First and Last

"I'm not embarrassed."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know. I--"

"Gabe, do you care about me?"

"Yes! Yes, I do, but that's not--"

Jess bit her lip for a second, then nodded to herself. "If you hadn't gotten together with my mom, would you have still kept coming over to see me?" She held up her hand. "I don't mean, like, to 'see' me. Not in a romantic way; I know that wouldn't have happened. But checking up on me, making sure I was okay, all of the stuff you did before you and her... before there was a 'you and her?'"

"Absolutely. I know how awful it feels to be abandoned, and I was worried about you. After you told me to get lost, I still asked after you through my sister; it seemed like you were better by the time I got back from school the first summer break, so I didn't want to... I guess to remind you of bad times. And since your mom made it clear that she and I were done when I left for college..." I shrugged. "You were fine. She and I were done. So, I thought I should just gracefully bow out."

She mulled that over for quite some time. I was about to speak when Jessica quietly asked, "Was Mom your first?"

"W- Why?"

"Please? I just... please. I want to know." Her lips pressed into a thin, tight smile, anxious but not angry.

"... Yes. Yes, she was."

Another quick nod to herself. "I need to confess something to you." Jess closed her eyes. "I didn't show up at the rec center by accident today. I saw you there earlier this week, and I..." She swallowed, opened her eyes, and looked straight at me. "I'd always planned--hoped at least--that you'd end up here tonight."

"What?"

"I hadn't planned on my ankle--" Jessica chuckled ruefully. "--but I wanted to see you again. To apologize and... and maybe more." I almost thought she'd lost her nerve, but then she reached out and touched my hand. "Come closer? Please?" I did as she asked; the faint scent of her strawberry body wash strangely seemed almost as arousing as her scant attire.

"I have a crush on you. You know that; I can't hide it. And, if anything, it's grown since you left. It's grown even more since you got back. The crush... it wasn't me moping after some idea of you, but hearing from your sister and seeing you on the court and sitting to talk with you and..." She shook her head. "I'm babbling. I'm sorry, I'm nervous."

"It's okay, Jess. Just say what you want to say." I squeezed her hand, and she smiled gratefully.

"What I told you before about not dating, it's true. I didn't even go to prom. It wasn't because of my crush--not exactly--but because all the boys were... they were just that: boys. They were boring and self-centered and clumsy. And then, when some of my friends had their first times... It sounded miserable. Their boyfriends wanted to try all this stuff from porn, or they finished too soon, or..."

Her voice faded away for a moment. When it returned, it was filled with resolve. She watched my face closely as she spoke. "This week, I'm going to college. I've never been with a man. Barely kissed one. I want to know what it's like, and I want it to be with someone I love."

I tried to interrupt, but she pushed through. "I'm not saying I'm in love with you, but I do love you. And it's not puppy dog love, or a misplaced big brother thing, or some kind of weird daddy issues, or anything else. You were there for me when no one else besides Mom was, and you cared for me when you could have spent your time doing just about anything else.

"And then... and then Mom." She chuckled. "I doubt she would have kept you around if you were a dud. You've only gotten better since then, I'm sure. So what I had planned to do was this: meet you at the rec center, figure out a way to get you home, and seduce you. I want my first time to be with you, because I know you'll do everything you can to make it great for me. It's just who you are."

"Jess--"

"Don't make me beg, Gabe. Please." She stroked my cheek. "Please. I've thought about this. A lot. It doesn't have to be anything more than this if you don't want it to. I won't hold that against you, I promise. If it's tonight and never again, as long as we at least stay friends, I can live with that. But please. Make love to me. I want you to be my first, because that's about the closest thing to perfect I can imagine."

I looked into her eyes, so filled with fear and love and lust and hope. I might have been able to deny myself, to deny the attraction I felt for the little girl all grown up that sat beside me, for her beautiful body and sweet nature. But I couldn't deny her. Her breath caught as I leaned in.

Our first kiss went as first kisses should go: a hesitant dance of excitement and apprehension as my lips approached hers. A gentle brushing together, and a response in kind. A brief drawing apart, checking on each other, gauging intention and comfort. Shy, eager smiles. Then a full commitment to the moment, to what felt right between two people that deeply cared for each other.

She initiated the second kiss, the one that took us from friends exploring our feelings to lovers, at least in spirit. It was fumbling and sweet and eager, at least at first. But as the kiss deepened, as she moaned into my mouth and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue between her lips, as she responded in kind, we shed each of those adjectives. Fumbling became assertive. Sweet became hot. Eager shot straight past enthusiastic and into ardent.

I wanted to make this as good for her as I could, to be patient and gentle as I explored her body. She apparently didn't get the memo. Before I knew it, she pressed hard up against me, and her hand traced the outline of my stiff cock through my shorts. Her lips fell away from mine, and she gasped, "Oh, Jesus, Gabe. Oh, oh Jesus, I want--"

Another loud gasp as my hands did some exploring of their own, cupping her firm tits and squeezing. "Patient" wasn't going to happen. "Gentle" would be relative. She pulled away from me again, eyes locked on mine as she tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head to release the most perfect breasts I'd ever seen from their confinement.

"Fuck!" A single, breathless word escaped my lips, woefully inadequate to express the beauty I beheld. I wasted no time with further pointless speech; my lips were required elsewhere. Jess moaned and whimpered when they latched onto one of her nipples, while one hand continued to squeeze and grope and gently pinch her other breast.

She held my head to her breast like a suckling child, but her other hand desperately reached for what she'd sought earlier. I shifted a bit, and we both got what we wanted: her fingers reaching inside the waistband of my shorts to wrap around my throbbing dick. "Oh Gabe, oh God. Please, Gabe-- oh!" She bit back the next word as I nipped at the hard pink pebble in my mouth, lost the syllables she meant to say in sensation. "P- Please! I w- want to see it!"

I let her nipple slip free from my lips and chuckled, "Soon," before redoubling my efforts. I had a hand free, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. The fingertips trailed down her taut stomach, to the top of her too-tight panties. Jess gave another loud moan as she realized what was next, and her legs spread open to give me access.

My lips came loose once more as I raised my head to watch her. This was it; everything else had been two kids making out on the couch, maybe going just a bit beyond where they should have. But this... this was a man touching her in her most intimate place for the first time. She gave an almost imperceptible nod, and my fingers slid inside her panties.

I found smooth skin there. Shaved; recently, it felt like. "For me?"

Jessica nodded shyly. "I- I thought you might like it."

I kissed her sweet, plump lips. "I love it." Her happy smile froze into one of shock as my fingers slid lower and into the cleft between her legs, seeking out her clit. "Let me show you how much."

Jess shivered with delight. Her sweet, virgin pussy was wet. Not damp. Not moist. Dripping wet. I probed between her lips with one finger; she broke eye contact with me as her head rolled back, groaning with a previously unknown need. God, she was gorgeous. I decided then that I would spend every second of this weekend worshiping her body if she'd let me.

To that end, I knelt on the floor in front of her. She looked down, confused, a complaint on her lips as I stopped touching her. But then she saw where my hands had moved to, felt how they tugged at the waistband of her shorts. She had flushed from excitement, but now she positively blushed with embarrassment. "Gabe, are you sure? I--"

"Lift your hips." That was the only encouragement she required. And when the flimsy cotton fabric lay discarded on the floor, I saw between those strong, athletic thighs all the encouragement I required: the most beautiful, delicate pussy I'd ever seen, slick with my lover's juices and waiting for my tongue. It would not wait long.

My veneration began with slow, long licks along the sopping slit, gathering up all the nectar I could. I felt her fingers tangle in my hair and heard a softly sighed, "Oh, Gabe!" Before long, I needed more, needed to drink deeply of her. My stubble must have rubbed roughly on her thighs and labia, but if it bothered her, she didn't complain. Instead, soft sighs became loud exhortations as my tongue lashed at her lips, gluttonously feasting on her core.

And when I found the pearl nestled at the apex of her slit and took it into my mouth, licking and sucking it? My worship became our worship; she raised her voice further still, this time in praise, loudly calling "Gabe! Oh, god, Gabe! Feels- please- feels so- oh god!" She quaked and quivered. The fingers that had tangled in my hair yanked, trying to bring my mouth closer to her, trying to get more, more, more, as she cried out for release. "Gabe! Gabe! I- I- I- AhhhHHH!" She shook violently, losing her speech for just a moment, then finding it again with enough volume to almost rattle the windows.

Jessica's hands went slack on my head as she panted, "Wait- wait- please." I raised my head from between those strong thighs, looking up to see a beautiful mess of a woman: disheveled hair, breathless, and glassy-eyed. "So--" She shuddered with an aftershock. "So good, Gabe. It felt so good." Her left hand caressed my cheek, then rubbed at it, and she chuckled. "Need to get you a razor this weekend, though."

I kissed her thigh; Jess jumped and laughed. When my face came away from her legs, she cupped it with both hands, pulling me up for a deep, long kiss. She was unafraid of my taste on her lips; no, beyond that, she was hungry. Hungry for me? For her own juices? For what would come next? I didn't know. I don't know if she did. But we'd find out soon, together.

While our lips were otherwise engaged, Jess's fingers had begun to tug at my clothes. I awkwardly stood, still locked at the lips, and helped her hands along. As my shorts and underwear slid down, she finally broke away with a gasp, then a giggle; not exactly the reaction a guy is hoping for. I gave her a look, but she wasn't paying attention to my face anymore.

Another little giggle slipped from her lips; she finally realized how inappropriate that might seem and briefly glanced upward with an abashed expression. "Sorry. It's..." Her eyes fixed on the long, thick shaft only inches from her face. "I- I've never seen one before. In person. It's so different from what I expected." One hesitant finger reached out to touch it; I flexed just as she made contact, and she jumped back, laughing. "Asshole!"

I cupped her cheek and Jessica looked up at me once more, a happy grin on her face. "Forgive me?" She nodded and reached out again, touching the tip. Her fingers swirled over the precum that leaked from my slit, and I let out a short breath. She glanced up, concerned, but my smile told her everything was just fine.

Something new lay behind her eyes then, an understanding that almost all women eventually gain: the power that a woman has over a man that desires her. She'd had a taste of this, I'm sure; a girl as lovely as her had to know what it was like to have boys and men alike unable to keep their eyes off of her, that uncomfortable but enticing soft power. This was different, though. A man she loved stood before her, hard and waiting. She could turn me down, of course. She could let me do what I wished with her, too, abdicating that power. She did neither.

Instead, her new, wiser eyes fixed on mine as dexterous fingers slid to the base and encircled the shaft. She moved them up and down, stroking with almost painful slowness, watching my expression. Another hand joined the first, alternating between stroking and teasing the glans. "Does it feel good?" She knew it did. It wasn't really a question. It was an affirmation of her new, growing power.

"Yes- ah, Jesus, Jess. It feels great."

With a little chuckle, she said, "Then I hope this feels amazing." Jessica leaned forward, tongue flicking out at the slit, tasting me for the first time as I'd tasted her only minutes before. And, like my first taste of her, she found it was nowhere near enough. Her lips locked around my glans, sucking as I moaned her name; another chuckle at my reaction drew more moans.

She took as much as she could in; that wasn't very much, if I'm honest. I wouldn't have expected it, but then I hadn't expected any of this when I drove to the rec center that morning. When I placed a hand on her head, she paused for a moment, but then continued purring as I directed her with both gentle pressure and the escalating pleasure in my voice. "Oh, fuck, Jess. Oh fuck, right there. So- ah! God, baby, it's so good."

It had been a while since I'd been with anyone, and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I wanted to; God, the way she looked up at me every so often as she sucked and licked and stroked felt like heaven. But my orgasm approached quickly, and I needed to warn her. "Jess, I'm gonna- fuck, baby, I'm gonna cum, you need to--!"

She didn't hesitate. Her hands sped up, the suction became more intense, and her head bobbed up and down along the shaft, working to take me a little deeper in each time. Jessica;s lack of experience was more than made up for by a wish to please and a willingness to learn. I rewarded that eagerness with a long, loud groan and pulse after pulse of cum in her mouth.

Jessica coughed and choked; enthusiasm was one thing, but experience is another. She looked up at me, saliva and spend dribbling from her lips and eyes tearing up. "I- *cough* Jesus, Gabe!" Another cough, then a laugh. "Trying to drown me?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't--"

She kissed the tip of my dick once more. "Don't. I'm a big girl. I wanted to know." Jess licked her lips experimentally. "I'm not sure what Gina was complaining about. The taste isn't bad, just different." She made a strange face and laughed. "Texture's weird, though."

I realized I was the only one of us still wearing any clothes. As she cleaned her face with her discarded shirt, mine came off over my head. She ran her hands over my six pack, humming approvingly. "God, Gabe. I feel like I'm dreaming. I can't believe you're here with me."

"Should I pinch you?"

She laughed again, that sweet, silvery sound I was growing to love more and more. "No. If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up."

I knelt down and scooped her up into my arms, like a groom carrying his bride across the threshold. Her arms wrapped around my neck. I said, "Well, just in case you are dreaming, I should probably take you to bed."

Her head nestled against my shoulder, and I felt a small nod, along with a tiny, "Yes. Please. I need you." Fuck, is there anything sexier a girl can say to a guy?

I carried her up the stairs and to her room. There had been so many changes since the last time I'd been inside it. Only a few traces of the girl I'd helped through her pain remained inside: Mr. Snuffles, her stuffed elephant; a poster of a boy band that was still borderline-acceptable at her age; and a small souvenir I'd brought her from my trip to New York. That felt somehow as important as her request; no matter how angry she'd been at our last parting, a gift from me still retained a place of prominence in her life.

Jessica saw where my gaze had rested and looked up at me. "I love you, Gabe. That didn't change just because I got my feelings hurt."

I kissed her softly as we crossed the floor to her bed, then laid her down on it. Long blonde hair fanned out across her pillow like a halo. Jessica opened her arms to me as I knelt between her legs; she looked like an angel, welcoming me into her embrace. My brow furrowed as reality elbowed its way in. "Ah, do you have any condoms?"

Jess shook her head. "I'm on the pill. Have been since I got my first period." Her teeth worried at her lower lip. "Are you... You're safe? Clean?" I nodded. "Then I don't want to use one. I... This is my first time. It's with someone I love, and I want to feel everything. Is that alright?"

I almost laughed. "Alright? It's perfect. I actually haven't, ah, done that before."

"Really?" The notion seemed to excite her.

"Yeah. Just..." I shrugged. "I guess I just never trusted a girl enough to take the chance." I edged forward, moving the head of my cock perilously close to her virgin entrance. "But I trust you. I--" It was true, and I needed to say it. "I love you, Jess. Like you love me, like... It's more than just caring about you. It's too early for anything else, but--"

One soft hand caressing my cheek broke my train of thought. "Oh, Gabe. That's--" A serene, beatific smile. "I get to be your first, too, in a way. I can't tell you how happy that makes me." The hand trailed down my chest, then stomach, to reach between us. She took me in hand and placed my glans at her labia, then said, "Please. Please, Gabe. I need to feel you inside me. I want you to be the one that takes my-- Oh!"

A nudge was all it took to interrupt her, just the gentlest pressure on her lips parting them. Her brow furrowed as mine had before, her expression a blend of desire, anticipation, worry, and reassurance. She wanted this, and she wanted to make sure, regardless of whatever else happened, that I could see that. God, how could I not love her?

I shifted further, finding the expected impediment. This was my first time with a virgin; another first, although she didn't need to know that. I wanted to make her feel at ease. I pushed forward slowly, stretching her open, trying to be gentle; all for naught, though. The thin piece of flesh gave way, and she cried out. Tears collected at the corner of her eyes, trickling down onto her pillow. Part of me hated myself for hurting her; but I also felt a primal, animal sort of pride at claiming her as mine.

Our motion ceased until she nodded, lips tight with a thin smile. Jessica gasped as I pushed forward once more, then moaned as she took me further and further inside. Her hands spread across my chest, and I stopped, but then she shook her head and moved them to my hips, pulling at me. "M- more. Please!"

Her halo twisted about, golden hair flying wildly across her pillow as I opened her up inch by inch. I had not quite bottomed out in her when she gasped, "H- How much more?"

"Almost there. You're doing- nnf- doing so good, Jess." Sweat beaded on my forehead and dripped onto her chest. I opened my mouth to speak again, but before I could, she pulled my hips hard, impaling herself fully on me with a cry both triumphant and mournful.

I lost my balance, falling forward with palms on either side of her head. She looked up at me, mouth opening and closing, finally stuttering, "Pl- Please. Please!" That spelled the end of my resolve.

Her body writhed under me as I withdrew from her for the first time, a quiet whine the only sound she made. I tried to be gentle; God knows I did. But she didn't. Couldn't. It was too new for her, too much and not enough all at once. As she had let me guide her head with my hand, I let her guide my hips with hers. But as a guide, she had only the simplest of directions: more, faster, and now.