His Worrisome Aching Ch. 03

Sarah took a deep breath, dried her tears, and took another swig of lemonade. "OK, mom...well...I know because...well...because...I found out from...someone."

Carole chuckled. She was genuine when she told her daughter that there would be no judgments...but...she tightened a little at the phrase 'I found out from someone'. What did that mean?

"From whom, baby girl?"

Sarah paused, but felt safe. Her mother's tone of voice had remained calm and inquisitive.

"From Jonathan, mom." She tensed, waiting to find out if her mother would freak out.

"Cousin, Jonathan?"

"Yeah, cousin Jonathan."

Carole steeled herself with another gulp of lemonade. How did her nephew know such things at his age? "He told you about such things?"

"No, mom. He...well...we found out together." Sarah grimaced slightly as the words came out.

Carole took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. She steadied her nerves, and repeated to Sarah her promise not to judge, nor scold, nor tell anyone.

"Oh. So...how did that happen?"

"This is really OK, mom? I mean, it's really OK for me to tell you, and you won't tell dad or Pastor Phelps?"

Holding up her had, Carole solemnly said, "I promise."

Sarah began to tell the story of cousin Jon's worrisome aching in his testicles. Her naive recounting of events intrigued and eventually aroused her mother. But it all made sense.

Jon was having aching in his testicles, and he was afraid it might be cancer or something serious. Sarah had started a correspondence-course in herbal medicine. She helpfully looked things up in her new anatomy and physiology books. Her intentions were pure - she wanted to help her cousin feel better, and she knew she needed to examine him. That's how she learned about the clear, slippery liquid that oozes out of a penis when it's stiff.

Sarah did not tell her mother the details about the second encounter with Jonathan. Not yet.

Carole listened intently, occasionally pausing Sarah's narrative to ask a question or two.

They both startled a little when they heard the pickup coming up the drive.

Sarah looked up and confirmed it was her father.

"Mom, it's dad! Are you gonna keep to our agreement?"

"Yes, of course Sarah. I promised. And are you going to keep your promise to me?"

"Mom, is it OK? I don't want to disappoint the Lord and end up going to hell! Not myself and not cousin Jonathan, either."

As they watched Sarah's father get out of the truck, Carole whispered, "Honey, no one is going to hell for this. Some time real soon, I want you to finish telling me what happened, though. I want to know everything, OK?"

She extended her pinkie, and Sarah did likewise, and they pinkie-promised once again.

"I want you to finish telling me all about you helping out your cousin before he comes over to the house again, allright?"

"Sure, mom." Sarah smiled and scampered inside and up the stairs to her room. She felt relieved at having told her mother what had transpired. And glad that her mom said they weren't going to go to hell for it. She hoped they wouldn't, and thought they hadn't really done anything really wrong, but was scared that Pastor Phelps and dad would say the opposite.

Karl trod heavily up the wooden steps to the porch. Carole had learned to judge his moods by how quickly and forcefully he came up the steps. By the sound of his footfalls, he was upset about something.

Seeing that Carole was alone in the kitchen, he began, "Carole, the elders are concerned about what some of the young people are learning."

"What's wrong, this time, Karl?" Carole said with a hint of exasperation.

"There's too much information in those home medical books that most of our people have. The young people have access to some information that is, well, you know, practically pornographic!" He poured himself a glass of lemonade.

"Oh, Karl, I have seen them, and they are NOT pornographic!"

"Yes they are! We keep our children from the evils of television and the internet to help keep them pure and away from wickedness. Yet we allow these 'family medical guides' into our homes. They often have drawings of the body...including male and female 'parts'."

"Karl, the ones I have seen are not sexual at all," Carole said, trying to calm him.

"And...our own daughter! Why, just the other day she admitted that she had books that explained about...reproduction! That's certainly sexual!"

"Karl, listen," Carole asserted, "you know Sarah wants to be a natural doctor for people like us who prefer to use herbs and vitamins instead of medications, and prefer to avoid mainstream medicines. And...you approved of her goal to take this course of study so she could learn. Remember? She asked your permission, and you agreed?"

He took a few deep breaths, and deliberately let his upper back muscles relax. "But Pastor Phelps...and the board of elders..."

"Karl, we can't have it both ways," Carole said emphatically. "Yes, we want to avoid the wickedness and evils of the world...and we do. But we cannot live in ignorance! It is not good for our people in the long run. And, Sarah's studies will benefit our community."

Sarah's father was silent.

"Besides, Karl, you want our daughter, and every other young person in our community to be as healthy as possible. And as 'normal' as possible. I am sick of mothers not even explaining about menstrual periods to their children - either girls or boys. Do you know how many girls fear that they have a horrible disease or are bleeding to death, because no one ever explained periods to them?" Her voice was agitated and assertive. "And Pastor Phelps and you elders don't explain to boys anything about getting erections and wet dreams, so they are confused and ashamed and worried that they are going to hell! Is THAT the kind of ignorance and fear that you 'righteous' men WANT to perpetuate?" Her voice was quite loud now.

Karl was flushed, and taken aback. Carole never raised her voice to him. This was new. But...maybe... possibly... she could have a point.

Lowering her voice just a little, Carole continued, "I expect you to leave Sarah alone. I will watch over her in these matters. She is our daughter - my daughter, and not Pastor Phelps daughter. I have good sense, Karl, and I will decide what my daughter reads and learns! I have respected you and Pastor Phelps and the elders - even though I did not always agree - but Sarah is my only child, and I will not keep her in ignorance!" With that, she opened the screen door, and let it slam behind her.

Sarah was astonished by what she overheard. She had never heard her mother challenge her father...or Pastor Phelps. This was new. She was encouraged by it, though, because her mother not only defended her right to study natural medicine, but was telling her dad that she would oversee Sarah's learnings. And it sure sounded as though mom was adamant about keeping her pinkie-promise to Sarah.

The next morning at breakfast, conversation was a little reserved. Mother and father were quieter than usual, and Sarah did not know what to say. It was only after father left for work that the atmosphere seemed more congenial.

"Did you hear your father and I last evening?"

"Yes, mom."

"Well then you know that I am serious about helping you learn some things, and being a trusted friend to you."

Sarah smiled, "Thanks mom. And... mom...is everything going to be OK?"

"I think so, honey. Your father will fume for another day or two, but I think things will settle down. And, you've got more to tell me about the conversation we started yesterday. After we finish chores, and you study for a few hours, let's plan to talk more about it."

"OK, mom." Sarah felt comfortable that she and her mother could talk about what had happened with Jonathan. She wanted to. And she hoped for further assurance that neither she nor Jon were going to go to hell for what they had done.

Carole and Sarah tossed a large salad for lunch. Each was mostly silent during the process, wanting to talk more about the situation with Jonathan, but neither certain how to begin.

"So, Sarah, Jon's testicles were aching, and you examined him. I think that was...thoughtful of you. Did you find any lumps or bumps or anything?"

"No. But...I didn't have any idea what I was doing, really. I read as much as I could, and looked at those pictures, but still, it's new to me. And Jonathan wasn't all that much help. He hadn't really ever felt himself very much, cuz...you know..."

"Oh, I know," came Carole's reply. "But you think he is OK?" Carole spoke to Sarah with both concern and respect in her tone of voice.

Sarah sat up straighter, and said with some authority, "Yes, I think his testicles are just fine. I think he just needed to ejaculate."

Carole raised both eyebrows. She knew how naive the two young people were. Jonathan had just finished high school. And she knew the curriculum that was used - it included virtually nothing about the human body, and definitely nothing about genitalia.

"And you told him that?"

"Yeah, mom. I told him I think his testicles are just fine. I didn't feel any lumps or anything. I never checked before, but I'm pretty sure, mom. But I can check again."

"Oh dear Lord," Carole whispered to herself.

"And then he...what...went home and did it?"

"No, mom, I helped him out. Remember? He's not allowed to do it himself. The first time I just examined his testicles. The next time I helped him feel better."

Carole swallowed hard. Calmly she confirmed, "You helped your cousin ejaculate?" She had to have a sip of lemonade because her mouth had gone dry.

"Well, I thought I should. I figured that's what he needed...and Pastor Phelps had told him not to touch himself down there...and he was having this aching in his testicles...so I did it. And...it worked, mom. He said he felt better, and the aching went away." Sarah was naively pleased with what she had accomplished.

"So, that's how you know what comes out of a man's erection?"

"Yes. It was really neat, mom! Really cool! And...he felt better! I figured out what was making him ache, and I masturbated him, and he didn't ache any more! I figured it out!"

Carole smiled because of Sarah's innocence, and because of her 'success' with her first 'patient', and because she remembered her own experiences in youthful exploration. And...because Sarah and Jonathan were involved in something she and Karl had not done in a very long time.

Karl had been raised in the ultra-conservative religious group. Jonathan's mother was Karl's sister. They had never really questioned the doctrines.

But Carole had been raised in a more liberal, Protestant church.

Carole had had a few sexual experiences before she met Karl, but he was a total virgin. She liked them, then she loved him, and she was willing to adopt his lifestyle. She knew he was diabetic, and that the time would likely come when he could not function sexually. And...she knew that, statistically, he would probably become disabled and die young. And he was older than her by 11 years. Still, she was in love with him.

They had only had the one child because, well, it wasn't long after they were married that Karl began to have erectile problems. First he couldn't stay stiff enough for very long. Then he couldn't get stiff enough to penetrate her. He hadn't been able to ejaculate for years. Carole missed it. Sometimes she REALLY missed the sex.

Karl was a kind man, and a good husband and father. So...she was grateful for what she had. Still, there were times when her hormones raged and she was just plain horny.

Pastor Phelps had made it plain that masturbation was a heinous sin. But Carole wasn't convinced. And, even when she thought Pastor Phelps might be right, she masturbated occasionally. Privately. And no one but her knew...well...no one but her and the Lord. Sometimes she felt guilty. Sometimes she abstained for several days or once even for three weeks. (But in those times of determined abstinence, she would occasionally have orgasms in her sleep.) Sometimes she abandoned her reservations and masturbated a few times a day.

She struggled with herself. It seemed to her that her feelings were natural. She compared the sexual feelings with feelings of thirst or hunger. They were natural. It was how God made us, wasn't it? When she realized that she sometimes had an orgasm during sleep, and that boys had 'wet dreams', she felt certain that the body NEEDED to have orgasms. She didn't understand it, but she figured it must be true, nevertheless.

When Carole was the horniest, she needed to have her vagina stretched, and she would push something inside herself. She dare not buy a dildo or vibrator. If either of those were ever found, she's face hell on earth.

So she improvised. A fat carrot, a not-too-big zucchini or cucumber, the handle of a hairbrush...they would do. Sometimes she would slowly peel a banana and pretend it was a penis, and see how far she could put it into her mouth before she would gag. Before she had met Karl, she had taken the cocks of a few boys into her mouth. At first she did it just to please them. Eventually, though, she liked it. She liked it a lot. But Karl, of course, thought it shockingly perverse. Carole had only tried it the one time with him, and he pushed her away. At times she still imagined sucking a hard cock.

After pretending the objects were rock-hard erections, she would slide them in and out of herself and manipulate her clitoris until she orgasmed. When she was horny, all sorts of objects that even remotely resembled an erect penis interested her. A certain shape of shampoo bottle. The handle of a screwdriver (she was entranced by the thought that Karl would take it to work the next day.)

More than once she stuffed fresh bing cherries into her cunt, and left them there for hours while she did her housework. Then she would take them out, warm and moist, and eat them, savoring the residue from her wet pussy. A few times she had pushed a long strand of faux pearls inside herself in the evening, then slowly withdrawn them after Karl began to snore after bedtime. He slept so soundly that her orgasmic shuddering in the bed next to him did not awaken him.

She washed everything thoroughly before sliding it into her vagina...but...she did not wash her juices off after she was finished. The strand of pearls she filled herself with would be worn to the next church meeting. That was decadent! The vegetables with her DNA on them would sometimes be sliced or chopped into casseroles or meals for her family, or for the church pot-luck dinners. Surely that must be perverse? Some kind of sick sin? She didn't know. She only knew that the ideas popped into her head. And once they had entered her thoughts she was not satisfied until she could implement them.

Was it a natural desire, or was it gross sinning? There was no sex available with her husband. And her hormones were in high-gear. She had to do something! During the times in which she tried to abstain, she became nervous and anxious, and even short-tempered. And entire pussy, inside and out, develop a very mild aching. (Maybe not unlike Jonathan?)

She had pledged to be faithful in her marriage, and she really DID love Karl. She needed some sort of sexual outlet, and masturbation fit her needs. She wasn't committing adultery or fornication. She WAS being faithful...wasn't she?

It was totally her secret. She had fantasized about Karl watching her while she did such things, but knew he would think it 'perverse' and 'dirty'. At times she desperately wanted to have SOMEONE watch her, but knew that wouldn't happen. There were times when no one was around that she would stand by a window, either nude, or with her dress or skirt hiked up while she masturbated herself with her fingers. Several times she had stood right at the kitchen sink while gazing out the window, and slide a vegetable in and out of herself. No one outside could see, of course, but she fantasized that someone - anyone - would acknowledge her sexuality and be turned on by watching her. She could suppress her erotic side, but was unsuccessful at completely containing it.

Some times she had quietly masturbated lying in bed next to her sleeping husband. Using just her fingers. Or maybe the handle of a brush. She liked being near him, feeling his warmth and hearing his breathing. There was a sort of intimacy, she imagined, even though he snored loudly through her self-pleasuring episodes.

Carole often prayed before...after...even during her self-pleasuring. For understanding. For forgiveness. For guidance. To be content with her sexless marital situation. To have strength to overcome her obsessions to masturbate. To cum quickly and quietly so Karl would not hear.

Why couldn't she overcome the urges? Month after month. Year after year. Were they from the Devil? Pastor Phelps and the church would surely brand her as a fallen reprobate! But, were they right? She seriously doubted it...and definitely hoped not. On balance, she felt that the urges were wholly natural.

After yesterday's conversation with Sarah about male genitalia and looking at the real photos in the book, she had needed to frig herself very vigorously. The slender cucumber Sarah had sliced into today's salad had previously brought Carole a great deal of pleasure! Karl would taste her sex juices in that way, at least.

She had imagined watching the scene of the two naive young people when she inserted the slender cucumber, and savored the stretching of her pussy, and had orgasmed three times as she used the vegetable as a dildo.

The conversation with Sarah had been very welcome. It satisfied a portion of Carole's erotic needs, in a voyeuristic sort of way. Ever since the realization that her daughter had handled her nephew's genitals, Carole had remained partially aroused. She couldn't wait to hear more about it. She not only was NOT going to chastise her daughter's naive sexuality, she was going to fantasize about it! And, perhaps, she would guide it.

"We have some quiet time now, Sarah. Let's go over the rest of what happened between you and Jon, OK?

Sarah began from the beginning, explaining about Jonathan's worrisome aching in his testicles. His fear that I could be cancerous. His request for her help. Her decision to help him out, using her new textbooks as guides.

Carole vicariously experienced the naive sexuality as her daughter recounted the story. She interrupted the narrative by asking questions about Jonathan's genitals. She wasn't really interested in Jonathan, but hearing the description of his anatomy, and the story of how Sarah had handled and examined and masturbated him was exquisite to her. She felt her skin flush with heat, and her own vagina warm and moisten.

When Sarah mentioned that she had promised that her cousin Jon could see her nakedness, Carole became thoughtful. How should she advise her daughter? Should she forbid it? What guidelines, if any, should she give to Sarah?

Her permission or recommendation would have impact on the lives of her daughter and her nephew. And probably on herself. She wanted to convince herself that it would go no further.

Was it truly natural for young people to explore like this, or was it mankind's reprobate nature? Would she be encouraging sinfulness if she permitted Sarah to show herself to her cousin? Or would it be 'natural'? Jonathan and Sarah were both so very sheltered and naive. If Carole gave approval to their explorations, would it be helpful or hurtful in the long run?

She wanted to do the right thing.

She wanted to be 'right'

At the same time, she was aware that she was aroused by the possibilities. She had fantasized about the two youngsters while she masturbated. She had made pictures in her imagination of watching the two of them. It strongly aroused her.