For Every Thorn a Rose Ch. 01

(I have this posted on a few other sites and combined chapters 1 and 2 of my story here so there's smut. I hope all the characters aren't confusing. Enjoy!)

"Fury, pure and silver,

You grip it tight inside.

Like a knife, it glints in your eye,

It's why I've arrived, your sex god here to take you where

You need to go, where the dark remembers you." -- Mitski, Stay Soft

1

Luna tells herself that she is blessed. She has a smooth brown throat with no Adam's apple and a round, girlish face. Her eyelashes are naturally dark and thick, and her lips are beautifully plump like her sister's. For a trans woman, she's already incredibly effeminate, but despite the hints she's dropped to her friends and family, no one's slid the puzzle pieces into place.... And then it dawned on her.

If she really, truly wanted to stop being misgendered and called by the wrong name, she needed to step up. She tells this to herself as she clips in her extensions, applies the lip gloss she stole from her friend Olive, and slips into the black flats she bought off Amazon. Then, she pulls up the blue skirt that nearly gave her a heart attack buying, tying the string in the front into a big bow and tucking her white tee that read Trans Rights Are Human Rights.

She's still the same person, she's still Jack, just... With new pronouns and a new name. But in a way, she still has to kill the version of herself in people's heads to be who she truly is, and for that reason, she is afraid.

She had told Paul the week prior, tears running down her face as she choked out the words. He'd given her a big hug in return, and the only difference in their dynamic was he now left her notes reading things like, "Daughter. I am so proud of you. Please put the roast in the oven at 450 degrees. Love Dad."

Paul wasn't her real dad; she had been adopted after 13 years in the system with her sister, Morgan.

"Are you coming down or what?" shouts Gabe from the hallway. Luna had invited her friend group over, saying she needed to chat about something important. The doorknob clicks as he tries to turn it, but it's locked (Much to Luna's relief).

"Uh, I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"

Gabe mumbles something about her being a "shady motherfucker" and Luna holds her breath until his footsteps dissipate.

The last thing she does is open up her golden makeup palette. She pushes her glasses up into her bangs and dips into the glittery light blue eyeshadow, stroking her eyelids gently with the brush. Looking at herself in the mirror, she takes a shaky breath.

"It's now or never," she whispers to the girl in the mirror. She tucks her small stash of makeup back into her polka-dotted bag, shoving it instinctively back under her mattress before removing it from its hiding spot in her bed. There'd be no more reason to hide after this... Or at least, she hopes. Dreams.

"Good gosh, Jack! That's quite the get-up," says Aiden before she's even reached the bottom of the stairs. He's always been very blunt, lacking a filter because of his ADHD.

"Shut up, Aiden," says Gabe's older brother Dante. He's in a tank top that shows off the sleeve on his right arm-- it's a collection of symbols from anime and games he's played, and is a colorful display of art right on his skin.

"What? He makes a pretty dame!" says Aiden, raising up his hands in defense.

Lily shushes Aiden and Dante. Her blue eyes are staring into Luna's, her eyes serious and analytical. "Does this involve why you called us here?" she asks calmly.

"Yes, uh..." Luna clears her throat. "Hi, guys! I wanted to tell you something. It's a little awkward, but here it goes: I'm uh... Well, do you guys know what trans means?"

"Like trans fats?" asks Aiden.

Lily's sister Daisy snorts. Her hair is different, the tips of her blonde locks having been dipped into hot pink dye. Luna wonders if she got it done professionally, but considering her family's tight finances, she supposes not. Daisy clears her throat. "No, he means---I mean, she means transgender," she explains. "It's when you're not comfy in the bod you have and wish you were born on the other team."

"Oh, goodness! I feel like such a dunce," Aiden laughs. "Sorry for not knowing the lingo, everybody!"

Luna groans and face palms at the same time Morgan stands up, seemingly unable to hold her excitement. She runs over to Luna and envelops her in a hug, lifting the other girl up slightly.

"Well I, for one, accept you as you are. I'm proud of you, Jack." She lets her down but her hands stay on her shoulders as she gives her new sister a beaming smile.

"Oh! Did you pick out a new name?"

"I actually picked out Luna," she says with a nervous smile. "It means moon. It feels... uh, right."

"I don't get it," blurts out Olive, running a hand through her dark bob. "Sorry, I just... It's weird to me, but I'll try to understand."

Daisy nudges Gabe with her elbow. "You've been awful quiet, Gabey. Anything to add?"

"Yeah, um... I know this is random and I don't mean to steal Luna's thunder like some kind of attention klepto, but I think," Gabe's hand gravitates towards his face, shielding it a little as he looks away. "I think I'm gay," he says in a rush.

"What?" screeches Daisy, right into Gabe's ear. "Bitch, now I'm out of ten dollars!"

"Fuck! You... what?"

Lily cracks a mischievous grin. "Don't fret, Gabe; it was just a friendly bet. One I was victorious in, I may add."

"Is this a coming out party?" Daisy asks. "I forget who I blabbed about it to, but I'm bi."

"I think you've told all of us," says Olive. "Anyways, I'm straight."

"Me too!" says Aiden. He takes Olive by the hand and pecks the back of it. They had come out as a couple that summer and Luna would say she was happy for them, but Dante had told her he thought Aiden was pressured into it. This fit into Aiden's personality of always wanting to please the people around him.

Lily looks over at Dante expectantly. But as quickly as she looks over at him, her gaze boomerangs back to Luna. "This get-together is going in a fascinating direction."

"I used to think I was bi because I had a crush on Morgan," Gabe blurts out. "And I was like, 'This has to mean no homo,' but then I hit puberty and started thinking about cock-- I mean, boys a lot."

His face is bright red now, and Lily is smirking up a storm while Daisy lets out a howl of laughter, causing Gabe wince once again for his poor eardrums.

Emma cringes and scrunches up her nose. "Okay, that's enough. So, ah, Luna. Are you going to be a girl in college? And have you thought this through enough?"

Luna nods. She can't help but be a little annoyed at the line of questioning, but decides to answer it regardless: "I emailed my professors, actually. And I'm going through the process of changing my name and getting HR--" She pauses to look at Aiden. "Hormone Replacement Therapy because I have been thinking about this for a long time."

Gabe quietly raises his hand.

Luna sighs. "Yes, Gabriel."

"Doesn't HR whatever affect your junk?"

"Gabe!" Morgan cries out in horror.

Gabe's dark eyebrows furrow. "I'm just wondering! Can't a guy ask a question around here?"

"It can," answers Luna, "But it also helps develop... other things." She thinks about her future boobs and grins, her heart begins to slow to a normal pace. "So, is this cool with you guys? I know it's a big change but it's who I am. I'm still the same old Jack Williams who loves movies and cute girls, I'm just going to look a little different and go by a new name. Sound good?"

Everyone either nods or gives an affirmative.

"We should go shopping, just us gals!" announces Daisy. "I bet'cha need a whole new wardrobe, Lunabug."

Luna can't help but feel her heart warm a little at the nickname. She smiles. "Yeah, I would like that... I'd like that a lot."

2

Kai isn't a very social guy.

Okay, maybe that's an understatement.

Kai is an antisocial guy, but for an antisocial guy, he certainly has a fuck load of friends. All of them agreed to come to the same college in high school and surprisingly saw the promise through. Martin University is the main college of their state, anyway, so it's not like it was some obscure campus smack in the middle of Nowhere, Kansas.

Jasper called "dibs" on being his roommate (like anyone else would want his ass), but he had given him a loud "NO". The stoner idiot had been declaring they were "best mother fucking friends" since they were twelve, and to be completely honest, the slow moron had grown on him. At first, he was like a tumor he couldn't chemo away, showing up at his doorstep all the time just to get high in his bathroom and use his Xbox. But lately, Kai had been weirdly fond of him-- it was an extremely low-effort friendship on his part for a pal with dog-like loyalty and zero drama. What more could he want?

The problem was the freshmen dorms are substance-free, and he knows without asking that Jasper won't honor that. Kai is far from a stickler for rules, but getting busted for pot in a non-legal state isn't exactly at the top of his to-do list.

He's told a week in advance that the name of his roommate is Jack Williams, so he shoots him a message on Gmail the same day.

Hey Jack.

I'm Kai. Below is my number. They said you're supposed to reach out to your roommate in advance so here you go. I'm a Nursing Major. If you're a partier, tell me and I'll ask for a new roommate. I'm not a neat freak and I'm not religious, but you can bet your sorry ass I pray to whatever God is out there every morning you're not a slob who'll wipe his dirty mitts all over my stuff. Any dirty underwear and half-empty beer bottles will be ceremoniously defenestrated regardless of who is below us. You've been warned, so don't be a dick.

Best,

Kai

The email had originally been much longer and much more aggressive, but he had changed his mind at the last minute and deleted several paragraphs. It's not until the morning he's supposed to move in that he gets a message from a different email, lunabug3@gmail.com.

Hi there, Kai!

Sorry for the late response. It is so awesome to hear from you! I actually go by Luna. I've never had alcohol before so I would not say I'm a partier, although I do sometimes have "anime parties" where me and my friend and whoever else we can convince to watch Japanese cartoons, heh. Does that count? I'm not very messy, either.

I do have to tell you that I am transgender. I was born male but use she/her. I know some people are not comfortable with this so if you want to change roommates, I understand. Please let me know if this is a problem.

Sincerely,

Luna Williams

Kai squints at his iPhone. She really should've told him in advance so she wouldn't be stuck with a bigot, but he supposes if she's nervous she might have held back until the last second.

Kai technically knows one trans person (the infamous drama king Elliot), but he isn't out publicly and passes so well he never has any issues.

He types:

Luna,

I know what anime is. I don't give a shit what your pronouns are. Just keep your side clean.

See you soon.

Kai

3

"I just don't understand it! I thought you hated each other?"

It's one of Elliot's rare conversations with Anna post-breakup. She's his ex-girlfriend, his first love, and at one point, his best friend. She's dialed him out of the blue which he's shocked by, considering he'd been certain after several emotional calls from him she'd blocked his ass. They hadn't dated for more than a month their senior year of high school because he was a needy bastard who ruined it, causing their friends to grouch (especially Kai) that he shouldn't be so torn up about something so short-lived. But he couldn't help it-- Elliot had really, really liked her and couldn't help but feel incredibly wounded that she moved on to Nico the very next week.

"He hates Kai, not me. And all the other guys paired up already, you know that."

"It's just weird!"

"Weirder than Kai and Jasper picking random roommates?"

"You know what I mean, Elliot! I was just wondering if something was up. Like, are you buddy-buddy now? Because I wouldn't mind it, you actually have a lot in common."

And oh, something was very, very up.

"He j-just doesn't want to be stuck with someone he doesn't know," he says, hoping that's believable enough. But his stutter is making an appearance, a dead giveaway that he's anxious.

"Ugh! Just don't come crying to me when it doesn't work out," she snaps. Elliot winces, and as though Anna can see, she adds, "Sorry for that. I'm PMSing and stressed out about leaving my mom."

"You and m-me both. Not the period part, or the mom part... you know what I mean. But I've gotta go. I have some bullshit to take care of, p-p-packing w-wise." Another lie. His packing's all done, has been since yesterday.

"I'll be by in the afternoon. Nico and I are trying out a restaurant nearby that Molly recommends. You can join us, if you want."

Fuck no. "No thanks. Bye, Anna."

"Hmph! Okay, see ya later!"

As soon as he hangs up, Nico re-enters the room. He'd sentenced him out into the hall for the duration of the call, but he must've been eavesdropping because as soon as Anna has said goodbye he's opened his bedroom door.

"How is she?" he asks, padding over in his mismatched socks and skinny jeans to sit beside him on the bed. His shirt is off and so are Elliot's pants--there's no air-conditioning in his house, plus he loved the feeling of bare skin against bare skin, and supposes Nico does, too.

He refuses to take off his shirt. He has breasts underneath that he loathes, and he doesn't know if Nico is aware of them. He likes to think he passes fairly well, and hasn't had to explain the whole trans thing since transitioning his freshman year of high school. But the fact he won't take off his shirt in a burning hot house is enough to clock him if Nico weren't a little stupid, which he is. Regardless, Elliot refuses to broach the topic, and he packs so there is a dick-shaped lump in his boxers he hoped was believable.

"You saw her yesterday, you w-would know."

"Menstruating and extra bitchy?"

"Basically."

Nico breathes out his nose in a weak laugh. "Sooo, where were we?" He places a slender hand on Elliot's bare thigh. He's been trying to fuck him all day and Elliot has nearly let him several times, but to be honest, he's a virgin and Nico is very much not. So, not only is he feeling guilty for betraying one of his friends (if he can even call her that), but he's also worried that he'll do something dumb and Nico will laugh-- or worse, realize he's a loser and walk out on him. Because as much as the whole situation wracks him with guilt and how much he fears Anna's wrath, losing the only person to ever want him sexually is the worst of the two fates.

"Making out," he says. His pussy throbs in his underwear in protest.

Nico licks his lips with a forked tongue. He split it himself in middle school like an absolute lunatic, telling everyone he wanted to be that much closer to a snake. "I thought we were building up to something," he admits. "I don't wanna be a dick and pressure you, though." He pulls his long legs up onto the bed and wraps his arms around them, pressing his sharp chin onto his knees as he looks at Elliot in a way that makes him shiver. It wasn't loving, far from it, but different than any way he's been looked at before.

"We can try something new," Elliot offers. "I just don't want you to fuck me up the ass."

Nico smirks. "Something else, huh?" He pauses for a moment in thought. "I'll give you two ideas, okay? I can give you a handjob to take care of your tiny boner, or you can suck my dick with that pretty mouth of yours."

"It's a good size," Elliot spits out, defensive. "And I don't think I'd be very good at blowing you. I don't exactly have experience in the area."

"The key to oral is to be enthusiastic," he explains. "Which you're very good at, much more so than Anna."

"Really?" Elliot can't help but have a tinge of hopefulness slip into his tone. He knew he shouldn't like being told he's better than her, that it was wrong, but that didn't stop from it feeling good.

"Uh huh." Nico unfastens his belt, causing Elliot's heart to flutter. His ass was still sore from yesterday when Nico had whipped him through his boxers. Nico had laughed cruelly and called him a "pain slut" as he moaned and fell apart-- it was honestly the hottest event of his life. Not like he'd admit that, though.

"I'll be gentle," he says, tossing his belt to the ground and sliding off his pants.

"Don't," blurts Elliot.

Nico cracks a toothy grin. "If you say so. Now get on your knees, bitch."

Elliot blushes and obeys. He'll do anything Nico ever asked. When he pulls out his cock, he can feel the heat in his face grow even hotter. Curious, he licks a stripe up Nico's dick, causing the other man to grip him by the hair.

"Open," he orders.

Elliot widens his mouth, sticking his tongue out. Nico guides him to his cock and slides it down his throat not too gently and Elliot coughs.

"Just fall back or tap me if you feel like puking."

He thrusts shallowly a couple times, causing Elliot to choke and splutter even though it wasn't all the way in yet. Once the cock is completely down his throat, he feels his eyes start to water which he knows will only make Nico thrust faster and rougher, using Elliot's hair to bob his head. Elliot doesn't move himself, just lets himself be manipulated to Nico's liking. When his hand gravitates down to his boxers, Nico pulls out and slaps him across the face.

"Did I say you could do that?" he snaps.

"No, Sir. I'm sorry."

Nico stands up to fetch his belt from the floor. "I don't trust you," he says. "Hands behind your back."

Elliot does as he's told. Nico is kind enough to slip a finger in, making sure it won't cut off his circulation. Then, when Elliot widens his mouth again obediently, he says, "Next time I should lock you up so you can't get hard."

Elliot gasps a little, body tensing in what he can't differentiate is fear or even more arousal. Probably a combination of both because honestly, Nico is mean when they fool around and he loves it.

"Wider."

Elliot widens his mouth until his jaw aches.

"Good." He then proceeds to stick in his damp cock and fuck Elliot's mouth, spearing his throat and making him nauseous but there's no way he's going to fall back, no way. Not when he has a hot boy moaning above him, taking what he wants. Because as much as Elliot yearns to be cherished, he absolutely adores abuse.

Nico finally cums with a groan, pressing his cock so deep that Elliot's chin touches his balls. The dick is too deep down his throat to taste anything but Elliot is still disgusted. As soon as he's out, Elliot spits at the ground aggressively. "Bluh! Bleh! You should've warned me, idiot!"

Nico just laughs at him. "Don't tell me you didn't love it," he says, leaning over so he can wipe at one of Elliot's tears.

Elliot can't help but shiver. Nico is so mean to him that any act of what can be interpreted as kindness catches him off guard.

"Do you want me to touch you?" he asks. "Fuck you with my hand until you shoot?"

"Please," he whines. Later he'd wonder how they'd even do that when his "cock" is secretly a pair of socks.

"Too bad." He pulls up his jeans, then unties Elliot's hands. "You can cum tonight after I fuck Anna. Every time I cum twice, you cum once. Remember?"

Elliot gives a sad nod, and knows without checking his cunt is soaked with juices.

"Good." He pulls his yellow tee back on. He helps Elliot to his feet and surprises him with a kiss, probably tasting himself on his lips. "I'll meet you at the dorm tonight," he murmurs, grabs his backpack, and departs. "It's Woolf Hall, second floor, room 222."