Freya's Redemption

"I suppose he got what he deserved then," Freya agreed.

"That he did. I don't blame you for any of this. Kyle lied to you and you made your own bad choices from which you already have suffered the consequences so I think we should just move on with our lives. Would you care to have dinner with myself and Gwen this evening? I would like to get to know you better."

"I would like that," Freya agreed. "Let me talk to my parents to see if they can babysit Morgan."

"Wonderful!" Brooke exclaimed happily. "Message me on this number and I'll give you the details."

Freya had a very enjoyable evening with Brooke and Gwen. Freya's life then was thrown upside down once more.

Chapter 3

"May I sit here? There aren't many places to sit today," a man slightly younger than Freya asked in the busy canteen.

"Of course," Freya said, offering a seat opposite her.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Why does everyone have the same anchor days? It makes no sense."

Freya laughed at his complaint, "So true. I think people prefer coming into the office though. Everything works so slowly at home. I don't think the IT department is very good here."

"I work in IT, I'm the Network team leader," the man said looking offended.

Freya blushed furiously in embarrassment, "I'm sorry, what I meant was-"

"Don't worry about it," the man smiled which made Freya's heart beat a little faster. "It isn't very good. The bozo they sent from the US completely underestimated what we needed. We are trying to get new and better equipment in but first, someone has to admit they screwed up. I'm Zack by the way."

"I'm Freya."

Freya looked at Zack and could see he was not a bad-looking guy but she really wasn't interested in flirting with him. Dating at that moment was off her radar. Even so, his company was more than pleasant.

Freya and Zack chatted until Freya had to return to her desk.

Freya and Zack would meet every now and again in passing and chat and "bump" into each other in the canteen and have lunch together. Soon they began to arrange to meet for lunch. Freya really enjoyed his company and she found him a distraction to her daily thoughts.

"Freya, we need to go for a coffee after work," Diana, Freya's vivacious colleague and Freya's best friend in the office and only real friend out of it, told her with the expectation that Freya was going to agree, as soon as Freya returned to her desk and lunch with Zack again. "We have things to talk about."

"Sure, I'll ask my parents to pick up Morgan from daycare," Freya replied, confounded by Diana's out-of-the-blue demand.

**********

"Do you have something you would like to tell me?" Diana asked over her chai tea as they sat in the coffee shop after their day had finished.

"Like what?" Freya replied looking and sounding perplexed.

"That guy you have lunch with."

"You mean Zack?"

"Yes, Zack," Diana gave Freya a knowing smirk. "What is going on? People are gossiping about you two."

"Nothing is going on. We just meet for lunch, that's all," Freya still looked perplexed.

"Uh huh," Diana gave Freya a smirking disbelieving look.

"No there isn't!" Freya protested looking mortified, only now realising what Diana was getting at.

"Why not?" Diana pouted. "He's good-looking and he obviously likes you."

"Okay, he's nice company and good to talk to but I don't want to see anybody at the moment."

"Why not?" Diana pleaded. "When was the last time you dated someone? You can't let being a single mother stop you from dating."

"It's more than that," Freya gave Diana a pained look.

"What is it with you Freya?" Diana asked her friend sounding slightly angry. "You have a mysterious meeting with Brooke Goodchilds and now when a good-looking, dependable guy takes an interest in you, you're not interested! You really are an enigma. What secrets are you hiding?"

Freya's expression became fearful before she wiped away a tear.

"What is it?" Diana now sounded more concerned, taken aback by her friend's sudden tearful appearance.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Of course, but it can't be that bad, whatever it is."

"I had an affair with Brooke Goodchild's ex-husband when he was on secondment at my last company and he is Morgan's father," Freya confessed with a whisper looking distraught as she made her confession.

"WHAT!" Diana shouted, her mouth remaining open in disbelief. Her outburst caused people to look irritably in her direction. "Freya, that can't be true!"

"I have DNA evidence and an NDA to prove it," Freya then told Diana the story of how she betrayed Charlie and became pregnant with Brooke Goodchild's ex-husband. "So, you see, how can I date anyone? Who would date me? I'm damaged goods. I'm a cheater and I ruined my life. If Brooke hadn't helped me, I don't think I would ever have got back on my feet again. I was failing Morgan as her mother and every day my heart was breaking because I couldn't provide for her and I knew it was my fault, I damaged myself.

Diana sat listening to Freya, with bated breath and her heart racing. This was gossip gold but even though she loved to gossip she knew this was something told to her by a friend in confidence. There was no way she could share this. Which was so frustrating.

"Oh my God! That is the most magnanimous act I've ever heard, what Brooke Goodchild did for you."

Freya nodded her distraught expression still not leaving her, "I didn't deserve it. I only deserved her hate but she did it anyway."

"You did something terrible but I think everyone is right, you can't suffer forever for what you did. You still created a beautiful life and nobody died. It looks like everybody else has moved on except for you. If Zack asks you out, you should accept," Diana told Freya with certainty.

"But what if he rejects me when he finds out what I did to Charlie? I would have to tell him at some point!" Freya objected.

"So, you like him then," Diana smirked again with her eyebrows raised self-satisfactorily knowing she made Freya admit to something she didn't want to.

"Ok, I do like him. He is good company and yes, he is good-looking," Freya pouted her admission.

"Then go for it. You are good-looking too. Have a little fun and happiness, even if it is just for a little while," Diana pleaded

Freya felt defeated. She knew Diana was right. She had to move on from her past now her life was back on track.

Freya didn't have to wait much longer for Zack. She received a message from Zack asking her out for a coffee after work. She agonised over whether to agree or not. She confided with Diana who threatened to agree on Freya's behalf if she didn't say yes.

The coffee date went well and Freya had the embarrassing task of admitting to her parents that she wanted to date again and that there was already somebody she wanted to date because she would need them to look after Morgan that weekend. Of course, she was interrogated about it by her mother.

Freya wanted to take her relationship with Zack slowly. She enjoyed his company. He was the first person since she got divorced that made her laugh and he did make her happy but she did not want to commit herself to him. She was too terrified of Zack finding out about her past and ending it with her.

Their first kiss came before they parted after they had a drink after a visit to the cinema. She had put up so many barriers between her and Zack. Her fear of having a relationship with Zack was compounded by her fear of losing her relationship with him. She felt so torn but being with Zack made her feel so at ease and she realised missed the intimate company of a man.

When the kiss came, Freya felt weak and powerless to resist. Zack knew about Morgan but never complained when Freya always wanted to leave early or push to meet her. Something Freya was very grateful to him for.

As they began their usual slow goodbye they embraced and kissed each other on the cheek. Freya didn't know why but Zack's embrace felt warmer and more intimate this time. As Zack prepared to let go, Freya didn't. She held him tighter and she felt Zack wrap his arms around her again with his hand on her head. She felt safe and warm. She didn't want the embrace to end. His embrace made her feel like everything was going to be alright. Only Charlie had ever made her feel this way. Freya and Zack slowly parted and their eyes locked. Zack slowly moved his lips towards hers. Freya's heart was beating fast. Her mind was panicking but her body knew what it wanted.

When their lips locked, Freya instantly melted into the kiss. It was so soft and gentle. She could feel his desire for her. It had been so long since a man desired her and so long since she had the thrill of desiring a man. Freya was powerless to stop her hand moving to the back of Zack's head to stop it from escaping. Her mouth opened and she felt electricity shoot through as their tongues touched.

The world appeared to disappear and only she and Zack remained, kissing with a slow passion that felt like it could go on forever. When they breathlessly parted, Freya's mind was in a daze. She could not remember how she got home or the conversation with her mother. All she could think about was that kiss.

Lying in bed, her eyes wide open when she got home. Her body felt warm as she thought about her evening. The kiss was warm and full of desire from someone who desired her. She could feel her breasts harden and she began to feel moist. What was this feeling? Her hand slid across her abdomen and lingered nervously at the elastic of her pyjamas before guiltily moving inside.

Freya moaned at her own touch. It had been so since she had felt this way and with Zack it only took a few weeks. Freya's hand began to work faster, her eyes squeezed shut, her breathing ragged as she thought of Zack until her thighs squeezed shut and she had to bury her face into her pillow in case Morgan was woken by her mother's orgasm.

Freya was motionless. Her body was shaking. Her orgasm was so intense but a wave of guilt washed over her. What was she doing?

Chapter 4

"I kissed Zack," Freya confessed to Diana on their now regular date for coffee after work.

Diana's eyes lit up with excitement, "Good for you! How was it?"

"It was nice," Freya said with a pained look on her face.

"Only nice?"

"Ok, it was wonderful," Freya's face flushed with embarrassment. "When I got home, I you know," she whispered.

Diana chuckled at Freya's admission, "Again good for you but why the long face?" Diana looked at her friend confused.

"I feel guilty. I haven't felt that way since I cheated on Charlie. It felt wrong and now I don't know if I am doing the right thing with Zack? I don't want to lead him on."

"What do you mean?" Diana still couldn't see what Freya was getting at.

"Can it possibly work between me and Zack?"

"Why not?" Diana shrugged.

"I'm older than him."

"I'm older than my husband," Diana sniffed.

"I'm not good enough for him."

"Yes, you are," and Diana's eyes rolled with exasperation. "I know where this is going. You've got to let your past go, Freya! He is a great guy who likes you and you like him. You can't keep second-guessing everything based on what you did in the past. Enjoy being in a relationship, you can't stay single forever."

"I'm terrified. What about Morgan? What if he doesn't like her? It isn't just about me. What if he doesn't want me when he finds out about how my marriage ended?"

"Give it a rest, Freya!" Diana snapped. "I'm not going to help you end your relationship with Zack. He makes you happy, so don't sabotage yourself. You are a better person than you think! You need to believe it. I'll be furious with you break up with him before you even give him a chance. Sure, you are scared but that is normal. He knows about Morgan so he knows you two are a package, yet he still wants you. He will love Morgan. She is too cute not to love."

Freya's phone pinged and she looked at the message in despair,

"What is it now?"

"Zack can't meet this weekend. He is on standby for work."

"Well, invite him over for dinner instead. My husband works in IT. Zack only needs internet access. He can get it at your apartment."

"I suppose so," Freya conceded, knowing she was running out of excuses. "The problem is that I like him a lot but I feel it is all going too fast."

"Have you had sex with him yet?"

"Diana!" Freya exclaimed, flushing with embarrassment again before shaking her head.

"Well, that is a problem you must rectify," Diana said pointedly.

Freya sighed as she felt Diana's firm gaze upon her which didn't leave her until Freya had finished replying to Zack and inviting him over for dinner on that Saturday night. Diana then held out her hand for Freya's phone, not trusting her friend.

Diana took her time looking at the messages between Freya and Zack. They clearly spent a lot of their evenings messaging each other. How Zack felt about Freya was obvious but the poor guy was struggling to get Freya to reciprocate what she was getting from him. Freya was holding back and Diana knew how afraid Freya was

"You need to show Zack how you feel about him," she told Freya firmly. "You can't keep blowing hot and cold. It isn't fair on him."

"I'll try. I do like him but I'm afraid that I will-"

"Fall in love with him?" Diana suggested to Freya nodded with tears welling in her eyes.

"But if it doesn't work out, I need to know now before I do fall in love with him otherwise it will be too hard. I could lose everything if it doesn't, my job, my home. It will hurt Morgan too because I will have to take her out of daycare, which she loves. I don't have much, I can't go back to how I was. That terrifies me."

Diana reached out and squeezed Freya's hand to comfort her. She could feel Freya trembling, see the tears in her eyes. She had shown her deepest fears and they were valid. Diana realised that she had completely underestimated how Freya was feeling and she could completely understand. She had been hauled up from the bottom but the slope she was on was slippery and she could easily fall back down to the abyss she came from. But at the top of the slope was potential happiness. Her feelings for Zack, though, were clear.

"I understand," she told Freya with sympathy, "but I think you could be happy with Zack. I truly think he is worth the risk."

Freya nodded; she knew it too but it did nothing to calm her fears.

That Saturday it got complicated for Freya once more. Her mother called to tell her that she had come down with a cold and she didn't want Morgan to get it. This meant Morgan had to stay at home while Freya entertained Zack. Diana told Freya in no uncertain terms that it was no reason to cancel.

Freya decided it was too soon for Morgan to meet Zack. Their relationship was two tortuous months long and for Freya that was not long enough to introduce a man who could potentially be a father to Morgan.

Freya asked Zack to arrive an hour later than planned so she could give Morgan dinner and ensure Morgan was asleep when Zack arrived. Morgan watched her mother get ready and said "Mummy is pretty," with a big smile.

Zack arrived on time just after Morgan had fallen asleep. Freya was dressed in a tight short dress. She hadn't worn anything as short or as tight in years. Not since she first dated Charlie, not even for Kyle did she dress like this. Looking good for Zack had become important to her.

Freya opened her front door to see that to her relief Zack had made an effort as well, dressed in a shirt and a nice pair of jeans when she saw him standing looking slightly nervous on her doorstep, the bag containing his laptop slung over his shoulder. A bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine were in his hand.

"Zack!" Freya exclaimed excitedly before she pulled him inside and kissed him passionately, cupping his face in her hands, before she closed the door behind him. "Thank you for coming."

"I'm happy to be here," he smiled as he followed Freya inside. "It beats another standby weekend by myself at home." Zack handed over the flowers and wine to Freya, "These are for you. I don't normally get asked to people's houses for dinner so I didn't know what to bring."

"The flowers are lovely," Freya replied with a shy appreciative smile as she inhaled their fragrance. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"I would love to but I better stay sober. I have the car and I shouldn't drink while I'm on standby. It isn't supposed to affect your social life but it does."

There was an air of awkward excitement between the couple, neither one was quite sure how to behave but both were excited to be together.

"You look very pretty tonight by the way," Zack complimented Freya sounding somewhat bashful.

"Thank you, you look nice yourself," Freya replied, her heart beating fast at the compliment. Zack looked more than nice. She could feel her body reacting but with Morgan sleeping down the hall she couldn't risk waking her by giving in to her returned carnal desires.

Freya realised that she was staring at Zack and quickly said, hoping he hadn't noticed, "Take a seat. I'll check on dinner and bring a drink. I have some apple juice if that is okay?"

"Apple juice will be great," Zack smiled which made Freya's heart flutter as it always did. She quickly turned and went into the kitchen.

Freya leant on the worktop, supporting herself with her hands, trying to compose herself. Since their first kiss, she had been at war with herself to control her libido. Somehow Zack had become even better looking. She hadn't desired anyone since Kyle and that was more than three years ago. Now her libido had returned with a vengeance with her desire for Kyle and she really wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Once she had gotten herself under control, she found a vase to put the flowers in with some water and checked the pasta sauce before putting the pasta itself onto boil. She then poured two glasses of apple juice and returned to the living room to see Morgan sitting next to Zack who was reading a story to her.

Freya was torn by the sight before her. It was too soon, much too soon for Morgan to be introduced to Zack but here she was happily sitting next to him listening to the story and seeing the two of them interact together without a care warmed her heart.

"Morgan, what are you doing out of bed!?" Freya asked her daughter trying to sound cross.

"Wanted to see Mummy's friend," Morgan replied a little sleepily.

"I'm sorry," Zack apologised sounding a little worried. "She walked in wanting a story and I wasn't sure what to do."

Freya took the sleepy Morgan back to bed

"I'm really sorry, I crossed a line," Zack apologised again looking a little distressed when Freya returned. "If you want me to go, I'll understand."

"No, it's fine," Freya conceded with a reassuring smile. "I should apologise. She wasn't supposed to come in and see you. It is too soon for you both to meet but thank you for reading to her. It was lovely to see you both together."

"It's okay, she is cute," Zack replied before saying ruefully, "But very hard to say no to."

Freya laughed. Her parents said the same thing about Morgan too.

"Come to the table and I'll serve dinner," she told Zack.

The two of them spent a pleasant evening in each other's company. Zack complimented Freya on the food and looked like he was enjoying the food she cooked for him.

After dinner, they returned to the sofa and it didn't take long for them to begin to make out. It quickly became passionate and heavy. Zack's kiss and his touch felt so good. His hands felt like they were caressing every part of her body. She could feel how hard he was and she began to crave what was inside his trousers. She gave out soft moans as he gently kissed her neck.