Author's note: Even if it's the only slash-fic I've ever written, it's still slash-fic. Of course it's going to be ridiculous. Enjoy.

Rogue brushed the last of the metal fragments off the front of her skin-tight battle costume and flicked the OFF switch—the Danger Room powered down, and shut off anything dangerous that wasn't already broken. She'd made quite a mess of the place. Parts of broken robots rattled and vibrated on the floor, and some fires needed to be put out.

As she left the Danger Room, she unzipped the top of her costume from her neck to just above her cleavage, trying to cool down a little.

"Who'm Ah kiddin'?" she muttered in her husky Southern accent; despite the way her huge breasts moved up and down, she was barely panting. "Ah hardly even broke a sweat, and that was the best the Danger Room could give me. Ah still got more energy than Ah know what to do with."

She didn't have to elaborate on why. She knew better than anyone else that she couldn't touch anyone for more than two seconds without risking the other person's life. It was no wonder she had more pent-up sexual energy than she could possibly channel into the Danger Room.

"Ah need a real workout," she murmured fiercely, then lowered her forehead into her hand. She'd intended it as a joke, but it was even truer than she had wanted to admit—and more than a little depressing. It looked like another night of crying on her vibrator's shoulder.

As she walked through the halls of the X-Men Mansion, thinking of a hot bath and her Nubby G, a sudden gasp caught her attention. Rogue automatically ducked for cover into a shadowy alcove in the hall, then shook her head at herself. The alcove rested just a few feet from Scott and Jean's bedroom door. The gasp, and more like it, were coming from behind it.

"Gawd-dammit, can't they at least wait until the rest of us are outta hearin'?" Rogue muttered. "It's only four o'clock in th' afternoon."

Behind the door, Jean gave a cry of ecstasy and Scott grunted with what sounded like the longest male orgasm on record, as if to answer her question, "No, as a matter of fact, we cannot wait. She is lithe and shapely, he is the picture of the ideal masculine physique, and to wait would simply be a waste of precious, bedspring-destroying time."

Rogue rolled her eyes and slumped against the wall. The sex noises, which were starting over again, were right. She figured she really should be happy for them, even if it made sense to be jealous, too. Hell, if she had someone she could touch, she'd be doing the same damn thing herself. Over and over and over. Like Scott and Jean.

She could still hear the two of them going at it. Jean was breathing in urgent gasps and sighs, as though her hot, wet genitalia were being licked, all the way from the bottom of her pink slit to her clitoris, again and again, Scott's tongue teasing her, inside and out ...

Rogue caught herself reaching between her legs, already fondling her breast with her other hand—then shrugged, and let herself continue. Why let them have all the fun? If they were going to broadcast their fucking, then they could live with the consequences. And so could Rogue.

Now she could hear both Jean and Scott moaning and grunting, like he was fucking her from behind, squeezing one of her generous breasts while Jean played with her clit. Yeah, that was what they were doing, Rogue decided, sliding her gloved hand inside her suit to tease her nipple and rubbing her crotch through her skintight costume. Scott probably had a long, thick erection that he was thrusting in and out of Jean's wet, red lips, and Jean's nipples must be hard and sensitive now, just like Rogue's, and Jean must be wailing that she was gonna come, gonna come ...

Rogue ground her teeth together, desperately trying not to echo Jean's orgasmic scream as her self-induced climax made her entire body spasm with pleasure.

"Lordy, that was quick," she panted. "Ah must really need it." Leaning back against the wall, she could see her chest heaving up and down, her costume's front zipper plunging dangerously low. As big as they were—even bigger than Jean's—her breasts were firm and perky, defying gravity almost as much as her ability to fly.

"It don't make sense," she grumbled. "Ah got a world-class rack like this, but Ah can't even let anyone touch it. Ah mean, what's the point?"

She was so caught up in her subsiding orgasm and in admiring her own body that she barely noticed that the noises from inside Scott and Jean's room had settled down.

The bedroom door abruptly opened, and Scott came swaggering out in a pair of hastily-donned jeans. Rogue shrank back into her alcove, hoping that the sex-fogged eyes behind his red glasses wouldn't catch her eavesdropping on him and Jean. She needn't have worried; Scott's slightly shaky legs carried him down the hall without a single look back.

"Nice ass on that man," she whispered, then gave herself a mental slap. If she was going to say things like that, she needed to get her own nice ass into her room, where she could act on her thoughts in privacy. She wasn't done, after all, and Scott's ass would be a good place to pick up from where she'd left off. In her own little world, maybe she could have him all to herself.

"Yeah, if Jean don't read mah mind about it," she muttered. Well, Jean had no reason to suspect, besides the obvious fact that Scott was gorgeous. Still, Jean was sitting less than ten feet away with only one wall between them, and Rogue wouldn't mind a little more space than that.

She pushed off from the wall and walked out of the alcove, pretending nothing had happened. She would just walk down the hall like normal, go straight to her own room, tear her clothes off before the door was even closed completely, forget the hot bath and start –

"Rogue? Is that you?"

Rogue was torn out of her thoughts and thrown back into the real world, looking up with a jerk that she knew would give her away. Scott had left the door open and Jean was sitting up in bed, sheet pulled up barely over her nipples.

"Oh, um. Hi, Jean," Rogue managed weakly.

"Rogue, you look so ... flustered," Jean said, almost playfully. "Is something wrong?"

"Ah was ..." Rogue trailed off. "Ah, shit. You read mah mind, didn't you?"

Jean laughed. "I barely had to, my friend."

"Ah'm sorry, Jean, Ah really am. I don't mean to -"

"Come in, we can talk about it."

Confusion passed over Rogue's face. "Um, okay." She timidly stepped into Jean's room, half wondering how mad Jean would be, and half wondering how soon she could get back to her own room and –

"Close the door," Jean said gently.

Rogue dutifully shut the door behind herself, still numb with embarrassment for being found out.

"Have a seat." Jean put a hand on the edge of the bed, indicating where she wanted her teammate. Rogue uneasily sank down next to Jean, maybe a bit closer than she meant to.

"Ah'm sorry, Jean," Rogue tried again. "It's just that –"

Jean smiled warmly. "Rogue, you don't have to be sorry. I understand completely. Scott's a handsome guy, and –" She put a comforting hand on Rogue's shoulder. "Well, I can't really imagine what it must be like for you, but I know it can't be easy."

Rogue nodded, a bit sullenly, but not as much as she expected. She'd always been too ashamed to talk about how difficult it was to neglect her sexuality, and it felt good to know that someone really understood. Even if she still couldn't bang that person.

"But," Jean continued, "the idea of going your whole life without touching someone–" Jean's hand slipped from Rogue's shoulder, and suddenly cupped her breast through the material of her costume. Her tone went from gentle to mischievous: "-isn't necessarily correct." Her other hand dropped the sheet to her waist, and joined her first in squeezing Rogue's pillowy globes.

Rogue looked down in confusion, first at Jean's hands, then at Jean's exposed breasts, then at ... Jean's breasts again.

"There are ways," Jean smiled. "I just wasn't sure if you'd want me to help you with them until now, and I was afraid to ask."

Rogue sat in stunned silence for an instant. She had to fight off the urge to kiss Jean then and there—Gawd bless her—but found that fondling Jean's full, firm breasts was almost as good. Gawd bless her gloves, too.

"You see?" Jean asked teasingly. "We just have to be ... careful."

Something touched Rogue deep between her legs, right where she needed it. She gasped in pleasure, and saw Jean's smile deepen as she telekinetically stroked Rogue's inner self again. Nothing but Jean's mind was inside her, but oh Gawd, it felt good, having her G-spot gently rubbed while Jean squeezed her breasts, pinching her nipples through her suit. Then her clitoris felt it too, the teasing and tickling that she would have been giving it herself if not for Jean. She barely had time to bite her lip against the mounting pleasure before everything else was drowned out by an explosive orgasm.

Rogue fell back on the bed, breathing harder than she wanted to admit.

"Jesus H. Christ, Jean," she panted, "Ah wish you'da told me you could do that years ago."

Jean climbed on top of Rogue's body and grinned seductively. "I'll make up for lost time."

A high-pitched tearing sound reached Rogue's ears, and she felt the crotch of her costume split open to reveal her slick labia. She looked up at Jean, her expression asking the question that her mind didn't want to. "Jean?"

"Don't worry, Rogue. I told you there are ways." A drawer in the nightstand by the bed slid open, and a pair of latex gloves levitated out of it and onto Jean's long, slender hands. "I've wanted to do this with you for so long, I just couldn't let myself get caught unprepared when I got the chance."

Rogue gasped again as she felt Jean's fingers begin gently stroking her inflamed lips—just trailing over her pubic hair, then probing the entrance to her pleasure, then gently deeper between her labia, and deeper again, until Jean was feeling her way around inside Rogue's body, two fingers stroking her G-spot while the thumb traced wet circles around her engorged clit. Rogue's eyes squeezed shut as the waves of pleasure pouring through her body intensified yet again.

"The real thing is better, isn't it?" Jean asked playfully. "I would know."

Rogue sunk her teeth into her lip to keep from crying out in joy, but managed to nod.

"Well, it gets even better."

Rogue's tightly-shut eyes flew open as she felt Jean's fingers slide out of her. "What? Jean, Ah was almost there! What are you –"

"Ssshhh ..." Jean put one of her clean fingers to Rogue's lips. "I know what I'm doing."

As she spoke, Rogue felt a layer of warm lube and a sheer sheet of latex cover her already wet, begging vulva. Jean looked lustfully into her eyes, smiled at the understanding she saw there, and kissed her way down the front of Rogue's costume to where her pleasure waited behind the dental dam.

"Hold on tight, baby," Jean whispered, breathing in Rogue's delicious musk, and then kissed her wet, reddening lips just like she wanted to kiss her mouth.

"Oh my Gawd," Rogue whispered as Jean's lips and tongue moved over her dripping labia. Jean turned her eyes up at Rogue without stopping her attentions, caught her eye, and smiled through her kisses. "Oh, my Gawd," Rogue whispered again. Yes, Jean knew exactly what she was doing.

And then Jean's tongue was inside her, moving and twisting like a dancing snake and making Rogue shudder with pleasure. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she realized that Jean must have had practice at this, and lots of it. She put her hands on Jean's head, guiding her wherever she was needed, although Jean was never far from the perfect place.

Jean slid the dam up from Rogue's opening to make room for her gloved fingers, and focused her mouth on Rogue's erect clitoris, licking it, teasing around it with her tongue, gently sucking on it while Rogue went wild beneath her. Jean's gloved fingers touched every hot spot inside that Rogue had never known she had, while Jean's lips and tongue loved her clitoris until she couldn't take it anymore, and finally screamed out in orgasmic release. Jean looked up at Rogue's thrashing, bucking body, proudly admiring her work, still moving her fingers inside Rogue's convulsing vagina to tease out every last trace of pleasure.

Finally the orgasm ended, and Rogue lay gasping desperately for air. Jean grinned down at her, telekinetically lowering the costume's zipper and freeing her glorious breasts from the fabric's oppressive confines. "My God, Rogue," she purred. "You are something else." She changed her gloves, laid her hands over Rogue's undulating breasts, and squeezed with satisfaction.

"Oh, Jesus," Rogue whispered. "Jean, you don't know how much Ah needed this."

"Always happy to help a friend." Jean lifted the dental dam from Rogue's sweetly-aching crotch and placed it, cum side down, over Rogue's mouth. Making sure her insulated hands were between Rogue's picturesque breasts and her own, she leaned down and put her lips to Rogue's beautiful mouth. Rogue wrapped her arms around Jean's naked body, holding her as close as she could with Jean's hands between them while they kissed like long-lost lovers.

Finally, Rogue broke the kiss and pulled the dam away from her mouth. "Jean, Ah ..." She hesitated, but only for a moment. "Ah wanna do the same for you."

Delight danced in Jean's eyes. "Oh, God, I was hoping you would ask." The dental dam sailed into a small trash can a few feet from the bed, along with Jean's gloves, and a new one rose from the open drawer. "You've made me so hot," Jean whispered. "Oh, God, Rogue, yes please."

A hint of doubt touched Rogue's voice as she took off her costume's gloves and replaced them with latex gloves from the drawer. "Ah hope Ah do all right. You know Ah haven't had much chance to practice."

"Oh, honey, I know you'll do just fine." Jean lay back on the bed and spread her shapely legs while she telekinetically coated the dam with barely-necessary lube and laid it across her waiting vulva. "Now do me."

Rogue didn't need any more encouragement. She bent down to give Jean her first lick, then stopped and smiled, and laid her hands on Jean's chest first. "No need to rush, is there?" she asked teasingly. Jean looked like she might disagree, but she only moaned as Rogue massaged her breasts, licking her fingers and pinching Jean's hardening nipples.

"Ooh, you like that, don't you?" One hand left Jean's chest and slipped underneath the dental dam. Jean's lips tensed as Rogue's fingers first touched them, then relaxed as she gently stroked them and slipped inside.

"God, Rogue," Jean whispered between sighs of pleasure. "I thought you said ... you didn't have any ... practice!"

"Just on mahself, anyway," Rogue answered with a smile. "Ah guess it's workin' for you, too?"

"Oh, God yes, it- ah!" Jean gave a sudden cry of pleasure as Rogue's fingers plunged between her labia and deep inside her. "Oh my God, Rogue, oh my God ..."

Rogue chuckled to herself and began stroking her fingers into and out of Jean's welcoming vagina while her other hand kept feeling Jean's breasts and teasing her nipples. She hadn't realized it could be so much fun to give pleasure as well as receive it.

"Lesson learned," she murmured, watching with wide eyes as Jean writhed beneath her. "What are ya doin' tomorrow, Jean?"

If Jean had heard, she wasn't able to answer, although Rogue could guess what she would have said. Jean pushed herself against Rogue's hands as hard as she could, whimpering with pleasure as Rogue indulged her as best she could. Finally, the sight of Jean's beautiful body and the feel of her inner self became too much for Rogue to hold back from any longer, and she pulled the dam back into place.

As Rogue's lips touched her through the dental dam, Jean let out a gasp of pleasure and expectation. Rogue glanced up at her, but Jean gently pushed her head down to where her mouth was needed most. Hardly one to disappoint, Rogue obliged her and got to work.

The sweet scent of Jean's sex juices filled Rogue's breath as she gently kissed Jean's red, swelling lips. "Oh, my God," Jean's voice whispered above her. "Please, Rogue. Please."

Rogue grinned, and pressed her mouth to Jean's hot center, kissing and licking in ways that she hadn't quite admitted she wanted to, until ten minutes before. Gentleness was left behind; Rogue could barely control herself as she gave in and indulged them both, thrusting her tongue as deep as it would go into Jean's inviting opening, thrashing her tongue the way Jean's entire body was thrashing, her fingers exploring Jean's insides and teasing her ass. The heady smell of lust drove her insane as Jean's legs wrapped around her, begging her to never stop, never stop, until Jean's gasps and cries of carnal pleasure became a single drawn-out scream of deliverance as one mind-shattering orgasm after another rocked her spasming body.

"Oh ... my ... fucking ... God," Jean moaned hoarsely when she could finally speak again. "Are you sure you've never done that before?"

Rogue shrugged, pushing her magnificent breasts together while she admired Jean's post-orgasmic vulva. "Makin' up for lost time. Ah hope Ah wasn't too rough with ya there. Ah wasn't quite as easygoin' as you were."

"Oh, no, you were fine. You were great." Jean grinned as her energy gradually returned. "I have a feeling you're going to be doing that a lot. Am I right?"

"You're damn right Ah am," Rogue smiled, peeling the dental dam from Jean's sweet skin and tossing it into the wastebasket along with her latex gloves. "Ah wouldn't miss it for –"

The door opened suddenly, and Scott walked in. A look of astonishment hit him in the face as Rogue turned around to look at him.

"Oh shit!" Rogue squeaked, struggling to get her breasts back into her costume in the midst of her panic. "Scott, Ah am so sorry –"

Jean giggled. "Rogue ..."

Rogue stopped, her right breast still in her hand, and looked at Jean. "Wait a damn minute." She turned to Scott, whose expression was still half-awestruck, but also half-amused. "You two planned this, didn't ya?" she accused.

"Yes, we did," Scott admitted, finally peeling his jaw off the floor. "Jean suggested it after she felt you listening in on us. I just wasn't expecting you to look so good like that. I always knew you were hot, but I never realized –"

"You set me up," Rogue said incredulously, her voice creeping with good humor and more than a little interest despite herself. As outraged as she was, she couldn't help noticing the front of Scott's pants. And if they'd planned this, then that meant that she was getting a chance to –

"Rogue thinks you have a nice ass," Jean informed Scott.

Scott smiled. "Well, the feeling is mutual, if you wouldn't mind passing that message along to her."

Jean quirked a smile at Rogue. "Scott says he wants to eat you and fuck you 'til you scream."

Scott almost looked embarrassed, but not quite. "That's not what I said."

"Last week?"

Scott shrugged. "Okay, you got me there."

"Then what are ya doin' over there, handsome?" Rogue snapped, finally able to speak again. She pulled the front of her costume open even wider, displaying her glorious assets for Scott's benefit as well as Jean's. "Get outta those pants and come get some."

Scott grinned devilishly as his jeans hit the floor, his erection springing up like a soldier's salute. "Damn, Rogue," he said admiringly, climbing next to her on the bed. "You're a goddess."

"Why, thank you, darlin'," she replied, thrusting her breasts out at him. "You ain't half bad yourself."

Scott lifted the sheet over Rogue's breasts as her heart pounded behind them, and he began slowly running his hands over her soft, sensitive flesh.

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