tagHumor & SatireGood & Evil vs. Anonymous

Good & Evil vs. Anonymous


Tonya smiled as she finished reading the missive from the Shlonski brothers. Apparently they missed her quite a lot (hence, it was a "missive" rather than a regular letter), but not enough to come home. The three well-endowed dwarfs were feeling quite at home with their cockies in many bums over in Gwendolyn and Al's kingdom, and so they'd decided to officially make their homes there (In the kingdom, not the bums, although they spent quite a lot of time there too...)

"Stop babbling!" Tonya demanded, "You're worse than Drksideofthemoon sometimes." A moment's reflection on what she had just said and she groaned, "Oh no... I'm in another story aren't I?!"

Heavenly music suddenly filled the room and a light shone through the ceiling, depositing her good friend Angel on the floor in a rather compromising position with a very attractive male angel.

"Oh!" said the pretty blonde divine, "Ooops! Chystostom, we over ran our time!" The black haired angel pulled his head up and saw Tonya.

"Oh... well know you this might not be so bad..." His eyes were big and round as they took in those bodacious boobies jiggling in the tight confines of a Wonder-bra (it was a wonder they stayed covered) and her heart-shaped pubic hair peeking out from behind the matching thong. Tonya sighed as she realized that she was definitely in a story having been relegated out of her normal trenchcoat and back into underwear. Not that she was wearing it under anything.

Angel shrieked, "Absolutely not! You're not supposed to be in stories! Get back up where you belong!" One swift kick to his well-shaped rear startled him into flight and he drifted up slowly, not wanting to tear his eyes from the lovely ladies in Tonya's office. Angel was looking pretty good, Tonya had to admit, her luscious 36DD's were clad in a tight transparent white sports bra and she was wearing absolutely nothing over her smoothly shaved mound. It was still glistening with juices from the attentions of Chystostom.

Looking back at Tonya, Angel saw where her friend's eyes had headed and blushed. Looking back up she called, "Hey! Big woman! Little help!"

"Oh, like it's my fault you missed the alarm... I told you not to get caught up with Chysostom, his name MEANS 'golden mouth' you twit, I warned you..." Tonya winced at the booming voice although Angel paid no heed at all.

Stamping her little foot her breasts bounced provocatively in their tight confines, pink nipples poking through angrily, "I didn't ask for your opinion, I asked for some coverage."


Looking down she saw that she'd been given a white thong that was just as transparent as her top and it was decorated with halos.

"Cute," she snorted, turning back to the other blonde, "Ok Tonya, we've got..."

"NO." said Tonya, "Absolutely not. You couldn't help me get rid of the ghost-writer and he put me into ANOTHER story. I absolutely refuse to help again. I don't WANT to be in another story. I was having a perfectly good time taking Herman in and out of the closet and..."

Angel interrupted her, "No, no no, Tonya. This isn't for a story... you're in danger."

Blue eyes gaped, "ME? In danger? Why?"

"The forces of evil are gathering - not Satan, another force. It's much darker and much more horrible, it wants to wipe out Satan's domain and take over. We think..." she gulped, "We think that it wants to get rid of all interesting sex... to end all the stories... and make all of them the same with just boring old missionary sex. No passion, no spontaneity, just puritanical sex."

"No..." gasped Tonya, overcome with the horror of this vision, "No anal? No blowjobs? No cunnilingus? No bondage? No loving wives or husbands? No fantasies of kinky rapes? No submission or domination? Nothing?!"

Angel shook her head, blonde hair swaying seductively although her expression was completely sober (as it should be, she hadn't had anything to drink since the night before), "Nope. The only category that will be left on the site is 'Erotic Couplings'."

"Well, Erotic Couplings aren't bad and all, but that's not all there is to life!" Tonya was absolutely horrified by this blase picture of the future, "What is this evil force called."

"It's called.... Anonymous."

"Anonymous? What kind of stupid name is that?"

Angel shrugged, "I don't know. But it seems that this 'Anonymous' has been leaving nasty comments on people's stories, trying to get them to conform to their own boring ideas. Between you and me, I don't think that they must have much of a sex life and are rather jealous of how great the sex lives of the kinkier characters can get. Allison's been in tears lately, she and Todd have taken a brutal beating, but fortunately Goldeniangel is backing her completely, she doesn't have to worry that our writer will succumb to the pressure."

"So what does this have to do with danger to me?" asked Tonya.

"Well," Angel sat on the desk, warping the wood as it tried to move its knotholes over where it could get a better look at her superior posterior, "It seems that you embody the worst of both Goldeniangel and Drksideofthemoon, your author. Anonymous has singled them out, among others, as being the perpetrators of interesting and kinky sex. As part of its move towards Site-Domination it needs to take you out. You have interesting sexual adventures, you meet all the characters in the other stories, and not only that but you've got an absolutely fantastic body." Angel eyed that absolutely fantastic body and licked her pink little lips before getting back to the point, "So you're kind of the poster-child for everything that Anonymous is against."

"What can I do?" asked Tonya, suddenly feeling fearful. If the Big Woman was sending her protection that couldn't be a good sign, Tonya usually knew how to look after herself - after all there were plenty of hazards when you were an international woman of mystery.

"Well, we're going to help you hide." Angel told her.

"We?" the blonde asked innocently (although she was anything but innocent.).

"Yes well," Angel never finished her reply as a corner of the room started to spew red smoke, out of which walked the three-horned (we already knew he was horny) Bri-Guy, leering lasciviously at the two lovely ladies. Tonya groaned and Angel looked at her sympathetically, "It can't be helped. The Big Woman and Satan wanted to send a representative. And it'll help with our disguise."

"Disguise?" Asked Tonya, trying to ignore the way the Bri-Guy was drooling. Suddenly both Angel and the Bri-Guy disappeared into small poofs of smoke and then there was something on each of her shoulders.

"We're going to be your shoulder angels." said a tiny voice to her right, that was Angel... her outfit didn't seem to be fitting any better despite her shrunken stature. If anything it looked to be more in danger of popping off.

"Ain't never been a shoulder angel that looked like that before," chuckled the Bri-Guy, leering around Tonya's neck at his counterpart. Then he got a little lost in the way Tonya's cleavage was suddenly so much larger and closer, "Ohhh... check out those babies... EEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Tonya flicked him from her shoulder, annoyed at the way his tiny penis had jutted out.

"HEY!" protested the Bri-Guy as he reappeared on her shoulder, "It's not tiny! It's perfectly proportional to how I am right now!"

"And to me, that's tiny," Tonya informed him, then turning back to Angel she asked, "So now what do we do?"

"We have to go into Storyland, and hide you among the characters and stories that Anonymous hates the worst. We're hoping that Anonymous will avoid there and won't find you."

"What if Anonymous goes after the writers directly?"

"Can't," said the Bri-Guy, his position on Tonya's shoulder rather precarious as he continued to salivate over her breasts, she wiped the drool from the top of her curve, "Too much of a coward. Wants to build strength first, and to do that it needs to take out you first. Only then will anyone else be in danger."

"Great," muttered Tonya, "Just what I always wanted.... ok, so how do we get to Storyland?"

Angel looked up to the heavens, "Ok, we're ready!"


Miss Conception peeked into the office with a fire extinguisher, she'd seen so much smoke coming out from under the door that she worried Tonya was thinking about mounties again. But there was no one in the room.... hmmm. Mounties... mounties that were big and strong with tight pants that were concealing the most luscious...


Hastily Miss Conception sprayed her own blazing crotch with the fire extinguisher.



Tonya looked around her at the incredible orgy that was going on. It seemed like the entire world was represented in this room, intertwining bodies that were moaning and heaving ecstatically, lost in their lustful activities. She could feel her pussy heating up.

"Don't get distracted," Angel murmured, her own golden eyes fixed on a particularly handsome man with the body of a Greek God who was, at the moment, fervently plowing another woman with his impressive farming tool (she had quite a greedy furrow as well), then, looking up at the sky Angel murmured again, "Enough with the farming puns, thank you."


It seemed like everywhere they went there were beautiful men and women, with bodies to rival that of Tonya's and Angel's (The only basis that the Bri-Guy would have be admitted would have been his immense dick), and they were all fucking away with wild abandonment.

Walking quickly, Boom-Chicka-Booms causing no comment or shock in this setting, Tonya found her way out of the orgy scene and into what looked like a dungeon. Looking around she didn't see anyone at first, and then caught a glimpse of hazel curls out of the corner of her eye.

As she started walking over to investigate the Bri-guy started complaining, "Awww, come on, couldn't we have gone back to the orgy? That looked like fun! Anonymous would have never found us there."

"No," said Angel sharply, turning the fullforce of her womanly glare on him. He wilted a little. "We have to get Tonya past as many scenes as possible so that it'll be all that harder for Anonymous to come after her. If Anonymous has to go through everything it hates then maybe it'll give up before it finds Tonya. If we stay in the first scene, we'll probably never make it."

Tonya could now see that there was a person bent over a horse, panting heavily as they were being spanked, brown curls swaying. Coming a little closer she was surprised to recognize Todd, spanking the upturned backside of her friend Allison.

"Todd!" she exclaimed in surprise, and he turned, eyes bulging dangerously as he caught sight of her 34DD's, barely contained in her WonderBra. Really, that thing could be dangerous sometimes, the amount of cleavage it gave her. It was becoming apparent that Todd was already lost in the landscape of her breasts. She gave him a quick smack across the face.

He frowned, "Are you allowed to do that?"

"I don't know," Tonya shrugged, "But I didn't know what else to do."

"I see," he said, his eyes falling back to her cleavage.

"Stop that!" yelled Allison, "You're supposed to be punishing me!"

Todd gave a little start, looking back to her pert and only slightly pink bottom, "Ahh right. Yes... back to that immediately."

He gave her another hefty smack on her sexy bottom, making it jiggle lusciously as she shrieked.

"Ouch," muttered Tonya as she started walking away. Angel and Bri-Guy looked a little jealous as they watched the scene fade away.

They could all hear Allison calling, "Good luck Tonya! Although if Anonymous gets past me I'd be shocked, it hates my stories!"

After a short trip through some hazy mist Tonya came out into a very familiar backyard.

"Hey! I recognize this place!" the Bri-guy danced happily, "This was like the best day of my infernal life!" And then he squeaked and grabbed Tonya's blonde tresses to keep from falling into his happy memories, although he did look at them wistfully - Angel and Tonya looked at them a little wistfully too.

They greeted Kristin with hugs, and met Brittany and Tom. Tom asked them if they wanted to stay a little longer, leering lustfully at Tonya's svelte curves and Angel's miniaturized ones... but Kristin and Brittany hurriedly rushed them on with words of warning. Looking back over their shoulders, the trio could see Kristin getting on her hands and knees in front of Tom, her face already in her friend's blonde pussy as the man started to press his dick into her dripping wet cavern of lust.

Tonya sighed a little, being protected was no fun... she'd much rather stop and stay awhile in some of these stories. They looked like an awful lot of fun.

Scene after scene passed by, characters that she'd never heard of and those whose stories she read every day. There was only one scene that Angel and Bri-Guy had to literally drag her from - a very handsome black man was having fantastic sex with a passionately screaming young woman, they had invited Tonya in and Angel and Bri-Guy had to actually pick her up to get her out of there, protesting all the way.

But, once away from the lustful sight, she agreed with them. The things that Anonymous had said about that particular story! Well! Tonya thought that the different skin tones were beautiful, she didn't understand how anyone in this day and age could still be so narrowminded. Hey, if the sex is good, why knock the means?

After that it was a journey through several how-to's... looking over "Getting Her In Bed" Bri-Guy snorted, "Hey, what about what women should do for men? Huh?"

Angel glared at him, "You colossal ass! That's exactly what Anonymous said! What is it that some people just have to ASSUME that it's not going to happen JUST BECAUSE it's not up yet?! What, was my author supposed to control when her stories go out?"

"Oh..." said Bri-guy, his own author nudging him impatiently. He was not going to be happy if the little demon got him in trouble with Angel's author. Not happy at all. "I'm sorry... I didn't know."

When they got to "Male Multiples" they stopped and watched the demonstration portion.

"Now that's a useful how-to!" said Bri-guy, leering at Angel, "We should try that sometime!"

Angel sniffed and hid a smile, but Tonya thought that the heavenly creature was much more interested than she was pretending. There was a wet spot on the crotch of her white thong.


When they finally stopped, they were hidden in yet another scene of lust and sex, random people with intertwining body parts. Tonya wanted very badly to join in, but she understood that they need to keep watch just in case Anonymous did get this far. Something was still bothering her though... niggling at the side of her mind.

"Hey, Angel?" She looked to her right shoulder. No Angel. She looked to her left where Angel and Bri-Guy were standing, about as far away from each other as they could get with the most innocent expressions on their faces... surely not.... Tonya shook herself to rid her mind of the thought and Angel shrieked, grabbing her hair as the Bri-guy went flying from her shoulder.

"Oops," she said, shamefaced.


"It's ok," said the Bri-guy, he leered back at the woman who's chest he'd fallen onto and Angel glared at him.

"What was your question?" the little heavenly creature asked, turning back to Tonya.

"Well, uh, aren't there good anonymous comments sometimes?" she asked, "I mean, I know I saw some on Lady Peasant, and I haven't seen Gwendolyn or Al anyway. Kinda disappointing, I wanted to know how married life was treating them."

"Oh yes," nodded Angel, breasts bouncing emphatically (and Bri-Guy's head as his eyes followed the bouncing melons' paths), "But you see, it's not the same person. Anonymous used the pathways of the good people to begin its reign of judgement, knowing that because there are the good anonymous comments that the author's wouldn't limit it. And so Anonymous has grown, and even though the good anonymous comments continue they are starting to lose the battle with the evil one. Just as Satan is starting to lose the battle... which is why we're all here in the end."

The explanation was interrupted as there was sudden screaming from the side of the scene. Everyone's head whipped around to where a spaceship looking thing was coming down, and the story characters huddled together on the other side of the scene.

"Oh no!" whispered Angel, quivering delightfully against the Bri-Guy (who was looking much less scared than he should be), "It's worse than we thought! Anonymous has gotten hold of the Censor-ship!"

"The Censor-ship?" asked Tonya.

"Yes!" said Angel, "It's horrible!! When you're in its vicinity you can't do or say anything bad! It was originally made by the forces of good, but when it started being used for evil purposes it was banished... Anonymous has found it and brought it back!"

Suddenly Tonya noticed that Angel's clothing seemed to be growing... in fact, they were no longer in a crowd of naked happy people... everyone's expression were getting bleaker and they were now all in clothes that completely covered them. Her own turtleneck was getting irritatingly scratchy... and awww FUDGE!!!! Her breasts had shrunk!

Suddenly Tonya went back up and read the last paragraph. Fudge? Breasts? Since when had any of these stories every been anatomically correct? Or used different words for curse words? Shoot! It must be that devilish Censor-ship! It hadn't even landed and it was taking devious effect!

To her left the Bri-guy was steadily trying to curse, "Well shoot, this is just absolute cow manure! Anonymous can just go hardware tool himself!"

Hardware tool? Hammer, nail, glue gun, clamp, screw... OH....

"MY SPIRITUAL FATHER CURSED TROUSER TROUT HAS SHRUNK!" he finished, screaming at the top of his lungs. Angel and Tonya paused as they tried to figure out what he had just tried to say....

"Oh no!" shrieked Angel cutely, "Not that gorgeous pillar of manhood!"

"If we can't talk normal, can we just stop talking?" pleaded Tonya.

They all turned and looked as one to the Censor-ship, which had finally landed. The dire affects of its nearness became apparent as the people around them all grew silent, watching with dread-filled faces as a ramp began to lower.

Angel raised her pretty face to the sky and whispered, "Hey Big Woman??? What now???"


"Big Woman??" a little more frantically, "BIG WOMAN???"

The Bri-Guy looked down, "Satan??? Hey, Satan????" he looked at the two women, and then upwards, "Hey uh... Author anyone???"


"What does it mean?" asked Tonya.

"It means we're on our own..." said Angel. She looked a little faint and the Bri-Guy got behind her in case she needed a little support. To his dismay the Censor-ship even interfered with that and his hand landed on her lower back rather than her backside.

With growing dread they watched as the Censor-ship landed, its effects making them feel strangled, unexcited, and very blase. They struggled with these new emotions, trying to hold onto the thoughts of great and kinky sex, the dirty things... no wonder Anonymous had managed to make it through all the things it hated with this ship. Everything would have just melted away, completely censored until the ship left its area.

A ramp began descending, and everyone in the crowd drew back, leaving Tonya standing alone in front of them. No, not alone...


Bri-guy and Angel were suddenly at full size and standing beside her, their expressions somber. Everyone knew that the showdown for their very existence was at hand. When the figure at the top of the ramp began descending into the light, out of the darkness of the ship, there was a huge intake of breath from the crowd - a gasp of horror that was strangled in their throats by the grotesqueness of the figure in front of them.

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byGoldeniangel© 7 comments/ 22517 views/ 2 favorites

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