First Kiss Pt. 02

First Kiss--Part 2

I entered my apartment after a long day of travel exacerbated by flight delays, taxi lines, and the usual joys of airline travel in the 21^st century, happy to be back in comfortable surroundings. Dropping my carry-on and backpack on the floor of the short hallway leading to the bedroom, I removed my jacket and flopped on the bed, stretching my limbs to help remove some of the knots. My visit home had been a whirlwind endeavor, filled with mixed feelings and uncertainty, certainly not what I was expecting when I left here two weeks earlier. Life interrupts even the best of plans and the pleasant break I hoped for proved not to be an exception to that rule.

My eyes were heavy, my body sore, and my head aching from the confusion that surrounded my every waking moment. True restful sleep had eluded me for several days and I hoped that everything would return to normal now that I was far from the people and places that were upsetting me. Nevertheless, the fatigue would not quiet my mind and my thoughts ranged from my mother and father saying goodbye to me before I walked to the taxi, the last meeting with my sister Rachel as she cried on my shoulder when we separated, hugging Rachel's fiancé reassuringly as I left them, and my sudden departure without seeing my longtime friend, Trey who was soon going back to Amsterdam ostensibly to gauge the chemistry between him and his lover before moving in with him.

Laying quietly on the bed brought some peace and after a short time, I drifted off to sleep, breathing heavily. Suddenly, I was brought back to the world of the living by the buzzing of the cell phone on my night table, and, startled, I grabbed it as a reflex.

I did not answer it for several seconds allowing my brain to clear enough to properly adjust to my surroundings. As the fog lifted, I saw that the call was from Trey and I got a knot in my stomach, dreading the conversation to come. "Hello," was all I managed to mumble in my embarrassment.

"Chris, hi. Are you okay? You sound like crap. Where are you?" Trey asked quietly, the concern obvious in his voice.

"Trey, I'm sorry," I replied, then paused for a few seconds before continuing. "I meant to see you before I left or at least call you, but my head was spinning and I was struggling to get through the day. I left in a hurry and was operating on muscle memory, but I know that this is no excuse. Again, I'm sorry. I owed you more and I feel terrible."

"We can talk about that another time but tell me where you are and that you're not in some trouble," he said.

"Yes, I'm fine. Well, not really "fine" fine but okay now that I'm talking to you," I responded. "I went back to school earlier than I planned and I got to my apartment a couple of hours ago and laid down for a minute and fell asleep judging by the time."

"Chris, I imagine that you had a long day, and from what you have said so far, I'm guessing that whatever happened at home was very upsetting for you so I won't add to it by pressing you for details," he said. "Maybe you want peace and quiet in a familiar setting to clear your head but in case you want a friendly face or a sympathetic ear instead, just say the word. I'm glad that I know where you are and that you're okay. I was worried about you, and I don't like that feeling."

"Thank you," I replied quietly. "I realize that I should not have left as I did and regret not making the time to talk to you beforehand. If I am honest I must admit that I was confused and reacted poorly, in a manner that hurt people that I care about in the process. I am truly sorry and wish that you were here so I could tell you in person."

"Okay, I think I understand so let's continue this conversation when I get there tomorrow," he said quietly. "Get some sleep and then pick up some fresh food and a bottle of wine, not the cheap crap either," he added with a laugh.

"Thank you, Trey, you're the best," I replied with emotion coming through in my voice.

"Goodnight and I'll text you in the morning with details," he said and hung up.

My mood improved after the call and I took a hot shower to relax before returning to bed for a few hours sleep. I knew that Trey would not arrive before evening at best so I had time to clean up and do some shopping while determining what I would say to him when he asked what happened at home. One step at a time I mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke in mid-morning, I was greeted by a sunny day and a text from Trey saying that his flight would get in around 5:00 pm and could be at my apartment between 6:00 and 6:30. I felt good and looked forward to seeing him again, beginning to think about our recent time together in the summer cabin and how nice it was being isolated with him, untroubled by the outside world. Trey was my best friend and I didn't want to jeopardize our relationship by baring my soul about the relationship I had with Rachel, but I felt that I had to unburden myself of the guilt that I felt one way or another. If I confessed it to him, how would he react? Would he realize that his longtime friend and lover, might not be someone whom he wished to associate with and rush headlong into his relationship in Amsterdam? Could I deal with that on top of everything else?

As I was descending into the coming cloud of darkness, my phone buzzed with a call from my father. I debated whether I should let it go to voicemail but ultimately answered and heard his familiar voice. "How was the trip back? Everything okay with you?" he said.

"Yeah, Dad, all is well, and only the usual travel delights to contend with," I replied. "Everything quiet at home?"

"Yes, I'm outnumbered by females again and their troop strength is increasing now that Anne spends more time here. I may have to visit you more often or take a studio in the city as an escape. In the meantime, I will try to be quiet and keep my head down so they don't notice me very often," he said with a laugh.

"Go into ninja mode and blend with the furniture," I replied.

We had a nice talk and as we finished he said that I should call my sister since she has not been herself since I left. He was clear that there were no major issues but she seemed distracted at times and then joked that the usual moaning and groaning when Anne visited was not as often or intense as it used to be. We shared a good laugh at the last bit and I realized that there were very few family secrets.

"Yeah, I understand and I'll call in a day or two once I settle in," I said. "She might just need a few days to adjust to the house being quieter again plus things have changed for her since she is being open about her relationship with Anne. It is an adjustment but I am confident that she will be back to normal very soon."

"You're probably right," he replied, "But dealing with your mother's dark mood is tough enough so any help that you can provide is welcome."

"Understood," I said, "Goodbye, thanks for the call and we'll talk soon."

The day passed quickly and before long it was 6:15 pm and the apartment buzzer announced that Trey had arrived. I opened the door and as soon as he walked in and dropped his bags, I grabbed him and passionately kissed him on the lips. He held me close and we kissed without speaking for almost a minute.

"I missed you, Trey," I said, "I'm so glad that you came. Thank you."

"Of course," he replied, "I sensed that something wasn't right when I hadn't heard from you and then when I got the news that you left, I knew something was wrong. My paranoia made me blame the weekend at the cabin as causing a problem between us and it hurt. I wanted to be with you and talk to you in an attempt to make things right. If I did anything wrong while we were away, I apologize."

I took his head in my hands and kissed him again, reassuring him that it was nothing that he had done, and told him that the weekend at the cabin was the nicest couple of days I could remember.

I pushed his bags into the living room and took his jacket to hang up. "Trey, why don't you take a quick shower to loosen up after the trip and I'll get us a couple of glasses of wine to unwind. There are fresh towels on the towel bar and a robe behind the door, and I'll meet you in the bedroom where you can stretch out and relax."

"Sounds perfect," he said before kissing my cheek, grabbing the toiletry kit from his carry-on, and heading to the bathroom.

Pouring two glasses of wine, I listened to the sound of the shower and wondered how best to approach the conversation. My gut feeling was to try to avoid it altogether and just have a nice visit with hot sex. Inwardly, I knew that that was not a viable option and I needed to talk to Trey as much as he was entitled to an explanation for my behavior. Seeing him again stirred feelings that were more intense than when I was in bed with him at his family's cabin a little over a week ago. I also remembered what I said to Rachel over dinner, how I thought of her while I was having sex with Trey. Talk about being confused, the word does not do my situation justice.

The sound of running water stopped and I knew that within a few minutes, I would have to face a dreaded conversation that might not go very well and affect my relationship with my best friend. I took a long drink from my wine glass and stretched out on the bed, breathing slowly and deeply.

When Trey came out of the bathroom he was naked, hair slightly damp and mussed, and looking as sexy as I have ever seen him. He walked to my side of the bed and gave me a deep, passionate kiss on my mouth that took my breath away before lying next to me. Trey then said quietly, "I missed you, Chris, and until I hadn't seen you for a couple of days, I didn't realize how much."

I shifted to my side and quickly took off my tee shirt and sweatpants, and let Trey pull me close as he kissed me again. As our bodies moved in unison, our mutual arousal was obvious. My erection was rock hard, almost bursting in anticipation while his stiff penis leaked precum indicating how excited he was at the prospect of sex and mutual orgasms. I wanted him, I wanted to feel his cock in my mouth, sliding down my throat, and the sensation of his semen pulsing into my mouth. I wanted to taste him and moreover, I wanted him to take me like a bitch and make me cry out in sheer ecstasy, something that I had not experienced before.

Trey must have read my mind because he soon rolled over onto his back and coaxed my head down to his abdomen, and I did the rest. I felt his erection get harder, stretching the skin on the head of his penis almost to the point of splitting if that were possible, and then he gently moved my head from his cock and asked if I would like to try something different. He assured me that the choice was mine but if I was agreeable, he would be gentle and guide me through it to minimize discomfort.

I looked up at him and said, "Trey, I would like that very much and want you to be my first."

Trey smiled at me and slid from the bed, stopping only to kiss me before going to the bathroom to get some lube from his toiletry kit. He applied it liberally to his stiff dick while telling me to roll onto my stomach and then he gently rubbed more lube around my anus and pushed some inside with his finger which then began an in/out thrusting motion.

I relaxed and eventually let the pleasure of the strokes take over my senses. Without hardly noticing, one finger became two and I could feel my sphincter stretch to accommodate the increased size. True to his word, Trey was gentle and reassuring as he whispered to me throughout the entire process. I was calm and comfortable and enjoyed Trey's touch as he prepared me for what was to come.

Trey crawled onto the bed while keeping his touch on my back, occasionally rubbing my anus and slipping a finger past my sphincter to keep the sensations alive, and then he laid on top of me, placing his erect penis into my butt crack with the head gently touching my anus. I stiffened slightly and Trey whispered for me to relax as he gently moved his dick up and down the crack, stopping near, sometimes against, my anus before moving on. As he saw me relax and begin to move in time with his motions, he slowly increased the pressure of his penis against my anus until the head entered me and I gasped slightly. He whispered some reassuring words and increased pressure until the entire length of his dick was inside my ass and then he stopped, allowing me to savor the moment and rest.

As I became more comfortable with the sensation of having a firm cock in my ass, I slowly began to move around and asked Trey to fuck me like I did to him. He kissed my neck and slowly withdrew his dick about halfway and gently slid it back into me again before stopping. When I encouraged him to continue I told him to be more forceful, he readily obliged with his thrusts becoming harder and deeper.

I soon became lost in the sensation of being fucked by another man, nearly oblivious to his heavy breathing until he pushed hard and then stopped thrusting while moaning loudly, and I could feel the pulsing of his penis as he filled my ass with hot semen. Trey soon collapsed on my back and lay very still as his dick drained the last drops of cum from his body into mine. I did not get to cry out in ecstasy but the lingering feeling of calm and satisfaction was different from anything I had experienced before. My penis had gotten soft as I was being fucked and strangely, the desire for an earth-shattering orgasm was not as important as my giving Trey release.

Trey rolled off from my back and we laid together face to face, as he kissed me and whispered how much he enjoyed our sex and appreciated how I wanted him to be my first. I told him that he made it special for me and that he was true to his word about being gentle. He held me and I enjoyed the closeness of him as we cuddled. I could now understand why women want that little something extra after sex and if I ever had that experience again I would remember how important it is.

I slowly separated from Trey and told him I was going to take a shower and afterward maybe we could go to a local bistro for dinner. He readily agreed and said it would be his treat. I laughed and said, "Now I get why women enjoy going on dates. If they let the guys think they are going to get laid, they get a free meal."

"Like you didn't know that," he said with a laugh. "Where have you been all your life?"

"I knew it but since I have never been on this side of the equation, I didn't know how good it felt to get the offer," I replied.

We sat in the restaurant having a glass of wine after we ordered dinner and Trey asked how I was doing and if I felt better since yesterday. I looked into his eyes and said it was night and day and that I owed it all to him. "You are my closest friend and just you coming here made a difference," I said.

"I'm glad I could help and you know that I will always be here for you," he replied. "I can see that your mood has improved and you seem more like your old self again. If I can be candid with you, I was afraid that something I said when we were away might have triggered your reaction and it bothered me. You are too important to me and I would be a wreck if I unintentionally caused you any pain."

"Far from it, Trey," I said. "The weekend that we had together was great and it meant a lot to me. I have thought about it many times, particularly the talks that we had, and I felt that I did you a disservice by some of the things that I said. If I had a chance to alter some parts, I would."

"So, I had some pangs of guilt over what I said and if I understand correctly, you regret some of the things that you said. We didn't argue, we agreed that it was a great weekend, so if I may ask, where is the problem?"

"When you say it out loud, I wonder myself," I replied. "If I were a psychiatrist I might propose that the problem lies in something that was not said."

"Hang out your shingle, Chris," came the response with a laugh. "Kidding aside, what was left unsaid that created such a problem that had you run away from home like a thief in the night without a word to me?"

"Leaving home was a family thing, squabbling between siblings moderated by parents and in the presence of an outside third party," I said, making light of the situation and waving to the waiter to get two more glasses of wine, something that I needed before continuing. "I may have overreacted and in hindsight, I should have controlled my impulse to flee the scene."

"Understandable from my perspective, Chris," he replied. "No biggy."

I took a sip from my fresh glass of wine and continued, "There's one other thing, Trey. While we were away, you told me about Franz and asked my opinion about accepting his offer to move in with him when you return to Amsterdam. I told you to see him when you arrive to assess the chemistry between you and if it seemed okay, to take the plunge. I still believe that this advice is good but I left out a major part and I have regretted it ever since.

"If I was totally honest with you, I would have said the same but I would have added that I care about you and wish that the two of us could live together as a couple rather than you moving in with Franz. I want you to be happy but I have held my feelings about you back for so long that it seemed natural to continue doing it. Now I realize that I can't do it any longer and don't want you to make an important decision without having all the facts. Saying this doesn't make your decision easier but now you know how I feel."

Trey was quiet for a while, sipped his wine, and then looked directly into my eyes. "Chris, why did you wait so long to tell me? We spoke over that weekend and I told you how I felt about Franz and asked your opinion. If I did as you suggested, something that had a high probability, I might have gone back to Amsterdam and began heading down a path that would make us both unhappy. Did you ever consider that by posing the question to you, I was allowing you to say what you just did? When you didn't tell me how you felt when we were alone without any outside interference and you had plausible deniability to the words being said, you indirectly implied that we didn't have the same feelings for each other. When we kissed when I dropped you off at your house after the airport, I felt something special and believed that you did too. When we were alone in the cabin and made love for the first time, those feelings were reinforced but then you left without saying a word and this broke my heart.

"I came here today to be with you and brought my stuff to go back to Amsterdam from here rather than returning home. You are the most important person in my life and I will tell you that I would rather be with you than anyone else if that is what you want. I am willing to try to find a logistical solution so that we can be together, but you must tell me if you feel the same."

"Trey, the easiest way to put it is by saying I love you," I said. "I don't want you to move in with Franz and I will work with you to find a way for us to be together if you agree. Making love with you today was truly special and I could not imagine being like that with anyone else. Thank you for being here and for your honesty."

Having gotten a lot off our chests, we relaxed and had a pleasant dinner although, in the back of my mind, I knew that I had another problem to face. What, if anything, do I say to Trey about Rachel now that I told him that the situation was caused by sibling squabbling? The old saying about letting sleeping dogs lie came to mind and made perfect sense so perhaps the best thing would be to simply keep it within the family and speak to Rachel as I promised my father. I would rather bask in the afterglow of the developments with Trey than risk a bigger problem by telling him about my special relationship with Rachel. In the words of the Bard, sometimes it is better to shut the fuck up than stick thy foot in thine own mouth.