Gift of Life

"No. You...you look...really nice," he told her while trying hard not to look below her chin.

Because the dress was black, he hadn't noticed how 'well endowed' she was, but it was obvious she was the exact size he found most appealing which was a full-B or small-C.

"I'm so glad to meet you," she said even as Eric's eyes made the quickest of glances a little too far south which she noticed but ignored.

"Same here," he told her before motioning for them to go inside.

He also noticed that in the heels, she was roughly his same height, and as he opened the door for her, he also saw several men and a couple of women turn her way. The initial looks turned into something closer to stares as she walked toward the counter.

"What can I get you?" she asked as soon as Eric was by her side.

"Wait. You think you're paying?" he asked as though that was out of the question.

"Well, of course. I'm the one who asked you here, and you're the one doing me a favor, so yes, I'm definitely paying."

She smiled at him, and when she did, Eric felt something he couldn't ever remember feeling before about any woman, let alone one so much older than him. He was not only very attracted to her in a physical sense, a first for any woman her age, but maybe what he wasn't feeling for a woman he found attractive was the thing he found so odd. As he gave her another once over, he realized he had no 'lustful thoughts' about this older, very attractive woman he'd just met.

"Okay, but on one condition," he told her as he looked up just before catching him checking her out.

"Yes?"

"I pay for everything on our first date."

If there was any way he could have retracted those words, he would have done so. Eric was so used to flirting with beautiful women that he lost sight of why he was meeting with her, and he couldn't have felt worse. Until she laughed.

"You're a very nice looking man, Eric, so the last thing you'd want to do is go out with the likes of me. But I have to say your very sweet kidding around made my day, and I thank you for that."

She was still smiling and clearly not offended, and Eric was so relieved he finally exhaled, unaware he'd been holding his breath waiting for the opportunity to apologize.

Renee paid for their drinks then waited for Eric to find them a place to sit. There was an open table for two near the window, and that's where they ended up.

He helped her with her chair, she thanked him, and then he thanked her for the coffee.

Renee took a small sip of her vanilla latte then said, "I won't keep you long. I really just wanted to personally thank you for what you did."

"And now, also in person, let me tell you it was my honor," Eric told her. "And for the record, you're not keeping me. I'm...I'm really enjoying talking with you."

The way she was looking at him told him she wasn't just looking. She was...searching.

"You know, I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I was expecting someone completely different from who you are," Renee confessed.

Understanding what it was she was searching for, Eric politely asked her, "May I ask what it was you were expecting?"

Renee looked at him then looked into her coffee cup. After a lengthy moment of trying to gather her thoughts, she looked at him again and explained.

"I suppose my expectation was someone who was...cocky."

"Cocky?"

"Yes. I know it's not fair, but you sounded young and confident, and perhaps I let my biases or prejudices, whatever they may be, conjure up someone who fit them."

She saw Eric tilt his head as he took her words in, so before he could reply, she finished her thought.

"On the positive side, I was expecting this brash, cocky, young man to be nice looking, and that part, at least, is true."

The smile that came with the comment hit Eric hard. So hard, in fact, that he experienced something else he hadn't felt about a woman in many, many years, if ever at all.

Just being with her and listening to her speak made him want to...to be the best man he could possibly be. She made him not care that he and his fellow EMTs were quite often exactly the way she'd described her image of him. With Renee, all he wanted to be was honest, humble, and kind; words he'd never before applied to himself. Okay, he actually was honest, and almost to a fault, but no one would ever call him humble.

He was so lost in this swirl of thoughts that he didn't hear her say, "I just didn't picture him being as attractive as you are."

By the time her words registered with him, she was apologizing for saying them.

"That didn't come out right. I hope I didn't come across as a crazy, older, widowed woman desperate enough to...hit on...an attractive, younger man."

"That's the last thing I'd have ever thought, Mrs. Johnson," he told her sincerely.

"Thank you for being understanding, Eric. And will you please call me Renee?"

"I will," he promised her with a smile.

"And with that, I should probably let you go. I'm sure you have all kinds of things you'd rather be doing than sitting here listening to me ramble on."

"No. Actually, there's not one thing I'd rather be doing that sitting here talking with you," he told her just as sincerely as before.

"I think someone needs to get out more," Renee teased.

"I know you're kidding, but I actually get out quite a bit. More than I probably need to," he said in a gentle...humble...way.

More words Eric had never said before also came out of his mouth after a short pause.

"In fact, the kind of 'getting out' I do is well, getting...very old."

"I have a pretty good idea what you mean, but I'm not going to ask if I'm right," Renee told him, another smile appearing on her pretty face that indicated she knew he meant 'getting out and getting it on with the ladies'. But that was no surprise considering how attractive he was.

Eric found himself wanting to get to know this woman and everything about her. The obvious topic was her husband, and he could think of no better way to get acquainted than through her memories of him.

"Would you mind telling me about your husband?" he asked as politely as he could.

"No. Not at all. What would you like to know?" she asked, more than willing to talk about the only man she'd ever loved.

"Everything. Or at least as much as you're comfortable sharing."

An hour and change later, Renee said, "You have to be sick of this by now."

"No, not at all," Eric assured her. "I can honestly tell you I've never enjoyed talking with anyone as much as I'm enjoying talking with you."

"You just shattered another stereotype I had of you."

"Oh?"

"I also assumed you'd be impatient and self-absorbed," Renee further admitted, her eyebrows raised in a way that showed embarrassment and the need for forgiveness.

"Wow," Eric replied.

"I know. That's pretty terrible, isn't it?"

"What? No. It's actually...true. I've been self-absorbed all of my adult life," Eric said, now playing the role of the one confessing.

"But you're an EMT. You give of yourself every day."

"Thank you for saying that, Renee. But in my personal life, there's never been room for anyone but me."

"I'll take your word for it, Eric, but everything I've learned about you says that isn't true."

He smiled politely then said, "It's very possible that the right person can bring out the best in someone."

He hesitated then added, "Even one who's never cared about anyone but himself before."

"Oh. I see," Renee replied, now wondering what, if anything, he meant by that.

Eric sensed her discomfort and then became an apologizer, too.

"I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I was only trying to say that you..."

Not sure how to phrase it, Eric stopped talking then looked out the window for a second or two before saying, "You...I don't know. You bring out the best in me. Or make me feel like I want to be the best I can or..."

"Eric, we barely know each other," Renee quietly said before he could finish.

"And that's the part I can't explain," Eric informed her. "It's true. I just don't know why it's true."

"That's very kind of you to say, whatever the reason may be."

Eric sighed then said, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, either, but I had a very...unflattering impression...of who you might be."

"Oh? Do tell," Renee said, her smile back in full bloom.

"I'm afraid it was even worse than your impression of me. Or what you thought I'd be."

"Oh, my. I'm almost afraid to ask," Renee said, the smile still there.

"Let's just say you are the absolute opposite of everything I pictured in my mind before you sent me that pic."

There was no need to ask. Renee was fairly certain he was referring to her personal appearance, and she definitely didn't want to hear him describe what he imagined her looking like.

"And it has been quite possibly the nicest surprise of my life," Eric added.

"I'm not sure, but I think a 'thank you' might be in order here," Renee told him, her smile even brighter.

"It's the truth," Eric told her. "You are an incredibly attractive woman."

For the first time, Renee realized he was not only being serious, he was almost certainly fitting with her. Not in any crass sort of way. He was tastefully letting her know he found her attractive. But because he was so much younger than her, she wasn't sure what to do with whatever it was he was saying. So...she asked him a question to change the subject.

"You mentioned 'spending time' with the wrong kind of people. May I ask what you enjoy doing when you're not working or...doing that?"

Eric laughed then told her he wasn't sure.

"I spend so much of my non-working time pursuing the wrong kind of women, I don't really know what it is I'd enjoy. But as to things I like doing, I do try and get the gym as often as possible."

He hesitated then said, "Gee. I'm a pretty shallow guy, huh?"

Renee laughed and told him the jury was still out on that particular question.

"My husband, Phillip, and I were avid runners and we also loved hiking and other outdoor activities. About a year before he died, we bought bicycles and ended up riding several days a week. I stopped riding after the accident, but I thoroughly enjoyed it while it lasted.

If Desiree, my daughter, had any interest, I'd ride with her whenever she was home."

"You don't have a friend to ride with you?" Eric asked, a little surprised to think she couldn't find one person willing to ride a bicycle with her.

"No. With one exception, a friend I run with, I don't have any friends who are into exercise, per se. One does Pilates, and one does Yoga, but I'm not much for either one. So I run alone most days, and no, there's no one to ride with."

"I uh, I enjoy riding a bike," Eric said, even though it had been years since he'd even owned one, and he'd never particularly enjoyed riding it when he did.

Again, he saw what appeared to be an uncomfortable look on Renee's face, so he tried to explain.

"I was just saying that we might have something in common."

"Oh. Okay. I had this silly notion you were suggesting we should, you know, that we might..."

"Ride together?"

"I guess so. I have no idea why I thought that, but yes, I had the impression that's where you were going."

The way she looked at him, or maybe the way he was looking at her, emboldened Eric who said, "Then again, wouldn't it be nice if you had someone to ride with?"

Renee gave him a funny look, but when she realized he was serious, she asked him if he meant that.

"Well, we don't live all that far away from each other, and we could definitely ride together every now and then."

When she didn't respond right away, Eric said, "If you wouldn't mind being seen with the likes of me."

That made her laugh then say, "No. I was actually thinking the same thing only with you not being sure you'd want to be seen with me."

"Are you kidding?" Eric replied, nearly incredulous at the insinuation. "I'd be the envy of every guy who saw us together."

"Ha! Now you're making me question your sanity!" Renee told him, but secretly loving the compliment.

"No, I'm serious. I'd love to ride with you, Renee. In fact, why don't we make a point of getting together one day this upcoming week and see how it goes?"

"I...it's been a very long time since I've ridden my bike, Eric. You won't be getting much of a workout if you ride with me."

"Maybe. Maybe not," he replied with a smile. "But I would be doing something with someone I really enjoy spending time with."

"All kidding aside, I've really enjoyed this, too," Renee told him quite seriously. "So if you really want to do this—then, yes. I'd love to."

"Really?" Eric said, unable to contain his enthusiasm.

"Yes. Really. That sounds very nice, actually."

"Well, we have each other's numbers, so I'll text you with some ideas. If you have other or better suggestions, just let me know," Eric told her.

"I'm open to pretty much anything except riding in traffic," Renee let him know. "So just let me know what you'd like to do, and if our schedules mesh, we'll give this a try."

"I'm looking forward to it," Eric replied. "And I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been meeting you and getting to know you."

"Yes! Same here," Renee readily agreed. "I couldn't have imagined this ending anywhere even close to this in my wildest dreams."

"Especially with a brash, cocky, impatient kid, right?" Eric teased.

"Ouch!" she said with a clear wince. "I deserved that, but it still stung a little."

Eric laughed just as they both got ready to stand up.

"May I walk you outside?" he asked once they were on their feet.

"I'd like that very much," she said, that bright, beautiful smile once again appearing in a flash.

He walked her to her car, thanked her again for the coffee and her wonderful company, then stood there looking at her, not quite sure what to do.

Renee solved the problem when she raised her arms indicating a hug was fine, and Eric gladly accepted the offer. It was a short, platonic hug, but just the brief moment he held her in his arms made him feel like he'd never felt before.

The feeling was so profound he again nearly missed something she said, but his brain caught up and knew what it was.

"You're very welcome for the coffee, but don't forget you're paying next time."

The fog lifted immediately, and Eric said with a laugh, "Right. On our first date."

Renee then laughed, too, and the way she did was indicative of how much the way she viewed this younger man had changed since the moment they first met. She didn't say that, and Eric didn't know it, but it was still true.

He opened her door for her, waited for her to smooth her dress and get in, then closed it.

"Drive safely," he told her, his smile still there.

"Oh, right. Yes, I don't want to see you again today. At least not under those circumstances," she replied with a laugh, indicating she wasn't even thinking about 'the' accident.

"No. Definitely not like that. But under any other circumstance would be wonderful, Renee."

She smiled very sweetly then said, "Yes. I believe it just might," before starting her car.

Eric stepped back, wished her a good day, then said 'goodbye'.

Renee smiled back at him then put the car in gear and drove off.

Once she was out of the parking lot and he was back in his own car, Eric said out loud, "What in the world just happened?"

And as he drove home, he realized it wasn't just a rhetorical question. Unless his ability to read social cues was far worse than he could possibly imagine, something had most definitely happened.

When Renee got home, she sat down, pulled her phone out of her purse, and called her daughter.

"Dezzie? Hi. Do you have some time to talk?"

"Sure, Mom. What's up?"

"I just had the most interesting meeting," her mother replied in a tone of voice that caused her daughter to think something potentially bad had happened.

"What kind of meeting, Mom?" a worried Desiree asked.

"I guess the word I'd use to describe it is...confusing. Interesting might work, but mostly just confusing."

"Mom? That didn't help at all."

"Okay. Well, you know how I told you I would be looking into who received your father's organs, right?"

"Of course. Did you meet one of the recipients?"

There was genuine concern in that question, but Renee wasn't picking up on her daughter's tone of voice. She was still trying to sort through what had just happened at Starbucks.

"No. I haven't had any luck with that at all, and the truth is, I probably never will. But I did just meet the most interesting...person...I've talked to in a very long time."

"Person?" Desiree asked, trying to get her mom to stop beating around the bush.

"Yes. Person. An EMT, actually."

"Would this...person...be a man or a woman?"

"A man," her mother replied.

Desiree was utterly tuned in to her mom's voice, and each time she thought she was getting somewhere, it changed, leading to a sense of exasperation.

"Okay. So...?"

"So...it was very...confusing."

"Oh, my G..."

Desiree bit her tongue before letting her frustrations boil over.

"Momz?" she said in an overly sweet way. "Can you please get to the point?"

"Sorry. Sure," her mother replied.

There was a long pause before Renee said, "I...I think he asked me out."

There was another pause on Desiree's end before she said, "Wait. Isn't that a good thing?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh. You didn't like him?"

"No. I did like him. A lot."

"Then what's the problem?"

Renee took a couple of seconds to say, "I like him...but I shouldn't. Like him."

Desiree exhaled loudly then, almost patronizingly said, "Okay. We're both speaking English, and yet I feel like we're talking two different languages. Why shouldn't you like a man you like..."

Desiree's voice trailed off before saying, "Unless he's...married?"

That word nearly floored her mother.

"Dezzie! How could you even think that?"

"I don't know. I guess it was the only thing I could think of. So...is he?"

"No! Oh, my Lord! NO!"

"Okay. Is he nice but maybe...unattractive?" her daughter guessed.

"Again, no. In fact, it's just the opposite. He's gorgeous."

"So let me get this straight. He's single, good looking, really nice, you like him, but you shouldn't like him."

"Yes."

Desiree was long past tired of playing this game.

"Momz? Call me back when you return to the reality zone, okay?"

She was on the verge of ending the call when her mother said, "He's younger than me."

"What? What do you mean, 'younger than me'?" Desiree asked, suddenly interested again. She'd been so caught off guard she wasn't sure she heard correctly.

"The EMT I met with today. The one who asked me to go bike riding with him. Which, come to think of it, may not have been a date because we actually talked about a first date, and that would mean..."

"MOM!" Desiree nearly hollered.

"I know, I know. I'm rambling and I'm sorry," Renee told her daughter. "I'm just so confused by the whole thing."

"Mom? If you want me to keep listening, you need to focus and start making sense. So let's go back to when you contacted this EMT guy and start from there. Okay?"

"It's Eric," her mom said.

"Who? Who's Eric?" a frustrated Desiree wanted to know.

Renee knew she wasn't making sense, so she did her best to set aside the emotional aspects of this meeting and tried to faithfully recount the entire affair, a choice of words that made her laugh.

Ten minutes and a lot of questions later, Desiree said she finally thought she understood.

"So are you telling me you like this guy, Momz?" was her question just before the end of the call.

"No. Of course not. I mean, yes. I do like him, I just don't...like him. Or at least I don't think I do."

"Bye, Mom!" she heard her very exasperated daughter say before the line went dead.