Harrie 01

Harrie 01

So, hey there, I'm Harry and I had the good fortune of never once having to ask anyone who knew me to refer to me as Harrie. That came naturally to everyone and that actually made my early days that much easier, so, thanks everyone. I'm very grateful for having one less burden to have overcome back then.

I'm also very extremely grateful for Capri length pants, skinny jeans and wash faded jeggings since they have become my staple uniform and I've never called out any of my friends for liking anything that I wear, which, LOL, I think they are grateful for that, so, we'll just leave all that right there. Well, I'll close that with I may have just used the word "friends" loosely, but either way, thus far, my life hasn't been too unmanageable for me.

Oh, and since I started to give out praise above to all those who just let me be me, I'm also very grateful that my school had a good size goth crew. They broke the eyeliner barrier during school hours, which I took complete advantage of for the last half of my final year. I mean, obviously, I went with an entirely different color scheme, but hey, if one group can wear makeup, then everyone should be able to, right?

And maybe a few of the goth guys liked my assistance, but I mean, come on, there is an art to applying makeup, even if it's just around the eyes, right? And yep, maybe there were a few weird moments in a few corners, but it actually helped me keep track of a certain couple of people's birthdays.

I mean, guys, right? Their favorite 18th birthday present is their naturally occurring "boing" light switch. But don't take that wrong. I never attended an 18th birthday party. I mean, I'm weird, for sure, but not stupid.

Anyways, moving on, another thing that I manage pretty well is buying and wearing anything that is tagged as "small" or with a corresponding smaller size number and who wouldn't be grateful for that, right? And not to dwell on it, but jeggings are like sliced bread to me since they are a little thicker than standard yoga tights and come in such a wide variety of styles and are quite inexpensive and washable. And by the way, whoever had the bright idea to add that fake zipper the entire leg length along the side of one such variety of jeggings, well, good job. However, I do hope that your next clothing project is why does the zipper have to be fake, hmm? I mean, I have clear plastic clothing storage bags in my closet that have cheap plastic zippers on them, so, what's the hold-up then, hmm?

So, moving on, again, my hair may look unkept at times, but just that's my scraggly uneven end cut style. It's darker and it's at a shoulder split length and sometimes it looks like I wore a headband for about six hours just after washing it, but I like the way it lines my face and splits over my shoulders, so that's me for now.

And as I just mentioned above, I'm a little weird. Well, I may have just used the word "little" loosely, but since you're probably what most people would refer to as being fairly nice, I wouldn't be mad at you if you use words like "quirky" or even "quirky queer" instead of weird.

Unless wearing fishnets under literally everything that I wear between shorts to Capri pants, boot cut and skinny style sacks is just plain old weird. Not under jeggings or tights, of course, since they are like a second skin as it is, but I like even the smallest visibility of the fishnet weaves around my ankles and don't even get me started on having the woven waistband peer above the beltline of whatever high waisted pants or slacks that I might be wearing. That's just one of those givens.

Besides, I think it's weird that some people notice that my ankles area are covered in weave while I'm wearing pants or jeans of a length, so, let's discuss that and keep score then, shall we?

Anyways, I was born in the wrong skin, so that's how I got here.

So, to bring us up to date, here I am, a couple of years beyond the last school bell rang.

I mean, going out, right? I do get out, but I'm more of a every other weekend kind of person. I will and have attended many events or hung out on the Strip, but I'm somewhat selective.

And by selective, I mean, ugh, I have this habit of thinking the worse right from the start. I mean, one weekend I will be out there letting my expressions be known and then the following day, I will surf a couple of threads on Chang and then bury my head in my pillows for a week.

I mean, on one Friday night, I would be enjoying any level of engagement with a couple of side fags on the Strip and then I would go home and surf around the Tranny meme thread on Chang and find out that I was just as much of a faggot as they were for trying to seduce me into sucking them off and then I would bury my head in my pillows for week because I thought people like me got a free pass! Except according to the true story book memes on the Tranny meme Chang boards and threads, I do not get a free pass. And I swear to you, I do not and have never considered myself as a faggot. Thus, I would bury my head in my pillows for week just because I play back when I'm played forward with.

And then maybe I would re-emerge and surf the transitioning threads on Chang, which pretty much imply "then why transition in the first place" or some conflicting information like that.

Oh, and with all due respect to the Admins of Chang, nope, I refuse to surf any of the sissy threads on your website. I mean, pink is not my color and you'll never catch me in a frilly and puffy pink dress and that's that!

Well, I have one "are you mistaking me for your girlfriend" look where my eyelids are heavily shaded in pink, but that's just once a month and requires a hair weave and a headband with a cute little bowtie ribbon on it, but that's it for me in pink! Which, in full disclosure, is a look that I may or may not have copied from a really hot Tranny on Chang's "it is your destiny" hypnotizing thread, which doesn't work, by the way. Although I might add that an hour later, I seem to snap out of it and find myself cleaning house in a frilly maid's uniform, but it's black and white, not pink, so.

Anyways, ahem, here's what else happened recently while I was crying into my pillows because if I kiss and hug it out with a guy, then I have to carry a faggot card in my wallet as opposed to a free pass card.

Oh, and by the way, I mean, what, guys can just jack off and go all "fap, argh, fap, argh, fap, argh" over the filtered selfies that I post and then get a punch hole in their macho card and the planet continues to rotate? I mean, can you say double switch back, double standard, hmm?

Whatever, I guess. Wait, I mean, they leave comments! They explain too much, but they leave an evidence trail right there on my Chang homepage and I'm the faggot? Can you say switch back, flip forward, switch sideways, double standard?

Anyways, here's what I recently missed while I was staring at weird red and white spinning circles on Chang while my head was buried under all four of my bed pillows, which I captured with my laptop camera, so, well, my crying evidence with my butt up in the air has been posted in my selfies folder.

Anyways, hey there, I'm Harrie and I'm seriously considering undergoing a reform program before a scarlet red "A" appears across my chest. But not at the expense of getting off of my other program because I was truly born in the wrong skin and I'm several years into that, so that's not going to happen. And I don't want you to have a scarlet red "A" imprinted across your chest either. I just want our, er, my first real sex to be a true "heat of the moment" thing, that's all. Oh, and with no scarlet red cans of spray paint anywhere in sight.

And it can be behind closed doors, even though, ahem, Chang Admins, ahem, there always seems to be a peep hole in the closed door complete with a peep hole camera! I mean, it's a really cool board and I've totally learned a lot and maybe, just maybe I've already electronically signed a waiver for any future "I lost a bet" or "you took the dare" peep hole captures, but don't expect any "caught dressed" events since I have been dressing for so long, so, well, moving onward with my story then.

As I mentioned earlier, I will go anywhere and do stuff occasionally, you know, when my crying head isn't buried in my bed pillows, but that came with another cost. I mean, far be it from me to know and understand the wonders that are known as a Stumbling Zombie Comic Con, but I do know that the convention attendees must be a forgiving group of people since they themselves are willing to wrap themselves up in old oily garage rags and call it a good night out, right? Oh, but I did know that they were actually going to have a movie theater popcorn machine, so that should be cool.

But here was the problem with that. What I really didn't know was how popular the convention was and that tickets sold out and wouldn't be available at the door and since I spent two weeks scrubbing the scarlet red letter "A" off of my chest for two weeks, I missed out on getting a ticket.

So, that's where my story starts, the Friday night before the convention and there seemed to be three choices. Swindle a ticket out of someone that I knew and go inside of the Zombie convention, bite the bullet and hang out with the others who didn't have a ticket like me behind the Civic Center parking lot fences and deal with that crowd or stay home and moisturize my chest skin because I scrubbed off that faggot scarlet letter with such vigor for two weeks.

And OMG! I'm not a faggot. I just like interacting with people and it's not my fault that I attract guys since I dress and behave like a girl. And nope, for some weird reason, there just doesn't seem to be a I'm innocent thread on Chang.

A married MILF behind closed door peep hole thread, yeah! But a "can we stay in the car tonight because I didn't wear extra leg coverings" thread, nope! Sorry, folks, but tee he, Jasons' mom looks good for 44, right?

Anyways, my story starts with my swindling efforts on the Strip the Friday night before the comic con.

Oh, and by the way, since I know nothing about stagger stepping as a Zombie while extending my arms outward and going all "argh, argh, argh" or something, I had no plans of attending the Stumbling Zombie Comic Con as a Zombie, but rather as a goth Zombie Hunter, LOL, who keeps score on the sidelines. Near the popcorn machine. Dressed as the goth Zombie Hunter. Near the movie theater popcorn machine.

So, did I know how to dress like a goth Zombie Hunter? Not really, but my hair was already a start. And then, since I'm just weird enough to wear an entire array of colorful fishnets under my black Capri jeans, well, I had maroon fishnets and I found the perfect black and purple logo t-shirt at the Logo T-Shirt Shop on the Strip and the perfect fishnet crop top over shirt, all under my very well broken-in black Denim jacket, all with mismatched red and black high tops, one black and one red, I mean, I was almost ready to go. Well, I would be ready to go the next day anyways if I could snag a door ticket.

And of course, since I was hitting the Strip in search of an available ticket without a sexual price tag, which is the price of a scarlet red "A" letter, I knew exactly where to start.

[Quietly slides up next to Faye Maye Raye and whispers "psst" and swishes out three lotto scratchers in a tight fan shape]

"Ahem."

[Has a second fanning of three more lotto scratchers ready to swish out, so, second swish]

"Well, you didn't hear this from me, Harrie, but your best friend, Dulley and I use the phrase "best friend" loosely, has been waiting for a moment like this so you have to beg and grumble before him for the ticket that he bought just for you in advance and my evidence that he is so hell bent on getting you into a sexual situation is that he is wearing a university logo t-shirt tonight from the next state over and to him, a crimson red "A" is close enough to a scarlet red "A" and that's my warning to you, Harrie! It will be a huge mistake on your part to even engage with Dulley for his extra ticket. Well, maybe not huge like Mrs. Bentley, but still, you just watch yourself, Harrie!"

"(Giggles)"

"Anyways, so, Harrie?"

[Oh, Harrie has walked this sidewalk before, so, swish, a third and final fanning of lotto scratchers]

"Alright, well, I can't believe you're actually going to the Stumbling Zombie Comic Con, Harrie, but go see Benny down by the Step Ladder Shop and tell him that Faye Maye Raye sent you and bring me back a new pair of boots please and thank you."

Oh, that tracks, since the Black Boots Shop is halfway in between, so.

"Well, wait, Harrie, I mean, we, er, some of us should have paid you a welfare check since you've been MIA for a couple of weekends from the Strip, so, I mean, is everything alright then, hmm?"

"Oh, Faye Maye Raye, I mean, I found out that I have to carry a tattoo that says I'm a faggot if I engage back with someone, so I stayed home crying for a couple weeks, so?"

"OMG! Harrie, don't tell me, you found that out from some stupid meme page, right? And don't tell me even more that then you surfed the "then what's the point of transitioning" page and felt better, right? That stuff isn't real, Harrie! But, tee he, my neighbor has offered to cut my grass if you clean my house in just a bikini next Saturday afternoon, tee he, here, glance at my phone screen, sweetie."

[Two weird swirling circles, Harrie's eyes follow suit with the weird spinning and twirling]

Hah! Well, I didn't answer her because I was on a mission! But I made a mental note to myself that at least someone thought about a welfare check, even if it was two weeks after I went missing.

Also, what? Which bikini? What?

Or back to my Stumbling Zombie Comic Con ticket mission for short.

"So, um, hey, Benny, so, er, hi."

"Harrie! Where have you been, huh? Some people were worried that you got all tied up with the weird way you wear fishnets under literally everything you wear and then died from starvation because you couldn't get yourself out of the net trap. Which, now that I've said that out loud, tee he, I suppose someone probably should have stopped by for a welfare check, so, well, hey Harrie, what can I do for you then, huh?"

"Benny, listen, wait, hey there, hey, Buster, um, Benny, back to you, um, listen, I didn't realize that the Stumbling Zombie Comic Con was so popular and that one needed to get tickets far in advance, so, I mean, how can you help me with that, hmm?"

Well, I mean, apparently, I said something that upset Buster because he immediately approached me and started to give me a police style pat down!

[Pat down, slide hands, pat down, slide hands, pat down, pat, pat, pat]

"Ahem! Buster! At least buy me a Smoothie first or something!"

"Oh, tee he, sorry, Harrie, but I had to make sure that you weren't hiding a can of scarlet red spray paint under your shirt, so, tee he, he's clean, Benny."

Seriously, a can of spray paint? Hiding inside of a pair of painted on ankle jeans? Or even under a crop top t-shirt?

"(Ahem, you owe me a Smoothie) anyways, can you help me out or not, Benny? The show is tomorrow night, so?"

"Well, well, well, Harrie, our own Harrie who doesn't understand that a few of his old friends have been waiting for the right moment, a prime opportunity, to put you in a weird situation then, huh? I'll keep my eyes and ears open for you, Harrie, but you just watch how you approach your dear old friend, Dulley for a ticket to a mouth opening ball gag, I mean, to the convention, so, don't be shy about making your plea with us in the alley access walkway then."

I've got to start reading other stuff on Chang! And get new friends! And get rocket powered high tops! I mean, I could see where things were going with Benny and Buster, so, I clicked my rubber heels together and trotted down the Strip.

Also, I could see where a police style pat down could play a role in the bedroom. Not that I have been in the bedroom like that. Things haven't gone that fag for me yet, so.

"Hey, hey, hey, Harrie, where are you trotting off to, huh? There's a speed limit on the sidewalk of the Strip, you know, so?"

"Juice, not now, I'm on a mission to be a Zombie Hunter on the side lines tomorrow night and I need a ticket and I'm running out of time!"

Hmm, Jerome, right? Like 80 proof Juice, not like a lunch juice box, so.

"[Hic] well, well [hic], well, what [hic] would my [hic] step sister, Tara, say about all this then, huh [hic], Harrie?"

"Oh, Juice, I'm pretty sure that the first thing Tara would say is to lay off of the juice a little bit because regardless of what your alcohol induced brain thinks, she is not the heavens answers to your prayers. Nobody up there is going to drop a hot woman down on your family's couch and you're just lucky that you pass out because a high-end stiletto heel would pierce your chest! And the second thing that Tara might say is that if you have an extra ticket to the Stumbling Zombie Comic Con in your pocket, then it should be in my pocket, so?"

"[Hic], woo, woo [hic], woo, well, what [swig], er, how many times have we had sex, [hic] Harrie?"

"Um, five, five times, Juice. I was your faggot sex partner five times, which means you fagged me five times. You blew up my mouth up three times and then had me the other way twice, Juice, so?"

Zero, folks, zero. I would still be drunk if I had taken care of Juice with my mouth, so. Oh, and zero the other way too, for everybody.

"[Hic] that's [swig] ten times then, Harrie!"

[The wobbly footed Juice peeks down his shirt for a scarlet red "A" letter and only finds chest hair]

But he let his jacket open up while he was looking, which allowed me to peek what looked like event tickets to me in his inside pocket, so.

"[Tapping toe] so, Juice, did I earn a ticket to the convention or what, hmm? Five times! I mean, it's five times minus five times, but still, five plus five equals ten, so?"

You see, folks, this is why I always fan out my intel payment lotto scratchers for Faye Maye Raye. To make sure that it's clear and obvious that I'm handing off multiple scratchers and not two or three lined up like they were stuck together.

[Whips out two tickets, which were lined up perfectly like it was one ticket, hic]

"[Extends the tickets and then pulls back, hic] I was good, right, Harrie [hic]? All ten [swig] times, right?"

"Oh, baby, oh baby, oh baby, plus seven more, all minus ten, Juice, so?"

[Snatches the tickets and prepares to split]

And then I realized that it was three tickets and I really needed rocket powered high tops! I mean, after I scribbled "faggot" on the back of his hand with a Sharpie. But that was his fault since he also had a Sharpie in his inside pocket, so. And then I ran!

"Oops, oops, there you are, Harrie and seemingly in such a hurry, so, slow it down a little bit."

[High tops are good for stopping on a dime]

"OMG, Dulley, my oldest friend who has been running his mouth about ways to trick me into accepting an extra ticket to the Stumbling Zombie Comic Con, so, what do you want then, hmm? I'm on a mission to finish my mission, so, make it quick."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Harrie, you seriously need to stop believing what you see and read on Chang! And don't even get me started on what your secret intel spy, Faye Maye Raye, tosses out there, so?"

"Well, you've always been a pretty good friend to me, Dulley, over the years and I'd prefer to protect you from being labelled as a faggot for hip bumping with me in the dark, so?"

"OMG! OMG, meme pages are created by guys like Hank who lives in his grandma's basement and create hypnotizing memes with the hopes of training people like you to giving into everyone for sex so he has a chance at having sex! Let me look closely into your eyes, Harrie."