Girlfriend with Testing Device Ch. 25

"Baby," he began, "what the other me said -- felt -- about choking under his own masculinity? I... I understand. I empathize. What I'm feeling right now? It's not disgust the way he had felt it, but I don't think I can be comfortable like this. I don't want to be trapped in a girl's body for the rest of my life.

"Evan, I'm sorry, we never got a chance to change you back."

"No, don't apologize. The time it would have taken to fix me? Who knows how many others you got a chance to fix because of it. Honestly, I'm thinking it may be for the best. The more I think about it the more I keep coming around to the same conclusion. The other me was right. I may not want to be a girl, but I think I want to want to."

"Huh?"

"I keep thinking back to everything that happened. Do you remember when I was on stage dancing? In that moment I think I felt more alive than I ever had before. And yes, I know, I had stolen that happiness from someone else, but that doesn't change how fun it was."

"Fun?"

"I know, I know. It's selfish, but looking back at it all, all that stuff? Makeup and boys and flirting and being hot? Honestly, baby, I had way more fun doing that sort of thing than I ever did as my old boring self."

"You're not boring!" I slapped a hand down on the table. "Not to me."

"Okay, maybe not boring, but that feeling I had when my makeup was just, perfectly on point? Or when I saw a new sale? That feeling of being the center of attention in a room full of hungry men? Those were good feelings. Sure, who I am now is a little put off by it all, but that doesn't mean they felt any less good. And you know what? I'm not afraid to say it. I enjoyed being a girl. Inside, where it counted. I enjoyed being soft and vulnerable and strong all at the same time, and I enjoyed it way more than I ever did actually being a guy. Artificial or not, I was more passionate about those things than anything in my own life. I even enjoyed dressing like a total slut," he laughed, "especially for you."

I blushed as I looked down at the tight white shirt that did nothing to conceal the jiggling mounds beneath, his short little tartan skirt that only barely hid the swell of his ass, or the heels so high I was amazed he could even stand. I bit my lip as my dick stirred. Yeah, okay, my sex drive certainly liked him dressing like a total slut too.

"Besides." he sighed. "I don't want to be a stranger in my own life. If the world is going to see and remember me as being a certain way," he gestured down at his body. "I want to match up to that. Roll me forward to the day of the party. Make me a hot girl again. It's silly of me, isn't it? But that's the me I want to be."

"Evan..." I ran up and took him in my arms.

"I'm sorry, baby, this is selfish of me, isn't it?"

"No." I shook my head. "Just, surprising. I think after all you've been through, you deserve to have some agency over your body for a change."

"I'll still be me. Just... through a different lens."

"I know." I squeezed him tighter. "It took me a long time to figure that out. Back when we were on our way to the party, I had been so concerned with fixing you that I think I had lost sight of that. I know better now."

"Thank you, baby." he leaned forward and kissed me. We lingered long and slow. God, I'd missed the way he kissed.

I pulled away as he clutched once more on the tentacle. I wasn't sure if I could be touching him when it happened.

Zzzzttttt

"Oh wow." He held a hand up to steady himself, then looked down at his body. "That is so weird."

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"I am. Thank you, baby. It's perfect." he laughed. "I'm already excited for all the shopping we'll have to do to find stuff that'll fit you." He paused for a moment then looked down at his body, running a hand along his hip experimentally. "I still can't believe I've had a girl's body this whole time. It's so ironic, knowing it's the body I'd wanted and that I just can't se it."

I looked over at the device. Was I really considering this?

"Take my awareness." I said.

"What?"

"Take my awareness of how you look."

"I... what? I couldn't."

"No, listen. Slut's body is biphilic - like, annoyingly so - but I'm... I prefer guys. If you want to stay this way, I want to keep seeing you as a guy. Most importantly though, I want you to be happy, Evan. I've made so many stupid changes to you. I want you to be well and truly happy in the body you end up with." I grabbed the device off the table and held it out for him to put his hand on. "Let me do this for you."

Zzzzttttt

He couldn't stop grinning as he took stock of what he now saw as his bombshell female form. He ran a hand along his midrif and then up his body, stopping just short of clutching at his jiggling peaks.

Even knowing what was happening, it was uncanny. I hadn't taken my eyes off him for an instant and his body hadn't change at all, yet suddenly I went from recognizing his body as female to it being unmistakably male.

I slid my gaze across him, cataloguing his every component. I knew, intellectually, that these were all very feminine parts, and yet my brain just couldn't look at them and not think 'hot guy'. Muscles that had been lithe, tight and feminine now seemed big, imposing, and masculine. It felt like the reference file in my brain was pointing to the wrong place. It was so bad I was starting to second guess myself. Had I swapped the wrong thing? Had I somehow turned him into a guy?

He was still wearing the skirt, of course, and the skin-tight t-shirt that showed off every inch of him and his quivering hard pecs. Still, it looked surprisingly good on him. I could get used to dating a boy dressed like that. I guess I'd have to. The alternative was swapping our wardrobe back, and that would leave him without an outlet for his tastes in fashion and me with way too many slutty clothes.

"I hope you're happy like this, Evan."

"Me too, baby, me too."

We hugged again. I could feel the raw fire flowing through my body as my tits pressed against his bulging chest. Evan's body wasn't just masculine, it was stupidly hot.

"Okay, look." you said, "this is all very sweet, but I'm not running a service here or anything. If you guys keep tampering with stuff last minute, I'm going to have to start charging you, but look, while you're putting everything right, how about I help out with that whole relationship thing? The way it stands now, no one is going to remember you two ever being together."

"Wait, you can do that?

I thought back to all those photographs in my apartment that had once contained Evan and I, smiling and happy together. All those little moments that the world had forgotten. Sure, I didn't need them back. As long as Evan and I both remembered them, that's what counted. But it would be nice.

"I'm a professional." you smiled. "I'll swap your relationship back right up until the point Elizabeth made her swap. Everyone will think you guys took a break or something for the past week, then got back together."

"Frank that's..." I couldn't finish the sentence. Emotion welled up within me.

Elizabeth sunk back in her chair.

"Elizabeth, I'm sorry."

"It's... it's okay Evan. I understand." she shook her head and tried to smile even as tears rolled down her eyes. "If you can forgive me after all I've done to you, you deserve to be happy. I hate it. I hate it so much, but it's like you said, this is the right thing to do. Even if its all gone now. I'm just... I'm glad I got to have you."

Frank grabbed the device and pointed it at us.

"Wait," I said. "We need to be touching it or else we'll be unaware."

"What? Oh, no, I've turned that off, don't even worry about it."

"You can turn that off!?"

Zzzzttttt

"Like I said, I'm a professional."

I blinked. Nothing felt different. I panicked and scanned my brain to try to piece together if anything what was wrong. Evan and I had been together for years prior to Elizabeth stealing him with the device. Was that correct? Had it worked?

"Evan?" I looked over at him.

"It worked!" Evan held up his phone. His home screen was a picture of the two of us together, laughing at some amusement park. It had been one of our first dates. The ride we were about to get on had gotten stuck, stranding us alone at the apex of a drop for 20 minutes. We hadn't minded.

"As far as anyone should be concerned you two broke up a week ago, but are now back together. Are we all happy?"

"Absolutely!" I nodded. I couldn't stop grinning.

"Great, because there's still one story left to hear."

"No... no..." Elizabeth seemed to shrink down in her seat. "I can't. Please. I don't want to face the things I've done."

"It'll be okay." coaxed Evan. "Just remember that it's all in the past. Consider it a confession, a chance to reflect and learn from your mistakes. You've already come so far."

"I regret so much." she grasped at the tentacle, squeezing it so tight it bulged.

"Let's start at the beginning, shall we?"

Zzzztttt

"It was Saturday," she began. "I was at work. I'd been getting weird texts from Ellen all day..."

Elizabeth told her story. A tale of jealousy and corruption and power gone out of control.

I gritted my teeth. I had worried that hearing her story might in some small part sway me, that I might come to empathize with her or feel some sliver of forgiveness for her. I had been terrified that hearing her side of things might douse the still simmering shards of my anger. Hearing her speak though, hearing her recount how she ruined life after life for no reason beside her own petty vanity and vengeance, it made me realize how foolish those worries were. She was capricious and unthinking and she justified her every action with the flimsiest of excuses. Maybe it was because I knew all too well how close I had come to walking a similar path, but all I could feel was sick.

The sympathy was the worst part. She was right, we were friends once. We cared about each other. We had fun once, we were happy once. Then jealousy and malice had crept in. A part of me wondered if, if I had been a better friend for her, more cognizant and supportive of her, if I had realized her crush on me and addressed it, if I had known the pain she'd felt and tried to alleviate it... if maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way.

But I wasn't going to let that thinking hurt me. No, I wasn't going to let Elizabeth hurt me anymore. Not now and not ever again. Pain or not, what she did was inexcusable, and no matter how sympathetic she cast herself in the telling, no matter how genuine her change of heart. I would never allow myself to forgive her.

I looked down at my empty mug. The sky outside had gone cold and dark by the time Elizabeth had finished. Emma was still asleep.

"Thank you, Elizabeth." said Evan, holding her hand "I'm sorry, I know that was hard for you."

She had, at least, been telling the truth about swapping back whatever she could, though it was too little too late. Drunk on power, she had gone on a mad swapping spree that first night, and by the time she had come to regret what she'd done the madness had already spiraled out of control. It didn't matter to me though. I didn't care if her change of heart was real or not. There was no excusing what she had done.

"Now what?" She asked, quietly, half into her cup. She had no tears left to cry.

"Well see, that's a good question." you sighed, scratching behind your ear.

Her eyes shook as she looked at you, finally seeming to realize just how much trouble she was in.

"You've really gone above and beyond, you know that? We're going to have to bring a whole team in to fix what you've done," you sighed. "But, well, I'm not really authorized to handle that on my own." Your machine mewled as you poked at it. "I'll pass this up to my superiors and see what they want done. In the meantime, officially, this is the part where I say thank you to the client, erase their memories and awareness, and send them on their way, so I guess that's our next step. Thank you for your reports, ladies. There's a lot of really good data in here and we're going to be pouring over this for months."

"Wait, hold on," I cried. "After all this, you're just going to erase our memories?"

Elizabeth actually had the nerve to fucking smile.

"It's standard procedure, Ellen. It's in the contract. Hell, I even told you about it last time we met. It's nothing you need to worry about."

"You can't!"

"Ellen, come on, you should consider yourself lucky that you got this long. I've already done you a huge favor giving you a chance to fix things first."

"I refuse." I clenched a fist.

"Listen, I understand it's an uncomfortable proposition, but - "

"No," I growled, "you don't understand. If you erase our memories - if all this comes across as nothing more than a bad dream - it'll be as though none of this ever happened, right? I'll forget my hatred and Elizabeth and I will go back to being friends. She'll never pay for what she's done. I can't allow that. I won't forgive her."

"She's right," said Evan, "if you erase our memories... how are we supposed to learn from this? All of the good Elizabeth has learned, all the sorrow and regret, all gone. It'll be as though none of this had ever happened."

You looked at us surprised.

"Look, I understand that you're upset, but you two more than anyone should know that your memories don't make you who you are. Believe me when I tell you that I have a lot of experience with this. Evan, were you any less dedicated or devoted just because you remembered a different relationship? Ellen, I know you don't like to think of how similar you and Slut were, but you were stuck leading a completely different life and even that didn't change the heart of you. People are more than just their memories.

"My anger isn't." I swallowed. "My hatred isn't. I don't want to hate and not know that I am justified in that hatred. I don't want forgiveness by omission."

"Fine," you sighed. "this is about justice? I thought you were better than that. You think she needs to be punished?" You thrust the device in my direction. "What would you do to her?"

I looked down at it, then over at her, or rather what was left of her. Just this morning she had seemed so imposing, so unassailable, but now this quivering thing before me was a pale reflection of her former self. My hands shook as I took the device.

What could I even do to her? My blood started pumping hot. If this was my one and only chance to dish some modicum of justice onto this... this monster... what did she deserve after all she'd done?

"Baby..." Evan put his hand over mine. "Please. Isn't your hatred punishment enough?"

"How?" I turned to him. "How can you say that, Evan? After all she's done! How can you forgive her?"

"Because after all she's done is when she needs it the most. Because she could have turned the tables on you time and time again since you got the device back and she hasn't. There's good in her. I could see it then, and I can see it now. She just needs someone to bring it out."

"Evan," I quavered "I can't. You're the most important thing in the world to me and she took you from me. I can't ever forgive her for that."

"I know." He put his other hand on mine. "You don't have to forgive her. But you can show her mercy. You can give her a chance to be better."

"She doesn't deserve it."

"Not yet." he shook his head. "But one day, she might."

The device was trembling in my hands as I looked from it to Elizabeth.

The blood pumping in my ears was deafening.

I lowered the device.

"Elles... thank you. I know nothing I could do will ever make up for what I've done, but I'm going to try. I promise. I'll be the sort of person that deserves to be your friend. I'll-"

"You shut the fuck up." I growled. "You're not even worth punishing. I hate you, Elizabeth. I hate you, and after all you've done, I should live the rest of my life stoking that hate, keeping the flames of this anger burning forever in the very depths of my soul. But you know what? You're not fucking worth it. I'm done with you. Do you hear me? I don't care what you do or where you go or what kind of bullshit redemption arc you think you're playing out. I am excising you from my heart and from my life. I don't ever want to see you again, do you hear me? You are done hurting me."

I put the device down on the table and turned to Evan. "There, are you happy?"

"Yes." He pulled me in for a hug. "and I think you will be too in the long run."

There was a hush that fell over the cafe as I sat back down, shaking.

Elizabeth looked like I'd taken what few fragments of her well-being she had managed to piece back together and thrown them right back on the floor. I didn't care.

"Alright." you said, breaking the silence. "I think that's my cue. We thank you all once again for your participation in our testing program and for your detailed reports. I'm going to put you to sleep and when you wake up, this whole week will seem like a blur."

"Wait-!"

You flipped a switch on your machine. The world lurched.

You and I were sitting at a different table. I had a fresh cup of coffee in front of me. I looked around in confusion. Evan and Elizabeth were hunched over at a neighboring table, sleeping alongside Emma.

"Well, okay," you leaned back in your seat grinning, "when they wake up, this will all be a blur. You, however - you I wanted to talk to a little bit more."

"What?"

"Well, with everything that was going on last time, you were in such a rush, we never really got to talk very much about the prototype. Plus, you haven't told me what happened. You won, obviously," you took a sip of your coffee and purred. "but I want all the tasty little details."

So I told you everything. From the moment I left to now. It was a story of chaos and heartbreak and triumph.

"You know what? I'm proud of you, Ellen. You stood up for what you believed in and you held firm where a lot of people would buckle. You've grown a lot as a person over the past week. Not everyone would be able to succeed the way you did, and trust me, not everyone prioritizes the wellbeing of others over their own like that when it comes time to swap back, either. "

"Thanks..." I said, looking down at Slut's body. "but at what cost? I had the perfect chance to change back and I let it go. Now I'm going to be stuck with this stupid oversexed body for the rest of my life."

"Hey," you shrugged, "life goes on. Honestly, after a few months you probably won't even notice. Who knows," you grinned and glanced down at my tits. "you might come to like it."

"I suppose your right." I sighed. "It's not like I'll remember them ever being any different, will I?"

"Well. Yes." You turned off your machine. "But also no."

I gave you a confused look as I reached for my coffee.

"Listen, Ellen, I understand that you getting your memory erased isn't quite the ending you had hoped for. Do you remember last night, how you asked if there was any other way? "

I stopped mid-sip. My breath caught in my throat.

"I was looking into it, and, well, there are a few 'extended effects trial' options that I was thinking I could wiggle you into. Basically, you'd be responsible for keeping an eye on all the swaps you made and reporting any interesting and novel interactions or bugs. It's temporary though - the longest option would be about a few months"

"A few months!?" I didn't know if what I was feeling was elation or despair.

"Well, hold on, let me finish."

My heart dropped.

"I was looking into those options - and those options are on the table, yes - but then I stumbled across something that might be a little more up your alley."