Helo Pilot

Mel looked at Marissa and couldn't believe his eyes. She wasn't sure why he was looking to her left and right, but when he spoke she understood.

"There's not a drop of water or a speck or dirt on that white sweater of yours," he said with a shake of his head.

She looked down and realized the only water she'd 'taken on' was around the bottom of her pant legs and her shoes.

"No, I'm okay," Nathan finally said in response to her question.

He looked at Marissa, and with the utmost of concern asked, "Are you?"

"I'm fine, Nathan. But you're going to have to go home and change. You're...soaked!"

Mel was still standing there shaking his head.

"You were right, young lady. Nathan is a gentleman. I still can't believe how fast that all happened and that both of you are all right."

"It wasn't that big of a deal, Mel," Nathan told him. "I knew I had quit a bit of clearance between myself and the car. I just didn't want Marissa taking the brunt of that cold, dirty water."

"Well, see for yourself," he said, pointing to her. "Not a spot anywhere."

They shook hands one more time before Mel crushed out the butt and went back inside.

"I guess lunch will have to wait," Nathan said with a sheepish smile, his clothes and the back of his short, dark hair a soaking-wet mess.

"I'll live," she said with a sweet smile. "And...thank you, Nathan."

"My pleasure. I'm just glad you're okay," he told her.

She smiled not because what he said was 'goofy'. She smiled because she could see he meant it. It wouldn't have harmed her to get wet, but he cared enough to make sure she didn't knowing full well he'd get soaked. In other words, his act was the epitome of gentlemanly behavior, and the significance of it deepened whatever feelings she'd been experiencing.

"Do you have a blanket or anything in your car?" she asked. "You're dripping all over the place."

"Um...I'm not sure. Let me check real quick."

There was an old towel folded up in the trunk, and Nathan pulled it out.

"I can sit on this, but my shirt is just drenched, too."

"Then the obvious solution is to take your shirt off and sit on the towel, right?" she suggested with a happy smile.

"I can't just take my shirt off in the middle of town," Nathan told her.

"And why not?" Marissa asked him. "You're a guy, and your shirt is soaking wet. The only other alternatives are to soak the cloth seats or sit on my coat."

"No, I'm not doing that to your coat," he told her.

"Then...off with it!" she said with another smile, as she touched the dry part of his shirt in front.

He looked around then looked at her then looked around again.

"Oh, for heaven's sakes, Nathan. Just take your shirt off and get in the car!" she told him with a laugh.

He opened his door, set the towel down, then quickly stripped off the shirt and tossed it on the rubber mat in front of the driver's seat and got in. Only after Marissa sat down did he realize he hadn't opened her door.

"Sorry," he said when she looked at him.

She laughed a genuine laugh for the first time Nathan could remember then told him, "I can open my own doors, you know."

He smiled at her, started the car, then said, "I know, but not when you're with me."

As he pulled into traffic, Marissa found herself unable to avoid staring at his hard, young body, and doing so stirred up even more feelings; feelings she hadn't experienced since Eric was alive.

His chest was thick and his arms and shoulders were nicely muscled without the grisly look of bodybuilders on magazine covers, something she'd never found attractive. However awkward it felt to admit it, there was no denying Nathan Simmons was very attractive, and Marissa realized whatever was going on was much more than just the physical, which, by all appearances, was very pleasant to look at.

By the time he straightened out the car, she was looking straight ahead, and Nathan had no idea she'd been staring, let alone what she'd been thinking.

When they pulled into his parents' driveway, Andrea was watching from her bedroom window where she'd been texting with her best friend, Courtney, since her brother left.

"OMG! Gotta go. Nathan just drove up, and he's naked!"

Andrea threw her phone on the bed and ran downstairs and out the door just as Nathan was getting out.

"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked, nearly crying at the thought of something happening to the only family she had left.

"Tis but a flesh wound," he said in his best British accent.

Andrea wasn't a Monty Python fan, so she had no idea what he meant.

Marissa was now out of the car and said, "Your brother sacrificed himself for me."

Andrea looked at her, and Marissa smiled before turning back to her brother who was picking up his wet clothes from the floor of the car.

"Someone tell me what happened!" Andrea demanded.

"There's nothing much to tell. A car was coming, there was a huge amount of standing water by the curb, and it was either this or let Marissa get soaked. No big deal."

Marissa was on Andrea's other side and said loudly enough for Nathan to hear, "Your brother's just being modest. It was a very big deal to me."

"So you saved a damsel in distress then," Andrea said as they went inside.

"No, but I did manage to keep her dry," he said to his sister as he smiled at Marissa.

"I'm very grateful, Nathan, no matter what happened," Marissa let him know.

"That's just one more reason I say I have the best brother in the whole world," Andrea told her. "And I'm so glad you're both okay."

"We are, but I need to go change," Nathan told her.

"I can get lunch ready for you," Marissa offered with a smile.

"Let me help you," Andrea told her immediately.

"Are you sure? I said I'd take you to lunch, and the offer still stands. Both of you, by the way."

"I think you've done more than enough for me for one day, Nathan," Marissa told him as she smiled happily at him as Andrea let him know she still wasn't very hungry.

"All right. Then I'll be back in a jiff."

As the 'girls' looked for something to make, Marissa said, "You really do have a wonderful brother."

"It's funny, but even before the accident, I always told people that. And ever since, he's been the only thing keeping from losing it."

Marissa stopped what she was doing, and held out her arms and gave Andrea a hug.

"I understand, Andrea. Nathan is a special guy, and since we reconnected, he's...he's made me feel, I don't know, alive again or something."

As they separated, Andrea said, "I totally get that. Nathan has a way of making everyone feel good."

Marissa felt herself tearing up then said, "I agree. I've had the hardest time accepting my life without Eric, but Nathan has...I don't know...given me a feeling of...hope."

Andrea wasn't being nosy, she was simply curious.

"Do you—like my brother?" she asked politely.

"Well, sure. How could I not?" Marissa said sweetly. "It's pretty much impossible not to like him."

"Yes, but...do you...like him?" she asked again, emphasizing the word 'like' this time.

"What? As in...like him? Like...a boyfriend, like him?" Marissa asked with what sounded like real incredulity.

"Well, yeah. I just thought maybe, you know, the two of you could be more than just friends and stuff."

"Oh, Andrea. Honey. No. I...I was his teacher. And I'm...I'm ancient," she said gently with a smile, even though she'd secretly wondered that very thing herself just on the ride back home.

"You're not...old!" Andrea insisted. "You're...beautiful!"

"Ah! Thank you so much! That is so sweet of you to say, but I'm...34 years old, and Nathan is what? Twenty-one or two?"

"He's 21, but he's like...so much older. You see that, right?" she said as though she was trying to persuade Marissa it was no big deal.

"Andrea. Honey. Listen," Marissa said as she took the younger girl's hand.

"You just lost your parents. And you love your brother, so you want what's best for him. And honestly? If he was say...ten years older...I'd definitely let him know I'm interested. Between you and me? He's the only guy...the only...man...who's made me feel like this since I lost my husband. But even then, he's...the two of you...are moving away. So while I'll admit I could very easily have feelings for him—if things were different—it...it just isn't meant to be."

She raised her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head thens said, "Okay?"

Now Andrea had tears welling up in her eyes as she said, "I guess."

"Oh, come here!" Marissa said again as she pulled the emotional teenage girl close for another hug.

Neither of them heard Nathan come back downstairs, and he nearly called out to them as he hit the bottom step. But he'd heard voices and didn't want to interrupt, so he continued walking, his socks not making a sound on the floor, and stopped just as he heard Marissa telling his sister she was ancient.

He waited a good ten seconds after the hug ended before walking in. When he did, he smiled as though he didn't know a thing and asked, "So what's cookin'?"

"Sorry. Nothing yet," Marissa told him. "Andrea and I were talking, and we kind of lost track of time."

"Anything serious?" he asked, looking at both of them twice but still smiling.

"No. Nothing important. Just girl talk," Marissa assured him.

"Oh, okay. Well, let's see what we can dig up in here then," he said as he moved toward the refrigerator.

"Ah, ah. No, sir. You go sit down, and we'll get something together. Right, Andrea?"

"That's right. Yes, we will," she said trying to smile for the benefit of her brother, but again on the verge of crying.

"All right. But I could get used to this, you know? This having two beautiful ladies waiting on me thing," he teased while looking right at Marissa.

"Ha! Don't!" she told him with a smile of her own.

"No, don't get used to anything. And never, ever hope for anything!" Andrea said before bursting into tears and running upstairs.

"What was that all about?" Nathan asked once his sister was done storming up the stairs.

Marissa didn't say anything at first, but felt she had an obligation to explain, even though she felt like she was somehow betraying Andrea's confidence.

"Can we talk?" she finally said.

"Sure. Did you want to sit down?"

"No. That's okay. I just want to let you know what we talked about and why she's so upset."

Nathan nodded then sat on a barstool and waited for her to explain as though he had no idea what she might say.

Marissa sat one stool away then turned toward him.

"Please don't be upset with Andrea, okay?" she began.

"Okay. I promise I won't," Nathan told her.

"You have to keep in mind she's so much younger than you, so she can't have the same adult perspective on some things that you or I are capable of having."

Nathan didn't reply. He just sat there staring at her taking in how utterly beautiful she was to him.

"Evidently, Mel isn't the only one with the notion that, you know, that you and I are...more than just friends," Marissa finally got around to saying.

"I'm not sure I follow," Nathan told her.

"While you were upstairs, she asked me if...she wanted to know...if I...like you."

"I hope the answer was 'yes' or at least that you don't hate me," he said without any hint of facial expression.

"Of course," Marissa replied.

"So...you do like me?" Nathan asked, suddenly enjoying his secret knowledge.

"Of course I do," she told him with a look that said 'you have to be kidding, right?'

"Oh, good. Because I like you, too."

Marissa blinked twice as she shook her head slightly indicating confusion.

"I don't understand," she said.

"What? That I like you?" he asked, his eyebrows raised high.

"No. I mean... Hold on. I'm not sure we're on the same page here."

"So you don't like me?" he asked with the same facial expression.

"Nathan. Will you stop?" she pleaded.

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"Thank you."

Marissa took a deep breath then told him, "What she was asking was whether I like you as more than a friend."

"Ohhh. Okay," Nathan replied as he nodded slightly a couple of times. "And you told her...?"

"Well, I told her...the truth."

"Which is?"

"Nathan. What is it with you? I'm trying to explain something important to you about your sister, and you're either suddenly very...dense...or you're having fun at my expense."

Nathan looked down for a moment then back up at Marissa before he said, "Sorry. I kind of owe you an apology."

"Thank you," she replied before furrowing her brow and asking, "for what?"

"I kind of overheard your conversation with Andi."

Marissa's eyes began opening wide, her lips parted, but no words came out.

"It wasn't intentional. It only took a few seconds to throw on some dry clothes so I came downstairs and heard you talking. I stopped and when I realized what you were talking about, I...I couldn't move. I know it was wrong, but I felt like my feet were in quicksand or something."

He was a little surprised she wasn't upset, but what she said surprised him even more.

"Oh, okay. So then you understand how hard it was to tell her the answer is 'no' when she obviously had her hopes up for reasons I can't imagine. I mean, think about it. Me and you? Former teacher and student? Talk about...ridiculous, right?"

Marissa finally smiled as she finished talking, but Nathan didn't smile back.

"Why is that so ridiculous?" he asked quietly, in his rich, baritone voice.

Caught completely off guard, Marissa shook her head again, sat up a little straighter then asked, "What? What did you just say?"

"I asked you why that would be...ridiculous," he repeated.

"Nathan. Isn't that obvious? Isn't it...self-evident?" she said, her eyebrows now raised high.

"I don't know. Is it?" he asked, turning it back around on her.

"Okay, I'm...very confused," she replied as she broke eye contact.

"Maybe it isn't so...ridiculous," he said rather softly.

"Nathan. Be real. You...you know it is."

"I do?" he asked as he kind of tilted his head to get her to look back at him.

It took several more seconds, but she slowly raised her eyes and looked at him as he spoke.

"I heard you mention our ages, and that's a cold, hard fact. But I'm not sure I agree with the conclusion you seem to have reached about it."

"How can you possibly disagree?" she asked, as she realized what he was saying.

"It's only a concern, and not even a big one unless we make it one, right? he told her with a smile. "I meant it when I said I like you, Marissa. I just meant it in the 'more than just friends' kind of way."

She went to speak, but Nathan leaned her way then said, "Even before I overheard what you said to Andi, I knew I had feelings for you."

Marissa's heart was beating fast as she sat there unable to speak.

"I also thought there was some...reciprocity...on your part. And after hearing what you said—that were I older how you might be interested in me as more than a friend—I felt reasonably confident you at least have some kind of feelings for me."

He was staring at her so intently, she felt like he was somehow looking into her very soul as he asked, "So...do you?"

At least ten seconds passed before she tried to answer.

"I think the answer to your question is academic," she said very quietly.

"Because?" he asked.

"Because even if I were to...have feelings for you...you're leaving next month, and I'm staying. So...it's academic."

"So you're saying that even though you do have feelings for me, you won't allow yourself to explore them because I'm moving?"

"I...I didn't actually say I have feelings for you, Nathan," she said even more quietly than before.

He stood up then moved to the barstool between them then once again waited for her to look at him.

"So...do you?" he asked as he slowly reached up and brushed back her pretty blonde hair.

"Nathan. Please..." she whispered very quietly.

"Marissa? Please," he whispered back. "Don't close the door before you even find out what's behind it."

"I...I can't. I can't even look," she said, unable to even look at him.

"What would happen if you just...tried?"

"I don't want to get hurt, Nathan. I can't afford to let myself have feelings for you, okay?"

"You're assuming you'll get hurt, but what if the opposite is true? What if you find the very thing you need to be happy again? Why wouldn't you want to at least find that out?" he asked, finally lowering his hand.

"For someone who's so smart, how can you have missed the most important thing I just said?" she asked as she looked at him again, her eyes pleading with him to understand.

The expression on her face was one of hurt and pain, and Nathan knew it was because she was torn between her feelings and her perception and belief of what might happen were she to act on those feelings.

"I'm not sure how I missed it, but I did. So...can you maybe help me out?" he asked with a warm smile.

Her expression grew more needful as she said, "Nathan, your life is in Kansas. Mine is here. In...Washington."

"But what if your life is meant to be with me?" he asked with such sincerity it made her body tremble.

Marissa shook her head in disbelief then told him, "Nathan. You're not thinking clearly. You're imagining something that...can't be."

"Because it really can't be or because you won't allow yourself to find out if it...could be?"

She looked away again and sat there staring at the kitchen counter when Nathan moved even closer.

"I don't want to leave here wondering what might have been, Marissa," he told her.

When she didn't respond, he gently touched her hand. When she didn't pull it away he took it in his then said, "Don't say 'no' without giving us a chance, okay? Because I won't be the only one wondering 'what if' if you do."

She finally spoke but didn't look at him.

"And what if I let you in and my feelings grow and...yours don't?" she asked so quietly he could barely hear her, but he did hear. "Then what?"

"That won't happen. I can promise you my already-very-strong feelings will only grow stronger," he said as he slowly reached up and put his index finger under her chin.

She didn't resist him, but she also didn't turn toward him, so he slowly and gently lifted and turned her head until they were just inches apart.

"I will never hurt you, Marissa," he said as he began moving even closer.

Nathan closed his eyes, and even though Marissa didn't close hers, she was powerless to stop him from pressing his lips to hers. She couldn't pull away or move at all, and as kissed her, some part of her deep inside lost the battle and kissed him back. It was really just the slightest movement of her own lips, but there was no denying she kissed him, too.

As Nathan pulled away, he smiled and looked into her eyes.

"Don't say 'no', okay?" he whispered, his face just inches away from hers.

She looked away again then said slightly louder, "I...I'm...I think I'm kind of hungry. If your offer of lunch is still..."

"Come on. Let's go get something to eat," he said in an almost normal volume as he stood up and offered her his hand.

She looked at it then looked at him, and after a few more seconds of hesitation, took it.

When she stood up, Nathan didn't move out of the way. Instead, he took both of her hands, and again looked into her eyes.

"Marissa? I need you to believe something. I will never, ever hurt you," he told her again, as her eyes rapidly darted back and forth between his.

She broke eye contact again then gently took her hands away. But that was only so she could slowly put her arms around his neck.

"I'm...very, very vulnerable, Nathan," she said as he held her close.

"Then trust me, and I'll show you—I'll prove to you—that you have nothing to worry about," he told her as he stroked her soft, silky hair, aware that her body was still shaking.