Found Money

"Let's go." She told me.

"Leave? Already?" I asked.

"We're going." She firmly stated.

She headed for the door and I had to nearly sprint to catch up with her.

The entire way home I heard how her nose was too big, how it's affecting her career, how all the woman in client management were much better looking than she was. And on and on.

All my attempts to placate her was quickly and fairly rudely dismissed. I reverted to the same strategy I had used earlier. I quit talking.

"JD," She asked me. "Could you loan me enough for some cosmetic surgery?"

Melanie knew I still had a lump of my tech sale money. She didn't know exactly how much or where I had invested it. But she knew I had it.

"I've checked," she said, a thread of enthusiasm in her voice. "I think for a good doctor it wouldn't be more than twenty thousand, probably less. Could you loan that to me?" She asked.

Once again I was silent, I thought about it. First off I wasn't comfortable loaning her the money for this superficial unnecessary medical procedure. If she needed something to improve her health, I would GIVE her the money in a second.

But this was different. I was philosophically against it. But I wasn't stupid either. I kept these thoughts to myself.

"Um, sorry Mel," I said. "All my money is tied up in long term things right now."

Remarkably she didn't argue with me about this, but certainly her mood was in a downward spiral.

What had started out as a nice evening had taken a negative turn quite quickly. And the other thing was, for some reason, Melanie was acting as if was somehow this was my fault.

Life went on and our relationship got better, slowly, but it was better. The truth of the situation was I was deeply in love with Melanie and it was I that made many sacrifices to keep the relationship going.

I was fine with all this. And apparently it was fine with Melanie too. She had that air about her as if she deserved a pampered life. I was more than eager to pamper her.

And then, a couple of things happened.

One of her roommates took a job in Southern California and was obviously moving.

The other roommate had a serious boyfriend and they were getting married within the year.

I would also say that at a minimum Melanie stayed at my house at least twice a week.

We had talked about her moving in with me, but I always got the impression that she was not ready to make that type of commitment to me. At least not yet.

The roommate situation changed things. I kept asking her to move in, now using a more practical reasoning. All her roommates will soon be gone and she needed a place to live.

She never actually never said no. She would just say, "I'll think about it".

And then one night while we were discussing the subject again she agreed to move in. I was overjoyed. I was kissing her, telling her I loved her, talking excitedly about painting walls, and on and on.

In the back of my mind I kind of suspected Melanie looked at this less as a further commitment to our relationship and more as a practical solution to a current problem.

I didn't dwell on that thought. I was just so pleased that she would soon be living with me.

Once she actually did move in she quickly took control of things in my house. We painted walls, she chose the colors. We bought new furniture, she picked it out. We remodeled the downstairs bathroom, she designed it. I did the work. The new bathroom soon became 'her' bathroom.

Shortly there after we celebrated our one year anniversary of being together. We had dinner at The Metropolitan Grill. I had decided that on this occasion I wanted a little more definition on 'where our relationship was going'.

"Melanie," I began, "I hope you know how much I love and care about you."

"I know JD," she said, "you tell me all the time."

"Well I just wanted to say to you," I said, "that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I told her.

"Wow JD," she said, "that's so sweet." She smiled at me.

"Mel," I said a little more forcefully, "I want to be with you forever, I want to marry you." I told her staring straight into her eyes.

She was speechless staring back at me. We had talked of long term commitments and future plans before, but no one had ever mentioned marriage until this point.

"Are you," She asked hesitantly, "proposing to me?"

"Well no," I began, "no, I mean yes. I guess I am proposing to you." I told her.

"JD, geez." She said. "This is a lot to think about, you're going to have to give me some time." She told me.

And I did. I didn't demand an answer. I didn't give her any ultimatums. I just every so often reminded her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Some weeks later Isaac and I had a minor bit of success in our business that created a mild buzz in the tech industry. For us it was huge, we needed the success and the cash flow.

Shortly after that Melanie and I attended a charity event for disadvantaged youth.

This was one of these things where there is a dinner, an auction, speeches and awards were presented. People spent a lot of money pretending to do good for the particular charity.

We had a good time but for the most part it was uneventful.

There is a publication in the Puget Sound area called the 'Seattle Scene', it's kind of a hip glossy magazine that showcases the young and glamorous and sells high end advertising.

Apparently 'Seattle Scene' was at the same charity event Melanie and I were at.

A few days after the event the current issue was published. Melanie excitedly brought it home.

"JD, you've got to see this," she waved the Seattle Scene magazine in the air.

"This is so cool," she said.

At this point I don't have any idea what she's talking about, and then she shows me the magazine.

There is a photo of Melanie and I at the charity event in the issue of Seattle Scene. We both look pretty good, dressed up, examining an auction item. And then Melanie reads me the caption.

"Young advertising executive Melanie Miller prepares to bid on an interesting auction item accompanied by date, successful tech entrepreneur John David Wisnewski".

"This is so cool," she repeats. And it is kind of cool. Maybe not as cool as Melanie thinks. But then I never liked the spotlight. Without question she does.

The weeks after this event were some of the most positive in out relationship to date. Melanie seems to be more in to me than before. I can't discount the effect the Seattle Scene photo had on her attitude.

One night, a few weeks after the day she brought home the magazine, I arrived home to Melanie with an iced bottle of champagne.

"What's going on?" I asked, happily surprised by her enthusiasm.

"Yes." She told me. And then just smiled at me.

I was still confused.

"Yes, what?" I asked.

"Yes I will marry you, you big dummy!" She told me.

This was great news and stunning. I was very happy to hear this, but a part of me wanted to ask, 'what changed'. I was also smart enough to not demand an answer to that question at this particular moment.

The next few months were a whirlwind of activity. Melanie's parents live in Missoula and her Mom came out, stayed with us, and they did wedding planning.

Most of the decision making was done by Melanie and that was fine with me. Occasionally I was asked obligatorily my opinion on something but it never really mattered.

There were some practical matters we needed to get settled.

First off the state of Washington does not require a blood test before marriage but we both got physicals with a blood screen.

We met with my insurance agent and each got a term life insurance policy for five hundred thousand dollars with each other as beneficiary.

And then we met with a family practice lawyer. We discussed our estates, mine consisting of mostly my house and business. Melanie's was a little more complex. Her largest asset was her parents vacation home on Flathead Lake that she and her sister would one day inherit.

The scenario he asked us to consider was this: if we were to have children and then if Melanie were to die before her parents, would her children have any rights to the cabin on Flathead Lake?

What we finally agreed to do was to co-mingle our assets. Though it was still only my name on the deed to my house, Melanie would have rights to the house just as I would have rights to the Flathead cabin after her parents passed away.

It was sort of complex but it made sense. At this point I was prepared to agree to and sign most anything. My desire for Melanie was so strong.

The wedding finally happened and it was a fun and expensive event. My cousin Mike was my best man and Isaac was a groomsman. We honeymooned at the Flathead Lake cabin. I had not been to the area before but it was where Melanie and her family grew up vacationing.

It was beautiful and modern looking while still maintaining a rustic presence. You couldn't quite call it a lodge but in my mind, it was certainly more than a cabin. And it was right on the lake. It was a magical place. And it was worth a lot of money.

The Californians had discovered this quadrant of Montana decades ago. Then came the wealthy Washingtonians followed by the Oregonians. Thankfully Melanie's family had owned the home for a number of years before the migrations.

I was fairly sure they couldn't afford to buy it now, few could. But it's value, for some reason, made me fell better about the legal documents we signed before we were married.

After the honeymoon it was back to work for both of us. Our post-wedding lifestyle didn't change too much. Melanie was already living at my house and as I had mentioned, she was running the house these days. I was happy.

There was one thing that did bother me. She didn't take my last name. She didn't even hyphenate her last name. She just kept her family name.

"I just like my name." she told me."It sounds good in an alliterative way." She said.

But this was a small thing I told myself. There were sacrifices in all relationships. Weren't there?

I focused on the positive things.

Finally after all these post-pubescent desires I had the type of woman I had always desired. My business with Isaac certainly had it's ups and downs but we were making some money. So far no large tech company had seemed interested

in acquiring us.

Work for Melanie had it's ups and downs too. She was frustrated with her role and still wanted to get into client management. She was convinced if she got a nose job this would change things for her at McClatchy.

I continued to tell her I liked her just the way she was. This appeared to have little comforting effect.

Over the months things began to change. Change slowly, but nonetheless they were changing.

Melanie, though normally moody, seemed to rarely be in a good mood. She was working longer hours and seemed more and more stressed by her job. She didn't seem to like it.

And our sex life suffered. Before and around the wedding we would make love a couple of times per week. It was daily on the honeymoon. Certainly every weekend for sure. That tapered off to maybe once a week and sometimes once every two weeks.

One Saturday I carefully brought up the subject of our sex life.

"Mel," I said. "I know you've got a lot going on at work, but I miss spending time with you." I told her.

"What do you mean?" She replied, "we're together constantly." She added.

"You know," I said, "like in the bedroom."

"On my God!" She exclaimed. "We have sex all the time!" She told me.

"Mel, it's been over a week." I told her.

She sat for a moment, thinking, but didn't reply.

We made love that night and perhaps it was my imagination but it didn't feel like she was in to it as much as normal.

My business with Isaac was also experiencing a dry spell. After our last success we had yet to come up with anything lately. Both Isaac and I were working long hours and the money was barely trickling in.

Though Isaac and I never argued, the state of our business was creating tension in our business and personal relationship.

A few months later, a rainy Wednesday Isaac approached me.

"JD, I, uh, need to talk with you." He said, eyes cast downward.

This was odd. We were always so informal here at the office. Something definitely was up.

"Sure," I said, "what's going on?"

He hesitated.

"Man, JD, we've had some good times together and we've created some great products over the years. But," he said. "I'm not making any money." He told me.

For a moment I absorbed what Isaac had said.

"Isaac, we've just hit a temporary lull." I told him. "Once we get rolling again, it will get better. I can fund the business with my reserves." I added.

"JD," Isaac said. "I've received an offer from Microtec. I'd be a manager. The money's really good and I want to buy a house. Right now, I can barely qualify for a loan." He told me.

I tried to talk him out of it, but it was hard to argue with his logic. At first I was a little upset with him. But I could tell he really felt bad. He even offered to come in on weekends to help me. I knew that would never work but it was a nice gesture anyway.

Isaac was scheduled to start at Microtec in a little over a week. I decided to try to run the business on my own and see what happened.

Despite my acceptance of Isaac's departure this change in my business upset me. I tried to talk to Melanie about it but her response was to suck it up and keep going. Not the understanding sympathetic comments I was hoping to hear.

Over the next year things at both my business and Melanie's job were stressful and rarely positive.

Melanie was constantly under pressure. The advertising industry is a risky game. Lose one big client and it can have an immediate effect on cash flow and layoffs. Once the rumors began about a particular client they grew a life of their own.

All this added to Melanie's stress.

My business also had changed. Whereas before Isaac and I discussed certain ideas and bounced concepts off one another, I was alone now. Where I used to be excited about walking the busy streets to my office and working, now I entered the building with feelings close to dread.

I had considered hiring someone but I would have to fund them from my reserves. Programmers were getting paid a lot of money these days and I wasn't sure I could even find someone to hire.

My thoughts began to change directions. My lease was for another five months. I had a lot to think about in these coming months.

The combination of both our individual work stress took its toll on our relationship. Melanie was often in a bad mood. Where she was angry, I just kind of moped around, feeling sorry for myself and needing her.

I would try to talk to her about my work problems, her job problems, or our relationship. These conversations were rarely productive for us.

None of this was good for our sex life. I needed her more than ever and she didn't act like she needed or wanted me much at all.

Meanwhile I continued to talk with Isaac. He listened and understood the stress of my business. I could, to some degree, continue to bounce ideas off Isaac, but he was busy and didn't have the time like when we were partners.

I also had my cousin Mike to talk to. Once every couple of weeks we would get together for a beer and to talk. This was another one of the few bright spot in my life at this time. I would talk about Mel and my relationship. He would listen, nod his head, but I knew deep down he had never been a huge fan of Melanie.

One of the things I did when I wasn't at work was work around my house. It was an older house and there was always something to do. I had kind of a mental checklist of projects to complete. I prioritized them by need, cost and time. These activities were therapeutic for me.

One day I was down at the local lumber store and in the showroom was a beautiful set of French doors. The sign on the doors said 'REGULARLY $3000 on sale $1000'.

Huh, I thought. I grabbed a measuring tape and measured the doors. I then went home, removed the cheap trim on the old aluminum sliding door and measured the rough opening. I think the doors at the lumber store would fit.

I went back to the lumber store.

"I'll give you $700 for these doors," I told the guy at the counter.

"I need $800." He told me.

"$750 and you deliver, final offer." I told him and he agreed.

I knew exactly what had happened. Someone had ordered the doors and measured wrong. The customer likely refused to pay and the lumber store was stuck with the doors.

I had examined the doors. They were a beautiful fiberglass pair. They also had what is called a multi-point lock. This provided better security and helped with energy loss. The only negative would be that we'd need a separate entrance key for this lock than all the other doors in the house.

I was excited about my new project and for a short time my positive energy buoyed Melanie's spirits too.

One Monday morning at my office and I got a call from Isaac. I was down to less than two months on my lease and I was unsure about renewing it.

"JD, I wanted to run something by you," Isaac said. "We need a programmer. It would be a contract job. You could still work on your own projects, but it would be full time." He told me.

And then he told me the daily rate. This was a great opportunity. I told him I'd think about it.

"I get it JD," Isaac said, "But I need to get someone by the end of the week. You're the first person I called." He added.

"I'll let you know by tomorrow." I told him and he agreed.

My first instinct was to call Mike and discuss the offer from Isaac. We agreed to meet that night. I hadn't even thought to talk to Melanie about the opportunity.

After getting Mike's feedback, the following day I called Isaac and accepted. There was a bit of negotiation but nothing serious. I informed the real estate company that I would not be renewing the lease.

Suddenly an enormous weight felt like it was lifted off my back.

That night at home I told Melanie about this change I was planning on making.

"You mean you're giving up your business?" She asked, not quite sharing the positivity that I had.

I told her not really, I would still be able to work on it while I wasn't on the clock for Microtec.

"But you aren't keeping the office?" She asked.

I told her, no, it would be a needless expense.

"So will you commute to Bellevue every day?" She asked.

"No, I'll set up a home office in the downstairs bedroom." I told her.

"You're going to put an office in my house!?" She asked.

Her house?

At that point any type of reasonable discussion evaporated. Melanie was showing no sympathy or understanding of my situation. She was so self absorbed all she thought about was how it would affect her.

For once I stood up for myself. I told her it was MY house. I bought it long before I met her. I told her I was making this sacrifice for US! For our long term future and the future of any children we may have. And on and on.

This lead to one of these marital cold wars that can last a day or two.

During this time I plugged in my headphones and worked on my door project, which was actually turning out quite well. Next step was to replace the old decaying cedar deck the doors opened up to.

Finally I apologized and she didn't quite accept but things got a little better.

I moved out of my office downtown and set up office in the downstairs bedroom. I began working for Isaac.

It was like old times, but better. I was making money and I didn't have the financial pressure of running an office. I knew what I was doing and was producing for Microtec. And my commute was a flight of stairs.

There were times when I tried to talk to Melanie about our relationship. I loved her and I wanted things like they had once been. She would agree and things were temporarily better but nothing really changed.