Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 041

"Killing him won't work," Ratu said. "When you slay a demon, typically it goes back to Hell. So if you were to kill him, he would likely just reappear in his mirror world where he had been trapped. There is magic that can do it, but I don't know that we have anything lying around that could do it."

"Damn. Really, we can't just kill him?" Mike laid his dagger on the table. "This was able to hurt Cecilia. Would this do anything?"

"You could hurt him, but it would only be temporary and he would heal," Ratu answered.

"But what if it was a fatal injury?" Mike pointed to the side of his own skull. "If I could lodge it in his brain or something? Even if he heals, we could shut him down that way, right?"

Ratu frowned. "Maybe, but demons are very good at shapeshifting. You would have to catch him off guard. It sounds strange, but it's no difficult feat for a demon to move its internal organs around to avoid injury."

"Okay, so Oliver has a demon healing factor and we need to stab him in a brain that moves around. What else do we know about him?"

"Demons always have to tell the truth," Zel added, holding up one of her notebooks. "They love to play games with mortals. Also, they are completely immune to fire and heat, on account of being from Hell. Oliver's dimension is traversable by others, but Oliver himself cannot leave. I even have some notes from Beth about her time there, so can tell you how to leave without a portal. There's a reflecting pool on his side, and I even have the words to get out. The place was a large garden with animal statues and she even drew me a crude map." Zel flipped her notebook over to show everyone a drawing on it. "Once there, he is likely to be in his pavilion over here." She tapped on the drawing with a finger.

"Okay, good, we can use that." He looked at the others. "If we're going to stab him in the head with the dagger, what do we do to keep him off balance? Between us, Yuki and I should be able to do something to keep him off guard long enough to play pin the knife in the demon. Any ideas?"

Everyone looked at each other, but no ideas were offered. Mike sighed, sitting back in his seat. They needed a plan, and they were going nowhere fast.

"I have a question." Yuki had pulled a few cards from her sleeve, cycling through them. "Could a demon hurt a demon?"

"I mean... yes, I suppose." Ratu leaned forward with interest. "You have something?"

"I think I might. I could cause a distraction, which might let us disable him." Yuki looked across the room. "I would like to point out that even if we take Beth from Oliver, he is going to be beyond pissed. We wouldn't actually be solving the real problem, just putting a band-aid on it. Even if we plant that dagger in his skull and bury him deep in the dirt, the Society can go back and forth to his world, remember? That's how they put Beth there in the first place. They will go looking for their magic eight-ball when he doesn't show up when called, pull the knife out of him, and then there will be literal hell to pay."

Mike felt his heart sink. Yuki was right. They needed an even bigger solution, but what? What could be done to destroy a demon or even get rid of the Society?

The room suddenly cooled, causing Mike to shiver. He rubbed his arms for warmth and saw Ratu shifting uncomfortably.

"Could you ease up?" Ratu asked, squinting at Yuki. "It's freezing in here."

"That isn't me," Yuki replied. Everyone went quiet at the sound of soft cotton feet pitter-pattering across the floor. A bundle of fabric flew through the air, and Jenny tumbled to a stop in the middle of the table, causing everyone to jump.

"Jenny!" Mike put a hand to his chest. "You scared the crap out of me."

I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure, the doll said, her voice echoing in his skull. Yuki suddenly sat up straight as if a bolt of lightning had traveled through her body.

"Um, yeah, I'm sure it would." He was happy to see her active, but this wasn't helping. "Do you have an idea we can use?"

And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing. Jenny looked around the table, then settled on Yuki. If he smiled much more, the ends of his mouth might meet behind, and then I don't know what would happen to his head! I'm afraid it would come off!

"Jenny." Mike let out a sigh. "Jenny, I know you're trying to be helpful, but if you know something, we need a straight answer."

"No. No, you don't." Yuki held her hands up for silence. "In fact, none of you do. She's quoting Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Why would she be doing that?"

"She's quoting that book? We had no idea," Mike admitted. "She's always been a bit weird about talking, no offense Jenny, but she was saying some really strange things once she got her hands on the emerald. Our theory was that she was having visions of the future, but now I wonder... was she quoting Alice this whole time?" He tilted his head. "Or maybe it was both? She referenced something that happened, actually. Sorry to say this, but I beheaded your Jabberwock." He winced as the words left him.

Yuki scowled but brushed it aside. "Yes, but why? Don't you see? Why that book? It's one of my favorites, I could rehearse it by heart if needed. It's why I made the Jabberwock, I felt like I was Alice and had been trapped through the looking glass. If she's having visions of the future, why not just tell us up front, why quote from the book?" Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, I think I get it."

"Get what?" Zel asked.

"The emerald had a piece of my soul in it. She can't be straight forward because of it. That book was my salvation, and I suspect Jenny has had a vision of what's to come, but is stuck sharing it through the words I love the most. Is that... is that right?"

Jenny approached Yuki, then bowed her head. Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

"Jenny," Yuki whispered. "A flame after it's been blown out... a smile that stretches all the way round... oh my god, you're brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!" She looked at Mike, her eyes lighting up in excitement. "I know what we have to do, but I'm going to need some help."

--

Hours later, they stood by the reflecting pool, their eyes on the untroubled waters. The rats had finished their examination, their teeth steadily grinding into the cold rock nearby. A blast of heat emerged from the hole they had chewed, and Mike found himself looking at a sky that made him think of dusk. He licked his lips as the hole widened, then looked over at Yuki for support.

"You sure this is going to work?" he asked.

"No." She frowned at him, the warm wind ruffling her hair. "But we're going to try anyway."

He clenched his jaw, waiting for the portal to be wide enough, then his eyes slid over to the reflecting pool. If what Zel's journal had suggested was true, Beth was going to exit the same way she came in, and the last thing they needed was for her statue to be hurled into the front of the house via the closet shortcut. On Yuki's advice, they had blocked off the closet door upstairs, which would render the shortcut inert.

"Remember. Don't eat or drink anything. You'll be stuck forever." It was one of the few things he could remember from Zel's list that hadn't been emphasized during their meeting.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Her lip curled up to reveal very sharp teeth. "I'll have other things to worry about."

"Okay, on my mark." He checked the time on his phone. "Ten minutes."

"You'll know that I'm there. Trust me." Yuki turned her face toward him, the light of the portal reflecting off her dark, green eyes. The reddish hue of Oliver's prison made her fur look orange in its light.

"Okay." He looked into the portal and took a deep breath then hopped in.

It was disorienting, the sensation of falling and then falling some more, but he gracefully landed in a crumpled heap on the other side. The crimson world he had viewed through the portal was gone, and now he stood in a beautiful garden. Scattered throughout were several statues of animals wearing fancy clothes, as if preparing for a tea party.

"Holy shit," he muttered, looking around. "Through the looking glass, indeed." He stood, dusting himself off. The animals in the garden nearby slowly turned to face him, and he found himself looking at a statue of a bird in a top hat. It regarded him with cold, lifeless eyes.

"Mr. Radley." Oliver's voice spoke directly in his ear, but the demon was nowhere to be seen. "This is a... surprise."

"Yeah, I'm here to talk about my friend and was wondering if we could have a friendly chat?"

"That dagger on your belt does not suggest a friendly chat."

"Yeah, well..." Mike touched the hilt with a grin. "From what I've been told, it would just piss you off."

Oliver laughed. "You are a brave man, Mr. Radley."

"Please. Call me Mike."

"Mike, then. Okay, I'm curious. Let's talk." The statues lifted arms, wings and snouts to point there way through the small hedge maze, and Mike followed. It didn't take him long to find the gazebo at the center of the floating island, and he fought hard to keep the surprise off his face when he arrived. A large pedestal had been built, and Beth was placed upon it, frozen in a defiant stance.

"As you can see, she is well cared for." Oliver appeared behind him, wearing a bright white button down shirt with a purple overcoat and a top hat. He waved a hand at the small table nearby. "I wasn't expecting company, but perhaps you would like some tea?"

"No thanks. I'm only here to talk."

"Well, I would like some tea." Oliver sat down at the table and poured himself a piping hot glass of a red liquid. "So what brings you here today?"

"Her." He pointed at Beth's statue. "I heard you pulled some kind of dirty trick and began messing with her head. Then you forced her to come here and I want her back."

"Interesting choice of words. I didn't force her, she made the choice." Oliver turned around, his face wistful. "Regrettably, that damn fox turned her to stone before I could properly enjoy her. But no matter. I have plenty of time to figure out how to restore her."

"Okay, well, let's try this the easy way. What do you want? In exchange for Beth."

Oliver grinned, setting down his teacup. "This little minx wandered into my lair not too long ago and thought to trick me out of what was rightfully mine. An unexpected side effect of our tryst was that she carried a piece of me inside of her. There's a lot I can do with a human soul to help me pass the time in a place like this, so you will find me hard pressed to think of something I want in exchange from her."

"Okay, new question. What do I have that is equal or greater in value?"

Oliver's yellow eyes flashed. "Ah, now that is the way we do things around here." He contemplated Mike for several seconds. "And what a fascinating collection of things that you have. Even you aren't aware of the powerful objects in your possession."

"Objects?" Mike put his hand on his chest. "I figured you would be interested in my soul or something."

"Bah, no." Oliver waved off Mike's comment. "Your soul is indeed very special, but does not make up for the high esteem in which I hold hers." He sipped at his tea with a grin. "In short, she is much hotter than you, so I have zero interest in what you have to offer."

"Oh." Mike picked a cup up off of the table and quickly set it back down. "So... what about these other things you are interested in?"

"Yes, well, about that. If I were to give you a list of any one of these items, it might prove problematic for me. These things are... complicated."

"Okay, you're just wasting my time then." Mike stood, the timer on his phone causing it to vibrate. "Is there anything I could do for you that would result in Beth coming back with me?"

"Yes, well, I—" his face darkened. "Someone else has just arrived. Mr. Radley, are you planning to take Beth from me by force?"

"Is it true that you can answer any question once you've heard it?"

Oliver rose with a sneer. "Of course I can. You're dodging my question. Who just came here?"

"I find it curious that you live in a world that's simply... through the looking glass." Mike stepped back, his hand on the dagger. "So I wonder if you know the answer to this one: can my magical dagger cut through a demon? Could it cut through you?"

Oliver snorted, his shadow extending behind him. "When your compatriot arrives, I'm afraid they aren't going to find much left of you." His red skin darkened and thick horns emerged from his head, knocking his top hat off.

It rolled to a stop by Mike's feet. He kicked it away, his eyes on the angry demon in front of him. Oliver's coat fluttered and then burst out behind him, forming a pair of dark bat wings.

Oliver took a step forward, his claws opening and closing. He laughed, his razor sharp teeth glinting terribly in the light of the mirror world, and then moved blazingly fast to take Mike's dagger from him. Laughing, he hurled it out over the horizon, where it soon vanished.

"Goodbye, Mr. Rad—" Oliver paused, his distorted face gazing into the distance. The sound of chains being dragged was rapidly approaching, and a foul looking head popped up from the garden, swinging a massive arm to knock over some of the animal statues. Standing on the monster's shoulder was Yuki, her hands clutched tightly around a thick, icicle staff.

"You," Oliver hissed, and he swung his arm, knocking Mike aside. He pointed a jagged claw at the monster Yuki rode. "You have no business here."

"Contract," the other demon hissed, and Yuki hopped down, a smirk on her face. Mike crawled away from the fight that was about to begin, doing his best to stay low.

Yuki had played the Devil card and part two of the plan was officially active. Having summoned a powerful demon of their own, Yuki explained earlier that she could command it to kill Oliver. The demon she brought with her was almost thirteen feet tall with massive arms that had been shackled in thick chains that dragged on the ground. It approached on stumpy legs and howled, revealing a giant set of teeth that stretched across its misshapen head.

The two demons threw themselves at each other, the ground cracking beneath them in a flurry of teeth and claws. The kitsune ran over to Mike and then looked at Beth.

"Do you think it's safe to move her?" she asked.

"I have no idea where the exit is." He looked over at the two demons. While Yuki's demon looked far stronger, its claws didn't seem to be doing any damage to its opponent. "Oliver is going to win."

"Yeah, but we expected that." She knelt down, holding another card in her hand. "Time for phase three." Tossing the card in the air, she summoned the Priestess. Bedecked in long, white robes, the woman was made primarily of light and held a thick bible. "The demon must be stopped."

"God's will be done," the priestess declared, then opened her book. Light flowed outward from the holy woman, casting the garden in an eerie light, and Oliver paused in the middle of ripping the other demon's arm off.

"Do you... think that will stop me?" He slapped Yuki's demon in the face with its own arm, causing it to disappear in a puff of fire and smoke, then stomped toward the holy woman. His movements were sluggish, but he put his hands together, summoning a large ball of red and black fire. Letting out an inhuman roar, he hurled it over his head at the priestess.

The magic washed over her and she began reciting rapidly from the book. Mike was certain she was reading in Latin, then looked over at Yuki.

Yuki nodded, holding the ice scepter in front of her. The staff had cracked in more than a few places and was beginning to fall apart. She handed it to Mike and began summoning large chunks of frost that clung to Oliver's feet.

"I will enjoy chewing your face off," Oliver hissed, throwing more fire at the priestess. He was having trouble dividing his attention between Yuki and the priestess now, and he stumbled under the dual assault. Letting out a loud roar, his body rippled again and was covered in thick scales of black and red. Mike felt a wave of terror eat through his body, and even Yuki stumbled in her spellcasting.

This was enough to allow him to charge the priestess and attack. Her holy magic did her no good as he twisted her head and bit into her face, her ethereal body popping out of existence like a giant bubble of light. Yuki threw everything she had at him, but he sneered, the talons on his right hand growing longer.

"I will make you regret this day," he told her, then swung his arm. Malignant energy washed over her, sending her spiraling through the bushes, and Mike lifted the staff and smashed it on the ground, picking up the object within. He moved alongside Oliver, waiting for his chance to strike. His left hand reached into his pocket.

"We are going to take her back!" Yuki hollered, summoning ice beneath the demon's feet. Her magic was far weaker here, and without her cards, she was unable to summon the necessary materials. The ice slowed him for a moment, but his cloven feet smashed through, digging deep into the soil.

"No. You won't." His tail whipped around and spiraled through the air, grabbing Yuki by the waist and pulling her through the air. The demon caught Yuki in one hand and smashed her into the ground. She let out a cry of pain, and Oliver laughed in her face.

"There is nothing you can do that will hurt me," he told her, saliva dripping from his jaws. "In this place, I. AM. GOD." He punctuated his words by smashing her into the ground repeatedly. His attention was so fixed on her that he didn't pay any attention when Mike slid the goggles over his face, the lenses flicking back and forth instantly to form a floating bullseye.

"Hey! God!" Mike leaned on his back about ten feet from the demon and twisted the knob on Tink's club. Oliver looked up, his bony brow folding in curiosity as Mike lined up the shot and pulled the trigger once the bullseye was between Oliver's eyes.

The mechanism fired the bolt, but instead of a standard arrow, the bolt had been rigged with the final vial that Zel had given him. It exploded on contact and expanded into a sickly yellow foam that clung to Oliver like glue. Steam hissed from his body as the acid did its best to eat through his flesh, and Yuki scurried off, the foam eating into the hard rock by her feet.

Blinded, Oliver swung wildly with his hands, and Mike shouted at him, drawing him away from the pavilion with Beth inside. Oliver's bones and sinew were visible now, but Mike watched as the demon's flesh regenerated, the wounds closing up where the acid had already fallen off. A large portion of it had fallen to the ground, and the demon stumbled over the suddenly uneven terrain.

Taking a chance, Mike waited for Oliver to stumble onto the smooth walkway of the garden and then leapt forward and swung the club into Oliver's knee. The impact made his arms go numb, and the club fell from his hands, clattering onto the ground. Oliver spread his fingers wide and pinned Mike to the ground with his claws as he fell.

The angry face of a wounded demon was terrifying enough, but the acid had eaten away all of the soft tissue. Oliver growled, his sunken eyes slowly growing back in his monstrous skull. One of his horns had fallen off, but was already reforming on his skull.

"Did you... did you really think... that you could win?" He asked. Oliver leaned forward, his hot breath washing over Mike. "Oh, I'm going to make you suffer for this."

"I bet." Through Oliver's legs, he could see Yuki moving close. He needed to buy just a couple more seconds. "I heard you like questions. Is it true the answer just pops in your head, just like that?"