Growing Up Male & Becoming a Girl

My sister is four years older than me, and since our father left the family when I was very young, I have really never known of a household that wasn't dominated by women.

Growing up in the late 50's and early 60's, female lingerie was extremely feminine. Most every female wore a bra and full cut panties under a half or full slip every day. Garter belts and nylon stockings were also normal attire under the daily wearing of knee length dresses. It was not unusual for females to also wear petticoats to provide fullness under their dress.

This daily lingerie was not what you see today, it was loaded with lace and nylon. Satin bows were also a common adornment. And most women hand washed their lingerie and hung it in the bathroom to dry.

We lived in a three bedroom one bath house, and I can't remember a time when there weren't several pairs of panties, bras, slips, and nylons hanging in the bathroom. The sight of all this lingerie always fascinated me and from almost the first time I saw it I wished I could be the one wearing it instead of my boring boy underpants.

I especially enjoyed looking at and touching my sister's lingerie as it had beautiful amounts of lace and satin bows on it. Some of her full cut panties had several rows of lace across the butt and I noticed she always wore those types when she had the chance.

When I was 18 I had no visible body hair anywhere on me. No hair between my legs, under my arms or on my chest. I had zero traces of a beard. Plus my penis had not grown in size at all from when I was little. I did not have a ball sack as my tiny testicles had failed to descend out of my body. All I had below my little nub of a cock was a mound of skin that was totally soft to the touch.

Because money was tight, I had not gotten proper medical attention when I needed it and the result was my little balls were permanently lodged inside my body. This caused me to have a very low amounts of testosterone in my body and higher than normal amounts of estrogen.

The extra estrogen kept my skin soft and smooth and made the nipples on my breasts overly sensitive to sexual stimulation. By gently flicking my fingers on my nipples I could get them to grow and stand at attention. In contrast, it took several minutes of pulling on my tiny penis to get it to grow and get "hard." It was never rock hard and at the age of 18 I had never experienced a full ejaculation from my tiny cock. I had only felt wet dreams which were sticky secretions that happened involuntarily and never together with a hard penis.

I had tried to ejaculate but was never able to do it. I measured my tiny "erection" and found it to be only 2.5 inches when fully extended. It was not at all thick, but rather pencil thin.

By the time I was 18 my sister was 22 and had gotten a part time job but still lived at home with my mother and me. Lingerie still filled our bathroom, and having time in the house to myself I decided it was time to explore my long held desire of fully dressing as a girl.

It was a late afternoon when I was 18 years old that I put on a complete set of my sister's lingerie. Full cut panties, a training bra, a half-slip and a camisole, plus a garter belt and lace top stockings. I topped it all off with a knee-length shirt dress that was made of nylon and had hints of lace around the hem and I made sure to pull on a petticoat. When I saw myself in the mirror it startled me that I looked exactly like a girl. It was the late 60's and I had long hair that almost touched my shoulders so my female look was just about complete and oh so natural.

I laid back on my bed, put my hand up under my skirt and petticoat and put my thumb and fore finger into the leg opening of my panties to touch my tiny penis. I started to stroke the thin little cock with the hope I could make it ejaculate. It would be my first ever ejaculation and I was not sure I could do it.

I closed my eyes as I stroked faster and faster using just my two fingers. I felt my little shaft start to get harder. It was growing just a little longer as I could feel the nylon of my panties sliding on the helmet of my circumcised dick. I could tell the slit at the tip of my cock was opening and closing a bit as it rubbed against my panties. I thought this is what must happen if it was to ejaculate so I gently slid the tip of my forefinger across the top of the opening and felt a warm sticky feeling that was similar to wet dreams I had experienced. I found out later, I was feeling pre-cum. I could feel myself being fully erect at about three inches long and about the size of a nickel in girth. I stroked faster and faster.

"WHAT are you doing?!" My sister's voice loudly pierced the silence and startled me to quickly open my eyes.

"I'm...........I'm...........I'm.........trying to ejaculate." I said sheepishly. (Might as well tell the truth since I was caught in the act.)

"In my clothes?!" She continued.

"Well I.......uhhhhh." I stammered.

"I thought you had been getting into my underwear. I kept noticing they didn't always feel completely clean when I put them away or pulled them on." She said putting the pieces together.

"Don't tell Mom.......please." I begged.

"Calm down. I won't say anything. Besides, I'd like to watch you try to do it." She said.

"Really!? Are you sure?" I replied.

"Yes, really. I really love watching the white cream squirt out of the end. It turns me on." She continued.

"Will you do it for me?" She asked.

"I'll try" I said.

"What do you mean try? Haven't you ever done it before?" My sister asked.

"No. I never have and I'm not sure I can." I replied.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, all 18 year old men ejaculate. Here, lift up the dress and the petticoat and I'll pull down the panties so you can wrap your hand around your cock." She said sweetly.

I did as she asked me to and when she slid the full cut panties down my legs she had a complete expression of shock on her face.

"Oh my! You don't have any hair between your legs! And your cock is standing up straight, but I have never seen one that is so tiny. And it's really small around. Is that a penis?" She asked.

"I think it is. I don't really have anything to compare it to." I replied.

"Well I've seen a real man's penis and it is five times bigger and much fatter around when it is erect. Some of the ones I have seen filled my mouth from side to side when I went down on them. Your cock is the size of a straw!" She said flatly.

"I can't help it. It's not my fault. I think this is why I'm drawn to wanting to wear girl's clothes. I think I may really be a girl with a tiny penis that is there by mistake." I started to well up as I replied.

"Oh don't cry. Keep pulling on your little wee wee and let's make it cum. Go ahead stroke it with your two fingers really fast." She instructed.

I did as she said as she stood between my legs at the end of the bed.

"That's it. I see it getting wet. I think something is starting to happen. Do you feel anything?" She asked.

"I think I do." I said as a warm feeling began to grow between my legs.

"Keep stroking, and do it faster." She said as her voice rose.

About five seconds after this instruction I blurted out:

"I think I'm going to pee!"

"That's not pee. Just let it happen." She directed.

At that moment I felt my tiny shaft swell between my two fingers and I could not stop a squirt of fluid out of the tip.

"You're doing it! You're cumming!" She said. "Such as it is."

I was gasping for breath as I asked:

"What does that mean?"

"Well, it is definitely creamy white, and it did squirt out, but there isn't that much of it. How big are your balls? That's where it comes from." She said.

"I don't know." I said. "I've never really felt them."

"Oh don't be silly." She said as she leaned over and put her hand on the skin mound below my cock.

"Oh jeeze. You're right. I can't feel anything. Is this your ball sack?" She asked.

"I think so" I answered. "I'm not sure what a sack is supposed to feel like."

"My God. Maybe you are more of a girl than you are a boy. Maybe that's not a penis between your legs but a clitoris! Maybe that's why you don't have body hair. Maybe you are my sister!" She said.

"I am?!!" I said shocked.

"Hold on." My sister said as about ten minutes went by with us both looking at each other.

"You really do look pretty in my lingerie and dress. Your skin is so soft and smooth. Your longer hair seems very full. But I can't believe it. You are a boy and always have been." She stood over me with a shocked look on her face.

"All of this has kinda turned me on" she said. "Do you think you can get hard again?"

"I can try." I answered.

"If you'll let me, I'm going to try and lick your cock and make it cum again. I love the taste and feel of cum and I know how to make men ejaculate when I use my tongue on them. Can I try? She asked.

"What will that prove?" I asked.

"Well, if you do cum it might show you are a male instead of the female you look like. It won't hurt." She said.

"This has been quite a day for me. My own sister has seen me in her clothes and watched me ejaculate for the first time ever for me. I guess things could not get any stranger if I let you try." I admitted.

"Okay. Just lay back and relax. I'll take my clothes off and only wear my bra and panties to give you something to look at." She said.

I watched her disrobe and she noticed my tiny cock was twitching.

"That's a good sign" she said.

When she was wearing just a satin and lace pink bra with a matching pair of pink full cut panties with rows of lace across the butt she kneeled down between my legs and lowered her mouth between my legs.

"First, I'll kiss it and then lick it and finally I'll suck on it to make you cum" she said.

"Okay" I said as I felt her warm mouth on my cock and then felt her tongue licking up and down the shaft. Then in one motion my tiny cock was in her mouth and she began to suck as her tongue slid up and down my tiny shaft.

"This is like sucking on a drinking straw!" She said as she pulled off quickly.

She again plunged her mouth onto my shaft and I felt the sucking again and her tongue. I did not experience the same feeling I had just before I ejaculated about 30 minutes before. I could see her nipples swelling inside her bra as it was obvious she was enjoying what she was doing. She continued for at least another ten minutes. I did not ejaculate. She pulled off.

"Nothing?" she asked.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't do it." I said as my little shaft quickly went totally limp.

"Well, I soaked my panties. Your cock is very tiny, but it turned me on." She told me.

I could see her panties between her legs were indeed very wet.

"I think I may really be a girl." I told her. "I have dreams about one day being the bride at my own wedding."

"Wow. You may be right. I would think you should have cum in my mouth with me sucking on you. Do you really want to be a girl?" She asked.

"I don't know. This is all so confusing. I have had several dreams I was a bride in a beautiful satin and lace wedding gown and I was standing in front of a church with a minister and holding the hand of a handsome man I was going to marry. I felt a tingle run through me as the minister said you may kiss the bride, and then I physically shivered as my new husband kissed me and when his tongue touched mine I poured cum into the panties of my bridal lingerie but my little penis was totally soft and limp."

"It sounds to me that living as a girl would make you happy." She said.

"I.....think........you may be right." I said slowly. "I think I would be an excellent wife."

"Have you ever had any kind of sexual experience with a real man?" She asked.

"No. " I answered.

"Would you like to experience a real man sexually?" She asked.

"Maybe..........." I answered slowly.

My sister said:

"I have a very macho male friend at work who confided in me that he has also performed oral sex on an erect penis. We have talked many times about various techniques. If I told him what we wanted him to do, I'm sure he would say yes. Shall I ask him for you?"

"Is it safe?" I asked.

"I've had full intercourse with him and allowed him to cum inside me without protection because we both had blood tests. It's very safe." She replied.

"I would like to experience a real man sexually. I have fantasized about it many times. Do you think he will do it?" I asked.

"I'm pretty certain he would after I describe to him how pretty you are." She replied.

"Since you know now, I'd like to stop wearing male underwear and from this moment forward wear only female lingerie full time. Can you let me wear your training bras?" I asked sheepishly.

"Of course you can. And I have several older pairs of panties plus a few slips you can wear. And at night you should wear some of my older nightgowns. And we will not tell Mom. Helping you become a full time girl will be our little secret." She said in a most loving way.

"I want to start now! I want you to take all of my male underwear away so it's impossible to get to. I want to live as much as I can as a girl from this moment on." I said with conviction.

"This is going to be fun. We'll need to give you a girl's name."

"I've always liked the name Julia." I said.

"Oh that's pretty. Then Julia it is."

For the next six months my sister and I engaged in sexual relations at least five times a week. She taught me how to lick her vagina and to kiss and lick her ample nipples. On more than one occasion we tried to insert my tiny penis into her vagina, but it was always too small. The closest we got was the little helmet brushing against her full wet cunt lips.

My sister also taught me how to apply facial make-up. When my lipstick, mascara, eyelashes, and eyeshadow were in place I was the most natural looking girl you could find. We went into public together as girls and there was never any doubt in anyone's mind I was a female.

Her macho work friend was more than happy to enter into a sexual relationship with me and when he did I realized how natural it was for me. Kissing, licking, and stroking a real male cock into a full and very hard erection was easy for me to do. Putting that huge male cock in my mouth and feeling it squirt warm semen into me convinced me that I was finally "normal" and I could enjoy a full and complete sex life as the girl I was meant to be.

It was about seven months into this experience of wearing a full set of lingerie under my male clothes every day and sleeping every night in a nylon and lace nightgown that I began to explore what was out there for me in terms of truly finding a husband. A loving husband who would accept me for who I was and who would want me to be his wife.

I found personal ads on two or three crossdresser websites that allowed pictures and a description of what I was looking for. I had my sister take several photos of me fully dressed and in make-up and a few "naughty" photos that showed me in my lingerie. And then a few photos of me naked, clearly showing the thin little "straw" between my legs and my lack of a ball sack.

Within the first week of posting my photos and personal description I had several men reach out wanting to date me.

I told everyone I was looking for a long term relationship with a man who would be willing to marry me and live with me as his wife. I wanted a traditional church wedding with me as a full blown bride. I would live full time as a female and I would become a loyal and dutiful housewife who would be submissive to my husband in all ways. I didn't ask for it, but I wanted to find a man who had been married before to a biological woman. I had the opinion he would have been knowledgeable in how to properly treat a lady.

After six months of dating at least five gentlemen, I developed a close relationship with one man who I hoped would ask me to marry him. My prayers were answered when he did as I quickly said "yes."

My husband is eight years older than me and very loving and really handsome. We were married by a minister in a church as I had wanted with my sister as my maid of honor and my mother in attendance.

We just celebrated our fifth anniversary and we have a very active, passionate, sex life. I have worn complete female clothing in excess of six years now and will never return to male clothing. My tiny penis has never gotten bigger and in reality has shrunk. I have never developed body hair of any kind and a beard has never shown. My husband has gone with me to the doctor and we are talking about surgery to remove my tiny testicles. With them gone, the larger amount of estrogen I have in my body will take over and my breasts can grow to fullness and I will never again get a tiny hard straw in my panties.

I'm really looking forward to finally being able to experience as close as possible what it is to be 100% female. And I'm very grateful I have a caring and loving husband as my partner to share in the joy of life.