Hiding in My House Pt. 03

[All characters in this story are 18 years of age or older.]

***

You ever have one of those weeks where nothing goes quite right? Like, you show up at the lecture hall and your least-favorite class is canceled for the day, so you go back to the house all happy, only to walk in on your boyfriend and one of your other housemates getting it on in your bed? And then you have your best friend in the whole world, Seong, drive you ninety miles back to your family house, and you're so lucky to have such a great friend, but she won't shut up about what a mistake you're making leaving school? And then you think of something to say that shuts her up, but it hurts her feelings and makes you feel like a shit?

And when you wake up the next morning you accidentally see your dad and sister fucking each other's brains out, which just about explodes your head but also turns out to be really hot?

And you spy on them a couple different times by sticking your phone's camera around a corner to record pretty much the steamiest action you could possibly imagine, only the way you shot it means the angles in your video are mostly fucked up and it's way harder to see the juiciest bits than it should be in a universe with any justice?

And then you do manage to get yourself off repeatedly watching your badly framed home movies of mind-bending incest, but when you're done, you realize your hand's all sticky and you need to pee like crazy but if you go in the bathroom and wash up or flush, they'll hear it and know you know what they've been up to?

And then luckily you're a slob and you find an old sports drink bottle under your bed to piss in and it's the absolute best relief you've had in ages letting go and streaming into the bottle, only then there's a bottle of pee in your room and it's grossing you out but you know if you put it out of sight somewhere so you don't have to look at it and get grossed out, you're going to forget all about it and a year from now you'll finally clean your room and there'll be this bottle of piss to gross you out again not only because it's a bottle of piss in your room but because you'll be like, "Oh shit, every time I've slept in this room the last year there's been a bottle of piss here with me!"

Yeah, have you ever had that kind of week?

It's the kind of week that could really fuck somebody up, you know.

By noon Saturday of that week for me, my whole body was a wet noodle of physical and mental exhaustion. Yeah, some of that came from an absurd excess of masturbation, fingering myself and thrumming my clit as I stared at my laptop watching Kellie and Dad in the shower, Kellie and Dad on the couch.

Dad in Kellie. Kellie on Dad.

I, uh, may have been abusing myself to those videos for like, an hour or more, so... kind of tiring, sure. But the rest of the week before that wasn't any help, that's for certain. Which probably contributed to me nodding off.

Only for like an hour!

But when I woke up and realized it was almost 1:30, I just about panicked. Fuzzy headed at first, blinking and realizing I was in my bed, laptop lying open next to me, I went to scratch my nose and realized my fingers smelled like muffin crust -- remembered why --

Fuck, where's my phone? Shit! 1:24?

The security guy was supposed to come between noon and 1:00 they'd said, and after he was done they planned on going out for lunch -- my opportunity to escape the house without them noticing.

Is he here now? Did he already come and leave? Are they already at lunch?

I slipped quietly off the bed and tip-toed to my door -- where I couldn't help noticing my pee bottle on the bookcase next to the door. So gross. I put my ear to the door. Were those voices? If they were, they weren't close...

Cautiously, I turned the knob and cracked the door. Things felt and sounded quiet up here, but I could hear conversation downstairs... at least a couple of voices, I didn't think all of them familiar.

The security guy must still be here, I thought. Okay, great, I didn't miss them going out to lunch. But is he talking to Dad and Kell down there, or could one of them be hanging out up here where they might spot me?

I inched the door a little wider until I could see down the hall. I could see the closed door to the master bedroom at the far end, by the stairs. And no lights shining out into the hall from my sister's room or the bathroom or study. Gritting my teeth, I opened the door wide enough to get my head out.

Now one of the voices from the first floor sounded female, and two different male voices followed one after the other.

So unless even more people have showed up, the two of them are down there talking to this security dude. About what?

Maybe because I'd gotten away with sneaking around spying on illicit incest today had made me overconfident in my secret-agent-ninja skills. But I decided to see if I could sate my curiosity. Same as before, I tiptoed down the hall, hearing the conversation better and better as I neared the stairs.

"... beeps every time... the door?" Kellie asked.

"Yes," came guy's voice I didn't recognize. "You can raise or... er the volume, but... long as you haven't disabled... feature, you'll know anytime someone... an exterior door, including the... between the house and the garage."

"Good, good," said Dad.

I got to the corner of the stairs and crouched. Based on the volume and the echoes, it sounded like they were in the downstairs hall that ran between the foyer and the door to the garage. From there it was just a couple of steps to the bottom of the stairs, so I didn't poke my head around the corner to see.

"Great. Now, when the system is armed, are you comfortable with a thirty-second delay between opening the door and the alarm going off?"

"Thirty seconds doesn't sound very long," Kellie said.

"It's longer than you think," the guy replied. He had this calm and very reassuring voice... probably an asset in his line of work. "In thirty seconds, you could come in from the garage with a grocery bag in each hand, pass through here and into the kitchen to put them down, and still return to the keypad in plenty of time to enter the code."

Part of me wanted them to wrap up this conversation and get the dude out of there so they could go to lunch and let me skedaddle. Another part of me was like, Girl, this is maybe important information to have for a person who wants to be sneaking out of a house where there's a new security system, right?

Turns out the first part of me got lucky. Dad and Kell didn't seem to have any other questions, Smooth-voice Security Guy said his goodbyes, the front door opened, and I heard a chirpy little electronic beepity-beep when it opened and another when it shut.

Uh-oh, crap, I thought. If they go straight out to the car to go to lunch, and they arm the system first I bet I'm only going to have thirty seconds to grab my stuff and get to the back door and out or I'll set the alarm off.

I started edging back toward my room -- but then Dad's voice stopped me by saying, "So what time do you want to go to dinner?"

Wait, dinner? What happened to lunch?

"I'm still kinda full from that sandwich," Kellie replied. "Maybe six or so?"

"Really? How big was the sandwich? I told you you should just have a piece of fruit."

"Hey, you're to blame as much as I am for getting my appetite worked up. And fruit would have been even worse than the sandwich. There's only bananas, and you know I have trouble wrapping my mouth around just one of those."

"Ha-ha."

I heard their footsteps -- moving through the foyer toward the living room, it sounded like. Or maybe the stairs.

I resumed my super-spy/ninja stealthing away down the hall.

"Oh!" The footsteps stopped with Kellie's voice. "Hey, now the system's activated, we better remember to text Chelse the code. If she comes home while we're doing it sometime, the beep will let us know to run for cover, but then we won't exactly be in a state where either of us could run down and disarm it."

"Well, I'd definitely trade her setting off the alarm for her walking in on us. At least it's a little extra peace of mind."

Holy shit, the alarm system was to warn them about me and not because they're worried about the house getting robbed? Come on, guys, I never come home without texting.

"You and your paranoia. She never comes home without texting."

"I know. She's good that way."

Oh, oops, except I guess 'never' isn't exactly the right word right now.

No voices or footsteps for a few seconds, then Dad said, "Missing her again?"

"Yeah..." Her voice trailed off, then returned. "Hmm."

"Hmm? It kind of looks like you switched from your missing-my-sister face to your thinking-naughty-thoughts face."

"Well... you know what we've never done?"

"I mean, there are quite a few things, but we don't own a sex dungeon or a flock of trained penguins."

"We've never done it in her room."

Oh shit. No. Don't you dare.

"That... seems kind of wrong, don't you think?"

She laughed. "Dude, you've been fucking your oldest daughter since she turned nineteen. I wouldn't think 'kind of wrong' would give you too much pause."

"You know what I mean." He sounded... embarrassed? "I try not to think of her... that way. I don't want to ever drop my guard and let something slip around her. We agreed about this a long time ago."

"Yeah, yeah, no hints of any kind toward Chelsea. If she wants in it's going to be because she makes the first move. But I guess I'm less of a wuss than you are, because I do think of her that way. Sometimes."

Gross!

...Okay, hot, kind of, but also gross.

Oh fuck, but soooo hot...

Only... ew!

No way.

"Not while we're doing it, I hope. A man likes to think the lady's thoughts are all on him, you know."

"Uh..."

"Sheesh! Jesus, you're nasty."

"This surprises you?"

"Not much surprises me about you anymore," he said. "But this one doesn't seem very well thought out.... you want us to go at it in her bedroom and spooge up her sheets? We'd have to strip the bed and wash them after, and I'm pretty sure she hasn't washed them herself in ages, so she might notice if she comes home next time and they're fresh and clean."

"We don't have to do it in the bed. The floor's carpeted."

"Ick. No way am I lying down on that floor."

I glanced back through the doorway to my room, and to be honest, I was with him on that one.

"I mean, the plus side is, she's spilled plenty of stuff in there. If we leave another stain, she'll never notice."

"That's not making it sound any more appealing."

"Okay, standing up, then. I can bend over the bed and support myself with my hands, maybe put my face in her pillow and smell it while you're --"

"Just... keep that to yourself, okay? I mean, I'm tempted, but I really don't know if I want to think about your sister in the middle of it."

"Pretty sure you do. But if you're chicken about that part, suit yourself. Can we?"

A silence drew itself out at that point. My heart seemed to be beating really loud, but I don't know if it was terror at getting found up here, excitement at the thought of what Kell was suggesting, or outrage at the idea of them defiling my personal sanctuary with their apparently unending sexcapades.

Kell's voice reached me a little quieter than before. "Dad, it's okay. Forget I ever said anything, all right? I'd like to, but it's totally not worth you being uncomfortable."

"Thanks, honey." Based on his tone, he felt almost as relieved as I did.

Whew!

"Goddammit, though," he went on, "it does sound really hot."

"Hah! Come on, then -- upstairs before you lose your nerve."

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

I rushed back to my room as fast as I could without stomping, got the door closed, heard them on the stairs -- running and giggling now, of course -- looked around in a panic for any stuff they'd notice shouldn't be here, grabbed my laptop, my backpack, and scuttled across into the closet.

Someone's hand turned the doorknob just as I got in and slid the door closed. Or, almost closed. The heel of a random sandal stuck out just enough to keep it open a couple inches.

Shit! The bedroom door swung open, leaving me no time to move the sandal and finish shutting myself in. But great! I could totally put my eye to the crack and watch them now. Only, shit, I am such a fucking coward! I'm not a panic attack person, but right then I thought maybe I understood what it felt like. Squatting in my own closet, light coming in through that gap, my ears full of my own pulse and the sound of their feet, moving slower now as if maybe seeing my room open in front of them gave Kellie and Dad a little pause. I had to fight with my lungs to keep from breathing, in case one of them heard -- only the longer I fought, the worse my lungs fought back, and the louder I knew that next breath would be.

"What a frickin' mess," Dad said.

Kellie was in the lead. I could hear her lighter steps entering the room as she replied to him. "I know, right? I love it." She took in a deep breath. "You can smell that perfume of hers, her deodorant..."

"Her laundry -- goddammit, look at that bottle of Gatorade."

"Haha, she didn't even finish it."

"It's... I mean... that bookshelf is two feet from the door. How do you walk out of this room and not see it and take it with you to throw away?" The aggravated father came through in his voice -- which then jumped up a notch. "Shit, don't open it! It's probably fermented."

No, not fermented, I thought. Please don't let her open that bottle!

"Yeah, you're probably right." Whew! "Would you look at all these shirts and shorts... and panties?"

"I'm looking," he grumbled.

"Oh, come on. It's adorable."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna need this... and this... and a couple of these..."

"No -- don't -- she'll notice her stuff has been moved --"

"Dad. Seriously? You think she paid attention to where she threw this shirt, and these shorts, and her dirty panties?"

I swallowed hard at a sudden image of Kellie with an armful of my dirty clothes pressed to her chest. Oh -- hey, I guess I started to breathe somewhere in there. And they didn't hear!

Dad said, "Fair point, I guess. So what are you going to do with those? If you're thinking about putting them on and having me undress you from them, I'd really rather you --"

"Relax. You're such a baby. These are for smelling. Once we get started."

I heard the flutter of cloth through the air and the fwump of it landing on my bed. My breathing stopped again. Apparently if I could work up the courage to peek through that crack, I was about to see my sister with her nose in my underwear while Dad fucked her.

My organs started a wrestling match between panic and arousal and shock.

The two of them, I could get my head around, you know? I'd had five years of sensing that weird, harmonious vibe between them without knowing what it meant. So finding out they'd been boffing each other ever since that camping trip I skipped out on... it answered all the questions. And as crazy as most people would find this, it made me happy for them.

And it got me really fucking horny.

But listening to Kellie over the last couple hours, the truth made itself clearer and clearer: she wanted me in this thing with them -- and that freaked me out.

You can think something is hot without wanting to do it, right? I mean, I've watched gay porn and lesbian porn and one of those I can't do and the other has always just seemed vicariously exciting, I haven't really considered making it happen. I mean, a couple of times when I was drubbing my nub, I guess. This thing with Kell and Dad, though -- you're talking a whole other level of makes-me-drippy-without-being-on-my-own-radar. I kind of loved finding out that the reason they were so close was, they were that close. I felt bizarrely proud of them for loving each other so much they could defy the biggest sex rule in every society for all of history.

But, like, that time when I'd got super-proud of my little cousin Timmy for winning his middle-school science fair, it didn't make me think, Well dang, now I really want to win a middle-school science fair!

Some things are far enough outside your reality they just don't occur to you.

Here I was, though, eight or ten feet from my dad and sister, seconds or minutes away from them getting into it -- and Kellie was involving me. My room. My clothes.

My scent.

To be completely honest, it halfway cheezed me off that she would interfere with my ability to perv on their incest like this. Why do big sisters have to be so goddamn annoying?

Fortunately, before I got stuck too long on that question, I found myself catching make-out noises from beyond the closet door. Yes, great, focus on that, Chelse.

I didn't dare risk them seeing a flash of movement from my hiding spot, so I could only listen. But all on their own, the sounds were pretty damn good: lips meeting like the roll of a raindrop down a leaf... tongues slipping against one another like seals through a warm southern ocean... hands in clothing, in hair, on skin, breeding rich textures of passionate touch -- now fast, now slow, now drawing out a groan of approval. I heard a belt unfastening, a buttonhole losing its grip on the little disk it had been manufactured to clutch, the sharp complaint of a zipper losing its union to impatient fingers. A shirt drew up across the muscled chest it held, then farther up around shoulders, down strong, solid arms, tousling a head of blond hair along the way.

"Mm," Kellie said as the shirt fluttered away. "Me likey."

From my dark little nook, I heard the brush of her hand on his flesh. A shoulder? His pecs? Then more kissing. If I knew how they were turned, I might risk a quick peep. But either of them might have line of sight if I did, and then I'd be screwed.

Could I get my phone out quiet enough to -- I stopped my hand halfway to my pocket. Holy. Shit. Has all of the blood gone somewhere besides your brain, girl?

I'd gotten away with my phone-camera spying twice now, but if my screen came on in the dark of the closet, it'd be like a spotlight drawing their eyes to the glow. Just... sit tight, okay?

Okay.

More clothes slid off and swished through the air -- maybe out the door, as quiet as they sounded when they landed. Geez, do they really think my floor is that dirty? My eyes dropped toward the sliver of carpet I could see through the closet door gap. Yeah, I guess probably they do.

Bra catch. Straps being slipped. The sound of elastic stretching then releasing to slingshot Kellie's C-cups out the door.

"Hey, were you trying to hit me with that?" Dad asked.

"Oh, please. Like I could miss from this distance." My sister's voice paused, then went up a hair. "You're not leaving those socks on, are you?"

"Hey, you're the one who keeps going on about how filthy it is in here," he replied -- only to add, almost immediately, "Oh, come on, not The Glare. I was joking! Obviously I was joking."

"Better," she said, once the offending footwear had sailed out the door. "Now. Whose undies go first?"

"I'm more than happy to take yours down if I get to nibble those tits while I'm doing it."

"Deal."

I couldn't hear whether he bent over or knelt halfway down... but I heard the flick of a tongue against skin and her giggling.