Gabatrix: The Magenta Racer

There was a sense of harmony that could be felt in the extended portions of the tracks. Neo could understand it. Being placed in a pod and having to see the road lane indicators zip past the camera feed made him feel that he was faster than anything......even if it weren't entirely true.

"I want to win......" he said. "I want to be remembered."

Even with this sense of ambition, to see the two ahead of him still felt like he took a stab to the gut. He could do this better. The next turn was coming up. He could see the elapsed time that took place for the first lap on display. The number of 4 minutes and 29 seconds was nothing even close to the speed record. He was going to take this turn more traditionally. He already began to veer a little bit to the right in order to perform a wide arc. It was his hope that he could still maintain a faster speed without the need to break as much.

As he made it to the first turn of the second lap, he did his turn as Adrian tried to overtake him. It didn't prove to be a successful move as the Bandigara struggled to maintain a faster speed than the previous lap. It was risky, however. The moment that Neo began to make his turn, the bike was veering closer and closer to the barricade. He was going too fast, and the bike's tires were screeching to maintain their grip. The left deactivated machine gun even tipped and tapped the pavement as the pod shifted in the hard turn. It was a close call as the turn was completed, and the bike was speeding up.

For a brief moment, it was almost as if he was near the same speed as Meifen. Her motorcycle wasn't gaining any more ground up ahead. The price of doing so, however, was dangerous. His adrenaline was in full swing as a tiny number of sparks came from the tip of the barrel before the bike leveled out in its driving. He was reminded of why he kept those guns there in the first place.

"I have to go faster," he said to himself. A war raged in his mind as he pressed down on the accelerator pedal. The malfunction occurred again in his augmented leg. He couldn't feel the pedal. The tingle that was there was worse than he could ever imagine.

He tapped a button as he disengaged the pedal and held down the trigger button for his steering wheel. It was a flexible switch, but he wasn't entirely used to it as the vehicle was gaining speed.

"Damn it, damn it," Neo said to himself. The frustration that he was having wasn't helping him. The feeling in his leg had returned, but he knew that he couldn't keep relying on it for the race. He wasn't used to this form of control. His left foot would still have to be used for the brakes. He also considered the prospect of switching those controls so he could use the left trigger for the brakes.

Suddenly, he was snapped to attention. He was focused on the events with his leg and swapping the controls that he almost didn't realize that he needed to slow down. The monstrous u-turn was coming up. Anxiety riddled his body as he had lost focus. He slammed his foot pedal on the brakes as the tires screeched a little bit. He tried to make the turn as he had seen Meifen and Oluchi were already doing the same.

It was barely enough. The bike was turning as hard as it could as it was going far faster than needed to make the turn. The building was getting closer and closer as he was reaching about 60% of the turn. He was going so fast that the barricade was coming dangerously close to it.

"No, no, no!" Neo exclaimed as he tried to make it. He was losing speed rapidly as his right side was about to careen with the wall. The right portion of the pod and machine gun mount lightly tapped it before the motorcycle almost came to a full stop.

He was only halfway through the turn as Adrian's bike began to pass him. Adrenaline was surging in Neo's veins. For a moment, he genuinely thought he was going to have an accident. He was trying to regain his senses as he had his finger pressed down on the trigger.

"How did I lose focus!?" Neo asked himself as he could see one of the racers get past him. "I'm better than this...."

Despite the near-collision, Neo was getting the motorcycle back up to speed as he completed the turn. He tapped his right leg in frustration at the situation. It was causing him to lose focus again.

"Why....?" He asked himself as he started to breathe harder. "Why isn't the leg working right? Why isn't it working right?"

He couldn't think straight. As the motorcycle was gaining speed, he momentarily closed his eyes. Flashbacks were hitting his mind. Suddenly he was on the Tsunenaga. It was perfectly clear as he remembered seeing his leg getting severed. His scream of sheer horror blanketed his thoughts. He was doing his best as he almost lost track of the next turn again.

Neo's heart was beating as hard as it could. Then, he started to breathe harder and harder as he would see the road, and then the event happened again and again.

"Go away.....go....." he couldn't complete what he was going to say as he started to take the righthand turn. His motorcycle was slowing down as he could feel the pain that was in his chest. Nothing made sense anymore as he started to shake. He knew exactly what was happening as his mind was beginning to cave in.

It was a panic attack. His hands trembled as he could see the battle flash before his eyes like he was reliving it. This time, he would be fully awake. The loss of feeling in his leg now was causing this potentially deadly event to transpire. The park was not far from him.

"Make it stop......MAKE IT STOP!" he began to scream in the pod. He turned his motorcycle and could see an alcove area. It was one of the checkpoint stations that was coming up. His brain couldn't function correctly.

The other racers began to pass him while Neo was starting to apply the brake. Some pedestrians witnessed the whole area as the motorcycle was slowing down to a crawl. Pulling off the side of the road, the beautiful park was there to greet him.

There was a mild form of confusion in the people that saw him pull in. The bandigara racer never did this before as the checkpoint station's crew could see Neo starting to pull in. Was there something broken down that needed to be looked at? Was there a malfunction of some sort? Emergency teams were already there.

"I need.......I need air......." Neo said as his anxiety attack was out of control. He could feel a sense of being entrapped in the pod. The alcove was a perfect place for him to come to a complete stop away from the race. The onlookers were focusing their attention on him.

Neo taped the button to shut off the bike and open up the canopy as the motorcycle was at a complete halt. The sudden rush of air came in as the pod door opened. It felt welcoming even in his beleaguered state.

"Neo, are you alright?" one of the male responders asked him. There was no answer at first as the driver picked himself up. It didn't take much for him to leap out of the motorcycle.

Neo's eyes were closed as he had his hands placed near the top of his head. He practically had curled up into a ball by his bike. He wasn't crying, but his heart continued to pump hard. One of the responders held a small medical device and seemed to be scanning his physiology.

"Neo, you need to talk to us," another voice called out to him. He couldn't see the person as his eyes remained closed.

"I can't....." Neo struggled to say. "I can't feel my leg....... it's gone....."

He knew that some of them must have had confused looks, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered as he could feel the comfort of the sidewalk.

One of the responders had placed their hand on his right knee. For a brief moment, he could feel it, but the sensation quickly disappeared. He could, however, lightly sense that the other responders had backed away from him.

"You're having an anxiety attack...." The male responder told him. "Your heart is rate is above the norm."

Neo opened up his eyes to see a man with a dark complexion that was neatly dressed. He had a medical cross symbol on his arm. He shook in his spot as he was getting somewhat dizzy.

"I can't......I can't breathe...." He said.

"You are hyperventilating. You are fine.....take deep breaths," the medical responder told him. "Your leg isn't missing. I can promise you that it is still there."

Neo looked at his augmented leg. It was starting to snap him back to reality but only by so much. As truth was beginning to set in, he could tell that time had passed. He virtually left the entire race. His career was ruined, and this itself had infuriated him.

All because of that stupid leg......

He could see the distant pedestrians. All of them were looking upon him. Some had tablets or augmented arms that were recording the entire set of events. Many had a look of genuine concern. A few, however, almost seemed to either not care or even gawked at him. It was these people that he had a genuine dislike towards. How dare they laugh at him. Do they know what he went through? Do they know how much he sacrificed? All of this was in his mind, and it sickened him.

"Neo? I can get you to a hospital," the responder told him.

"The race......I can't let it go!" Neo said as he struggled to get up.

"I can't recommend you to get back on the track. It's over."

"It's not over! It never was!" he screamed as he stood up. "I have to race!"

The medic had stood up to look upon him. There was no sense of calm in his voice. Neo was clearly agitated as he could feel like he was humiliated. He made it this far just to have his leg give out and make his mind snap? If only he had his real leg, then none of this would happen. But, again, the thoughts were like knife wounds that stabbed into his very soul.

Neo looked upon the crowd when he finally saw it. Something that clearly stood out. It caused him to almost grit his teeth when his eyes befell it. It was an Itrean. One of the alien women stood out in the crowd. They were easy to tell. The anthro shark-like women easily stood over the humans. Having an average height of seven feet or more, they were indomitable. They generally had smooth gray scale-like skin with fins that protruded from their arms and long tails. This one, in particular, had purplish hair and green tattoos embedded on her arms. She wore a wrap-around dress that covered much of her body. Her hair flowed down on one side and down her broad shoulders and muscular frame. Her snout was a set of powerful shark-like jaws. Her eyes even had the yellowish and black eyes of a shark.

It was one of them.....Neo's mind knew it was them. He showed his teeth and practically walked towards the alien woman's direction. It caused the woman to almost recoil a little bit in surprise to see it happening. It was a Shal'rein.....the same subspecies that launched the brutal attack on Oshun.

"You!" Neo yelled at the woman. "It's your people's fault! You took my leg! You killed my comrades! You ruined my life!"

"I'm calling it," the medic said. "You're going to the hospital right now!"

Neo could sense that deep down that he was partially deranged at the moment. The rage of anger was something that caused him to snap out of it somewhat. The reaction of the alien woman was something that even showed a hint of genuine sympathy. It caused him to calm down further and almost regret what he said as the medic was starting to guide him to an ambulance vehicle.

"I.......I'm sorry," he tried to say. He had no idea if the Shal'rein woman had heard him or not. He wouldn't see her face again as he could see the doors of the vehicle had opened. All that Neo remembered was that his racing career was all but over. He could only hope that for now, that some form of extra help would come to him. The sounds of the distant motorcycles would continue to drive past the park. The beleaguered racer prayed for answers as he sat down in the interior mobile medical lab. Only time would tell what would happen next.

Chapter 3: Mending Old Wounds

"Then tell me what happened next?" the psychologist asked Neo. The look of concern on the man's face was apparent.

"You tell me....." Neo tried to say with a mild discouraging remark.

It had been well over three hours since the race. Neo sat down on the couch near his psychologist. He felt the familiarity of being in the room. It was one that he had been in many times before.....almost countless times.

The office itself was one that wasn't too big of a place. Oshun was never the sort of place that had much living space. There were a few posters and pieces of painted art that decorated the enclosed soundproof walls. There was a singular art-crafted metal desk, a couple of chairs, and a long comfy couch for one to sleep on. The room only consisted of a single enclosed sliding door that remained closed for this emergency discussion.

The psychologist was a person that Neo had already met many times before. Doctor Frenry was a man of mixed complexion. He was bald and wore nicely trimmed trousers and a blue-collar shirt. He had a tablet in his hand that he would look off and on at while occasionally typing something down on the screen. The only genuinely unique feature about him was the light blue-colored eyes that he had. The augmented eyes allowed him to see things that normal eyes couldn't, but Neo could never figure out why he didn't just get typical colored augmented eyes that were less noticeable.

Frenry shook his head. "That isn't going to work," the doctor told him. "Avoiding in answering the question isn't going to get you out of here anytime sooner."

"Don't you already have the information?" Neo asked with hesitation. "It's all there on your tablet."

"I read a little bit, but I prefer that you tell me out of your own words."

Frenry seemed more than cooperative. He was reasonable as any person would go. His tone was always straightforward in how he communicated, and Neo had little room to argue with him.

"Fine....." Neo relented. "I was.....racing in the final qualifying race from the Oshun-400. I was on the second lap when I......my leg stopped working."

"According to the report, you had a severe panic attack. We hadn't had that in over a month since now."

"I know....." Neo remarked as he sighed. He put his hands to his head as he sighed. "It was because of the stupid leg."

"Were you able to find out the problem?"

"It was one of the synthetic nerve clusters near the knee. The hospital took it and made the fixes to it before I got it back. I hadn't had any further problems since then."

"Is this a common issue with your leg, having malfunctions with it?"

"Why is that so important?"

"Because you verbally assaulted a pedestrian over it," the doctor continued.

Neo grimaced a little bit. "It......I don't know. It happened so fast that I barely had time to deal with it. I just remember everything falling apart after that first lap."

"You went through several races before," Fenrey commented as he tapped a couple of buttons on his tablet. "The last time you came here, you had panic attacks after the race was complete, but not to this extent."

"I know."

"Have you been taking your medications as prescribed?"

"Yes," Neo commented as he gave a simple nod in response.

"I see. Tell me how your sleeping has been. Notice any differences?"

"I still have a hard time sleeping at nights at times. I take the ones that are designed to knock me out.....the Descrenicol....it does too much of a good job at times."

"It's a heavy dosage that you're taking," Fenrey said as he briefly sighed. "The fact is that we are trying to find ways to help you."

"What about the Literencipred? Could that be increased to stop these......panic attacks?"

The doctor shook his head. "That isn't what I'm trying to get at. Neo, I have had a chance to evaluate much of your behavior, and I can conclude that what you have isn't any form of chemical imbalance. You have been fighting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder much like many veterans in the last year, especially those that fought against the Itreans. It isn't easy. Our goal is to try to find a long-term solution to help you. I had no problems in trying to get you more and more off the meds, but even in a relapse such as this, I feel that increasing meds will make things worse in the long run."

Neo got out of his chair as he showed signs of being flustered. "How am I supposed to operate in society now!?" his voice raised. "I practically pulled over and wept like a baby for no damn reason."

"You didn't sit down and weep like a baby. You were showing signs of being traumatized. The loss of your leg was one of the most dire moments that occurred to you in the course of five months. I know the full medical report. You almost died from the injury alone, and you saw it visually in front of your eyes."

"Of course....." Neo commented. "Wouldn't take long for somebody to upload my breakdown on every UWAN site out there. How am I supposed to view the world out there like this?"

"Like what you're doing now. We're here until we can try to find solutions to help you. Again.....I can't let you fault yourself over these events. You have been improving over time. Don't let this singular event define yourself. It's perfectly normal for you to behave in this sort of fashion."

Neo seemed unconvinced as he went and had a seat. "Yeah.....but now, I just lost the race because of it. I'm sure to get a DnF for this. I needed to at least get 5^th place to go to the Oshun-500 and UWALVR races."

Frenry nodded his head. "Maybe you felt that you were genuinely not ready to engage it."

Neo shook his head in disagreement. "No......I was more than ready for it. It's......been my dream to be faster than anybody in those streets. It isn't about......glory......I just want to be fast. I want to be a part of Oshun's history of street racers. Now......it's over. They won't give me a second chance......I'm sure of it."

The doctor seemed skeptical. "Are you absolutely sure of that?"

"Yes."

"I think that you should leave a message for the audience to go by......at least that is what I recommend for you. Be honest with your supporters. Let them know what has happened."

"Even if I lost the race?"

"Even if you lost the race," Fenrey confirmed. "I think that we need to look at further alternative solutions. For example, why do you want to be remembered by Oshun?"

"Because I was born here. I.....was part of the culture of street racers.....I even remember the times I got my first motorcycle working." Neo smiled as he thought about it. "I don't care too much about fame, but I still want to leave a legacy."

"Leave a legacy? There are many ways that it can be done. Can it be only achieved by racing?"

Neo seemed to think about it. "It is the only way that I know of."

"You've put all your hopes into one thing. I remember in the past appointments that you told me that ever since you were discharged because of your PTSD and leg injury that you wanted to get into the realm of racing. At the time, it was the way for you to heal."

"Why do I have a feeling you are about to tell me otherwise?"

The phycologist shook his head. "I'm still behind you if that is your desire. It was what you truly wanted, however. Today you had a breakdown because something else was bothering you. It drove you to pull over. You need something else to help you along the way."

Neo felt more inclined to disagree. "I don't see how I could feel that way. I just gave up my racing career because of this stupid event."

"Deep down, you want something different to happen, Neo. Racing is a part of you, but you need more than that. Your mind has made its decision. It knew that pulling over was your conscious telling you that more needed to be done. If you walked out of the race as a grand champion, you would still be in this office right now having the same problem as before."