Forgiveness with Retribution

From 2007 through 2008, lucsmith was very active on Literotica. He wrote long stories and short ones. One of the short ones was called The Pain of Forbidden Lust. He realized that his ending might leave some readers feeling unfulfilled. He invited anyone that felt that way to come up with a New Ending. This is my attempt to honor his invitation. You must read his story before this continuation will make any sense.

This was a challenge for me because I felt that I had to be true to the goal of the author. That goal was to approach Nancy's affair using forgiveness with retribution. I am a believer in forgiveness and second chances, but the things that Nancy said and the length of the affair bothered me. She seemed to have a flippant attitude at the end of his story. I read the definition of 'forgive' on Dictionary.com. It seemed to me that true forgiveness would preclude retribution. Like I said, a challenge.

"How are we going to celebrate this? This deserves a big celebration, don't you think?"

Yeah, right. Celebration.

When I saw Nancy in that hospital bed, I wished that I had played things differently. I should have confronted her right after I received that email. I should have shown her that picture and demanded an explanation. Maybe I could have prevented things from escalating to what might prove to be "beyond the point of no return."

Nancy was being kept sedated to the point where any meaningful conversation was fruitless. I was supposed to be working some Saturday overtime today, but instead, here I am at the bedside of my wife in a hospital. I tried to forget about what got us here, but that was hard to do.

I couldn't help but remember that world-ending email. When I first read it, I thought it was probably a lie. When I saw the attached picture, I knew that it was true. I recognized her and the clothes that she was wearing. I immediately called Sam Downey, the head of security for our firm. Sam is a good friend of mine. We met for lunch, and I showed him the email and the picture. He found it difficult to believe that Nancy would do such a thing, but he promised to use his connections to look into the matter and see what he could uncover.

I had read an e-book called Following the Signs on my Kindle. It gave the signs to look for if you suspected that your wife was cheating. Until that email, I had not noticed a single sign that Nancy was being untrue to me.

After receiving that email, I searched my memory for possible signs. There was only one thing that I could think of. She always wore one of two outfits to "girls-night-out." They both featured brownish slacks and a matching blouse. One set was a lighter brown than the other. It was more of a beige color. The blouses both featured flowers, but one had red flowers and one had purple flowers. Both blouses buttoned in front. I thought that they looked like shirts.

What I am thinking of now is the pants. They were more like sweatpants than slacks. They were loose fitting and held up with a drawstring. They were not what you would call sexy outfits. They were more like what you would wear to the gym. What I am considering now is why she wore them. I'm thinking it was probably because they were easy to take off.

She was good enough at covering her affair that if that email had not been sent, I would still be blissfully ignorant of her infidelity. It was that email that ultimately resulted in her being in that hospital bed.

They kept Nancy in the hospital until Sunday afternoon. Dr. Jackson, our family doctor, had taken over her case. After church on Sunday, he came to examine her and sign her release papers. Before he did that, he took me and the girls to the lounge for a conversation.

He told us that Nancy had suffered a panic attack. The acute phase was over. He had talked to Nancy and found out what had precipitated her panic attack. He knew the problem was far from over because she was blaming herself for wrecking her marriage and destroying her family.

He wanted to hear how we felt about what she had done. He listened to everything we had to say. It was apparent that we were angry but also devastated. He said that our problem was beyond his expertise and that he was referring us to Doctor Shelly Mason, a psychiatrist that specialized in marriage problems.

He asked if I could take off work on Monday and take Nancy to see Dr. Mason at 9am. She had an office in the medical building next to the hospital. I said that I would make that happen.

He asked us to try to avoid any mention of our problem when we got Nancy home. He said to just try to act as normally as possible. He suggested that we try to do a pleasant task together like playing a game or visiting a park.

He said that we needed to face the problem, of course, but we should wait to do that under the supervision of Dr. Mason.

When we got home, Nancy said that we needed to talk. I told her that we would do that, but not today. "Today we just want to be thankful that you are out of the hospital and at home with your family. Let's do something fun."

Nancy agreed and said that she would like to get some exercise. "I am tired of laying around in a hospital bed. I need to move around and get my blood flowing again."

That worked out fine. We ended up taking a pleasant family hike along a beautiful trail.

When we got home, I told Nancy about our appointment with Dr. Mason tomorrow. She said, "I'm not sure that I am ready for that. I need to talk to you first, Ron. I need to know if there is any chance that you can forgive me or should I be preparing myself for a divorce?"

"That's what Dr. Mason can help us with. She is a specialist in marriage problems. She will help us figure everything out. Let's put our confidence in her. Dr. Jackson says that she is the best. Let's see what she can do for us, Nancy."

"Ok, Ron, but at some point, I desperately need to talk to you, not some doctor, about my despicable behavior. I must do that, Ron."

"I'm sure that Doctor Mason will guide us through that, Nancy, but until she does, let's just try not to focus on anything unpleasant."

Yes, we slept together Sunday night. Yes, we cuddled. No, we did not kiss. No, we obviously did not have sex.

I must admit that I wondered how Dr. Mason was able to work us into her schedule so quickly. Dr. Jackson had called her sometime over the weekend and here we are, sitting in her waiting room on Monday morning.

The mystery was solved when the nurse ushered us into the doctor's office. Dr. Mason came breezing in. She introduced herself and shook hands with both of us.

"I want you to call me Shelly. Not Doctor Mason, not ma'am, just Shelly. What do you want to be called, Ronald? What is your favorite pet name that your wife calls you?"

"She calls me Honey."

"Don't think that will work for me. How about I call you Ron?"

"That works."

"How about you, Nancy? Shall I call you Nan?"

"I'd rather--, that will be OK."

"No, wait. Do you dislike Nan?"

"It's what Vic always called me."

"Oops, guess I can deduce what that means. Let's not do that. What is your choice? What does Ron call you?"

"I love it when he calls me Nanny. Since last Friday, he has only called me Nancy."

"Then, Nanny it is.

"All right, then. Ron and Nanny, that's what I'll use. Now I have an assignment for you both. I will have Sally show each of you into a private room with a laptop. Ron, your assignment will be to tell me about your marriage before last Friday. Then, tell me about what happened Friday.

"Now, Nanny. I want you to concentrate on what caused you to have an affair and what happened stage by stage as the affair progressed. Don't soften anything or pull any punches. Tell me everything that you recall and let it all hang out.

"Both of you, this is important, I want the complete truth in everything you write. I also want to know your feelings. What made you happy? What made you sad? What made you laugh? What made you cry? Lay it out for me. You have two hours, then Sally will bring you back in here."

At that point, Sally came to get us. We had been in Shelly's office less than ten minutes! That's how she worked us in so fast! We were doing the work, not her. Sally led each of us to a room and we began to type.

When we returned to Shelly's office about two hours later, she printed several copies of what each of us had written. She handed each one of us a copy of what the other had written.

"Here is your homework assignment. I want each of you to read the other's story. I want you to make a note of anything that you have a question about or don't understand. Also, what bothers you in your spouse's written account. We will meet again at 2pm on Thursday. We will see where we are and decide where we need to go. So, scat now and do your homework. I will see you both Thursday."

She gave us both hugs and we were on our way. Five minutes, tops.

Confession, I didn't tell the whole truth in my statement. I didn't tell about Sam locating the person who had sent the email. He had used his digital magic to trace the email to Sharon Strong. She was a single girl that worked at the studio as a camera operator. She had been fooling around with Vic before he dumped her for my wife. She did not take that well.

She had taken that picture of Nancy with Vic and sent it to me attached to her email warning. When Sam confronted her, she admitted to doing it. It came out that she had also planted recording devices in Nancy's office. She had several videos of hanky-panky featuring Nancy and Vic. She shared them with Sam upon his promise that he would not rat her out. Her goal was to get Vic back again.

Sam passed the videos on to me along with a bunch of stills that he had made from the videos. I got those on a Monday. On Friday of that week, I went on my truth-seeking trip to the bar. I had known the truth for five days, but I wanted them to think that I had found out by catching them that night in his BMW. This was in accordance with Sam's promise to Sharon not to connect her with our dark problem that she had exposed with a bright light.

I also didn't mention that I had sent a composite video, made from the videos that Sharon had given to Sam, to Nancy's boss. I sent it on the day before we first met with Shelly. That was my ultimate act of retribution. Other than omitting those two insignificant (ha, ha) things, everything else in my statement was accurate and stated the truth, as I saw it. So, I should get partial credit at least, right?

I don't know what Nancy thought of my story, but I must say that her story raised many concerns for me. I read it many times at home. It spurred me to do quite a bit of research on the web. I found out some things that make me wonder if we have much of a chance of holding our marriage together. I tried hard not to show my disappointment. I will save that for Thursday.

I didn't get any hints from Nancy as to how she viewed what I had written. We didn't have too much time together since we both returned to work on Tuesday. That evening, she didn't say a word about seeing Vic at work, but I didn't see any way that she could have avoided him. She probably had lunch with him and cried on his very willing shoulder. Oh, well, it will all come out on Thursday.

Here we are back in Shelly's office. Like before she came breezing into the office projecting confidence and hope. After the normal social preliminaries, she got down to the business at hand.

"I have read both of your statements and I am happy to note that you have had fifteen good years of marriage. You both adore your two daughters and want the very best for them. Since there is only one problem to deal with and it is my opinion that you both want a solution that will be satisfactory for your whole family, we have an excellent chance of finding the answers that you are seeking.

"Nanny, why don't you kick it off. After reading what Ron had to say, what questions do you have and are there any points that require clarification? The floor is yours, Nanny."

"Wait just a minute, Shelly," I interrupted. "I don't agree that we have only one problem to solve. Did you read her statement? I did. I see at least ten problems or maybe even more. Let's just say ten that she admitted to."

"Ron, I prefer to call it one problem that was broken into ten chapters. Think of it like a book, it might have twenty chapters, but it is still a single book."

"Ok, but I just wish this book had ended at chapter one, Shelly."

"So do I, Ron, so do I," sobbed Nancy.

"Ok, Ron, point taken. Now, Nanny, the floor is yours."

"I think Ron wrote very well. I have no questions to ask. I quite agree with everything he said. I wish I could argue with his description of what Vic and I were doing in the car but, unfortunately, he had it exactly right. All that I want to do is make a statement to my husband.

"Honey, I have said that I'm sorry so often that I am afraid it has become trite and overused, but I don't know any stronger words to say. I can say that I am devastated, but I know that you will be thinking that I'm the one that caused the devastation and that it all landed on you. You are right, you did nothing wrong. You did nothing that lead me to take those despicable actions.

"You fulfilled your role in our marriage in every way, and yes, that includes in the bedroom. The sex that I had with Vic did not compare with the sex I had with you. You were--- you are better in every way. You are the best father ever to our daughters. You have always been a perfect husband to me and yes, I know that you are my soulmate.

"You are the love of my life. You are the only man I will ever want. The future of our family depends on one thing now, and that is if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for what I have done. I take all of the blame and my only hope is for forgiveness. There is nothing that I can do to make what I did right or to undo what happened. If there was, it would be done already.

"I must hope for your mercy, even though I in no way deserve it. I will do anything you ask of me to atone and to make amends. Anything, Ron.

"I love you today as I have always loved you. I forgot that love momentarily, and I will regret that all of my days. You can depend on my love and my devotion for every day that we have left with each other going forward. That is my solemn pledge to you."

"Thanks, Nanny," said Shelly. "Ron, you are up."

"Nancy, I believe that you believe everything that you just said. I appreciate what you said, but you did not answer the primary question that haunts my heart and my mind or any of the peripheral questions that trouble my soul."

I asked both Nancy and Shelly to consider the ramifications of this list of sentences taken directly from Nancy's statement:

You see, before I knew it, I thought I was in love with him.

I even told him things that I had never said to my husband.

When Vic began attending our after-work meetings, some of the other girls started bringing their husbands or boyfriends. I never did tell my husband that the meetings had become mixed. I suppose I did enjoy being with Vic, and I didn't want to lose the exclusivity of his attention by having my husband there with us on those nights.

"Shelly, what do those statements tell you about the affair between my wife and Vic?"

"Well, Ron, they are indicative of an emotional affair."

"Which of those statements tell you that, Shelly?"

"All of them."

"That is the exact conclusion that I reached after doing my research on the web, Shelly. Nancy, did you know that although statistics say that men cheat more often than women, women are filing for seventy percent of all divorces?"

"No, I didn't know that. I don't know why that affects us since I have no intention of filing for divorce. You won't find me in that seventy percent."

"Well, you know me, Nancy. I have trouble with statistics in general. I suppose the academics can prove all of their statistics mathematically. It's like in the lottery where they say that buying one more ticket doesn't increase your chance of winning enough to matter. They have the math to prove it, I'm sure. Stupid me, I think that if I have one ticket and I buy another one, I have doubled my chances of winning. I mean, do you have to be a mathematician to see that if I have one ticket and I buy another one (with different numbers, of course) I now have two chances to win instead of one chance. Isn't that double?"

"Ron, how is all of this germane to the problem we are here to solve?" asked Shelly.

"Well, let's get back to the statistics about men and women cheating. They say men cheat more often. Well, it takes two people to commit adultery, right? If we assume it is one man and one woman, like in your case, Nancy; how can men cheat more than women? It takes one of each, right? Maybe the math gets messed up because of gay men. Maybe they cheat with other men more than lesbians cheat with another woman. That might be the explanation."

"Ron, this is fun stuff, but it is still way off-subject," stated Shelly."

"What I was getting at, Shelly, is those statistics that say that women are filing for seventy percent of all divorces. I believe that is a fact that can be proven, since we know the count of all divorces and who filed for them. It is not like the lottery tickets or the cheating statistics. Am I right? Shelly, do you want me to tell Nancy why women are filing for more divorces?"

"I feel like I have lost control of this meeting, Ron, but I see where you are heading with this. If you don't mind, let me regain control now. I will tell her why.

"Nanny, the reason that seventy percent of all divorce applications are filed by women is quite simple. For men, an affair is usually all about sex. It is a physical thing. They, in most cases, never intend to leave their wife and family, even if they have told the 'other woman' that they would.

"For women, on the other hand, the affair is about an emotional attachment and about love. The women fall in love with their lovers and that is the danger. When they fall in love with their lover, they simultaneously fall out of love with their husband. Your statements that Ron pointed out lead to exactly that conclusion about your relationship with Vic. Ron believes that you have fallen out of love with him and in love with Vic, even though you probably don't even realize it."

"Well, that's just not the case with me. If my words led him to believe that, then I miswrote. Is that a word? Anyhow, I never loved Vic like I love Ron. That is just wrong."

"Nancy, if you had an emotional affair with Vic, you need to know that more than half of all emotional affairs become physical affairs. Once the physical affair starts, the marriage is on its death bed," Shelly told her.

"Nancy, your emotional affair with Vic, turned into a physical affair too. The question now is whether or not our marriage is 'on its death bed,' I stated. "I have these words from your written statement to consider. I am not at all sure that I will ever understand these words coming from the mouth of my wife, the mother of my children. Here are the words that bother me so much:"

Soon the friendship between Vic and I developed into something deeper.

I suppose I never noticed how far things had developed until one evening while we were dancing to a slow song, I found myself held tightly in his arms while we were in a dark corner of the dance floor.