by MarshAlien
GREAT story. Love it when a story is about a good person doing good things. Thanks. 5 stars.
Second time of reading in about a year and my view hasn't changed. Very well laid out and developed over 3 Lit pages. Usually, I prefer longer stories but IMO you got everything essential into it. A little surprised Jenny did not recognise him but that's part of the story although the moment when Bill gave her the clue 'any jacks' was really lovely. Thanks. 5 stars.
Brilliant! I wish this one had been a series. Thank you for a good story.
To those who opted to make critical or negative feedback, next time own your comments by using your screen name, instead of “anonymous”.
I enjoyed the tale and rated it a 4. I do have some criticism, which I hope will be taken gently as it was intended. The pacing seemed really rushed, in almost every way.
There wasn't much said about the dinner date that suggested that it was anything special for Jenny, as a date. She met an old friend, sure, but that wouldn't endear her to Bill. I can see her being open to the idea of a second date, but just because she was in town and at loose ends, not that Bill made a great impression on her. So I feel like the dinner conversation could have been expanded on a bit, give the readers some reason for Jenny to be interested in a second date.
The sex also seemed rushed. Jenny finds out that the guy she'd gone to dinner with was an old crush, and immediately pulls his pants down and starts sucking him off?
And then the dinner proposal: That was waaaay out of line. It might seem romantic, but ambushing your date of two nights and one bout of sex with a public proposal is a *really* stupid idea. Ambushing your long time girlfriend with a public proposal is a really stupid idea. As a good lawyer will tell you: You never ask a question to which you do not know the answer. Their context is for witnesses on the stand, but it applies to a marriage proposal as well. Communication is the key to a good relationship, and unless you have spoken with your partner about the prospect of marriage, and learned their preference for proposals (you can tease out their feelings without broadcasting your intention if you are smart about things), making your proposal a public one is rude, inconsiderate, and likely to result in public humiliation for either you or her or both. Don't do it.
Anyway, aside from the pacing being way too fast I otherwise enjoyed the story. It was well written, wasn't full of the typical spelling and grammar errors, and had a few clever bits that made it humorous. Cheers.
Oberon
Great story. A little more ending would be wonderful. Maybe heather could make more of an ass of herself.
I've read this story several times. I just feel good after reading it. It encompasses the best parts of a romance...Live, laugh and love.
DP
Great story. I will return from time to time to re-read it. Nancy Anonymous
Really enjoying this to bad it ended so quickly . Was hoping for much more high five
Well, I don’t know how many times I have enjoyed this story but it is still great!!! This is one of my three truly favorite stories!
Great story!! It was like a great meal; satisfying and at the same time, wanting more.
One can dream but impossible to miss the local kid who made good ...spoils the story
Nice story, but it is tough to miss when you are a multimillionaire
in your home town AND still remember your roots ... and act like it!
The only tension is based on neither daughter recognizing their
previous childhood neighbor! That drama could be diversified by
Beth, before the proposal, hinting to Heather that fitting into this
community might be slow and hard.
5*
The amazing amount of totally pleasing works that this author gave this site in less than two years is absolutely amazing. Would that he was still doing so. Bravos to him wherever he is.
Read this story quite a few times now and still one of my top t stories. My only complaint is its too short.
Great story, even though it comes crashing to a halt. I've read it many times and it doesn't get old.
Don't know who anonymous is but I totally agree! A spirit lifter!
regards
Jack
This story brought a big smile to my face, it lifted my spirits. It is a great story, and yes it begs for more.
That plot is so good I feel compelled to give it a 5 star rating, even though I feel that you could have done more with it. There is so much crap rated four that it would be unfair.
I really enjoyed reading it, it is a fun, smooth read.
I’ve read this story several times and enjoyed it each time but, after reading I’d like to or want more. To me like many of you the story seems incomplete. Good but, not finished. (More please)
This story ended somewhere near what should be the middle of it... And everything was going so nicely too. I am disappointed by that.
What there is of this story is lovely. Nice romance, a bit of tension, a touch of humour - but it’s way too rushed.
This seems to be the best - or right at the best - of this kind of tale but it closes its eyes to literally hundreds of possible leads. I want some more here - much more.
Read this so many times and it still brings a lump to my throat. Great writing. Thank you
An enjoyable story,though I think it is let down by the ending.There as to be more,especially Heather's reaction.
Keep writng, these Kinds of stories actually put a little smile on my face and I don't smile much anymore.
Can you please write a part 2??I am so in love with the story of Jenny and Willie!
This may be my fourth time reading this delightful little story. Seems every time I run across it on this site cannot help but read a bit of it again — and end up reading it all. Bravos again and again.
I don't know how many times I've read this, but I am delighted by it every time. It is one of my "Go To" stories when I'm down and need a positive push in order to get moving again. All too many of the stories on Literotica are essentially downers so it is a real treat to find one as uplifting as this one is.
Once again, thank you for writing this.
J.
I have to come back and read this again every so often, and it never disappoints!
The sassy banter is delightful!
I thought that I had commented previously, but I guess not.
This story grabbed me the first time, and the second was just as moving. I, too, would have liked more, but I can’t criticize the perfection of the tale. To evoke so much emotion in only three pages requires an exceptional gift. Thanks for including us on this journey.
This is my first comment ever!. When an author can evoke emotion without being over the top, lovingly plausible, makes it believable, there is hope.. Well done. no suggestions or any criticism what so ever. Way to go..... as my age group would say 2 thumbs up. in this case 5 stars.
nice story...though would've enjoyed it more with ... eeh. just more?? the romance/the love just began to pick up...and a proposal after a weekend of reacquainting?? huh? some things just don't add up and too short to "live out these things"
Sucked, moved way too fast and had a as n unrealistic dialogue. Stop trying to make the story pretty and try to make it good
I really loved this story. I felt it could have used a little more at the end, but I gave it 5 stars anyway,
This story is one of the best on this site. I really wish I could give it more stars. I've read it a dozen times.
Just read this story and it's still a brilliant story, would love a continuation of it.
Few paragraphs I was going to enjoy this story. It also didn't take long to figure out how Jenny was going to learn who Bill really was, "Number three. Got any jacks?". There always has to be a fly in the ointment which is where Heather came in. No one cheated, no one got shot, no one died but the thorn was nicely put in her place. Everyone else was a class act. A very nicely told happy story and if there were any typos I missed them too. Thanks for the read, I can't help it I'm just a closet romantic at heart. Signed: BTW
I too have read this story several times and enjoy it each time. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully enjoyable story!!!
Sweet, but a bit too abrupt an ending. And if they felt so strongly about each other why did they not keep in contact at all?
Clean and funny. 3rd read. Brings a smile and a chuckle each time. The two , ain characters are worth another story. 5
witten hasn't written 1 word on here . he has a right to his opinon , but should be a writer first.
another naysayer heard from. could it be witten had a story turned down??????????
enjoyed it doesn't need heaps of repetitive sex with the usual one on one then anal then threesome to be a enjoyable read
A good, well written romantic comedy. I read Witton's review. I disagree and honestly feel sorry for someone that priggish. Anyway, enough about that. This was a re-read for me and I enjoyed it just as much this time as the first. Nice job MarshAlien(great name, btw).
Just reread and I have to agree with OldGreyFox, it is a very good story,
heartwarming, simple and a joy to read.
I'm sorry Witton didn't like it, but considering all the numerous comments praising this story, I'll go with them and not his nit-picking review.
I have read this story 3 times now and love it more every time. The wonderful humor and a very nice love story weaved together with good characters who where all childhood friends. Nice, very nice. Thank you very much.
... all the characters were from the cast of usual suspects in stories on this list: the preternaturally successful hero, his amazing friends and his ability to repay past slights, and the hapless villainess
As fiction it demands much more developed characters and a plot with at least some tension; as erotica (our polite term for soft porn) it requires a great deal more sex. Jenny doesn't have to be a virgin, but maybe every time she did the dirty during the nine years since high school - thirteen years since they met - she was wishing it was him. As romance it happens too fast and angst-free.
In terms of fiction, i.e., character development and plot, and erotica, i.e., titillation, this story really doesn't cut it.
and STILL love it, and deserves the 5 and fave I gave it first time.
Great dialogue...
this time saving and moving to my all-time faves folder...
I stumbled across your story in a SIMILAR STORIES menu and was caught bymthe title.
In a short time you developed terrific characters: Marcia, Heather, Beth, Annamarie and Jenny. It helps when the lead character is filthy rich as Bill was depicted. I was quite surprised Jenny put out after the first date, regardless of his claiming to have loved her for thirteen years. Good writing.
I have read this several times over the last few years! 5* every time.
Baton Rouge Cajun Guy.
I read this again after many years and found it simply delightful. It is one of my favorites! Good job!
Baton Rouge Cajun Guy
Fortunately, I put it in my favorites back then.
I didn't remember it from the title, but it came back as soon as I started into it this time around. Still one of the absolute best stories I've read, ever.
Thanks for writing it.
If read this story countless of times will keep returning one of my favorites
All the people in it were nice people except maybe Heather. I hope one of these days she will find a guy and they last(I just had to add that) The story was short and sweet but maybe there could have been more even a sequel but than they are usually not as good as the original. 5 stars plus as always
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
With Several Hundred Comments and a majority of the comments in favor of the story! ....I definitely can say that this Story is a Classic (a story liked by all and has stood the test of time)
So Yeah My Comment is Predictable I Loved it so Yeah You get My Endorsement ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!
First, I've always enjoyed this story.
I come back and read it every now and again.
My only, minor, complaint is its too short. Both in time in the story and in length.
I like the setup, but wish it was over two weeks. I get the reveal but it doesn't need to be a few days.
Still one of my favorite stories
I am in love!! I love your story. You are one of my favorites!! Keep sharing your talent!
Local boy makes it big a really good friend from his past moves back and a true love is recindled from his past. A really good romance story. 5 Stars not the first time to read it and in my favorites.
I love this story. It’s probably in my “Top Three of All Time” list of stories I’ve read here on Literotica. My only criticism of it is about the ending. It seems just a little too forced, a little too...hell, I don’t know, maybe a little weak. It just seems to me that as great as the story was, the ending should have just as much of a powerful impact. And it didn’t. At least, not for me. I would still rate the story 5 stars, without a doubt.
Again. And, the best part? I'M NOT ALL PISSED OFF AFTER READING ANOTHER LW STORY! !! Thank you
To me the primise of this story is unrealistic as hell, BUT the plot and flow and twists and turns make this a VERY ENJOYABLE read !!!
Keep up your story writing.
Wonderful story, well thought out and left me with laughter and a very pleasant feeling that I haven't experienced in quite a while. Well done and keep writing. Pete