- Gay Male
- Found Ch. 02
- Page 2
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"What's his name?" asked Natalie.
"William Roman; tall and blond the way you like them Nat!"
"REALLY?!"
"Well what do we have here...I think I am getting a fever!" Natalie said as she touched her forehead to feel her temperature.
"Dang the guy hasn't been in town for long and already you are going to pounce on him....you make me proud!" teased Calen.
"Well why wait right?"
Everyone at the table laughed and finished their meal.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoI really like the idea you have going. I think it definitely needs to be edited. There area lot of mistakes when it comes to past tense present tense etc. Also I agree with another users comment about showing an affectionate side with his parents and then all of a sudden they were hateful people. It could flow a little better but overall I like it.
Anonymousover 12 years agoIt is rather strange the description of his parents and the treatment he received in this chapter. In the first chapter, his parents did not come off as the assholes you portrayed here nor was there any hint given of relationship neglect. Some editorial gaffs as well. Overall, not bad.
Anonymousover 12 years agoHe got expelled for trying to commit suicide on the football field.
Anonymousover 13 years agoLovin this, way too much ;) which is why i'm probably going to read all of the other chapters right now. Kudos to you for writing so well and having a well edited story despite the lack of an editor.
Anonymousover 13 years agoI had to go back snd read the first chapter again but this is great! I thing this could be an amazing love story if you continue it without such a large time gap...post more and post it soon please.
Anonymousover 13 years agoI like your story, but have to say that I do not trust you. You wrote two good stories: one about vampires and another about werewolves. Both tales are interesting, but the negative thing is -there are 6 months gap between two written Ch's (Vampire tale). After that 9 months you did not write anything. Then you wrote Werewolves story Ch.1. and in another 10 months - Ch.2. You have to agree, it's silly of any serious reader to stick with you waiting for the next Ch's. You have to care for your readers *cowboi*. The readers did care for you - I checked the comments on both of your stories, and they are all positive. Now, instead of your permanent core readers you are having "passers by". Try to write AT LEAST one Ch. a month, please.
Anonymousover 13 years agoThis sounds like it's going to be very enjoyable to read, please continue it. (and quickly) :)
