Hole in the Wall

"I can tell there's a hole in your heart, as well, Alicia. And I...I think I could help...patch that up...too. If you'd give me a chance."

Alicia stopped looking at him and turned away yet again as she thanked him again for everything.

"It was my pleasure," he replied as he picked up what was left over and put it in the plastic bag he brought it in.

"Oh. What time do you start work?" Alicia asked.

"Eight o'clock. But Mom's always in by 7:30. You don't need to get there that early, but...."

"I'll be there at 7:30," Alicia told him, finally able to smile again. She still couldn't think straight, but she was starting to recover and already felt a little better.

"The plumbers don't stop by the office unless they need to put inventory in their vans. We just go straight to our first jobs. But I'll stop by to see how you're doing. If that's okay."

"I...I'd like that," Alicia told him as her heart rate settled down.

"All right. I'll uh, I'll see you then, okay?"

"Bye, Jon. And...thank you."

He smiled, nodded, then opened the door and walked out leaving Alicia alone again with her thoughts. And feelings. A tangled mess of feelings she desperately needed to sort out.

She looked at the digital clock on the stove and knew her mom was still up as she reached for her phone.

"What's wrong, honey?" her mom said when she answered.

"I...I have a job."

"A job? Oh, my goodness! That's wonderful! I want to hear all about it."

"And a date," her daughter said, her voice trailing off as she recalled everything that had just happened.

"Well. Now that is very interesting! Why don't you start with where you're going on this date and with whom?"

"It's more an offer than an actual date. I haven't said 'yes' just yet, but he asked me before he left."

"He?"

"Jon. The plumber."

"The...very young plumber?"

Her mom wasn't teasing, but Alicia experienced the same feelings she'd been having all day which included both the confusion and the excitement.

"Yes. That one."

"So is the job also connected with this Jon fellow of yours?"

"He...he's not...mine, Mom. But yes. His mother hired me."

"Wait. You met his mother today, too?"

Alicia started talking again, and this time she went on for nearly a half hour. Unlike her one-way conversation with Jon, her mom asked a lot of questions and offered her opinion or advice as needed, but even after all that, Alicia was still just as confused if not more so.

"What should I do?" Alicia asked after they'd gone over the day's events in detail.

"You take the job. That's the easy part. Then take it slowly with Jon. Just remember, you don't owe him anything for getting you the job, and you paid him for the time he spent fixing the leak. It's not like you have to go out with him as payment for repairing the wall."

"No, I...I know that. It's just that if he were even a little older, I'd be thrilled."

"But he's not, honey. And the difference in your ages will never change. So either you'll like him for who he is or you won't. But if you never get to know him you'll never find out."

"So you're saying I should go out with him."

"No, I'm telling you that's up to you. But I've never heard you talk about anyone like this since...."

She didn't say her former son-in-law's name after the pause.

"And it wasn't all about his good looks. You seem to really like this young man, honey, and if he's a nice as you've made him seem, don't you think you owe it yourself to at least see if there's anything more to this? Worst case you enjoy a nice meal and have a pleasant evening out, right?"

"Even though he's...."

Alicia couldn't make herself say the number out loud, but she didn't need to as her mother fully understood.

"Yes. Even though."

After a 3-4 second pause, Alicia said, "I think you're right. He is a very nice person, and at the very least, I'm sure I'd enjoy spending another hour or two with him."

"For what it's worth, I agree."

Finally get some small sense of clarity, Alicia remembered something else.

"Oh. Thank you for the extra money, Mom. It was very kind of you."

"I love being able to help you out, sweetheart. And I hope this little talk has been helpful, too."

"It has. And Mom? I'm so grateful to have you as my mother and as my best friend."

"Okay. If you don't stop, you're going to make me cry," her mom told her.

"We don't need any more of that, do we?"

Her mother understood. They'd both cried many times after the man they both loved so much died, and at some point, crying stopped being helpful and only made them sad.

"No. We've done more than our share of that, haven't we?" her mother agreed.

"Okay, so I'll call you tomorrow evening after my first day and tell you how it went."

"I can't wait! And I really do hope you enjoy working there."

"I have the impression I will. But even if it isn't much fun, the pay and benefits are too good to pass up. I'd love to have a nursing job, but with so many years going by since I got my degree, I have to face the fact that I'm not qualified to much of anything in that field."

"I'm just thrilled you found something, honey."

Nancy told her daughter she loved her, wished her good luck, then ended the call leaving Alicia to relive the day's events several more times before she went to bed around 11 o'clock.

Her alarm was set for 6am, but Alicia was wide awake ten minutes before that. She threw off the covers and sat up in bed and smiled. She had a job, and when she thought about the possibility of having something else, she couldn't wait to start her day.

By 7 o'clock she'd showered, dressed, had something to eat, brushed her teeth and was ready to go. Traffic was bad but not quite as bad as it was a few miles north in San Diego. Even so, she pulled into the parking lot at 7:22 and looked at the building and the company vans off to its side in a fenced-in area.

From the outside everything looked neat, clean and well organized. As she got to the door, Alicia took a deep breath then opened it and stepped inside for the first time.

"Good morning!" a familiar-sounding voice said rather cheerfully.

"Jon. Hi. I didn't expect you here so early," Alicia told him as an older woman got up from behind the desk and walked her way.

"Alicia? You know my mom, Nancy, by phone," Jon said as the other woman smiled and stuck her hand out.

"I do. And it's a pleasure to meet you in person."

"Same here. And you're even more attractive than you looked on the phone," Nancy told her with a warm, welcoming smile.

Jon leaned her way then said, "I agree."

Alicia's tummy fluttered as Nancy offered her a cup of coffee.

"I had two already but thank you."

"Okay. Then how about we get started? We've got a full day, and there's pretty much some of everything we do around her on the schedule. So if you're ready to dive in...."

"Yes. Absolutely!" Alicia told her enthusiastically, feeling at home and loving the office environment which seemed to be just her and Nancy. And to her pleasant surprise the office was bright and clean and nothing like what she'd imagined with dark paneling and a dank smell.

"Before you get too busy, I was wondering if I might be able to stop by and maybe take you to lunch," Jon said to Alicia but was actually looking at his mom. He knew she'd say 'yes', but she wasn't just his mom, she was his boss, and as much as he loved her he also respected her.

Alicia then looked at Nancy who again smiled and told her that would be just fine.

"If I feel comfortable enough with the job to get away...I'd like that," she told the handsome younger man who'd asked her.

"You're going to be swimming for a few days, so just go, relax for a bit, and have a nice time," Nancy told her.

"Okay. Then...I accept," she said to Jon, a warm smile on her pretty face.

"All right. So I'll see you around one or so?"

"I'll look forward to it," Alicia told him, as Nancy watched the interaction between them.

Alicia was clearly older than her son, but Nancy was a very good judge of character, and she already had a very positive first impression about her new employee. That didn't mean she was ready to accept her into the family just yet, but she hadn't felt any kind of negative vibe of any sort and didn't believe she would.

When Jon showed up at 1:10 Alicia was so swamped with new information she barely noticed.

"Hey there," he finally said.

"Oh, my goodness. What time is it?" Alicia asked.

Nancy laughed and asked her if she doing okay.

"There's just SO much to learn!" she replied with that 'I'm dying over here look' on her face.

"You're doing great, Alicia. Really. Now go and get something to eat."

Nancy looked at her son then asked, "Can you bring something back for me?"

"Of course. Anything in particular?"

"Anything but liver and onions," his mom said with a laugh.

They saw the look on Alicia's face and Jon told her that was an inside joke.

"Ah, okay. But for the record I'm not a fan, either," she said, not sure if she should even comment.

"My dad was the liver and onions lover," Jon explained as his mom shooed him and Alicia out.

"Be back in an hour, Mom."

"You two have fun!" she told them both as she wondered how far this might go and how she felt about it.

Nancy knew her son had never been serious about any one girl, and there'd been so many since his freshman year of high school that she couldn't recall more than a handful of names. But she could tell there was something different about the way her son looked at Alicia, and that caused her to think about something she'd never mentioned to Jon but wanted so badly it hurt--grandchildren. Just one would be enough. One cute, chubby little ball of fuzz to spoil rotten and her life would be complete. Or at least a lot closer to it. The death of her husband had left a huge, gaping hole in her life, but a grandchild--boy or girl--would go a long way toward patching it up.

To Alicia's great delight, Jon was a much a gentleman as he was a 'hunk'. He unfailingly opened her doors and helped her get seated at the restaurant. It was a small, cozy local diner that had an ocean theme to it, and Jon assured her it had the best fish and chips in town.

"Not that you need to try them," he added with a smile. "You obviously watch your um...girlish figure."

Alicia smiled and knew French fries were a rare treat for her. Breaded anything was even more so. But because Jon ordered them, Alicia did, too, and after taking a small first bite she was glad she did.

"Oh, my goodness. You weren't kidding!"

"Told ya," he replied as he chomped off half of a large piece of fish in one bite.

Alicia couldn't help but think of his chiseled stomach and asked something she probably shouldn't.

"How do you keep so...fit? You know, eating stuff like this?"

Jon chuckled then said, "All things in moderation."

He paused then patted his stomach as he said, "Except for crunches."

His smile and the way he said it made her laugh, and laughing made her feel even better.

"May I tell you something?" she asked, now feeling more confident.

"Sure. Anything," he replied as he popped the rest of the fish in his mouth.

"You know the old 'plumber's crack' joke, right?"

He laughed again and told her he did. She then went on to tactfully explain how she kind of...peeked...when he was under the sink and what she saw.

Another laugh preceded him telling her that's precisely why he rarely ate anything like this.

He got more serious then asked if he could ask her something.

"Oh. Yes. Of...of course," she replied a little nervously.

"At the risk of again moving too fast, you do know I meant it when I told you I like you, right? As in...like you...like you?"

She was 37 years old and yet felt 15 years younger as her cheeks flushed as she looked down at her plate.

"You...you kind of mentioned that."

"It's because I do," he told her in a quiet voice she hadn't heard before.

When she still hadn't looked at him several seconds later Jon asked with real concern, "Am I making you uncomfortable, Alicia?"

"No. I...I just don't...I don't understand. That's all."

"Why? Because I'm younger than you? Is that the problem?"

He hesitated then asked, "Or is that you don't find me attractive or interesting or something else?"

She immediately looked at him then said, "No. You're...very attractive."

"Am I...shallow?"

The way he tilted his head and the way he spoke told her the question was serious.

"Again, no. You're very well spoken and not...shallow...in the least."

Jon thought for a moment then asked another question.

"Are you...seeing someone?"

"Me? No! Heavens no. No one."

"Whew. I was worried there for a second," he told her, the relief in his voice obvious.

"It isn't any of those things," she told him. She started to say more when their server interrupted and asked if she could bring them anything else.

Jon looked at Alicia who'd barely touched her food then said, "May I get another order of fish and chips to go?"

As she walked away Jon said, "It seemed like you were going to say something else."

He smiled then added, "Like what is about me that you don't care for."

Flustered and confused, Alicia started and stopped then finally asked him, "Will you tell me how old you are? Please?"

He thought about asking her to guess, but Jon could tell she was serious and even concerned. So he faced the music and told her without any equivocation.

"I'm 24," he told her quietly but with confidence.

"Oh...my...god," she nearly whispered.

"Look, I know you're over 30, Alicia, and it...."

"Over 30? Jon, I'm...."

Suddenly she didn't want to say it out loud and stopped.

"Older than that. By...quite a bit. A lot older than that, actually."

"And?"

"And? What do you mean 'and'?" she asked with a little shake of the head.

"Is that supposed to bother me or make me stop feeling like I do about you?"

Alicia's heart sped up again when she looked at him. He was so handsome it hurt. And the look on his face made her want him to kiss so badly it hurt even worse. But she was still a whopping 13 years older than him, and as much as her heart wanted to give in her brain wouldn't let her.

"Jon? When you were born I was...babysitting," she told him, feeling good about finding a way to explain this without having to say her age.

"You may have noticed, but I'm not exactly a baby anymore," he told her in that quiet, confident voice that sent chills through her, along with that smile that made her knees weak.

She looked down again then quietly said, "No. No, you're not."

"Alicia?"

He waited until she looked at him. When she did he put his left hand across the table. Alicia knew he wanted to take her hand in his, and after looking at it for several seconds, she felt her hand--almost on its own--lift off her lap and end up in his.

He smiled again then told her he'd never had to beg for a date before.

The touch of his hand on hers electrified her body and the latest smile on his gorgeous face made her...very aware of a special place that was now...glistening.

"And I'm not going to beg you. I like you, Alicia. I want to go out with you and get to know you, but if the age difference is such a big deal you can't handle it...."

Her voice almost failed her, but she was able to talk even as he was trying to finish his thought.

"When...when you turn...27...I'll be...."

She looked at his hand for a moment then said the word.

"Forty."

Jon waited for her to look at him, and when she did he smiled and squeezed her hand then told her, "And you'll still be you, Alicia."

He squeezed her hand then added, "And you'll still be beautiful."

She slowly pulled her hand away, looked at her phone then said, "We...we should really get going, don't you think? I don't want to be late on my first day."

Jon smiled yet again in spite of what had just happened then said, "No worries. I know the boss."

It was obvious he was waiting for an answer, and now that her excuse of having to get back ASAP had failed, she knew she needed to talk to him.

"I've had younger men flirt with me before...when I was married."

"And?" he asked again.

"I just never took them seriously."

"Okay. But I'm not...them," Jon told her in that now-familiar quiet voice.

"No. No, you're not."

"So will you go out with me?" he asked, tilting his head a bit to get her to look at him.

Before she could reply he said, "If you say 'no' it won't have any effect on your...employment situation."

He laughed quietly then said, "I'll be seriously disappointed, but you'll still have your job."

She felt better when he laughed, and as she laughed along with him, she recalled the conversation she'd had with her mom.

As she remembered her words, Alicia found herself saying, "Okay. I'll go out with you."

By the time her brain processed what it had blurted out she no longer felt worried. Or at least not as worried.

"Yeah? That's...that's fantastic!" he told her, an even bigger smile on his face.

"So now can we leave?" she asked, feeling both relieved and anxious about not wanting to be late, Jon's relationship to the owner notwithstanding.

"Sure thing," he said as he got out $25 and left it on the table. It covered the cost of their meals and well over a 20% tip.

Their server saw him lay the money down, and as they got up, she picked it up along with the check and said, "Thank you very much."

She scribbled something on the bill then handed it to Jon and said, "Call me. Anytime."

Again, something inside Alicia started her mouth moving before her brain could analyze what was going on and it said, "Um...he's with me...sweetie."

Alicia took Jon's hand then said, "Thank you for lunch, honey."

Immediately getting it and happy to play along he replied, "Anything for the woman I love."

The young woman made an 'ugh' sound, shook her head, then walked off leaving her former customers still holding hands and laughing.

"I like it when you call me 'honey," Jon said before quickly adding, "honey."

Feeling happy, Alicia laughed, but it stopped just as quickly when Jon her way and kissed her again. At first too surprised to even react, she just stood there like she'd done at her place, but after a half second or so, she kissed him back.

It was maybe two seconds altogether, but the kiss sent another wave of hormones coursing through her body, adding to the growing wetness below.

They held hands until they got to Jon's car where their eyes met again.

"Thank you. For lunch," Alicia told him.

She tried not to laugh as she also said, "Honey."

Jon didn't kiss her this time, but he did something maybe even nicer when he put his arms around her and hugged her. It took Alicia a second or so to respond, but when she held him back, it felt...right. She rested her head in the crook of his neck as they held one another for several more seconds.

As Jon slowly let go, Alicia quietly said, "That was nice."

"It was," Jon agreed as he opened the door for her.

As he drove them back to the office Alicia had two very conflicting thoughts running through her mind. One was that she was 'dating' a much-younger man, and that thought thrilled and excited her as she stole a quick glance to remind herself of just how attractive Jon was. The other was berating her for being naive, foolish, and desperate for dating a man who was so much younger than her.

That much-younger man seemed to know she was deep in thought and gave her time to think. But about a mile away from their destination he asked her if she wanted to share her thoughts.

Alicia tried to smile as she said, "I...I really need to sort through them before I try and share them."

She forced herself to actually smile then told Jon that if she didn't he might think she was schizophrenic. Or worse.