Genesis

"We are only preparing you for a successful transition which will also aid us in gaining allies across the universe. We will all be as one."

"No." Her hands were balled into fists.

"No?"

"No." She shouted. "I won't let you."

"You have nothing to fear. The procedure is painless."

"I don't fucking care."

He stared at her trying to comprehend her response.

"What did the others say?"

"They were hesitant at first, but they have accepted."

"Why would they do that?" She stomped off getting as far from him as she could.

"There is no other way." He sat down at the table. "Is this not to your liking?" He motioned to the plate of food.

"What?" She realized he was talking about her food. "Are you really asking me about the food?"

"Can you explain your behavior yesterday?" He changed the subject again.

"Did you see the way they looked at me?" She spat the words out as if they could choke her.

"Yes."

"I'm a freak. I'm horrible. I don't even look human anymore."

"There is no doubt you look human."

"You don't understand. My skin, my body. It's all been burned. I'm disgusting." She stretched out her arms as if he couldn't see the obvious.

"Your skin is a variation of other human skin. It is no different than anyone else's."

"We humans don't feel that way. We have a certain sense of beauty that shapes us all."

"Yes. Beauty. I have found some references to this in the data fragments. I have witnessed the beauty of your people. Your poems, your music. There was much beauty on your world."

"I'm talking about physical beauty. Humans like to look a certain way."

"You look human."

"Jesus Christ. Just fucking look at me." She tore off her gown and stood motionless.

He sat quietly. She could see he didn't understand and she picked up her gown and put it back on.

"Listen. I am not going to let you change my brain. I don't want to lose my memories and I don't want to lose my aggression," she said defiantly.

"That is the only way your existence can be insured. We have found that starting over on a new planet creates difficulties because of previous life experiences. Once you believe that you originated from Epsal your transition will be smoother and you will carry on our civilization. It has been this way for others."

"You've done this before?"

"Yes."

"I won't let you do this to me." She paused. "Wait a minute. There has to be someone I can talk to. Someone in charge."

"I work with others on this project."

"Then talk to these others and tell them I'd rather be dead than brainwashed." She marched to the window and turned her back to him.

Arn stood up. "I will talk to the others."

"Arn, wait."

"Yes."

"You like me, don't you?" She stared out into the empty blackness.

"Like you?"

"I can tell when you're with me. I see the way you look at me." She waited for his response but he gave none. "Please help me."

He left the room. The door closed silently behind him.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Arn went to the quarters of Bal. Once inside he stood at the foot of the table where Bal was lying in the dormant stage. Earth information flickered on the desk monitor. He hoped that she had discovered something his research hadn't turned up. He thought of letting her sleep but he needed answers before he ran out of time. Barbara would be reprogrammed before they reached Epsal and it wouldn't be long before they entered its orbit.

Barbara. She was different than the others. They all started out afraid but soon gave in to the idea of forgetting everything. They wanted no part of the pain they had experienced and were willing to lose their memories to achieve that. Barbara wanted to keep all of her experiences despite the pain.

"Damal." Bal said placing her hand on her forehead.

"Hulat." Arn replied in the same manner. "I am having difficulty with the human Barbara."

She moved to her desk. "Tell me." He sat down across from her.

"She is refusing the reprogramming. She also does not wish to interact with the others. It is her appearance that is governing her decisions."

"Explain."

"Her altered skin seems to signify inferiority in her culture. She does not believe she belongs to her people."

"The reprogramming would change that." Bal studied the monitor.

"I explained. She chooses to remain in her present state of mind."

"That is difficult."

"I wish for her to remain Barbara."

"Remain Barbara?" Bal froze the image on the monitor.

"She wishes for her mind to remain as it is. And I wish the same."

"I see." Bal rose from her chair and stood behind Arn. She pressed her fingertips into his temple and her blue eyes became cloudy like the sky moments before a storm.

"She asked if you like her. You did not answer."

"No."

"You have emotions for the female."

"Yes."

"And you admire their culture."

"Yes."

Bal took her hands away and sat back down. "I have an idea that may benefit you both. I will approach the council and report their recommendation."

"I am grateful."

Bal brought up a second screen. "For now perhaps this will help."

______________________________________________________________________________

The next day Barbara sat at her desk waiting for Arn's visit, a plate of protein packs, barely touched, in front of her. Confusion and joy flooded through her since she had taken off her gown and looked down at her naked body. Her skin was normal. There were no scars or burns. Barbara ran her fingers over her soft, warm skin enraptured by its texture. She laughed to herself. How did he do it? She forgot everything that troubled her. "I'm normal." She kept saying over and over.

"I thought you would prefer this," Arn stood in the doorway.

"How is this possible?" She couldn't stop touching herself.

He sat down. "Two days ago you were placed in a dormant stage. The process was completed this morning."

"I was asleep for two days?" She wanted to be angry but just couldn't feel it.

"This is not your real skin. Think of it as a shelter for your body. You can remove it whenever you like. We thought it might aid you in your contact with the other humans."

"It seems so real." Even knowing it wasn't real didn't dilute her joy. "What do you see when you look at me?" She took his hand in hers.

"I see a human female who is compatible with our specie's way of life."

"Have there been any species that have not been compatible?"

"Yes."

"And what happened to them."

"They are extinct."

Barbara let that settle for a moment. "This is me. I am more than just a human female. I am Barbara. I am not like anyone else. Do you understand?"

"I do not."

"Every human is born with a unique spirit; an identity that we carry through our lives. We have a force of energy that is different from every other person. I have my own thoughts, my own feelings. My memories of all my experiences make me who I am today. I am the only Barbara that is like me, different from any other Barbara."

He placed his other hand on top of hers without knowing why.

"You didn't answer me yesterday when I asked you if you liked me." Barbara smiled.

"I enjoy our time together."

"That's not what I mean." She touched his cheek with a gentle caress.

He stood up. "I must go now. Once the council has made a decision there is nothing more to be done. I just wanted to tell you that."

"Let me remain Barbara, Arn."

He opened the door.

"I could be yours. If you let me stay who I am. I want to stay with you." She clutched his hand and tried to pull him close.

"It is not my decision." He hurried out without looking back.

______________________________________________________________________________

Back in his room Arn sat at his desk and opened his hand. In it he held a piece of protein pack that Barbara had taken a bite from. He'd snatched it from the plate in her room, uncertain why he was doing it. Now, he raised it slowly to his lips and gave a tentative lick. He could taste her saliva, the enzymes saturating his mouth. His head began to spin. His heart raced. It was as if he could taste her flesh. Completely confused by his feelings, he hungered to feel her. It was as if he were not himself. I have changed, he thought. These new sensations and thoughts pleased him. Was this what it was like to be human?

______________________________________________________________________________

Barbara laid naked on the bed. "You're watching me. I know you are." She called out.

"I am." His voice came from every direction.

"I want to see myself." She leaned on her elbows and listened for his voice.

The wall opened in the wall. The light in the room brightened and the window became reflective. Barbara moved cautiously toward it until she could see herself. Her skin looked perfect. Every part of her body excited her. She traced her hands across her stomach and up to her neck and face. Her hands held her head and she stared at herself. Her eyes moistened and left wet streaks down her cheeks.

The face in the reflection was young and beautiful. There were no lines of aging or blemishes of any kind. There was only one problem. It was not her face.

"Could you come see me?"

"Yes."

Barbara was still at the window when he arrived. He stood beside her and waited for her to speak.

"No matter how hard I try I just can't do it. That is not me." She pointed at her reflection. "I don't know who I am anymore." She rested her head against his arm. "Do you like to see me like this?"

"I enjoy seeing you."

Barbara moved away from him and stood by the bed. She laid her hands on her stomach and slowly brought them up to her breasts. She pinched the skin and pulled tearing a small strip that revealed her real skin.

"This is me. And I think you like this better." She sat down and held out her hand. "Come here."

He joined her and she took his hand and placed it on her breast. "Take it off."

"This is what you want?"

"I just want to be me."

Arn gripped the skin and pulled. It tore easily in a long pink strip that curled like the skin of an apple when it fell to the floor. Barbara touched her scarred breast and felt the thrill of being undressed. When he pulled another strip from her neck that ran down to her ankle, the air on her skin caught her breath. Each nerve ending worked overtime to tell her she could still feel. She knew that inside she was still Barbara no matter what she looked like.

She stood and turned around. Arn kept stripping her body, exposing her shoulders and back. His fingers traced along her buttocks and thighs. He revealed every part of her until she stood truly naked. Barbara lay on the bed. "Lie down with me."

He laid next to her and took her hand to his crotch. He pressed her finger against the seam and drew it up leaving a wet streak where it touched him. The seam opened up slowly, resembling a vagina, until his penis poked through.

Barbara touched it gently. She thought it resembled the stamen of a flower. The head like an anther and the shaft like a filament. She was fascinated by its silky texture and its size.

The color of Arn's skin had changed to a deep auburn and his eyes turned the brightest blue. She stroked his penis, and as it hardened, it curved up in a beautiful arc. She didn't know the right thing to do with him, so she just let her instincts take over.

"I want to put my mouth on it." Without waiting for his reply, she took him between her lips. Her tongue licked beneath the head and down the shaft. Her mouth worked up and down on him. He tasted like honey spiced with nutmeg. She gripped his penis and stroked him while sucking as far down as she could go.

Barbara could hear a sound coming from Arn. She listened closely and it reminded her of the somber tones a cello would make without the sorrow. Barbara let him go and climbed on top. Spreading her vagina she lowered herself on his odd looking penis.

Arn's body vibrated and she could feel the vibrations inside her. She was lost in the moment and closed her eyes feeling like a human being for the first time since she arrived. Her body responded in ways she had forgotten about. It was more than just physical. She felt like the darkness was finally beginning to lift. She fell against him and kept moving up and down on his penis. She wanted their fucking to never end.

His hands held her waist and when she began to tire he lifted her up and set her down over and over. Her first orgasm frightened Arn when she cried out.

"Have I hurt you?" He stopped moving.

"No. We humans show our pleasure this way. You make me feel good." She felt shame when she said those words. Billions of people dead and she felt no remorse. What right did she have to feel good? But she didn't care anymore. Why shouldn't she feel good? She was not dead. Her tears fell onto his chest and he took her hand and dipped her finger in the salty drops.

"What do you call this?" He held up her finger.

"Those are tears. Have you never had tears?"

"No. What do they do?"

"They tell me I still have a life to live."

"I wish to taste this life."

He slid her finger into his mouth and shuddered at the taste. Barbara put her fingers beneath her eyes and wiped up enough tears to wet her entire finger. She kissed his lips then touched her fingers to them. He kissed the fingertips and his tongue lightly grazed them. She put her fingers in his mouth and slid them over his tongue.

Barbara came a second time and her orgasm was so strong she nearly fell off of him. Her body felt like it had melted away. She was no longer bound to it and had the same sensation she had when she was in the immersion tank. Buoyant and free like a dove with wings spread floating on an ocean breeze. She was about to cum again when she felt the muscles of his penis contract. He must be ready to cum, she thought. He thrust deep inside her and they came together. Arn held her in his arms until the staunch quakes that echoed through their bodies dispersed. Her skin was slick with sweat and she felt high like she had taken drugs.

She rolled of him and rested her head on his chest. His penis disappeared back inside and the seam closed.

"My whole life I've kept people away. I've never let anyone get close. And when I arrived here I thought that was it. I would never have the chance to be a part of anything or anyone." She sat up and held his hand against her chest. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do not understand."

Barbara lowered her head and tried again. "Something inside me has opened for the first time in my life. I want you to be a part of me, of my life. I want to stay with you."

"I do not wish for you to leave." For the first time his voice lost some of its sweet sounding resonance. His skin and eye color returned to its original blue.

"I don't have to. There has to be a way."

"There is a way." Bal's image appeared on the monitor. "I have just come from the council. They have decided in her favor. She will not be reprogrammed and has been given clearance to stay with us as long as she wishes."

"Oh my god. Thank you." Barbara said to the image. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." She hugged Arn and rocked in his arms. "I can't believe it. I'll still be me."

"I am pleased, Barbara."

She kissed him and her tears ran down his chest.

He kissed her back, his lips awkward at this new custom. "Since you are staying with us I have many things to show you. I think you will be fascinated."

"Can you show me now? I've been in this room for so long I just want to get out." She felt like she was whining and laughed.

"We can go now."

Barbara dressed and Arn opened the door. Before they could leave Bal paraded in with two others. They immediately took Barbara by the arms and pulled her from the room.

"What's going on?" Barbara demanded.

"It is time for the reprogramming." Bal's voice sounded cheerful.

"No. You said I didn't have to go." She looked to Arn.

"I do not understand." Arn grasped Barbara's hand and she clamped down on it.

"Do not be so troubled. You should both be pleased." He led them down the hall.

"What are you talking about?" Barbara struggled to free herself but the two aliens were too strong.

"I devised this for you Barbara. One last Earth custom before you leave us. I have studied the data stream and discovered the human desire to share in commemorating certain days. The most intriguing custom is the celebration of the day of truth discovered from false concepts."

"Let me go." Barbara screamed. She became like a wild animal trying to bite or claw her way free.

"You will be pleased." Bal said over her protests.

Bal stopped the procession and Arn stared silently at her.

"The April of one. April Fool's Day."

Barbara looked at Arn who looked bewildered. She stopped resisting and burst into tears. Her crying turned to screams. I'm a dead woman. That's all I am. Her screams turned to mad laughter that fell flat in the still air. Her legs didn't work anymore and she was dragged down the corridor until she could no longer be seen.

"She was pleased." Bal said content with herself. "Are you not also pleased?"

He stared down the empty corridor. "I do not understand." He left Bal and returned to his quarters. The monitor on his desk was still on and Barbara's empty room was displayed. He rested his head down on his arms the way Barbara had done before.

Far from the room she had known as home, Barbra was led to a long line of her fellow humans. "It's the April of one everybody. It's all just a joke." She screamed. "They just don't understand. None of you understand."

They all ignored the screaming woman and waited their turn. Soon they would all forget and the last humans would disappear forever.