Girlfriend with Testing Device Ch. 10

Author's Note: Okay, let's get back into this for reals this time.

Warning: The following chapter is rated a sexy R and contains boobs, tits, forbidden fruit, lusty stares, venus envy, handsome ladies, sexy dudes, cheerleaders, stripping, job swaps, crossdressing, makeup, motivational speeches, body swaps, more boobs, jealous friends, amateur pole dancing, skimpy clothes, clothing swaps, dick slips, height swaps, girls kissing girls, sexual orientation swaps, boys not kissing girls, tiny skirts, rolemodel swaps, big boobs, bad bosses, and a two lovers alone against the ever-rising odds.

Girlfriend with Testing Device

- A Smutty Fanfiction, of Sorts -

= Part 10 - The breast of all worlds. =

By Razmagurk

A few more ill-advised drinks later, and I was staring in awe of the girl on stage.

It wasn't that she was hot. I mean, she totally was, but that wasn't why I was staring. No, I was jealous.

Maybe it was just the booze, but there was just something about her that really resonated with me. She was beautiful, but it was a beauty that extended beyond the way she was shaking her ass or the generous curves of her breasts. I mean, realistically, her breasts weren't even all that great. It was so weird to think about, but right now I had bigger tits than her. No, it was something more than that, a wholistic femininity. She had a feminine confidence and a happiness about her that just made her seem to sparkle and shine in my eyes.

It probably didn't hurt that she was really playing up this whole cute girl next door vibe that made her seem so friendly and approachable. I don't know how much of it was an act, but I loved it. I was just completely enraptured by her casual confidence and grace as she flirted with her audience.

I sighed. I wanted to be her so bad.

Granted, she could probably have gone a little heavier on the makeup, but I think it had been a calculated risk on her part. People often disagree with me, but I was of the opinion it's always better to have too much makeup on then not enough. I mean, it would be easy to see why she would think she wouldn't need very much. Her face was very classically cute. She had these small delicate features and these big expressive blue eyes. What little she was wearing she wore perfectly, but, well, you should never skimp on eyeliner.

I reached up to touch my cheek and frowned. I'd always had such an ugly, manish face. Okay, maybe that's a little harsh - I was thoroughly middle of the road - but it had always felt so ugly and manish to me. I guess that's one of the reasons I had always loved makeup so much. Even when I was little I was always in awe at what my mother could do with all those pretty paints on her palette. With a little contouring and the right mascara I could almost pass as pretty... but even then I still had nothing on girls like this.

I looked down at my almost empty cup and frowned. Okay, that was my last one. For real this time. I can get a little emotional when I drink. It's why I don't drink, actually, most of the time. I like to think I'm a very proper person; very composed. There's layers to my personality that I don't really like revealing to anyone. I think Ellen's the only person who's ever really seen every side of me, seen me at my worst, with all my neurosis bared. I mean, sure, I've dated some other girls in the past, other lesbians, mostly, but the fact that I was biologically male really put them off, even if, deep down, I'd always been just as much of a girl as they were. Ellen though... Ellen gets me. She understands and appreciates me for me, weird neurosis and all. God, I love that woman.

I looked over at her and smiled. She was staring slack-jawed and hungry as the girl on stage did a pirouette. I could practically see the drool forming in her mouth. She was so beautiful.

I shifted my legs and rubbed my thighs together. Mmf. I was getting horny again too. I started to roll my eyes down along the hills and valleys of my wonderful girlfriend's exposed chest but before they could sink too low my attention was drawn instead to the stiffening nipples of my own feminine peaks.

I grinned. I had boobs. I couldn't help but smile as I looked down at them. I had boobs. Everywhere I looked the lower edge of my vision was framed by this wonderful jutting shelf of cleavage. I glanced around to make sure no one was looking and then bounced them around in my hands a little. It was a little childish, sure, but I couldn't help myself. I had booooobs. I couldn't stop smiling.

In my mind boobs were like these tantalizing forbidden fruits - these ones, for example, were probably mellons - it was like, they shared this dual role as objects of both forbidden lust and forbidden jealousy. Like most gynophiles I'd always found them to be one of the sexiest parts of a woman's body, but at the same time whenever I saw them I was reminded that they were something I could never have for myself. When I was a confused teenager and a girl walked by in a tight little shirt with her breasts bouncing I didn't know which I wanted more - to have her, or to be her. Uhg, and it just got worse the sexier they were.

Hmmm... Sexy. Now that was a loaded word. Girls could be so many things. They could be so cute, so flirty, so fun. Girls could come in all kinds of wonderful shapes and sizes, and could project a thousand different attitudes and still be so perfectly undeniably feminine, but it was the sexy ones that I'd always admired the most. Maybe it was a little misogynistic of me, a little anti-feminine, but I just had it wrapped in my head that that was the kind of girl I wanted to be. Sexy. Hot. I wanted to make men drool. Not for their sake, for but for my own. Like, it was as if their lust was somehow validation of my femininity. It was dumb, I know, but it's just something I'd always felt, that's how I wanted to be.

The girl on stage took her shirt off. She let her forbidden fruits bounce as she twirled the shirt like a lasso above her head. I sighed at the sight of her taut stomach and elegant form.

...I wanted to be that.

I looked down at the device in my hands.

And now I could. No more long masculine hair, no more ugly man-face, no more muscle-bound body. I could wear pretty clothes, I could giggle in public, I could flash all the boys my winsome feminine smile. I could finally be myself.

But then she couldn't, could she?

I sighed again and looked back down at my mug. I don't know why I was even debating it. It would be wrong to make this girl's life worse just to better my own. Even if she didn't know, even if she didn't realize, I would. I felt sick to my stomach for even realistically considering it.

I looked over at Elizabeth's breasts. The tapping of her foot was sending them jiggling in a rhythmic bounce. Maybe one swap wouldn't be so bad? After all wasn't that what we were here for? To help bring Elizabeth one step closer to her ideal body? Who would blame me for taking that same step? But... no... I would blame me. And where would I draw the line, huh?

I frowned and took a final swig of my beer. I looked back at the girl on stage and let out another sigh. So close, yet so far away.

"You know what?" said Elizabeth, oblivious to my moping. She had been getting increasingly impatient with the cavalcade of girls that had been coming out on stage. So far none had presented any decent options. "I think I'm better than her!" She stomped her foot down, which set her jiggling boobs into one last bounce before they finally settled.

"Huh?" Ellen turned, only half listening. "Better than who now?".

"I mean, look at me!" she ran a hand along her body in what could drunkenly pass as a seductive gesture. "Not only am I way hotter than her, but now I've got bigger boobs than her too." She groped her chest for emphasis.

"Wait, hold on." I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'now?'"

"In fact," Elizabeth continued, ignoring me," I'm probably hotter now than half our dancers put together!" She stood up. "I'm going to do it! I'm going to get up there and I'm going to do it! I'm going to show everyone what I'm made of!"

"What?" said Ellen "I thought you said you couldn't be a stripper cause your boobs weren't big enough. What brought this on all of a sudden?"

Elizabeth looked down at her tits and smiled. "You know what? I'm feeling pretty confident for some reason." She laughed. "I guess all that talking about body positivity and stuff made me realize just how great these things are." She gave her boobs a loving squeeze. "So now I'm finally going to do it!"

"Wait," I furrowed, "What are you going to do? You're not going to swap anyone are you?" I strengthened my grip on the device.

"No, no," She shook her head. "Well... maybe... I'm going to finally get onstage and prove to the world that I have what it takes to be a stripper. Right now."

"Now?" Ellen laughed. "You're doing this now?"

"What's wrong with now? I've waited my whole life for the perfect chance, and there's no time like the present!"

"Wait, hold on," I said, "you've wanted to be a sripper your whole life?"

"It's like, her dream job." Ellen said, leaning into me conspiratorially, "Ever since Bobby Flanagan offered her a dollar to take her shirt off in grade school, it's all she's wanted to do with her life."

"Hey, that's not true!"

"Isn't it though?"

"I mean," she faltered, "okay, it totally is." She laughed. "But also, shut up, I have other ambitions too. I'm a french lit major!"

"You're lit alright." I giggled.

"Oh please," Ellen rolled her eyes "you only went into that for all the cute french boys! And where does that even get you in life?"

"I did not!" Elizabeth stomped a foot. "And as a sexy librarian Elles, where else? Look, I'm not getting into this again."

Ellen laughed.

"The important thing," Elizabeth continued, "is that this is finally my time to shine! I can actually get up there and make my dream come true!"

Her eyes locked with the device in my hand.

"I just..." she frowned. "I guess the easiest way to do it would be to just swap jobs with her, right?"

Slowly, she reached out one hand for the device, then stopped and looked up at Ellen.

Ellen sighed and gave a begrudging nod. Cautiously, reverently, I passed the device to Elizabeth. She smiled as she adjusted the various dials on the back. She set the device in the center of the table and Ellen and I put our hands on it.

"Okay." she took a deep breath. "Here I go..."

Ellen and I held our breath, curious as to what exactly was going to happen.

"I..." Elizabeth hesitated. "Um..."

Ellen and I exchanged a look.

Elizabeth tapped her foot nervously, circling her finger over the button. Her eyes were glued to the girl on stage.

"I- I can't do it." she cried, pulling back her hand.

"What?" asked Ellen. "Why not?"

"I'm just..." she sighed angrily. "It's all happening so fast. I'm... embarrassed."

"You?" Ellen raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Embarrassed? Since when."

"Shut up!" Said Elizabeth, blushing. "I mean, I want to do it, but I just... I don't know if I have what it takes to go up in front of the whole world like that."

"Elizabeth, how is this any different from you standing up on that table and taking your top off at that party last month?"

"Are you kidding? I was like, two drinks further down the hole at least!"

"Okay, okay, fine." Ellen sighed. "I have a plan."

"More drinks?" Said elizabeth, hopefully.

"No. You've had more than enough, I'd say."

Elizabeth pouted then stuck out her tongue.

"Okay, let's try this." Ellen took the device and adjusted the dials around a bit. "I'm going to swap out your like, shame or whatever with that girl up there. She seems to be doing fine, right? That way you won't get all embarrassed about it or anything."

"Wait, hold on," said Elizabeth. "You want to swap my sense of shame? I don't know if you've been paying attention Ellen, but I don't have much of that as is. Wouldn't making me even more shameless just lead to all kinds of terrible ideas?

"Oh my god." Ellen froze in horror. "You're absolutely right. I didn't even consider that."

"Besides," she continued "I kind of don't like the idea of messing around with my head. It's like... Roxxxy up there has some issues. Who's to say I won't end up all evil and stuff?"

"Elizabeth," Ellen laughed. "This isn't a saturday morning cartoon, you're not going to turn into some cackling villain just because of some tragic accident with the device."

"Oh man, could you imagine me as a villain though? I'd be sexy as hell!" Elizabeth laughed. "Still," she said, "I'd rather not risk it."

"You know what, Elizabeth? I'm... I'm impressed."

"Huh?"

"Normally you're all for stupid ideas like that when your drunk. This shows remarkable restraint for you."

"Hey!" Elizabeth cried in mock anger. The two of them laughed.

"For reals though, why are you afraid to do this? You said it yourself than you're better than her, right? Girl, why don't you get your cute butt on up there?"

"I guess it's just..." She let out a long sigh. She seemed suddenly very sober as she paused to collect her words. "I can tell you anything, right Elles?"

"Of course!"

"And Evan... you're a really good guy, so I feel I can trust you with this too."

"Aww." I smiled "Thank you Elizabeth."

"The truth, Elles, is that, yes I am embarrassed. I'm often embarrassed. I mean, sure, maybe not, you know, in the moment, but it's like you said, I make a lot of really stupid decisions. And that's nothing new," she circled her finger around the rim of her mug, "I've always made terrible decisions."

"I just," she sighed "I have all these things that I want to do, and I know that they're terrible stupid things to want to do, but I do want them, Elles, and I'm embarrassed that I want them but it doesn't change the fact that I do. Does that make sense? And it's not just, like, all the stupid terrible guys I've slept with either, its my career, my relationships, my body... I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and I seriously question what the hell I'm doing with my life. I mean, I've spent my whole life dreaming of being a stripper. That's not normal!"

"I just..." her voice quavered. "I put these things on a pedestal to try to make myself feel okay about it, I try to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me, but deep down it's like... I'm embarrassed of who I am, and of where I'm probably going to end up. And that scares me sometimes. I'm always so afraid to really let loose because I don't know what horrible stupid embarrassing thing I'm going to do next."

"You cut loose all the time!"

"Yeah, Elles, when I'm drunk! But, look at her! Look!" she gestured up at the stage. "How many drinks did she need to have the courage to get out there tonight? None! And look at me." she slumped in her seat "I've had more than I should and I still can't do it." She frowned "I want to go up there, Elles, I want to dance! I want to be like her, so so badly! But then I just keep thinking... maybe this is just another stupid decision I'm going to regret. Maybe I need to get my mind out of the gutter and just be a normal person for once in my goddamn life."

She looked up at Ellen.

"You... you've always been there for me Elles. Even when I do stupid things. Especially when I do stupid things. Even when I hurt you. You're there for me afterwards... and you make me think that, sure, maybe I shouldn't be doing these things, but that i'm not some kind of freak or monster for wanting them. You make me feel like its okay for me to be me..." she sniffled, "but... but that just makes it so that I don't want to disappoint you. So sometimes I see something I want and I can't help myself and I'm embarrassed because whatever kind of fuck-up I am... well, I just don't want you to ever think less of me."

"Elizabeth" Ellen smiled softly. "I had no idea..."

"I... It's not something I think about very often. It's not something I dwell on. I don't like feeling this way. So I try to ignore these feelings and I try to drown them out with sex and booze and more stupid decisions and I just... well, I'm just glad I have you. You keep me grounded Elles, I don't know where I'd be without you."

There was a moment of silence as Elizabeth's words soaked through our beer-addled brains.

"Elizabeth. Listen to me. " Said Ellen, firmly. "Sure, you do some dumb mistakes. A lot of dumb mistakes. But that's only because you have the courage to actually go after the things you want and to get into trouble for it in the first place. Most people... most people just sit on their ass and wish for something, and never do anything about it. But not you. You're always going after the things you want, Elizabeth, even when the things you want are... yeah, kinda stupid, because that's who you are!"

Elizabeth laughed.

"And that's nothing to be embarrassed about! You have all these big dumb dreams and bless your heart you keep going for them. No one can fault you for that! Elizabeth, I wish I had half the courage you do. You're doing things with your life because you want to do them, not because you feel obligated or even because it's the logical thing to do. And... and I really admire that. Look. You say I help keep you grounded? Well you help keep me in the air. So I never want to hear from you that you're not going to do something that you want to do because you're worried about about disappointing me okay? The only way you could disappoint me is if you had an opportunity to follow up on one of your big stupid dreams and you didn't. Because that's not you, Elizabeth. That's not the girl I know."

"Now Look." She pointed to the stage "This right here? You said it yourself, this is your chance! Look at you! Your sexy, your fun, and your a strong confident woman! You have nothing to be ashamed of! The only thing you should worry about being embarrassed by here is missing your opportunity! You've wanted this your whole life. And sure, it may be stupid, sure it may be a little embarrassing to get up in front of all those guys, but there's nothing embarrassing about going out there and making your dreams come true. This club would be lucky to have you as a dancer, and if that's something you want, Elizabeth, if that's one of your big stupid dreams, then go take it! I'm behind you one hundred percent!

"Elles!" Elizabeth practically leapt onto Ellen to catch her in an embrace, which Ellen promptly returned. Tears were heavy upon both their cheeks.

I smiled as the two hugged it out.

"You're right, Elles." said Elizabeth, wiping the tears away. "You're right. I'm too awesome to let this opportunity pass. This is something I've wanted for a long time." she laughed. "And I can do it!"

And with that she leaned in and gave Ellen a deep, passionate kiss.

I coughed in indignation.

"Thank you." She said to Ellen, ignoring me entirely as she pulled back to stare deeply into Ellen's beautiful hazel eyes. "Wish me luck." Both of their eyes were sparkling.

"G-good luck?"

Elizabeth stood back up, took a few deep breaths to steady herself, then strode purposefully over to the doors that led to the club's backrooms. Standing there a moment, she turned and gave us one last look, a smile forming on her lips, then disappeared backstage.

Ellen and I turned and looked at each other in stunned silence.

"Wait, I said, "what just happened?"

"I..." Ellen ran a finger along her lips. "I guess I just gave her some confidence? Maybe this whole time that was all she ever needed?"

"I just hope this isn't all some terrible mistake." I laughed.