Getting Even Pt. 01

- "You want to set me up with your friends?"

- "Why not? Okay, maybe it sounds a little weird, considering what we did last night. But I know they'd be crazy about you, and I bet you would really like them, too."

- "Umm ..."

- "Trust me on this, Ben. Hey - what have you got to lose?"

- "Did they just get out prison for murdering their last boyfriend?"

- "Nah. They were acquitted." she said, with a big grin. "No - nothing like that. Just ... book nerd and physical fitness freak, and really good people. Nothing too weird, I promise."

"And it wouldn't mean that we couldn't get together again. Honestly: if you don't like at least one of my friends, I promise I'll come back here and fuck your brains out."

- "Millie - you do realize that you just gave me a major reason to not like your friends."

She smiled. "Trust me, Ben. You will."

Millie used my shower, re-applied her makeup, and was ready to go. I wasn't about to send her home in the cab. I figured the least I could do was to drive her home.

- "Really? You don't have to." she said.

- "I have some errands to run anyway." I fibbed.

- "In Port Credit?"

- "On the way back."

Millie smiled at me. "You're a really sweet guy, Ben. Thank you."

I had no way of knowing it at the time, but my life was about to change - dramatically.

***

Luke and Marco were dying to know what had happened to me after I left the club. I wasn't about to tell them anything at work, and I wasn't going to tell one of them alone, and then have to repeat myself to the second.

- "I'll tell you Tuesday night." I promised.

We played basketball. It was a good group of guys. They were competitive, and there were the usual arguments about fouls, but nobody got too hot. They kept score, but only in terms of how many points one team was up. No one recorded stats, so if one guy wanted to claim a double double ... well, good for him.

Then we usually went for a beer (or three) at the pub.

- "You're killing me, man." said Luke. He'd struck out with his match-date Saturday night, and couldn't believe that I'd left with 'the hot blonde'.

- "Details, Ben." said Marco. "You're killin' us here."

- "She's a very nice girl." I said. "She came home with me, and we discussed fine art and literature into the early hours."

- "Oh, fuck - I knew it!" said Luke.

Marco frowned. "Details, man. Do you know what details are?"

I did. But I didn't share them.

I know. I've written all the details down for you - but you're unlikely to ever meet Millie (not her real name, anyway), whereas it's entirely possible that Luke or Marco could end up with her on another occasion. If that should happen, they wouldn't want to be thinking about what she did with me.

Back home, a good friend of mine started dating my ex (my very first girlfriend - not Rachel). I was okay with it. So was she. But I was never quite sure how he felt about it - was he picturing me with his girlfriend? Awkward.

Besides, when it comes to you, I'm giving you details for what happened afterwards, so that you can try (as I did) to make sense of them.

***

Unidentified caller.

"Ben! How are you, stud?"

- "Umm ... hi?"

- "What? You don't recognize my voice? You forgot me already?"

- "Millie?"

- "There we go! How are you, Ben?"

Millie had programmed my number into her phone. I didn't remember how (or when) she'd done that.

"We're having a backyard mixer. Barbecue. BYOB. Bring your friends from the club - it's the least you can do after dumping them to go home with me. Bring something to throw on the barbecue, too. And swim suits, if you want - there's a pool."

Millie didn't pause to draw breath. I didn't get a chance to ask a question, or to decline.

"Texting you the address."

- "Uh - could you give me a hint about the date and time?" I asked.

- "You're so funny." she said.

Luke and Marco needed no convincing.

- "The blonde from the club? And more like her? I'm so there." said Luke.

- "Bikinis ..." said Marco. I think he was drooling.

There were cars parked all over the street. It was obviously a bigger party than I'd been expecting. I was wearing a bathing suit under my shorts, in case we decided to swim. Between towels, a case of beer, a bottle of wine for the hostess, and our food contribution, we arrived looking like sherpas.

And we didn't know a soul in the place. There must have been 40 people there - and half of them were staring at us.

- "Ben!"

Thank God for Millie. She made us feel welcome, showed us where to stow our gear, and then introduced us to Eleanor, the hostess. I gave her the bottle of wine, and thanked her for inviting us.

Luke and Marco followed Millie when she moved on, leaving me alone with Eleanor. She was good-looking, but super-opinionated. I made one attempt to change the subject, but she quickly brought us back to her favourite subject: herself and her opinions.

Fortunately, someone more important than me arrived to claim her attention, so that I was able to make a polite escape.

I'd almost finished my first beer, so I headed for where we'd left our cooler. I was considering a second beer - but that would have to be it, because I was the designated driver again.

There was a girl standing next to it, by herself.

- "Hello." I said.

- "Hi."

I popped open the cooler, and grabbed a beer. Then I remembered my manners.

- "Would you like anything? We have beer, iced tea, and some ... more beer, I think."

- "Oh. Thanks for offering." she said. "Umm ... what kind of beer?"

- "My unenlightened friends drink generic light beer, but I also have some Hoegaarden, if you're interested." I pronounced Hoegaarden correctly.

- "I've never heard of it. What's it like?"

- "Why don't you try a sip of mine, and see if you like it?"

- "Oh. May I?"

- "Be my guest."

Hoegaarden is a Belgian wheat/white beer. It smells terrific (coriander and orange peel), and nothing tastes better on a hot summer day. When all of the domestic brews have been pasteurized and homogenized until you can't tell them apart, this import has character.

Hey - you may not like it. But if you never try something a little different, you'll never know. And if you're trying to figure out how I went from 'shy guy completely out of place at the nightclub' to 'Mr. Sociable beer aficionado' ... the answer is very simple: location, location, location.

Backyard barbecues, kitchen parties - these types of gatherings are right in my wheelhouse. You just talk to people. Be yourself. Simple.

While she took a sip of my beer, I was able to check out my new acquaintance. She was plain: long, light brown hair, blue eyes, and a healthy rack. Hey - in my own defence, she was wearing a short top that left her arms and midriff bare, and a pair of cut-off shorts. It was hard not to notice all of the exposed parts. And while the buttons on her top were all done up, it was quite evident that she was fairly chesty.

Her eyebrows were pretty thick, and she wasn't wearing much (if any) makeup, but she had that wholesome, girl-next-door vibe.

She looked surprised.

- "That's ... nice. I wasn't expecting -"

- "Now just smell it." I suggested.

- "Smell it?" She did. Then she smiled, and her face was transformed. Cute. Definitely cute. "Wow. Is that orange peel?"

She accepted a bottle of Hoegaarden.

- "Ben." I said, extending my hand.

- "Oh - you must think I'm so rude - taking your beer and I haven't even ... Kira. Kira-Anne, but I prefer just ... Kira."

- "Pleased to meet you. Friend of Eleanor?"

- "No. I came with my friend Millie. Well ... your friend Millie, too."

Kira smiled shyly. She knew Millie had invited us? Did she know that Millie and I ...? Something told me that the little blonde had blabbed about our encounter. Wait, now ... was Kira one of the friends that Millie wanted me to meet?

- "I'm trying to picture you and Millie out on the town together - but I'm having trouble."

Kira smiled again. "No. I don't ... go to nightclubs, or that kind of thing. I know her from work. When I first started, she was assigned to train me, and ... she really went the extra mile. I mean, she went out of her way to help me. She's very kind."

- "I agree. Millie is good people."

- "She is. Men - and women - just see her looks, and they think she's really pretty, but she's a wonderful person, with a heart of gold."

- "I couldn't agree more." I said.

Kira blushed a little. She had heard something of my first meeting with her workmate.

- "Ben!"

As if on cue, Millie herself arrived, with another girl in tow.

"Hey! You've already met Kira. Alright. I was looking for you, girl." said Millie. "And here's someone else I wanted you to meet. Ben - Anita."

- "Hi, Ben." Anita was ... wow. I've never forgotten how she looked, that first time I saw her. Brown hair, with blonde highlights. Just the right amount of makeup to make it seem like she wasn't really trying all that hard. Beautiful brown eyes, the little stud in the nose (an exact duplicate of Millie's - did they have them done together? A 2 for 1 deal?).

Anita was lovely. She had an athletic body, and a 1000-watt smile.

- "Hey." I remembered to extend my hand. She took it, with a firm grip. She had confidence, and my head was spinning as she ticked a dozen of my boxes in the first few seconds since I'd met her.

- "Is that Hoegaarden?" she said (pronouncing it correctly).

- "You know it?"

- "Oh, man. Best summer beer, ever." said Anita. "Beats Corona any day."

- "Would you like one?"

- "Yes, please! Wow - Millie - you were right. I like him already."

Millie smiled at me, with a sort of 'My work here is done' look.

- "Well, if you guys are going to talk beer, that's my cue. I'll catch up with you later."

- "Hey Kira-Anne." said Anita. "You having one of these, too?"

- "My first. It's really good."

We talked about beer for a few minutes. Anita knew Belgian beers: Kriek, Lambics, Duchesse de Bourgogne ... I was probably standing there with my mouth open.

- "I met your buddies." said Anita "Luke and ..."

- "Marco."

- "Right. Leafs fans." She rolled her eyes.

I had to laugh. "They are. Wait - who do you cheer for?"

- "Pittsburgh." she said, with a touch of defiance, as if daring me to contest her choice. Given her age, though - mid twenties - it made perfect sense. She'd probably been entranced by Sid the Kid and Yevgeny Malkin when she was a little girl. I could respect that.

"What about you?" she retaliated.

- "Detroit." I said.

- "WHAT?" Anita was so loud, people turned to look. "They suck. How did you end up a Wings fan?"

I sighed. "My grandfather told me everything you ever wanted to know about Gordie Howe - and more. My Dad was a Steve Yzerman fan, and he had a thing for a girl from Detroit before he met my Mom. Guess I sort of inherited it."

- "That's fair. Sad ... but understandable." Anita said it with a smile, to take the sting out of it. "Hey - look at the bright side: you're not a Toronto fan."

- "Do you like hockey, Kira?" I asked. I hadn't completely forgotten her - well, only for a minute or two. I made an effort to bring her back into the conversation.

- "I don't really have a team." she said. "The Leafs are ... hard to follow."

- "Darn right." said Anita.

I was racking my brain for a topic that might appeal to both of these women.

"So ..." said Anita. "Millie said that you had a whole row of Terry Pratchett books on your bookshelf. True?"

Holy shit. I looked from Anita, to Kira, and back.

- "Did ... did Millie tell you everything?"

- "Not everything. Just ... most of it."

Anita was grinning; Kira was blushing. I didn't quite know what to do with myself.

I offered them another beer, and tried to find another topic of conversation. When in doubt, ask questions: Kira had gone to U of T for Sociology. Anita had been at Western for Health Sciences. She'd also been on their swim team. That helped to explain her trim, powerful body.

Later on, when my buddies had had enough, and we were getting ready to leave, Millie came over to see me. Anita and Kira both said that they'd been pleased to meet me, and gave way to their friend. Anita gave me a lingering look, and a big smile.

- "Good day?" asked Millie, with a big smile of her own.

- "Thank you for inviting us." I said.

- "Listen," she said, "two weeks from today, there's a bunch of us going out for dinner. For my birthday, actually. Why don't you come out with us?"

- "For your birthday?"

- "Yeah. And you can invite Luke and Marco, too."

- "Really? You want the three of us at your birthday?" I was surprised. I mean, I was just a one-night stand who might morph into a friend, but Millie had only just met my buddies today.

- "Eight girls and one guy, so far. You three can even it up a bit. You all fit in today, didn't you?" Millie gave me a big grin.

- "I guess we did. Thanks, Millie. I'll look forward to it."

- "So ... what did you think of Anita? And Kira?"

- "You knew that I'd like them, didn't you?"

- "Duh. Give me your phone."

- "My phone?"

Millie took it from my hands, and put in two phone numbers. Anita's, and Kira's.

- "Enjoy." she said.

***

Millie was a genius - and a tormentor. Why introduce me to two girls?

I liked Kira. She was cute, natural, and chesty. She also seemed really nice.

Anita, though ... hot, athletic ...never mind pronouncing Hoegaarden correctly; she'd also recognized Terry Pratchett's name. I remembered her confident handshake, and my imagination went into overdrive. Independent, hot as hell, bright, fun ... what was not to like?

Why wait? I don't know the exact time period that guys are supposed to delay before calling a woman they've met, to show that they're interested, but not too needy or too desperate. Anita was broadcasting on all of my channels. Why not let her know?

So I went online, and bought two tickets to the Toronto Marlies' game for the following Saturday. The Marlies were a junior hockey team - a farm team for the Maple Leafs.

After thinking it over, though, I decided not to call her that Sunday night. Too soon? Monday night would be better. Right?

Marco, Luke and I sometimes met for lunch at work, when our schedules permitted it. Monday was one of those days.

Luke was grinning from ear to ear.

- "You guys won't believe this." he said. "But one of the chicks from the party on Saturday called me last night. Remember Anita - the one with the streaks in her hair?"

I felt a sudden queasiness.

- "Yeah." said Marco. "She was pretty hot."

- "So she calls me last night, and asks me to come over tonight. For a few drinks, she says. Wants to get to know me better." Luke gave us both a slow wink.

I was stunned. Shocked, really. I was convinced that Anita and I had really connected on Saturday. We had so much in common, and she'd seemed to really enjoy talking with me. I thought she'd be expecting me to call.

How much time had she spent talking to Luke? A few minutes? And then an hour with me? Obviously, my radar was in dire need of repair.

Monday night was ... painful. I couldn't stop thinking about Luke over at Anita's place. I even considered the possibility that she was getting to know him so that she could get closer to me - but that made no sense. I watched two action adventure movies and drank all of the beer in my fridge.

On Tuesday, I felt like shit. I was working on the 4th floor, so I didn't see my buddies until our basketball game that evening.

Luke was grinning from ear to ear.

- "Somebody got lucky last night." said Marco.

- "Couple of drinks," said Luke, "a little chit-chat, and wham - she drags me to the bedroom. Nailed her twice. I'm tellin' you, man -"

I held up a hand, and Luke was good enough to spare me the graphic details. He could tell Marco whatever he liked, in private. I've just never cared for hearing about the intimate moments shared by other people.

Especially in this case.

I was shocked - all over again. My pleasant little delusion - that Anita's interest in Luke was platonic - shot down in flames. Blown out of the air, more like.

I played like shit that night, and even threw up a couple of air balls. I took a fair bit of abuse for that.

We went out for a beer afterwards. Luke wanted to talk about his conquest. I realized that I still had the Marlies' tickets - and no one to go with.

I asked Marco if he was interested.

- "This Saturday? Sorry, man. Sister's birthday. No can do."

I offered one to Luke.

- "Ah - wish I could, dude. But I'm planning round two with Anita ... you know? Why would you buy tickets to the Marlies, anyway?"

I had two tickets to a hockey game, and no one to go with. Why did I buy the tickets before asking Anita? I should've thought that out better. No. I'd simply - and completely - misjudged her. What was I going to do now? Going to the game alone didn't particularly appeal to me.

I definitely needed something to do that night. Sitting alone at a hockey game would be weird - especially since I knew I'd be thinking about Anita with Luke. Well, best to get over that. I couldn't begrudge Luke his good luck, even if I didn't understand it.

Move on, Ben, I told myself.

So I decided to trust in Millie. I went to my phone. Hell ... the worst that could happen was that she'd say no.

- "Hello?"

- "Hi Kira. It's Ben - from the backyard party?"

- "Oh - Hi, Ben!"

- "You remember me?"

- "Of course I do. My first taste of Hoegaarden - I went out and bought a six-pack, to make sure that I really liked it."

- "And?"

She laughed. "It wasn't a fluke. I read online that you can put a slice of orange in it, and it's even better."

- "Wow - advanced studies."

- "Yes. Thanks to you."

- "Listen, Kira. The reason I called - I have a couple of tickets to a junior hockey game, and I wondered if you wanted to go with me."

Pause.

- "That sounds very nice, Ben. When is it?"

I told her the date and time.

"I'm free." she said.

- "Excellent." I said. "Pick you up at 6:30?"

- "I'm looking forward to it."

***

Luke cornered me at work on Friday.

- "Hey - Ben? You still have those tickets to the game tomorrow?"

- "No. Not anymore. I asked somebody else. I thought you had plans?"

- "So did I. But Anita turned me down. She didn't even make up a decent excuse. I don't get it." He shook his head. "I just don't get it."

- "That sucks."

- "You're not kidding. I mean, the sex was fantastic. I was looking forward to more. A lot more."

I didn't know what else to say.

"Oh, well." said Luke "Say - who did you ask to the game?"

- "Kira. She was at the backyard party, too. Millie gave me her number."

- "Oh - the little brunette? With the - " Luke held his hands out, in front of his chest.

- "She's a nice girl. Really sweet."

- "Right. Well ... have a good time."

- "Thanks."

Kira dressed warmly - sensibly. But the first time the whistle blew, she looked at me, completely confused.

- "What happened?"

- "Offsides." I had to explain why there were blue and red lines on the ice, and the reasons for the offsides rule. Kira listened attentively, and nodded her head. She got it quickly enough.

Kira didn't know the first thing about hockey. Why on earth had she agreed to come to the game?

It took me a few minutes to figure out. Then it was my turn to blush. Kira just wanted to be with me. It was flattering ... but a little daunting.

Of course, she wasn't as attractive as Anita. Not as athletic, not as well-read, not as ... many other things.

She did have a good sense of humour, though. Kira was attentive, easy-going, and I was growing to like her smile even more all the time.