Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 103

"You know how it is. Some songs are obnoxious, but still get stuck in your head. Spirits really don't like that, it can haunt them for centuries." Mike turned and pushed her up the hill. "Go. Now!"

The Night Marchers made good time up the mountain, but Mike got advance notice from the trees every time some of them drew near. Though the banshee's cry wasn't enough to guide them to their eternal rest, it absolutely disrupted their ability to maintain form in the waning light of day. By the time he and Leilani made it up the hill, both of them were out of breath. The whole hillside had erupted in drums and rhythmic chanting.

Ratu and Wallace met them at the edge of the clearing, pulling both of them to safety as spears shattered against stones that the naga summoned from the earth as barriers. They ducked beneath a rope adorned with tiny, decorated flags, and then collapsed in exhaustion.

The drums drew close, and Mike tensed up as the first shadows appeared. Dozens of spirits followed, wielding ancient weapons of war. Though the chanting came from the ancestral Hawaiians, their lips never moved as they wandered around the clearing. Anytime a marcher would approach one of the warded ropes, it would become disoriented and walk away.

Ratu knelt by Mike's side to help him up. "As long as you keep your voice down, they won't know we're here," she whispered. As if to illustrate her point, Wallace picked up a stone and threw it away from the camp. It struck a distant tree, and a bunch of spirits immediately headed off in its direction.

"Princess." Francois knelt down by Leilani's side. "I have apparently failed you and am no longer worthy to be your guardian."

"It is not your fault," she replied. "The Caretaker was able to scare them off using his dark magic."

"Then I am in his debt." Francois looked at Mike, but his eyes remained cold. "Thank you, Caretaker."

Mike didn't bother replying. The man was so full of shit that it wasn't worth his time. He rose from a crouch and surveyed the camp. Protective runes had been carved into the trees, and glowing rods had been planted in the ground. A light mist formed around the ground just outside the camp as the Night Marchers continued their hunt, allowing them to vanish into the shadows at will.

"So they can't see us?" Mike moved toward the edge of the clearing. The nearby spirits didn't react to his presence.

"It's a combination of spells," said Ratu. "They consecrated the ground using four different methods and I used one of my own. Though the spirits suspect we are nearby, they cannot see or touch us as long as the barrier remains unbroken."

"Thank the gods." Mike followed Ratu over to a small cluster of stones that were still wet and dirty from where she had pulled them from the earth. Quetzalli sat on one, her sad gaze lingering on a spirit that flickered out of existence as it accidentally crossed the barrier.

"They are unhappy," she said, her eyes misty. "Can you not feel their sadness?"

"I really can't." He sat next to the dragon and took her hand. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, causing platinum locks to bounce across her shoulders. "I'm really not. It's a lingering sadness, like something terrible has happened. There's also anger. Such is the existence of a lost soul."

Unsure how to help the dragon, he just sat with her. After a tense hour of monitoring the night marchers, the Order quietly set up camp for the evening. Due to the hasty assembly of the campsite, this meant awkward placement of the tents as well as clearing out some additional brush inside the perimeter to make room for tents. While Francois was busy with his tent, Mike asked the local spiders to drop down and check on the man just to see how he was doing. Though none of the arachnids bit him, quite the stream of French profanity came out of the Captain as he struggled to erect his tent.

When the stars emerged, nobody could enjoy them. The number of night marchers had increased, and there were at least a hundred swarming the area, searching for their prey. Dinner was cold food consumed in silence. Ratu, Quetzalli, and Mike all sat at their makeshift table, eating quietly as the Order established sleeping arrangements among themselves.

Stars continued to blossom across the darkened sky. Ratu summoned a couple of small fireballs to hover nearby and provide light. The Order had lights of their own, which turned them into mere shadows as they moved among their tents. Mike was surprised when one shadow turned out to be Ingrid limping over to join them. The mage sat slowly with a wince. She made a sigh of annoyance when Wallace came over to help her.

"I'm fine," she groused, then waved him off. "I don't need a nurse."

"Whatever you say," he replied. "But I did pack the outfit." He winked at Mike, then wandered back to his tent. Ingrid looked at Quetzalli and Ratu for a moment, then turned her full attention to Mike.

"Thank you for earlier," she said, then dipped her head. "I don't know that I would have made it without you."

"I'm sure that somebody would have helped out." He looked at the Order team that had come with them. "At least, once the marchers showed up."

"Wallace would have dropped everything he was carrying, it's true. But we would have been fucked. Half of the stuff we used to build the ward was in his bag. He likes to be prepared."

"A good motto," Mike agreed solemnly.

Ingrid looked up at the sky and sighed. "I've never heard of so many night marchers showing up in one place," she said, her gaze on the first twinkling stars up above. "They're restless spirits, but certainly not this aggressive."

Mike looked out into the forest. The night marchers were nearly invisible now, he could only see them if they stepped into a beam of light. His connection to the woods and the spiders allowed him to sense their passage, though. They melted in and out of existence, singing their songs of war.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again. I know we kind of come off as bastards, but the Order really are decent people." Ingrid started to rise.

"Do decent people hire mercenaries to break into other people's homes?" He watched the woman carefully as she looked at him in confusion.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm talking about the guys on my front lawn. The Sons of Sin. Kind of a dumb name, when you think about it."

Genuine confusion appeared on Ingrid's face. "I don't know anything about mercenaries on your lawn."

"And perhaps you don't. But I do know that breaking in was the plan this whole time." He leaned back in his makeshift seat and crossed his arms. "And don't bother denying it. If you do, I'll just ask you again while holding that rock you keep in your pocket."

Ingrid's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water until she closed her eyes and groaned. "This isn't about to become a problem, is it?" She opened her eyes and looked toward where her companions were.

"If you're asking if I'm about to freak out and start a fight, the answer is no. You are safe with us. For now, anyway." Visible relief crossed Ingrid's face as she put a hand in her pocket. "What happens next is up to you, really."

"So you've known for a while."

"He has," Ratu replied. "Long before we ever came out here with you."

"Then why come?"

"That's what he does." Quetzalli smiled in Mike's direction. "He helps. We're all here to help."

"But on our own terms," Mike added. "So I ask again. What sort of decent people try to rob a man while he's helping them?"

Ingrid sighed and looked up into the sky once more, pondering her answer. "The answer isn't simple," she began, but Mike cut her off.

"It really is, though. You guys lured me out here and intend to rob me. Right now, you've got a team of mercenaries in a Command Center ready to break into my home. They've got guns, Ingrid. Guns. Your organization told me that you were there to protect my family in my absence, and they planned this instead." He was careful to keep the anger out of his voice to avoid catching anyone else's attention.

"I don't understand. Why admit you know this? You sound so calm."

"Oh, I'm far from calm. As for why I told you, I want you to grab on to your magic crystal so that this message comes across loud and clear. Go on, grab it." He waited for Ingrid to stick her hand in her pocket again. "You see, I believe that everyone is capable of good things, even when they've lost the ability to tell the difference between what's right or not. Even though your people scheme against me, I've shown you kindness. Okay, so maybe I jerked you around a little bit. I have my flaws."

This elicited a snort out of Ratu. Ingrid, on the other hand, was hanging onto his every word.

"Tomorrow, we're probably going to make it to my property. I really don't know what's going to happen next, but I will say that I don't trust anyone outside my family. When we get there, I'm expecting a big revelation, followed by an even bigger betrayal. Maybe you all draw wands on me, or maybe that bag of dicks snoring over there tries to kill me. Who knows? It's inevitable."

"We weren't planning to betray you," Ingrid countered. "We still need your help."

"And you'll get it," he replied. "This situation involving whatever waits for us up the mountain, I'm going to fix it. And when I do, I'm going to ensure that my solution doesn't harm Leilani's people. You have my word on that. I could just say fuck you and walk away, but I won't. And do you know why? Because even though the line between good and bad is blurry sometimes, I still remember how to step back and actually look at the damned line. Can you really say the same about the Order, anymore? What about yourself?"

Ingrid was silent, her eyes boring into his. Mike leaned forward and held his fingers up together, forming a streamer of sparks that warped into a tiny glowing ball that hovered over his fingertips.

"Life is a path, and we wander off of it sometimes. That's what family and friends are for, to help guide us back when we stray. They act as a guiding star." The tiny ball ascended away from them toward the night sky, flickering as it expanded and changed colors. It eventually split into smaller motes of light that vanished among the leaves. "My family are my stars. Every single one of them. If the Order decides in their infinite wisdom to take one of them from me, well..."

"The consequences would be dire." Ratu completed his sentence with a smile, but her eyes had narrowed to eerie slits. "You assume that we have stepped into your world, a place we don't understand, but it is actually the other way around. Your Order claims dedication to their precious balance, but this man here epitomizes it. His world is far larger than anything you've encountered, and it's only going to get bigger. It is you who have stepped into his world."

"Later tonight, when you find a way to magically contact your Director to report in or whatever, I want you to tell him something." Mike leaned toward Ingrid, his expression now serious. She shifted uncomfortably, but didn't move away. "My family never needed protection. It's your people who did. Whatever that little man has planned for my home, you should know that the people he put on my lawn are nothing more than a handful of mice tossed into the lion's den. If they poke around too much, if they decide that they're in charge of where the line is drawn, there won't be anything left of them by the time we get back."

Thunder rumbled ominously overhead, causing Ingrid to look up. When her gaze returned to Mike, there was fear in her eyes.

"Why tell me all this, then?" she asked. "Why let me know you're onto us? You still haven't explained why."

"Do you remember when you took the time to explain how my magic affects normal people? That conversation was the result of a woman who cares about others, even if I think some of your values are misaligned. The Order is broken, Ingrid. Something fundamental has been lost, and until good people like you realize that, it's only going to get worse." His eyes softened as he scooted forward, sitting on the edge of his rock. "It's okay to be broken. It's not okay to take it out on everybody else."

Ingrid watched him carefully for nearly a minute, then nodded and staggered to her feet, refusing help from Quetzalli. The mage limped back over to her side of the campground, disappearing into the darkness. Mike watched her go, then looked over at Leilani, who was about thirty feet away. She sat next to a small fire, her knees clutched to her chest and misery on her face. Francois had turned in early, his booted feet hanging out of the open flap of their shared tent. The mermaid princess made eye contact with Mike and then looked away as if in shame. She had been silent all evening since her rescue from the marchers.

"That was a little heavy handed," commented Ratu, breaking his focus. "But necessary."

"I have a good feeling about her," Mike replied, and meant it. "I don't know what it is, but I see some of myself in her. By the way, nice touch with the thunder."

Quetzalli winked in response.

"You think she could be our ally?" asked Ratu.

"Maybe not. But I don't think she has to be our enemy." He looked back toward the Captain's tent as Leilani reluctantly crawled inside. Thinking back on what the princess had told him, he wondered how he might get her away from Francois. If anybody here was going to be an ally, it was going to be the mermaid. The Order couldn't be allowed to follow him onto his property, and neither could Francois.

Leilani was a different story. Maybe it was because she had been honest with him. Maybe it was because she wasn't human. Regardless, he would have to figure out how to steal her away once they reached the boundary of his property. If nothing else, it would help build a bridge of trust between him and the merfolk kingdom. Well, if they didn't decide to murder him for abducting their princess. But that was a problem for future Mike.

It wasn't long before Quetzalli announced that she was going to bed. Mike snuggled outside with Ratu, both of them watching the Milky Way crawl across the sky for another hour. The naga whispered stories to him about the forgotten constellations of her people as she pressed herself against him for warmth. Eventually, it was time to sleep, and the two of them crawled inside the tent. Mike ended up between Quetzalli and Ratu, the naga's lower body transforming into thick reptilian coils that wrapped around his legs.

In the Dreamscape, he was able to properly check in with Kisa. Apparently Beth had gone to dinner with the Director, but that was the last the catgirl had heard of it. The Order and their mercenaries had officially experienced their first proper dose of Jenny, and were now huddled up inside their Command Center like frightened children. He and Kisa exchanged information and took a walk on the beach, the catgirl was telling him all about how Grace and Callisto had been playing tag in the house all day. Zel had wanted the boy to come home, but he snuck away from the centaurs when the house had gone on lockdown. Death was now wandering the halls of the Radley home pretending he couldn't see Grace so she could set ambushes for him with Callisto's help. Mike strongly suspected that somebody had let them watch Home Alone, but Kisa wouldn't fess up to it.

The Dreamscape shattered with a scream, and Mike opened his eyes to hear panic and terror immediately outside his tent. By the time he pushed through the flaps, the forest had told him everything he needed to know.

The night marchers had broken through.

Sliding into his shoes and making sure Opal was in his pocket, he crawled outside, followed closely by Ratu and Quetzalli. Ratu summoned balls of fire that she threw into the air. The flames cast an eerie glow on the Order's campsite, revealing several dark forms locked in battle with the perimeter guards.

"How did they get in?" he asked, staring in horror as a mage was dragged into the darkness by a trio of shadows.

"Doesn't matter." Ratu made a series of gestures, then surrounded her body in a fiery glow. "We make our stand here."

He nodded and turned toward Francois' tent. The flap was open, and the soft glow of Ratu's fireballs revealed that the tent was empty.

"It looks like our princess is in another castle," he declared, then let out an angry hiss as a night marcher drew near. The spirit vanished from sight as Mike escalated his tone, using banshee magic to scare the marcher off.

"Watch my back," he said, then knelt down and grabbed hold of a tree root. Closing his eyes, he sent his awareness out. The forest could feel the passage of the night marchers as they walked the land, and Mike felt a small cluster of them almost a hundred yards uphill. Based on their movements, it seemed as if they were chasing somebody.

As for the Order, their team had dissolved. Whatever organization they had was now destroyed as men and women were chased into the darkness and hunted down. A spray of golden light illuminated Ingrid, who was lying against the base of a tree while using a wand to blast away attackers. Mike ran to her side and barely dodged the arcane bolt she tossed his way.

"Not a marcher," he shouted, keeping his hands up where she could see him. When a night marcher stepped around the tree, Mike sang a high pitched note that caused the spirit to burst into motes of darkness that sank into the ground. "Where's Wallace?"

"I don't know." Ingrid tried to stand, but it seemed like her ankle was still knitting. "The marchers shouldn't have gotten in. We're all scattered."

"We can worry about that later. C'mon." He grabbed her by the hand and pulled. She had a limp, but was able to move on her own. "They're hunting Leilani."

"Fuck." Ingrid pulled a spare wand from her pocket and held it in her free hand. "Can you carry me again?"

He knelt down and she hopped onto his back, both arms extended over his shoulders. Ratu and Quetzalli moved to both sides of him as he began a cautious jog through the woods with Ratu's fire leading the way. Small groups of marchers moved to intercept them, but Ingrid's magic and Mike's song was enough to chase them away. This greatly antagonized the spirits, and he could feel them forming a hunting party in the woods behind them.

Stepping over the mangled body of a knight, they passed between two trees and emerged on the edge of a ridge overlooking the valley below. The trees whispered to him, telling him stories of a woman of the ocean who had fled in terror from multiple pursuers.

"She's up this way," he said. "Is everyone still okay?"

"I fear no spirit," Ratu declared. "Even if they were to surround us, I would burn the forest down around their feet to drive them off."

"Let's save that plan for last," Mike muttered. "But I appreciate the energy."

"They can be hurt by magic, but never truly defeated," Ingrid added. "Even if you take one out, it will come back eventually. They're like the terminators of the spirit world."

"Terminators?" asked Quetzalli.

"Movie reference," Mike replied. "Killer robots."

"They should have stopped after the second one," added Ingrid. "We need to keep moving. Leilani is in danger."

"Sure thing, Sarah Connor." Mike jogged up the ridge, once again using Ratu's magic and the forest to guide him. The ravine to his left was so deep, it was just an inky void. Other than the stars above, the only other lights he could see were from cruise ships out on the horizon.

They were nearing Leilani's location when Mike felt the mood of the forest shift. Blood had been spilled ahead. He came to a stop and set Ingrid down.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Something is wrong." He put his hand on the closest tree and shut his eyes. He could sense the night marchers massing downhill, only to be frightened away by Ratu's magic. The spirits' passage did nothing to disturb the woods. This was their home. However, whatever lay ahead was not spiritual in nature. Branches had been broken and roots trampled. The spiders chittered in excitement as heavy booted feet disturbed their nests, and the air was filled with the sound of clashing steel.