God of War: Love & Strength

"I do not wish to arouse your anger," Freya said carefully. "When I knew Thor, I taught him a mantra to use when making peace with enemies. There's no magic in it, just appropriate words." She frowned, nervous. "You seem like a calm and reasonable person. Are you a calm and reasonable person?"

Kratos grunted, recognizing the mantra. Thor had said it to him when they first spoke, a long time ago. That meeting had ended in bloodshed, as had their next meeting. He glanced towards a frozen lightning bolt visible on the horizon, remembering both events.

"Thor used those words when he first came to my home," the God of War told Freya. "You should know. Atreus' letter had details regarding Thor. Thor's spirit survived Odin's death blow. Thor is now a... 'Higher Being'."

"Yes, I know," Freya said, smiling. "I spoke with Thor and Snorri moments ago. We call such beings as Thor's new form 'Angels', among other things. Have you encountered them before?"

"Athena," Kratos said after a pause. "A Goddess of War and Wisdom from my home Realm. She was my ally for a time. Then she died. Then her spirit became my ally again, and then my enemy. I have not seen her in..." He trailed off, grimacing. It had been many years. Was Athena still alive? Was she still his enemy? Could lesser beings like him be sure of anything concerning 'Angels'?

"This Athena sounds like a possible 'Fallen Angel'," Freya said. "A very dangerous Higher Being. Does she have any power over you?"

"No," Kratos said, remembering the last time he had seen Athena. Had her spirit been a hallucination then? Or was it real? He did not know. It did not matter. "I told Athena when I last saw her that I am her Monster no longer."

"Good." Freya looked nervous for a moment, then sighed heavily. "Thor is definitely not our enemy. He and I spoke while you were inside your home and I was out here. Angels can freeze time for communication. Thor and I had a long conversation, very difficult at first, but..." She sighed again. "Thor said there is a Higher God above Angels, a God whom he serves now. I had heard rumors of this God before, but... Thor did not mention this 'Athena'."

"Do 'Fallen Angels' serve this Higher God?" Kratos asked.

"No. Angels have Free Will, as do nearly all beings their God created. Fallen Angels are in rebellion against the Higher God. There was one Fallen Angel in particular Thor mentioned who may be a future enemy for us. One of his names is 'Adversary'. I..." Freya paused, waving her hands. "There is a lot to explain, Kratos. It is not all immediately necessary, or easy for me. Can you please let me direct this conversation?"

Kratos paused, then grunted, looking around. "Is this 'Adversary' threatening us immediately?"

"No. Thor did not think so, anyway. Adversary has various other Fallen Angels allied with him, and there are others that are not his allies, but no, none of them are threatening us either, not immediately. There is another matter we need to talk about."

"Speak of it, please. I can ignore... distractions."

"Good." Freya released another heavy breath. "How do I put this? Thor said I needed to cement an alliance with you for the future. He showed me that last Jotnar Prophecy you saw, the 'path you never imagined'. Do you remember?"

"Yes." Kratos did not add that several things about that Prophecy's painting still bothered him. Why were so many mortals in the painting obviously respecting him, cheering for him? Why did so many of them look unfamiliar? What were the strange tablets and other objects so many of them held? A mortal named "Cory Barlog" was standing at his side, other mortals directing Kratos in his future. Mortal Instruments of Gods of Fate? Kratos wondered. Should I oppose their powers? Or are they Higher Beings I cannot defeat? Hmm. I will have to wait and see. Jotnar Prophecies have power I do not understand. I can only wait for them to develop. Could "CB" be Cory Bartog? Could he also be a boat captain like this author I am facing now? I do not know.

"The Higher God above the Angels gave the Jotnar their Prophecies," Freya continued. "Thor said you and I are part of several possible future Prophecies from this God, though he could not provide many details. I asked, but... there are more important matters. You... you still owe me blood payment, Kratos."

Kratos grimaced and grunted. "What? I thought I..." He had helped Freya regain her power and overthrow Odin, had he not? Was that not enough repayment for the death of her son Balder? He asked Freya this with a frown.

She shook her head, smiling. "You don't know much about blood payment, do you?"

"I do not."

"It was Tyr's law, originally. He created the law as a method of peace between various tribes of mortals in our Realm, and a way to maintain that peace. There was much war before Tyr created the law. My brother modified it somewhat, as did I, as did Odin and various other powers in this realm. The Jotnar originally suggested this law to Tyr. Can you guess which God suggested it to the Jotnar?"

Kratos raised both his eyebrows. "Hmph."

"Yes, you can. Good. Blood payment, as you know, is earned when a being in our Realm makes another being suffer. That being who suffers is called a victim. A victim can demand blood payment from any other being, including immortals like us. Blood payment may be unjust sometimes, any mortal or immortal authority may attempt to cancel it. However, ultimate cancellation of blood payment can be granted only by the judgement of the victims, and no being that earns blood payment can cancel the debt. No being is above blood payment, not even a Higher God."

Kratos did not understand everything she said, but it did not matter. He understood most of it, and that was enough for the moment. "Please continue."

"As you know, when you killed Thor's sons Magni and Modi, you earned blood payment from Thor."

"Yes. He told me that debt was repaid."

"Thor told me the same. Thor also said he told Atreus that he too was forgiven. Forgiveness from a victim can repay blood payment. Do you understand?"

After a moment of thought, Kratos did understand. "I still owe you blood payment from the death of Balder," he prompted Freya. "You never forgave me."

"And I may still never forgive you," Freya confirmed, releasing another breath. She was crying now, and paused to wipe her tears. "I still have not forgiven myself either, for what I did to him. I intended to protect my boy, Kratos, my darling boy, and it drove him mad, turned him against me. He could not feel harm, but he could not feel pleasure either, and..." She broke down in sobs.

Kratos almost enfolded her in his arms, then paused. No, he should not make such presumption. He must close his heart to others' feelings. He had killed Balder. Freya still blamed him for Balder's death. Yes, she blamed herself also, but he could not always be sure of her feelings. This was definitely such a time. Comforting Freya could be dangerous for both of them if he went too far. Freya had requested that Kratos be a counselor for her on occasion, he recalled, but he was unsure what to say here. His heart was beating with a tremor he had not felt in a long time. Not since...

"I am sorry, Kratos," Freya caught his attention, interrupting his thoughts. He looked back at her and saw that she had recovered, was still crying but not as heavily. It seemed a different manner of tears now, however. "Do you recall what the Norns told me when we met them? What that vision of me they created said to us?"

Kratos nodded. The Norns were the Fate Goddesses of these Realms, he remembered. He, Freya, and Mimir had visited them before Ragnarok, learned about Heimdall's threat to Atreus. During that visitation, Kratos, Mimir, and Freya had seen terrible visions created by the Norns.

"You will not touch him!" Freya quoted one such vision. An apparition with her face had spoken the words. "You will not harm him! Nobody harms my boy... but me!" She broke down sobbing again as she spoke the final words.

Again, Kratos almost moved to comfort Freya, but stopped himself. I should not, he ordered himself, summoning his strongest inner discipline. I must not. But why do I feel otherwise? What is wrong with me? I have not felt this way since...

"Aphrodite," the God of War frowned, seeing a sudden glowing scantily clad female apparition before his eyes. A Goddess of Love, a Goddess Kratos had opposed once but not slain, smiled at him, laughed, then disappeared. She is an Angel now, Kratos realized, recognizing Aphrodite's aura. Like Athena, or Thor. Did Aphrodite die in the destruction of Olympus? I was not certain. I felt this way when I saw her last, and before, and after. When I first got to know Fey, and my wife before Fey, Lysandra. I... he frowned, looking at Freya. He was bothered by his feelings regarding her, which he could not easily define. He decided to put them aside for now. It was not easy, but he had to do it, right? Close your heart to it.

Freya screamed as she remembered the Norns' apparition, and Kratos again nearly embraced her. He scooted away from Freya on the bench.

Aphrodite appeared again, frowning at Kratos and gaping. She coughed and gestured at another Angel who stood beside her, a young boy holding a bow and arrow. The boy Angel pointed at Kratos, speaking words Kratos could not hear. Aphrodite gaped again, and both Angels disappeared.

"What?" Freya asked, looking at where the Angels had stood an instant ago. She stared at the spot, frowning. "What is it?" She clutched her side, frowning again.

"Are you injured?" Kratos asked, looking at her.

"No," Freya replied, lowering her hand. "I do not think so. I felt like a strange arrow struck... never mind." She laughed, her tears fading now. "I was distracted. Maybe I needed such distraction. Hello again, Thor."

Kratos looked in the direction she indicated. He grimaced, seeing a glowing angelic Thor holding two raised thumbs in their direction. Before Kratos could speak to Thor, the large red-bearded Angel disappeared. "What is going on?" Kratos asked, though he already knew the answer. It had to be the fanfic author's design.

"I do not know," Freya said, grimacing. "I feel something strange. I am not sure I have ever felt this way. Kratos, I..." She touched his arm and directed his attention back to her. "You still owe me blood payment."

Kratos recalled their earlier discussion. "And you owe it to yourself, I think. Can you forgive yourself as a 'victim'? And can you forgive me?" It was not obvious from his tone which he considered more important.

"I... I do not know." Freya paused frequently as she continued. "Blood payment to yourself can be... difficult to forgive. You told me once that... it is difficult to seek forgiveness when you feel unworthy."

"Yes."

"I do not feel worthy of forgiveness. I do not seek to punish myself with blood payment, either, but... I..."

"Our actions have consequences," Kratos told her, recalling advice he had once given Atreus. "To be reminded of them is not punishment."

"Sometimes it feels that way," Freya corrected him. "You told me you were responsible for the deaths of your family, Kratos, do you remember? Your daughter, Calliope? Your brother, Deimos?"

"Yes," Kratos remembered. "Also my first wife, Lysandra. I murdered Lysandra and Calliope at the command of Ares, before I realized what I was doing. I later killed Ares in response, as you know. And then I killed many others. I had made a deal with a God that cost me my soul. At that God's command, at the command of Ares, I killed many who were deserving, and many who were not." This was a mantra of which he often reminded himself. "I killed my wife. I killed my daughter. I killed many others." He stared at his hands, clenching them, and then turned back to Freya and stared into her eyes. Kratos frowned, feeling a strange pain in his side. He grimaced at the distraction, but continued his recitation.

"For a long time, after Ares' death, I was still a slave to his power. I killed nearly all the Gods of Olympus, nearly all the Gods of my home Realm, and many mortals also. I did not kill my brother Deimos, Ares took him from me. That was why I first swore myself to Ares. I forgot over time what Ares had done to my brother, only after Ares was dead did I remember. Another God, a Death God named Thanatos, was keeping Deimos away from me. I found Deimos in the Realm of Thanatos, together we slew Thanatos, but Deimos was again taken from me then, slain by Thanatos. Perhaps if I had not sought Deimos in the Realm of Thanatos..."

He shook his head, then confessed further sins to Freya. "While seeking Deimos, I also killed my mother, Callisto, when she transformed into a Monster, lost control of herself, and attempted to kill me. I later learned that my father, the God Zeus, had transformed my mother into that Monster. I swore vengeance on Zeus for this. Zeus sought to kill me because of a prophecy that I would bring about the destruction of Olympus. I fulfilled that prophecy. I destroyed Olympus. I killed my father. I killed many others also." He frowned. Did Freya really need to know all this? No, perhaps not, but he still needed to tell her.

"I have killed many who were deserving," Kratos concluded his tally of sins. "And many who were not."

"Did you kill your wife?" Freya interrupted him. "Your second wife, I mean? Fey?"

"No," Kratos answered, grimacing at the question. "She was ill for a long time, or so she told me, but knowing me, and raising Atreus with me, she always said that was the best gift I ever gave her. And I gave her many gifts. Those were her final words." He released a deep grunt and looked directly at Freya. "I killed many who were undeserving before I knew Fey, but after I met her, I... I have tried not to kill anyone who is undeserving. I am not certain I have fulfilled that vow."

"You have," Freya told him, speaking quickly. "As far as I know, you have. If you are speaking of my son, he did deserve death, I know that. You had to kill him, to stop him from killing me. I know that. I still have trouble accepting it, but I know it." She grimaced, looking away from Kratos for a moment and then back at Kratos. "I am still not ready to forgive you."

"There is a part of you that is still angry," Kratos said, remembering her past words to him concerning her forgiveness of him. "A part that will always be angry."

"Yes," Freya nodded. She chuckled, shaking her head. "I know I can find strength in this anger, but can I also find..." She shook her head. "Odin also owed me blood payment for the death of Balder. He asked me to protect our son, you know. I researched the spell I cast on Balder at Odin's command."

"You told Mimir and I that Odin asked you to cast the same spell on him," Kratos recalled, "and you refused after you witnessed Balder's madness. Then you left Odin."

"Yes," affirmed Freya. "That drove us apart, that and many other things. The madness of our son, the madness of Odin, my mistakes..." She clenched her fists and looked again at Kratos. "So much pain. So much suffering. I have forgiven much of it, but... You understand the pain I feel, Kratos, the pain of destroying family. You have felt the same pain yourself. Have you ever attempted to harm yourself because of your pain?"

"Many times," Kratos answered without hesitation. "I have lost myself in despair many times, and in anger. I do not know how much of it was the power of Ares, the power I absorbed when I killed Ares. There was also the power of Thanatos, Zeus, and other Gods I absorbed when I killed them. And of course, my own need for vengeance."

"You do not seek vengeance now."

"I do not," Kratos confirmed. "There has been enough vengeance, enough suffering. Fey told me something. Our lives do not have to end in suffering, in vengeance. That is not what it is to be a God, or a mortal. We are the Gods we choose to be. Who I was is not who I will be in the future. I must be better." He repeated the last words. "I must be better."

Freya smiled at hearing his words. "I too must be better," she declared, smiling. "I need your help for that, God of Few Words." She used a nickname she had given Kratos before, one he recognized. "Can you be the God of Few Words and listen to me please?"

Kratos nodded.

"You motivated Thor to be a better God before Odin killed him, Thor told me that. I need similar help from you now, and others will also. The Higher God I mentioned earlier, the one who commands Angels like Thor, He hopes to raise His children with similar goals. Helping others overcome suffering, being better. There are other Gods and beings similar to Gods who share these goals. Tyr, Thrud, Sif, Hildsvini, Sigrun and the other Valkyries, Atreus, Angerboda, Jehuty, Kwan Yin, Allah, Christ, Krishna, Buddha, Lao Tze, Moses, SeaMan, Sun Wukong..." Freya rattled off several other names. Kratos recognized one name and asked her to repeat it.

"Gwan Yu?"

"Yes, Gwan Yu. I had never heard of this God before Thor mentioned him. You have?"

"Yes. Atreus has met this Gwan Yu, he mentioned the meeting in his letter." Kratos waved the distraction away. "Please continue."

Freya smiled, then did so. "Thor told me that he is now among these Gods with similar goals also. All these Gods who agree with Thor are joining together under the Higher God's direction. The Higher God is not commanding any being, mortal or immortal, to serve His design, only 'asking and hoping'. That was how Thor put it. Thor has agreed to work with the Higher God, as have many others. I too agreed. Thor asked me to ask you to also agree."

Kratos only had to hesitate for a moment. "I agree. If this Higher God is sincere in his design, I do not wish to oppose Him. I shall not be His slave, but I will work with Him."

Freya smiled. "I made the same decision. Thor told me Tyr has made the same decision, as have Mimir and Atreus. We will need to work with others to make similar decisions, including Sindri. Snorri called the process 'Reconciliation'. That word is unfamiliar, I know. It means... the process of finding ways for beings to become allies after disagreements. It took me a moment to understand it. Do you understand?"

Kratos pondered the word for a moment, then nodded. "I understand. This 'Reconciliation'... can it be demanded?"

"No," Freya said. "That ruins it. Demanding Reconciliation makes it impossible to achieve. Thor told me that. But if you agree to seek Reconciliation..." She smiled at Kratos' nod. "You understand. Good. Reconciliation, Thor told me, can also help redeem blood payment."

Kratos grunted to indicate he understood.

"I may never be able to forgive the debt of blood payment I bear from what happened to my boy," Freya resumed her soliloquy. "Or the one you bear me. You may not be able to forgive yourself for your own debts of blood payment either. But can we achieve Reconciliation?"

Kratos grunted, then grunted again. "I do not know."

"We need to try," Freya said, gasping words in a rush of emotion. "I think we also need to try something else. I...." Suddenly she was embracing Kratos, kissing him hard on the lips with passionate intensity.

*

Chapter 5- Embracing.

Kratos was not sure how to react. Freya was kissing him. His heart was beating so fast. His convictions and disciplines fell away, one by one. His arms rose and embraced Freya, pulling her closer to him. His lips returned her kiss, he could not stop them. He did not want to stop them. And she did not want to stop kissing him either. His mouth opened, and so did hers. They breathed into each other for a moment. Kratos could feel their Godly powers joining, their souls joining. He welcomed such joining with only brief hesitation, with no problem whatsoever once that hesitation had faded. Freya kissed Kratos, and he kissed her back, with firmness and fervor. Their kissing continued, until suddenly her hand rose and pushed him away.