Guns and Dust Ch. 04

After three days of intense training, Adina's body complained as she sleepily rolled over on the tarp. Training with Asher seemed to be made up of equal parts exhilaration, frustration, and to her surprise, fun. She'd never felt much like a fighter. She knew enough to keep people's hands off her and had been shown how to use a gun, but beyond that, fighting wasn't something she ever thought she'd be good at.

She still wouldn't say she was any good, but even the little she'd learned so far made her confidence swell. Asher let her throw him to the ground over and over, so she understood how the techniques worked. Then he cajoled her to focus when she laughed as he got up off the ground. She wasn't laughing at him - but she just couldn't help it. It was like a tickle, a giddy giggle that bubbled up from somewhere inside her.

"I'm sorry," she'd said, covering her wide smile. "I don't know why I can't stop."

He smiled as he dusted himself off. "It's alright. You're recognizing what you can do." He stepped to her and grabbed her again. "But you still need to focus on the technique. Alright, again. Remember to turn your foot as you pivot so you don't put stress on your ankle."

But it came at a price. He was careful not to hurt her, and strong enough that he could control her body weight when he threw her, but she still hit the ground a lot more often than he did.

She grimaced at the sudden pain in her bruised shoulder as she pulled the blanket up, then fell back asleep, a smile brimming. Part of her soreness had nothing to do with training. Their sex was as physical as their training. They were fucking at least twice a day, napping and just lying together for long hours in between.

As they lay sweating together or tucked up against each other under the blanket against the night's chill, he'd told her more about Cosanti and other city states. Images of Cosanti played through her mind like the movies she'd heard about as she drifted back to sleep. Asher's descriptions of the vibrant city crept in often when she wasn't thinking of something else. The lush gardens that topped the faded and sunburned yellow stone of the outer walls, the expanses of green that spread out for hectares in every direction were sensuous fantasies of abundance. He said tens of thousands of people lived in and around Cosanti. She saw them walking down the lanes and streets he described. There were so many different colors and styles of clothing, newly manufactured, of hemp, bamboo, wool and even silk. And there were market stalls and cafes. Her mouth watered at his description of the foods and exotic spices. She could almost feel the cool breezes that sighed through the streets, moved by the giant windmills and turbines that dotted the rooftops and walls. Some of the turbines even hung mid-air, held aloft by huge balloons he'd described as sky fish, their long, brightly colored trailing tails and fins helping to keep them aligned to the wind.

Adina knew about honey. Years ago, one of the towns that had been razed by raiders had raised bees. So, she'd had it before, even though she barely remembered the taste. When he'd produced a straw of the amber liquid, she thought it was a trick. Until he'd cut the end off and put a dot on her tongue. They'd spent the rest of that evening reveling in the honey's sticky sweetness, enjoying it one drop at a time. He'd put a drop on her nipples, licking and sucking them until they weren't sticky anymore. He'd kissed down her belly and followed suit, putting a drop on her clitoris. She'd cum once as he licked and sucked her to clean it off, then again, her legs trembling, her hips bucking as his tongue played inside her, following where the honey might have gone.

The scene was happily replaying in her mind when she felt him press against her, pulling her body against him through the blanket.

"Come on sleepy." She leaned into the contact as he kissed her ear. "Time to get up, we've got work to do." He gave her a peck on the cheek then pushed up giving her a light swat on the backside as he stood up. "We're running today."

She grinned, her cheeks pulling hard as she rolled and stretched.

Their makeshift bed was still in the shade, but the sun was already cresting over the ruined buildings that towered above the bleached red stone walls of the rift. She got up and grabbed her clothes then went around the corner to where their latrine was. When she came back, Asher was sitting in the bearcat's open side hatch with a plate of food. There was another full plate sitting next to him.

He'd surprised her when he showed her the small crate of honey he had hidden in the bearcat. There were more than two hundred straws of it.

"I like honey," he'd told her. "And it's got a lot of uses." He held up the small box filled with straws. "For trade if nothing else." He nodded to her. "Your reaction is pretty typical."

"You're not testing it out on other all the girls the way you did with me, are you?" She'd leaned on her hands, watching him with narrowed eyes and a grin.

He cocked his head. "Do you think I go through all of this..." He gestured to the canyon, bearcat and their camp. "With every girl I run into in the wastes?"

"I don't know. Maybe you're just, industrious." She leaned in and gave him a long kiss, their lips and tongues playing lightly.

"Too much of a pain in the neck." He eyed her. "Like you."

She dramatically feigned offense. "My delicate sensibilities!"

He sat back and closed the box. "If you had delicate sensibilities, I'd have left you behind."

She picked up the bowl he'd made up for her, a corner of her mouth up, stuck in a half smile at the memory of their honey play. She sat against the other side of the hatch, putting one of her booted feet on top of his.

"Running? Isn't that a bad idea?" She took a bite. It was the same thing they ate every morning. It wasn't very interesting, but she wasn't complaining. They ate three times a day, every day. And none of it had the skunky, spoiled flavor of things she'd eaten so often in the past.

"What do you mean?"

"Running is bad for you. You burn energy you don't have to, you breath harder, take in more toxins, and if it's cold, you can get pneumonia because of it."

He stopped eating, just watching her. It was his turn to look like he was trying to figure out if she was joking. When she didn't seem to be, he set his plate in his lap. "Are you serious? People say that?"

His look of unvarnished shock and disbelief drove into her like a boot heel through her center, right to her backbone. Any kick he might have landed was carefully controlled, but his expression... the sheer weight of his surprise and disbelief - almost disgust; he couldn't hide that.

She suddenly felt stupid; like a little girl making pronouncements in front of a room of adults who all clearly knew she was wrong. She knew his expression wasn't aimed at her, but it felt like he'd kick in the guts just the same.

"Yes. Well, it's..." she stammered. "It makes sense, right?"

He opened his mouth to answer, stopped, and just watched her. He closed his mouth again.

Now everything inside her was whirling. She could feel her cheeks redden as her embarrassment grew. And with it came anger. "What were you going to say?"

"I'm just surprised is all." He picked up his plate and took a bite without looking at her.

"What were you going to say?" she demanded, the confusion of emotions inside her turning to a storm.

He lowered his plate, looking uncomfortable. "What I was going to say would have hurt your feelings even if I wasn't talking about you, but whoever had told you that."

"What were you going to say!" she snapped, angry tears welling in her eyes.

"I was going to say, 'That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of!'" he spat. "But I wasn't thinking about you, Adina. That's why I didn't say it. I didn't want you to think I was talking about you. The people who say things like that are just so..."

Adina fiercely wiped the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks. "So what?!"

He sighed. "Ignorant. Uneducated." He set his plate aside, then looked at her, his eyes on hers. They followed the tears on her cheeks. "I don't think you're stupid, Adina. You know that right?"

She set her food aside, suddenly not hungry. Everything inside her had become churning confusion. Where anger had been a moment ago, she now felt so... small. And it was that smallness that came out when she answered, "Yes." She was furious at the sudden feeling after how capable she'd felt only moments before. But something in her crippled her anger, leaving only a deep stab of misery. Even as she fought them, more tears flowed

"People in the wastes just don't know some things. It's not their fault. They don't have access... They're not taught things."

"We know plenty of things!" she snapped, trying to recapture her anger so she didn't just sit there and bawl like a pathetic child.

He held up his hands. "I know that. I'm not saying anyone is stupid." He reached out and took her hands. "Especially not you." He lifted her chin, locking her eyes with his. "I do not think you are stupid, Adina." He enunciated every word clearly, squeezing her hands. "Alright? You believe me?"

"Yes. It's just..." Her words petered out.

She couldn't say anything. It took everything she had to try and control the storm growing inside her. He just waited for her to continue

He finally gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "Tell me."

She lifted her eyes to his again, then glanced at the interior of the bearcat, the camp, his equipment.

"You're just so..." She shrugged, the feeling of smallness battering against the tempest of other emotions she was fighting to control. "You have all this, you know things... Cosanti, everything you talk about, what you show me. I just feel so... stupid." She looked at him, words and emotions suddenly tumbling out. "I feel like I'm playing a game and I don't know the rules... and as soon as I..." Tears were rolling again. "...as soon as you see how stupid I am..." Her voice caught on her tears, shearing up and she started to cry. "...you're going to leave me behind." All the fear she'd been holding at bay suddenly roared up from inside her, flooding out in a cascade of tears and body-shaking sobs.

He slid across the open door and pulled her into his arms. "Shhh..."

She clung to him desperately as emotions she hadn't felt in... she didn't know how long, tore their way free, spilling out in an uncontrolled storm. She pressed her face against his scarred neck, shaking and sobbing. And in the maelstrom of fear and uncertainty the storm's violent heart suddenly revealed itself.

For one of the few times in her life, she felt safe.

And in that realization, the terror she lived with every day became clear.

"I'm so scared!" she wailed. The terrified little girl that hid deep inside her had found her voice and Adina couldn't silence her. She couldn't remember when, or if, she'd ever acknowledged her all-encompassing fear. But, something in her had been broken open and everything spilled out like an overturned crate.

Asher just held her close and rocked her.

It took a long time before her sobs began to slow.

"Shhh... It's alright," he said through her dark, tear-wet hair.

When the worst of the gales were finally over, he kissed her hair and pushed it out of her face, then lifted her chin. She could see the concern for her in his lapis blue eyes as they watched her reddened ones. "I want to show you something."

She followed his hands as he pulled the amulet from around his neck. It was so nondescript that she'd never given it any thought, barely realizing he was wearing it until he took it off. Hanging from the steel chain was a thick gray metal disk with a domed garnet-red stone set into a recess at the center of it. He put it into her hand. "If anything ever happens to me and you need help, press the stone." He indicated it with a calloused finger. "You'll have to press it hard, but you'll feel it click. Or just smash it with something, a rock, whatever, either way, it will activate it." He held it up for her to look at, watching her eyes. "They may not come quickly, but they will come."

Adina took it, running the back of her hand over her nose and looking at the nondescript piece of jewelry. She wiped her cheeks. "Who... who will come?" she asked around her sniffles.

He pushed strands of hair out of her face. "Other Longhunters. A rescue team." He put the chain around her neck and settled the amulet against her chest. She felt it, the smooth, manufactured metal and polished stone running between her fingers. He took her face in his hands, watching her eyes. "I will not leave you behind, Adina."

His words penetrated into her like the warmth of the sun, easing the fearful ache inside. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely, wishing she could press herself through his skin and into his body. Tears came again, but they weren't from fear now. She whispered, "I love you," into his ear.

His burly arms pulled her tight against him, it felt like he might squeeze the air right out of her lungs. Then he released her and leaned back, his strangely blue eyes on hers again. He gave her a confident, reassuring smile. "Feel better?"

She leaned against him, nodded and sniffled. "Yes."

He gave her a gentle kiss on the head and after a few more minutes of comforting her while she ran the amulet through her fingers, he gave her another squeeze and leaned away. He grabbed his breakfast plate and pointed at her plate. "Finish your breakfast. Then we're going for a run." When she looked up he was giving her a dazzling, playful smile. "You'll probably think it's going to kill you, or maybe wish you'd died. But I promise you, it won't."

"That sounds like what you said about the inoculant."

He grinned. "It won't be that bad, I promise."

Adina collapsed to the broken ground unsure if she was going go throw up, pass out or if her body was going to literally fall apart. She could see her arms and legs just disconnecting and falling to the baked beige earth as separate pieces as she tried to pull in air. Asher jogged to a stop a few yards away and looked back. He was stripped to the waist, the sun beating on the tan skin of his muscular, scarred, tattooed torso. Sweat was rolling from his gray-white hair, down the nearly shaved sides of his head and through his short-cropped beard.

Adina's diaphragm seemed to have completely forgotten its duty to the rest of her body. She was sweat-soaked through and through wearing just the light t-shirt and knee length trousers that left her calves bare above her dusty boots. She collapsed completely onto the ground, not caring about the rough stones that poked her as she rolled onto her back, staring at the burning blue sky, trying to breath.

Asher stood where he was, huffing slightly, but breathing far too easily compared to her. Part of her hated him at that moment for his easy breaths.

She felt the cramp in her guts and her stomach felt like it pushed up. She pitched over onto her front. "I'm gonna be sick!"

"Don't!" He took the few steps to her. "Take deep breaths. You need to learn to control it. You lose moisture and calories by throwing up. Deep breaths, Adina. You can do it."

No, she couldn't. She threw up long and hard, everything they'd eaten an hour ago ending up splashed on the beige rocks around her.

She felt his hand on her back. "It's alright, you're..."

She threw his hand off, angry and frustrated with herself. "Don't! Do that!"

He backed off and she moved away from the puddle of bile and fell back against a rock, then pointed at him. "You said it wouldn't be..." she had to take another breath. "... be as bad."

He smiled at her and squatted down, his trousers pulling tight across his burly thighs and backside, his sculpted belly moving in and out as he breathed. "You'll be alright in a few minutes."

She narrowed her eyes hatefully at him. "Provided I don't die first!" She spat sour tasting bile onto the ground.

He handed her his canteen. She nodded thanking him but couldn't talk. She rinsed her mouth and drank.

"Not too much. We might have run too soon after you ate."

She shook her head. "I don't think it has anything to do with..." She heaved her chest up to get a breath before she could continue. "...when I ate."

He smiled again. "You're probably right."

She closed up the canteen and threw it at his head, then let hers fall back onto the rock. She was already feeling better, the nausea fading.

Bastard.

Half an hour later they'd nearly run up and out of the rift. They were among the concrete foundations of some of the buildings that topped the walls. Her legs felt shaky, but strangely stronger than she expected. She was in some pain, heaving to breathe, but felt... good.

As they rested, Asher studied her eyes intently, a smile growing, pulling his cheeks up.

"What?"

He grinned playfully. "Nothing. Come on."

"We just sat down!"

He pulled her to her feet and then walked to a wall, double his height. He smiled at her again and set his feet facing the wall. Then sprinted at it. With a leap and some quick clambering, he was suddenly on top of it. Adina's mouth hung open. He'd all but run up the vertical face, then sat on top straddling it. "Alright, your turn."

She looked at the wall, then back to him. "I can't climb that! I'm not half cat, half monkey or whatever under earth and sky you are!"

He grinned, brushed his hands off and then leaned down. "Just grab my hand."

She glared at him and his hand, over eight feet off the ground. "I can't reach that!"

He opened his hand emphatically. "Just try." He nodded behind her. "Get a good run and focus on my hand. Like there's nothing else in the world. Just look at my hand. Let your body do the rest."

She put her hands on her hips pacing back and forth, still glaring. He didn't move. She shook her head. "This is stupid." She walked back a few paces.

"Adina, only my hand." He sounded like he was trying to hypnotize her. "Take a deep breath, close your eyes and when you open them, just focus on my hand."

She shook her head, then closed her eyes.

"Only my hand. Deep breaths. Focus," he repeated.

She took a deep, slow breath, the way he'd been teaching her. She pulled the breath in, feeling her ribs push out, filling into her back, down into her belly. She felt her heart slow.

He was still talking, his voice calming her. And as she listened and took a second breath, it was like she'd dove underwater. Everything suddenly felt a little... fuzzy. When she opened her eyes, everything was slightly out of focus. Everything except his hand. It was crystal clear, like it was the only thing that existed in the world.

She dug the ball of her back foot into the gravel, her heart suddenly the only thing in her ears. Her whole body which had felt like a shaking, shuddering mess a moment ago now felt taught, like a twisted rope, desperate to spin loose and release its energy. She pushed off, running as hard as she could, her eyes locked on his hand. She leapt up, her body acting on its own as her foot hit the concrete wall and she pushed off. Then there was a slap!

Her hand was clasped around his wrist and his around hers. His vise-like grip was certain, unwavering. The rest of the world came back into focus. It didn't snap back into focus, but neither did it fade back in. It eased into focus, like a muscle relaxing. She looked down. She hung from Asher's certain grip, the soles of her boots four feet off the ground.