case, baby girl. Your body is sooo sexy and delicious, irresistible. When I see you, I feel something like physical hunger. I can't keep my hands off you and I have to taste every part of you. I'm sure Tom feels the same, once he gets started. You can't judge solely by that."

"How do I judge?"

"By how the way Tom and I react to you makes you feel. Does it give you a sense of power that you want to exploit? Or does it give you a sense of security?"

"What do you mean security?"

"The security that you won't be rejected. That you'll be accepted and appreciated because you're valuable. That you're valuable because of the joy you give by giving up your body. Doesn't that thrill you?"

Gen's eyes grew glassy as she reflected on Jasmine's words. "Maybe you're right. Say you're right. What do you suggest?"

"Have you ever heard of BDSM?"

Gen shook her head.

"The letters stand for 'Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism.'"

Gen drew back. "Whips and chains and shit like that? No ma'am, hell no. That's sick."

She made to rise but Jasmine stopped her with a gentle hand. "No baby, not that. All that's just the extreme end. There's actually a gentle form of BDSM. I can't stand the thought of hurting somebody else, and you least of all. But I'm sure that exploring and developing your submissive nature with gentleness and love will be good for you, very good. It'll teach you about yourself and how to get the most happiness out of your life." She gave Gen a soft kiss and stroked her cheek. "Don't doubt my love and devotion to you, sugah. Let me help you, baby girl."

"Say I agreed. What would happen?"

Jasmine fondled Gen's breasts. "First, remember that it's all strictly voluntary. I do something you don't like, you say so and I stop, no questions asked. Your absolute trust in me will be both your joy and your security; sex and pleasure without fear. Your good is my life's mission. No pain and no rough stuff, unless you ask me for it, and even then, only as much as you want. Agreed?"

Gen's nipples hardened and her voice grew husky. "Ok."

Jasmine smiled and nipped the younger woman's nipple. Gen's body stiffened and she gasped. Jasmine stroked her belly. "You wear only what I tell you to wear, anything from jeans to sexy clothes or nothing at all. Agreed?" She tongue-kissed Gen's nipple again.

Gen panted and placed her hand on the back of her lover's head, running her fingers through Jasmine's hair. "Agreed."

"You like being sexy for me, don't you, baby?"

Gen's answer was a whimper. "Yes."

Jasmine inserted a finger into the younger woman and swirled it around. "You'll obey all your Jazzy's commands. Agreed?"

Gen pumped her hips. "Yes. Everything."

The sexy brunette removed her finger, coated Gen's nipples with her essence, and licked them. Gen whimpered.

Jasmine rubbed her clit. "Look into my eyes, baby."

Gen obeyed. Her pupils were fully dilated, revealing her arousal. Jasmine stared hard. "And the most important rule: you will never have an orgasm unless I give you permission. Agreed?"

Gen's eyes popped wide and her body tensed. She bucked her hips. "Oh my God."

Jasmine stopped rubbing. "Not yet. Not yet, my delicious slut."

Gen gasped. "Please. Please let me come."

Jasmine shook her head. "You'll call me Mistress. Always remember. I'm your Mistress and you're my Slut. You're a living sex toy and your body belongs to me for me to use as I see fit. Agreed?"

"Yes, Mistress. I'm your toy. I belong to you. Please Mistress, may I come now?"

"Not until I taste your sweet pussy again."

Gen panted and bucked her hips, trying to move toward Jasmine's hand.

A wicked grin formed on Jasmine's lips. "Watching you lose control of yourself is the sexiest sight on earth. I'm going to lick you again, but remember, no coming until I give you permission."

"Yes, Mistress."

Jasmine trailed her tongue down Gen's body to her womanhood. She licked her pink folds, savoring the fragrant juices of the younger woman's boiling lust. She had to press Gen's hips down with her hands to make the writhing blond still enough to suck her clit into her mouth. She rubbed it with her tongue and inserted two fingers. Gen's passionate cries and pumping hips showed her readiness.

"Please, Mistress. Please let me come."

Jasmine released Gen's clit and worked her fingers faster. "Come now, Slut. Come hard."

Gen screamed while her body shuddered. Waves of ecstasy flooded her, radiating out from her bud, down her trembling thighs and up past pebbly flesh of her nipples to her flushed neck. When Gen's quaking slowed, Jasmine resumed sucking her clit. A second wave of passion took Gen and she screamed louder while grasping the older woman's head.

As her intense orgasm passed, Gen whimpered. "Please, Mistress, that's enough. I don't think I can take any more."

Jasmine stopped and Gen met her gaze. "Do you love your Mistress, Slut?"

"Yes. I love you, Mistress. Please, can I serve you, Mistress? Can I lick your pretty pussy?"

Jasmine rose and sat across Gen's face. "Of course. That's a Slut's job. Lick your Mistress, you beautiful fuck toy."

Gen obeyed. The dirty talk kept her highly aroused. She rubbed her face in her Mistress's folds and licked her juices like a thirsty dog at a water bowl. Sucking Jasmine's clit hard, she held her tongue stiff and rubbed it across the older woman's bud. She ran her hands up Jasmine's thighs and squeezed her butt cheeks. Jasmine had a perfectly feminine ass, firm and round. Gen thought it her lover's best feature and never passed up the opportunity to fondle it.

"Put a finger in my ass, Slut. Do it now."

Too far gone in lust to hesitate, Gen obeyed. Jasmine rewarded her with a gasp of pleasure. "Fuck my ass with your finger, Slut. Hard. Now."

Jasmine thrust her hips back to meet Gen's finger. "Another finger, Slut. Now."

Gen obeyed and increased the pace of her fingers in her lover's ass and her tongue on her clit. The older woman moaned. "Get ready, Slut. I'm coming."

Jasmine's body stiffened and then trembled. Her voice lifted a pitch and she shouted. "Don't stop, Slut."

When her orgasm subsided, the sexy brunette fell back and rolled off her lover. Gen bent forward and began sucking her toes. She trailed her tongue up Jasmine's body, licked her nipples and kissed her passionately, entwining their tongues. She broke the kiss and Jasmine licked her own juices off the younger woman's face. They lay still and embraced.

"I love you, Mistress. I'll do anything you say."

Jasmine caressed Gen's head and ran her fingers through her thick blond hair. "You don't mind if I call you 'Slut'?"

"No, Mistress. That's what I am. I'm your Slut, your fuck toy. It excites me when you say it."

"But only when we're together, you understand. I won't come between you and Tom. There's no need. You spend more waking time with me than him, so there's no need for any jealousy. Agreed?"

Gen nuzzled her Mistress's breast and licked her nipple. "Of course, Mistress. Mistress?"

"Yes, Slut."

"Did you really enjoy me finger-fucking your ass?"

"Oh yes. There's a lot of nerves in that area. Once I'm aroused and the blood flow increases to my lower body, being fucked in the ass is a very pleasurable sensation. It hurts the first time no matter what, but once you get used to it, it's very good so long as it's done right and with care. You'll see."

"You mean, you're gonna fuck me in the ass?" Gen sounded frightened.

"Yes. Remember, your body belongs to me, now. You've never been fucked there?"

"No, Mistress. I thought only homosexual men did that to each other, I guess because they have to."

Jasmine laughed. "Because they don't have a cunt? Well, that's logical. So, you see how it's better to be a woman? More options." She hugged Gen tight. "But don't worry, my little slice of heaven. I won't take your anal virginity until you're ready and then, I'll do it right. Only after you've come a few times and are fully aroused. And I'll use lots of lubricant. It won't hurt long. I'm sure you'll come to like it and even beg for it. It's dirty sex and you like your sex dirty, don't you, my delicious Slut?"