Having Fun with Dycke and Payne Ch. 07

Bob said, "Dycke, on our way to Atlanta, Marti told me not to worry, that she had me covered. I was sitting here thinking and I cannot remember Marti saying one word from the time we entered the jewelry store, until now. Do you?"

Dycke thought about it for a moment and said to Bob, "It would be much safer for both of us if I answered this question when we are outside of this aircraft. However, knowing that she will come after me anyhow, you are correct. Marti has not said one word to help you buy her friend the ring she will be wearing for the rest of her life."

Bob said, "I wish I had a picture of what she looked like at the store."

Marti said, "If you took pictures of me with your cell phone, delete them, or you are dead."

"Marti, I would love to say I did take pictures, but I was too interested in the gems to think about anything else."

"You are not going to make Fiona retire, are you, Bob?"

"How quickly do you want to see our marriage dissolved, Marti? Didn't she tell you the six things she hates about me the most? "

"Well, I know one of them was that you were pushy. Another one was that you were a man and I know she hates pushy men. Is that what you were talking about, Bob?"

"Yes, those will do for starters. But we are going to get along like a room filled with gasoline and a lighted match. We are going to coexist peacefully, until some idiot introduces oxygen into the equation."

"We are home guys. Coach, before you leave, make sure my mom has all your contact information. I have a feeling, there are going to be some deliveries at your training facility, soon."

Marti opened the front door to see a smiling Desiree standing there waiting for her. Desiree asked, "Did you see it? What does it look like? What shape is it? How big is it? How much did it cost? Will she like it? Will she say yes? Is his nameShortbecause hisDickis as tall as the Eiffel Tower?"

Marti laughed and said, "Easy, child, easy, all in good time. First, has Steve done what you told him to do?"

Desiree reported that when she last spoke to Alletta, Steve was running Fiona all over his campus looking for books he had lent to other students. While doing so, he bumped into a friend of Payne's, who was involved in a very unpleasant incident earlier this year. Steve asked Fiona if he could speak to this young woman, alone, for a few minutes because he did not want to brush her off. After explaining a few of the details to Fiona, she agreed. When Steve returned five minutes later, he told Fiona that the young lady's name was Cynthia Morgan, and that he would be calling her, at home, over the weekend."

Bacillica walked by the living room and saw the two women standing there and said, "Why is my son paying you? Get to work!"

Marti and Desiree looked at her with stunned faces. Bacillica looked straight back at them and said, "Come on, girls there is a party to plan for! You have no idea what I have in store for Fiona and Bob on Friday night! Thank goodness my son is over eighteen. Otherwise, I would have to send him home before midnight."

Desiree looked at Bacillica and said, "Why, what happens at midnight?"

Marti looked at her and said, "Little girl, if you have to ask, I would have to send you home, too!"

Desiree looked at both older women and said, "OOOOh!"

Marti said, "Close your mouth, little girl."

34. Lord of the Ring

Bob's apartment had changed from a staid bachelor pad into an engagement party venue, put together by three evil women, and two apprentice elves in a matter of a few days. As he walked around his apartment, Bob could not discern where one item of his was. Everything was covered with decorative paper and party favors the likes of which should have taken an army a week. He was sure the world would be a better, more efficient place, if women ran it.

He decided that if he was going to get any rest prior to meeting Fiona and tonight's match, he was going to have to sleep in his gym. When he arrived there, there were nearly 60 chairs lining the edges of the mats, with ribbons and bows and girly stuff all around the perimeter. The women even had the mats cleaned. He walked to the center of the room, lay down, hoping to be left alone with his thoughts. As soon as his head hit the mat, it shot back up. He ran for the service elevator and back up to his apartment. He needed to find the engagement ring. It was in the side board of the dining room and the dining room was no longer in the apartment. He was panic-stricken and he had no way to contact any of the women who had taken the apartment apart. He called Dycke on his cell and begged Dycke to have Bacillica call him.

Dycke put his mother on the phone and she asked Bob, "What is the matter?"

Bob said to Bacillica, "The ring is in the side board and the side board is not in the apartment."

Bacillica laughed and said, "Do you think we would let a little thing like that spoiled this evening's fun? The ring is the center of attention and it will have aplace of honor for this evening's festivities. Marti has the ring secured and it will be there this evening for you and Fiona to fight for."

"You scared me to death, Bacillica, when I could not find that ring. I am frightened enough of Fiona not liking it because she barely likes me."

"Bob, she loves you to death."

"That is exactly my point, Bacillica, the death part that is."

"Bob, you worry too much."

Bob knew he would never get any sleep now, so he went to get a haircut and walk around the neighborhood.

At nine o'clock, men and women in their Sunday best started arriving at the gym, where only healthy foods and drinks were served. At nine forty-five, the two combatants arrived and started greeting their guests. Angus McFarland had made several phone calls and friends of Bob's from the local area had come to support him. On the other side of the ledger, for each of Dycke's and Payne's family members that were there, and equal amount of protective service agents were there, also. It was a full and rowdy house.

Piker asked Dycke, "How did you get Steve to come? What did you do, bribe him?"

"Yes, dad, I did."

"Dycke, you cannot go around bribing everyone."

"That is what I thought dad, until Steve whined that I got a new airplane; Payne got a diamond ring; his dad got one million dollars; my dad got one million dollars; I graduated from high school early; my school is getting a brand-new track facility; and every one of our secret agents got a car of their choice. He then complained that all he got was Desiree! He said that all she has done for him so far was to cause him to lose his girlfriend. He claims that she hangs on his arm and will not let him talk to any of the girls on campus; that she acts like his warden and makes sure all he does is go to school, to the library, to track practice and then, directly, home. He thinks everyone got something nice, except him."

Dycke continued with his story, "I asked Steve what he wanted that you would let him keep, and he said that he wants a new car."

"I said okay, but did not make it easy on him, however. I told him the better his grades, the better the car. I told him so far, he was going to get a Chevy Aero."

Piker nearly bit his tongue when Dycke said that because he was chewing on a granola bar and he started laughing.

The lights of the gym we turned down at ten minutes after ten and the combatants stood on either side of Marti. She let those in attendance know the following: There are no rules. If Fiona wins, the ring is hers and if she wants she can ask Bob if he wants to marry her. If Bob wins, it is his choice: He may choose to give it to Fiona and tell her she is his whether she likes it or not and he can return the ring to the store.

Fiona stood there glowing red as the crowd roared with laughter and applause. They started chanting:The Ring. The Ring. The Ring. The Ring.

Bob looked at Marti and said, "Look what you did to me. She is madder than a bull in Pamplona."

Marti responded, "It is all in good sport, Bob. She wants that ring, even if she has to maim you to get it, if you prove that you can fairly beat her in your third matchup, it will be easier on both of you. If she wins, she will have to ask you to marry her. It is a win-win situation."

As Marti finished saying that, the box containing the engagement ring was lowered from the ceiling to a height of twelve feet, directly above the center of the room. Marti pointed out the prize to both the contestants and the audience. Then, she raised her hands and the house quieted down. She pointed to Fiona and Bob. They bowed to each other, and said, "Fight!"

Fiona went straight in for the kill, using the fury of Marti's words to propel her forward. Her blows to his arms and chest and sides were furious, but Bob saw in her attack that she was being careless, and immediately did a side-step round house jump kick, that he aimed at the back of her neck, but hit her in the center of her shoulders, throwing her across the ring.

Fiona screamed, furiously, at herself. She backed her attack down to amore methodical and dangerous level. Every twenty punches and kicks she was throwing, Bob was throwing or kicking once or twice. However, his were landing in areas that were causing her pain and both she and he knew it.

The amateurs in the crowd would have wagered that she was ahead, if this match was scored by points. The professionals, in the crowd, knew better.

Fiona decided to back down another notch and forced Bob to take the offensive. Bob grinned at her and whispered to her as he took her into a Judo hold, "It is about time you got smart."

Fiona responded, "Don't you tell me what to do!"

"Yes wife!" As soon as, the words were out of his mouth, he rolled her over his hip and smashed her down on her back, trying for pin.

With her height and weight advantage, Fiona had no problem breaking this hold and reversing it. There was only one minor problem. During the transition, Bob's right-hand had accidentally slid inside the jacket of her gi, into her pants and his fingers were now covering her vagina.

Under normal circumstances, an opponent would remove his or her hand, immediately. However, Bob liked the position he was in. He was under Fiona and in no peril of being pinned. Her breast was right above his mouth and his fingers were diddling her. Under the roar of the crowd, Bob said to her, "Do you give?"

"You son of a bitch, remove your hand."

Bob pressed his thumb on her clit and said, "Remember, there are no rules." And he moved his fingers into her and pressed his thumb on her clit even harder. Fiona had to fight not to be distracted by what his fingers were doing to her.

Finally, in desperation, Fiona had to let him go. The crowd was stunned at this turn of events. When Marti saw Bob licking his fingers and yelled out, "Is that health food?"

Most of her associates figured out what had happened and a peal of laughter went through the audience. Fiona flashed bright red, again and started another assault on Bob's body. Twenty minutes had passed, with no sign that either of the two was willing to admit that they were equals, when fate took firm hold of the situation.

Six armed hoodlums saw 50 or so well dressed men and women enter the karate studio and thought that it was the site of an easy score. They waited outside until they were sure everyone was engrossed in the action taking place on the mats. The leader opened the door, fired two shots into the ceiling and yelled that it was a stick-up, as he and his companions took up positions in the center of the room. Two of them had guns on Bob and Fiona. The other four had their guns pointed at each corner of the room. Empty your pockets and take off all your jewelry and put it in this plastic bag.

They could not understand why they were being laughed at.

One of the guests asked her, "Bacillica was this your idea, too?"

Bacillica said, "As evil as Marti and Alletta think my mind is, not even I would have thought to put this esteemed audience into this position. So, ladies and gentlemen, you have two choices, they have guns and they have made a demand for your money and jewelry. What are your answers?"

"In an instant, the youths were looking back at twenty high-powered weapons. The two that were holding their weapons on Fiona and Bob had had their shoulders dislocated by Fiona and Bob, and were now writhing in pain. The other four just stood there stunned and decided to drop their guns to the floor and raise their hands in surrender.

When the police finished taking statements, they were asked to stay for the after-party, because it was decided that the match was a draw. The only thing to be done now was to get the ring, which was left up to Bob, and Fiona to figure out.

They did the math and his five foot three inches and her five foot eight inches might just do it, if he stood on her shoulders. Bob would not hear of it, and the fighting and the laughter started, again.

Fiona said angrily, "I weigh more than you do. I am taller than you are, and I am younger than you are. You get up on my shoulders, or I will break your neck."

Bob replied, "You have already tried that four times and have failed miserably. I beat you, legally, two out of three and tonight was a draw. It was out of the goodness of my heart that I let Marti talk me into tonight. If you want that ring, get on my shoulders."

The guests started chanting, "Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight!"

Marti came over to the two of them and said, "It is time for your first compromise. Which one of you is going to be the bigger person? Fiona, I have known you since you were fourteen years old and you were not even dry behind the ears yet. Do not make me smack you. Bob, I read your file and I know what you went through. It is probably tough for you to even bend your knee to someone else's opinion, let alone set yours aside. You can go back and live your solitary lifestyle or you can make room for someone who will enrich it. Which mountain is going to move first?"

Bob looked at Fiona and said, "I will stand on your shoulders."

Fiona looked at Bob and said, "No. I will stand on yours."

Marti said, "Stop. That was good. You both made nice. Now get the fucking ring!" The crowd roared again, as the couple acted like acrobats and Bob got up on Fiona's shoulders and stretched to get the ring box. It was just out of reach."

Bob yelled down to Fiona and asked her to move back a few steps.

She asked, "What are you going to do?"

Bob said, "I am going to leap from your shoulder and grabbed the box and land on the floor and do a forward roll."

Fiona asked the audience if there a Justice of the Peace here? I want to get married so I can collect his insurance money and keep his property.

Bob yelled down to Fiona, "I told you I always wanted to do the high jump, and this is as high as I have ever been."

Fiona said, "Break a leg, Bob, but if you do, I swear I will break the other one."

Fiona was tiring, even though she found Bob's weight to be easy to handle. She moved back a little more and said, "Bob, when you are ready, I will give you amoving start."

He yelled, "Go!"

Fiona took two quick steps forward and pushed Bob's feet from her shoulders. She felt his weight lift from her body. She looked up to see him flying into the air. He grabbed the box, tucked his body into a ball and he landed and rolled forward, as graceful as any eighteen-year-old gymnast she had ever seen. Bob stood up to a rousing ovation, while holding the box, high, in his hand. She ran over to him and kissed him and asked if he was alright.

He said that he was fine.

"The Ring. The Ring. The Ring."

Bob discarded the clear box and extracted the ring box, knelt down on one knee and asked Fiona as he opened the box, "Will you please marry me and make my life bearable?"

Fiona heard what Bob said, but she could not speak. Marti came over to her to try to help her answer the question but when she saw the ring, she could not speak either. Finally, it was up to Dycke to help his coach out of this situation. He went over and whispered into Fiona's ear, "Answer the question."

Fiona said dumbly, "What question? Oh! Yes. Absolutely, no problem, where, when." Bob took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her ring finger, and kissed her and she kissed him back, devotedly. He was then, summarily, shoved out of the way by every woman in the place wanting to see, not Fiona, but the ring. The decibel level in the room was unbearable, so the men tried to escaped up to Bob's apartment, where the fun was about to begin.

Marti's drill sergeant voice rang over the crowd one more time. She announced that real food was being served and to be enjoyed in Bob's apartment on the twelfth floor and that the guests could either ride in the service elevator or in the main elevator in front. Or, for the hardy ones, it was a mere twelve floor walk-up. Entertainment and music was, also, waiting for the partiers.

Dycke told his mother that he and Steve were going back home to talk and that she and the others should have a good time, at the party. They did not want to be there and be an inhibiting factor.

Bacillica kissed her son and said, "When you are older, I will throw one of these for you."

35. The X-Rated Engagement Party

As everyone filed in to Bob's apartment, bare chested ladies and jockstrap-clothed men had drinks and hors d'oeuvres at the ready. Health food was no longer allowed. This was fun food and there was lots of it. A four piece band was playing smooth jazz melodies, and merriment was the order of the evening.

The tenants on the eleventh floor had been advised of the late-night party and if they wished they could attend and if not, they could put up with their landlord's noise for one night. Bob showered and dressed, quickly, to join his friends and waited for his bride-to-be and the ladies to join them. When they did, and the ladies saw the mode of dress of the attendants, the mood of the party escalated exponentially.

When Fiona arrived, she said to Bob, "I need your help, immediately."

She took her carry-all and headed for the bathroom to shower and change. After she locked the door, she grabbed Bob by the head, and kissed him. She pointed to her ring and said to him that this was the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen. Bob looked at it and it did not even resemble what he had picked out in the store. The center stone was correct, but the gemologist had changed the setting and alternately put rubies and sapphires around the main stone. Bob thought each princess cut stone had to be 1/4 carat each and he realized at that moment, he did not even look at what the estimated value of the ring was.

Fiona told Bob that he did not have to spend all that money on her to prove to her that he loved her. She knew it in her heart and she loved him and would stay with him for as long as he wanted her. She would never try to tie him down or change him, unless it was for the better.

As soon as she said that last part, Bob's head popped up and looked her in the eye and saw the twinkle in it.

Fiona said, "I need to get laid, Bob, no fooling around or Zen bullshit, one, quick, good old-fashioned fuck." Then she headed for the shower, as they both stripped.

Bob turned on the shower and got in as Fiona and he put the chair behind her and she yelled "No!"

Bob looked at her, menacingly, and she sat down. He wet her hair and began to wash it and her ears, her neck, her back, all the way to the cheeks of her ass. He started on her front, at her collar bone, stopping to massage her breasts and nipples. He continued downward and played with her belly-button and finally reached her pussy, where, for lack of a better description, she relaxed. He ordered her stand, and removed the chair from behind her. He grabbed her around her waist, forcing her hands against the front wall of the shower and moved her legs apart and back. He pushed a button and a wall of water fell on Fiona's head, rinsing her hair, face and body of all the soap that was on it. Bob hit another button and water hit Fiona in the center of her abdomen. Bob spread Fiona's legs as wide as he could and adjusted nozzle. When it was perfectly positioned, he increased the water pressure and changed it from a steady stream to a pulse. It hit Fiona directly on her clit and up into her vagina. Fiona screamed as though she had been hit by an electrical shock. Then, Bob inserted to fingers into her pussy and played with that rough patch on top lining, until Fiona had her first and then second orgasm. She begged Bob to turn the water off. He said to her, "Say please."