Her Governess Ch. 01

"Just that I'm really grateful for everything. You saving me, and letting me stay here, and now accepting me as your ward to help me get where I want to be. I'll try really hard to be good, and not let you down. And...don't feel like you have to be too nice. I'm okay with strict, too."

"Do you prefer strict?"

"I think sometimes, yes. But not, like, out-of-control strict, you know? Just...firm."

"That's good to know; thank you for telling me that. Is anything else on your mind? Questions?"

"I can't think of anything else. Oh! What should I call you? You know, during high protocol?"

"I'd prefer 'Miss'. I'm not ready to be a ma'am yet," Kara said.

Ashley gave a little chuckle. "Okay. Thank you, Miss. That's all my questions for now, I think."

Kara took a deep breath, then opened the shoe box that was on the couch beside her. She reached in and drew out a black, leather collar with a silver buckle. As her fingers touched the smooth, inch-wide band it brought a flood of memories rushing back. Even after so many years, her fingertips remembered the feel of her first real collar.

"Back..." she started, then had to clear her suddenly raspy throat. She took another breath and let it out slowly. Ashley looked on.

"Back when I was a little older than you are now, I was lost. I was on a bad road, and it was leading me further into darkness every day." She paused as her eyes welled with tears. She stroked the pad of her thumb over the shiny, black leather of the collar.

She missed him so much.

"I felt a lot of despair and...and the guys I was meeting were...they were not good guys. I kept looking, hoping, but it just seemed to get worse and worse. I was always scared, always hurting, but I kept going back because it was all I could think of. I didn't see any better options."

Hot tears overflowed and ran down her cheeks. She took another steadying breath. Ashley's eyes were wide.

"I kept putting myself in scenes that were more and more dangerous. I guess I stopped caring. Just got numb to it all."

Kara sniffed and wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. Emotion was thick in the quiet living room.

"But when things were at their worst and I was...I was having really dark thoughts, I finally met a good man. An older guy, seventeen years older. He was gentle and thoughtful. He made me feel safe and confident. When I was with him, I could let go and be my real self. I'd been seeing him for six months when he gave me a collar."

Kara held the collar out so Ashley could see it. The younger woman was getting misty, too, her teary eyes still gazing up into Kara's. She knew by now where this was leading.

"I became his." Kara reached down and slowly looped the collar around Ashley's neck, sliding it under her hair at the back. "This collar saved my life. I truly believe that. It literally saved my life. I wore it for two years before he got me a different one."

Kara fastened the buckle, making sure it wasn't too tight or too loose.

"But THIS is the collar that saved me. It's the most important thing I own. The most important thing I've ever owned."

Ashley was overcome, bottom lip quivering, sniffling, tears flowing silently. Kara could feel herself close to breaking down completely. She reached out with both hands, cradled Ashley's cheeks and looked down into her watery, emerald eyes.

"Please wear it with honour and pride."

Then Kara dissolved into heartbroken sobs. And when Ashley stood and wrapped her in a tight hug, Kara returned it, grateful to have someone to share her terrible burden of grief, even in a small way.

*

The crying went on for more than half an hour. Ashley held her the entire time, weeping herself. Gradually, tears gave way to a desire for ice cream cake and alcohol.

This was supposed to be a celebration, after all!

Kara got up and started brewing coffee for her Irish Coffee, then took the cake out of the freezer. Ashley had followed her to the kitchen and leaned against a counter, a faraway look in her eyes as she caressed the leather band around her neck reverently.

"Looks good on you," Kara said, enjoying how it contrasted with her pale skin, yet matched her hair almost perfectly.

"It's my first collar," Ashley said, still unfocused. Then she looked into Kara's eyes. "Are you sure about this? I mean, this is...so special. Like, maybe too much?"

"It's yours, now and always."

"I don't know how to thank you for something like this. I'm kind of in shock. This is the best gift ever."

Kara pulled her into a gentle hug.

"You can thank me by doing your best, every day. And I'm here to help you. You're not alone; we're in this together."

"Hey, you're making me cry again," Ashley protested, but didn't pull back from the hug.

"Well I can't be the only one," Kara said, then stepped back. "Cut the cake and take it out to the leaving room. I'll be there with the Irish Coffee in a few."

The cake was delicious, although too rich to have more than a slice. The Irish Coffee hit the spot. Maybe a little too strong, but the added bite of alcohol wasn't unwelcome just then. Kara felt herself loosening up, and she hoped Ashley was feeling more relaxed as well.

Kara sat on the couch and Ashley was cross-legged on the cushion on the floor. That was a high-protocol rule - whenever they were seated together, Ashley would be at her feet. But even in low protocol the young woman seemed eager to embrace the tangible symbol of her new status.

They discussed the other rules too, as they sipped and Ashley downed a second slice of cake.

The 'eyes' rule was another high-protocol directive. When Kara was present, Ashley's gaze would be directed either to the floor in front of her, or watching Kara's face attentively, not wandering absently around the room.

The only other rule Kara decided to implement was to put Ashley in charge of all the household chores except cooking, which Kara enjoyed and kept for herself. But dishes, laundry, bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming, and other domestic duties now belonged to her ward. Ashley had readily agreed, pointing out that since she wasn't paying rent or expenses, it was fair for her to do the housework.

Three rules was plenty to start with.

They passed some time with small talk. Kara learned that Ashley was estranged from her parents and had a younger brother she never saw anymore. Kara told her about her own sister and nephews, and her parents who lived in Victoria. None of them were aware of her kink lifestyle, and had not-too-subtly hinted that her marriage to a man seventeen years her senior - and the related decision not to have children - was a major mistake. But they'd been pleasant to Peter's face, at least, and that counted for something.

By mid-afternoon Kara was enjoying the combination of a sugar rush and a mild buzz brought on by the liqueur. Ashley felt it too - she shifted restlessly on her cushion, her eyes on Kara's.

"May I speak, Miss?" she asked.

"It's low protocol, Ash," Kara said, deliberately shortening her name to emphasize the informality. "And you can ALWAYS speak. No need to ask."

"Thank you. I was wondering if there was anything you wanted me to do. I'm excited to get started."

Get started? Hadn't they already started?

Kara realized that Ashley wanted to be actively directed; to be assigned tasks and to have her time structured. It made sense - she'd said that Chad kept her on a 'rigid schedule' for the three years of that relationship. Small wonder that idleness made the young woman feel a little...impatient. Kara didn't plan to micro-manage her that strongly, but figured in the beginning she could accommodate her, to make her more comfortable.

"Hmm. Well, since you asked, I think I'd enjoy a foot massage. Would you be comfortable with that?"

Ashley's eyes widened and Kara thought she saw a look of anxiety on her face, but it was gone a moment later. Kara cursed herself for the misstep - it had seemed an innocent enough request, but obviously it was too much intimacy, too soon. Being the one in charge was harder than it looked!

"That's okay, maybe we'll save that for later. How about we get online and look for some clothes for you?" Kara said.

If anything, the retreat made things worse; Ashley's expression became almost panicked.

"No...wait! I'm sorry. Please allow me to massage your feet, Miss? Please?" Without waiting for a response, Ashley knelt on the cushion and lifted Kara's right foot into her lap and peeled off the sock.

Kara didn't know what to do. Should she allow it, which clearly made the young woman uncomfortable? Or decline it, which ALSO made her uncomfortable? There didn't seem to be a correct answer here, so Kara decided to remain passive.

Ashley hesitated for a moment as she looked down at the foot in her lap, then gently stroked the top and sides with the palm of her hand as though she were petting a cat. She paused again before repeating the motion. She avoided the toes and soles as though not sure what to make of them.

She didn't know how to give a foot massage. That was the problem! Kara almost sighed in relief as the mystery of her ward's nervousness was revealed. She couldn't obey the command, but didn't know how to refuse.

"Ash?"

"Yes, Miss?"

"Is this the first time you've done this?"

Ashley's shoulders slumped and she kept her head lowered. "Yes, Miss," her voice was quiet and full of shame, "I'm sorry it's no good. I'll accept whatever punishment you decide."

Kara put her feet on the floor and leaned forward.

"Hey, look at me."

Her ward reluctantly lifted her eyes off the floor.

"If you didn't know how to give a foot massage, why didn't you just say that?"

"I promised to be obedient. A slave doesn't make excuses for failure."

Kara took a few moments to figure out how to go forward. Ashley had failed the principle of 'honesty', but had followed the principle of 'obedience' too perfectly. Kara realized her high-minded Five Principles had trapped poor Ashley in a contradiction. Her very first command as a Dominant had been a failure!

So what was the best response? Stern? Apologetic? Forgiving? Should she retreat on the concept of Five Principles? Was it too late to ask for a do-over? How could having control be so difficult?

Kara opted for a warm, soft tone.

"Thank you for your obedience. I know it takes a lot of guts to try something you're not good at and I'm really happy you made the effort for me."

Ashely's face showed confusion. She'd been expecting a reprimand but got thanks and praise instead.

"I don't know all your strengths and talents yet," Kara continued. "So if I ask you to do something and you don't know how, please say so. As your governess, it's my job to teach you these things."

"Okay. I'm really sorry about that."

Kara gave her cheek an affectionate rub with her palm. "No need to be sorry, I'm really pleased with you. Now, let's switch places."

"Um...okay. Why?"

"I'm going to give you a foot massage."

"Me? But...why?"

"To show you what's involved, and because I'll enjoy massaging your feet."

Looking bewildered, Ashley sat on the couch and Kara knelt in front of her and removed the younger woman's socks.

"Please tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable, okay? This shouldn't hurt at all."

Ashley nodded.

Kara began with the right foot, holding it in her warm hands and starting down by the heel, squeezing, flexing and gently rotating the ankle. Her touch was practiced; she'd given hundreds of massages like this one over the last fourteen years, though none to a foot so small and soft. When she began pressing her thumbs into the sole she was rewarded with a sigh from her ward.

"Wow...this is amazing," Ashley said.

Kara glanced up at her and winked, then looked back down at the dainty foot in her hands.

"Peter was a carpenter when I first met him. He did mostly kitchen cabinets and some custom orders for people who could afford it. He was on his feet pretty much all day, wearing heavy steel-toe work boots. We'd get together in the evenings. I'd complain about my dead-end retail job and he'd grumble about his sore feet."

When Kara glanced up again, Ashley was following the story with interest. Kara continued to work on her sole.

"I was madly in love with him and after he collared me I decided I really wanted to do something to make his feet feel better."

"It's always smart to keep your Master in a good mood," Ashley agreed.

Kara shook her head. "No, that's not it. I WANTED to make his feet feel better. I loved him and didn't want him to be in pain. He didn't ask me to do it, or threaten me if I didn't. I served him because his happiness was really important to me."

"So you did it without being told?"

Kara nodded. "I got books from the library on massage and practiced on him every night for a while. I watched videos online. I even managed to save up enough to take a one-day massage course at college."

"It shows. You have a really nice touch. It feels incredible."

"Thank you. I'm enjoying it too."

"You LIKE giving foot massages?"

Kara smiled. "It's not a foot fetish. I just love the feeling of making you feel good. I like knowing you're feeling pleasure. I like the way your foot feels in my hands. It's intimate, don't you think?"

Ashley was quiet for a moment. "Yeah. I feel that too. It's...a good feeling."

"Peter loved it too. He'd wash his feet and I'd kneel and massage them for twenty or thirty minutes while dinner was in the oven, or before we went out for an evening together. It was a quiet time between us. Just two people who loved one another, sharing in some simple pleasure."

Ashley gave an appreciative moan as Kara worked her way up to her toes.

"Oh! I should be paying attention! I've just been sitting here zoning out..."

"Just relax and enjoy. There's lots of time for you to practice. This is just to show you what it's all about," Kara said. "And because I like massaging your feet, Ash."

"Because you want me to feel good and you want to share some quiet time with me?"

"Yes."

There was a long silence, and Kara glanced up to make sure her ward hadn't fallen asleep. Peter had often nodded off during her massages, and Kara always found it oddly flattering that he would relax to that extent. But Ashley wasn't asleep - she was looking at Kara thoughtfully.

"That's...really cool," she said softly.

*

Throughout the week the new relationship began to take shape.

Ash was diligent about her new chores, almost to the point of fanaticism. She was out of bed by six and had the coffee on before Kara had even opened her eyes. She cleaned the apartment - all of it - every day before joining Kara for lunch at noon. The few times Kara had tried to help out by washing a dish or making her own bed, Ashley had hastened to take over the task, apologizing sincerely for not having attended to it sooner.

Kara realized it caused her young ward less hardship if she just left her to work, so Kara spent the mornings reading, running on the treadmill in the basement rec room, shopping for groceries or meeting friends for coffee. When she returned to the apartment it was absolutely spotless and pristine. Somehow it even smelled fresh.

The afternoons were more relaxed, but posed a unique challenge: Ashley grew restless, then anxious, if she sat idle for any length of time. She expected direction from Kara almost constantly, and towards the end of the week Kara found it difficult to meet this new requirement.

Had Kara been so demanding of her Master's time and focus and just not realized it? The more she saw of Ashley, the more she began to question how her own behaviour might have created challenges and frustrations for Master Peter. It was sobering to experience both sides, and it led her to appreciate his patience even more in hindsight.

There were some wins, though.

The day after receiving the foot massage, Ash had offered one to Kara, unbidden. Her efforts weren't very skilled but she kept at it and incorporated some hints and tips from her governess. The following day, she offered again. Thursday, too. She tried hard, and each time her technique improved a little. She was never in a hurry, content to kneel and give the foot in her lap her complete focus. On Friday, Ash knelt on her cushion for more than forty-five minutes, absorbed in Kara's feet.

They went to the mall to re-stock Ashley's wardrobe, but even this proved more of a challenge than expected.

First, Ash had wanted to wear her collar, and her disappointment at not being allowed to was obvious. Kara explained that she might meet one of her 'vanilla' friends and didn't want her kinks to be 'outed', and Ash dutifully accepted her decision, but Kara could tell she was unhappy with it. The collar had quickly become a source of pride and identity for Ashley; it left her neck only during showers and while she slept, and the latter case had only been at Kara's firm insistence. She didn't want Ash getting strangled in her sleep!

And once they got to the mall, the younger woman ceded every clothing decision to Kara, refusing to express any preference; her deference bordered on stubbornness! Regardless of the size, colour or style, Ash would only say that she'd proudly wear whatever Kara chose. Her sincerity was the most frustrating part. Kara couldn't get angry with her because Ash genuinely wanted to wear whatever clothes her governess chose for her. Having Kara choose was meaningful to Ashley, it seemed.

In the end, Kara had decided on a few pair of black yoga pants, long-sleeved cotton shirts in pretty colours, a couple of skirt/blouse combinations, sneakers, flats, winter wear and enough underwear and socks to make do. It wasn't cheap, and Ashley seemed horrified at the cost and apologized again and again until Kara issued an edict against further apologies.

Was being a Dominant always so difficult, or was Ash a special case? Had Kara herself been so needy with Peter? She had an uncomfortable suspicion it was true, at least at first.

*

By the end of their first week together, Kara felt things were going well. It hadn't been flawless, but Ash was a conscientious and earnest young woman and Kara found her to be good company, although a tad over-zealous at times.

Even there, Kara was more inclined to blame Chad than Ashley. Her former Master had enforced - often brutally - some extreme and unhealthy dogmas, and after three years they were deeply entrenched in Ash's psyche. Ashley spent most of her time in a high-protocol state, even when it wasn't called for, and Kara didn't know if this was her preference or the result of three years of abuse and stress.

Ash hadn't needed much time to absorb Kara's rules and quickly acclimatized to her new home and to Kara's preferences and habits. By the end of the week Ashley had started dropping subtle hints that she was eager to go further and learn more, so Kara had devoted a lot of time to mapping out 'the next step' in Ash's journey into healthy submission.

But how best to proceed? Kara was torn.

There was so much non-submissive stuff that Ash desperately needed - a job, a supportive peer group, hobbies, interests, an education, and maybe counseling for psychological trauma - and Kara felt it was short-sighted to focus on merely deepening the younger woman's sense of submission. Ash had "vanilla life" problems that required urgent attention. Surely there were more pressing priorities that Kara should be emphasizing!

On the other hand, Ash knew what she wanted, and if Kara didn't deliver then Ashley would eventually go looking for someone who could. Keeping the younger woman safe meant keeping her close by, at least for now.

But even then, what was the best way to 'deepen' someone's submission? What did that mean? Was it even possible? Even an experienced Dominant might not know the answers, and Kara was far from experienced.