Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 072

Tears formed in her eyes. At this moment, she was finally able to grasp what so many astronauts had tried to convey. From this high up, all of mankind was condensed onto a single rock, tiny and insignificant compared to the vastness of the universe. The human race had accomplished great things, and could do even more if they could just learn to see beyond themselves, to look at the greater good. This planet wasn't just her home. It was a monument to life, a cradle of—

"I cannot wait to blow this fucker up!" War appeared next to her, astride his massive horse. Flames jetted from the horse's nostrils. "Just look at all that simmering hate! Can you feel it?"

"N...no."

"Oh, it's there. You just have to know where to look." He pointed at the Earth with his sword. "Man-made borders, dark zones to prevent spying. Way too many coffee shops. This planet is just a bundle of rage waiting to be let loose."

Beth looked away from War, only to find herself looking at Famine on his horse.

"He isn't wrong," Famine informed her. "You see, those in power will spend vast amounts of money to not only hold onto their wealth, but to convince you that the other peasants are the ones to blame for your lot in life. Despite all you have in common, they will whip you into a frenzy over your differences in the hopes that you take it out on each other instead of them."

She looked away from Famine, but now stared at Pestilence, also on a horse. Pestilence buzzed dramatically at her for almost a minute, but she didn't understand any of it. It was clear that the last horseman was getting heated, because condensation was forming on the inside of the hazmat suit's visor.

"Holy shit," muttered War once Pestilence was done. "You really laid into her."

Pestilence nodded, then gave Beth a rude gesture.

"Mankind is about to see its end." Famine slapped his hands together greedily. "And once we've simulated it here, you will see it again on your Earth!"

"That is where you are wrong." Reggie emerged from the darkness, a glittering crown of gold atop his head. Beth's jaw dropped when she saw that he was piloting a mech suit that was nearly seven feet tall.

"Where the hell did you get that?" she asked.

"It is but a thought away, Lady Beth." He nodded encouragingly. "Almost like magic."

She looked down at herself and willed herself into a flowing silver gown, adorned with armor. A staff made of ivory appeared in her hands, and a cloud formed beneath her feet. Energy swirled around her and crackled between the fingers of her outstretched hand. She looked over at the horsemen, wondering if she could summon a fireball and torch them into dust.

"It's all cosmetic," Famine explained. "So don't think you're gonna pull a fast one on us."

The void filled with the sound of creaking wood. They all turned to see a small figure emerge from the darkness, astride a rocking horse. It was Jenny, and her horse had a smile painted onto its features much like clown makeup. The paint wasn't dry, causing the red around its mouth to dribble down like drops of blood.

Jenny giggled, but said nothing as she held onto the handlebars of her horse and rocked in place. Somehow, despite the fact that they were hovering in space, the horse continued to creak as if it was rocking on squeaky boards.

"Oh, this is going to be too fun," War declared, then poked at Jenny with the tip of his sword.

Ouch! That hurts my feelings! Jenny sounded very much like an upset four-year-old.

"I'm going to hurt a lot more than your feelings," War growled. "When this is all done, I'm going to rip the stuffing out of you and use you as a fuck toy."

Beth covered her mouth in horror, half expecting Jenny to fly into a blind rage. Instead, the rocking horse retreated to a safe distance from the others.

Stay away from me, mister. Jenny's voice was barely audible. Or I'll tell a grown-up.

War and Famine both chuckled at the doll. Pestilence may have done the same, as the buzzing sounds coming from them sounded slightly higher in pitch. They were underestimating Jenny, which was perhaps the dumbest thing they could do.

In a flash of light, Murray now stood before them.

"This is a game of strategy," he declared. "The rules of the game are still the same, and your corporeal forms are still sitting around the table. In here, I have created a simulacrum of the planet and everyone living on it. They are non-combatants, and will provide no in-game benefit."

"Then why are they here at all?" Beth asked.

"You offered a game of conquest." Murray gestured at the Earth. Golden lines made of light cut across its land, separating the planet into territories. "When you choose your territory, you may dispose of its occupants however you like. They are here purely for flavor and can provide no benefit."

"That's barbaric! Why can't we just have armies or whatever?" Beth hadn't expected Murray to replicate Earth's population.

"That's how conquest works, sweetheart." War let out a loud whoop. "You see, it isn't just about how we fight each other. It's also about collateral damage. When we fight, you'll get to watch people die. Even the act of occupying unclaimed territory lets us get our rocks off!"

"It is what you promised," Famine added. "The game inside here would present itself as we see fit. And it's what we want to see."

Appalled, Beth looked away from them toward Reggie.

"You must harden your heart, Lady Beth." His mech put a fist to its chest in a salute. "After all, it is family game night. And we take no prisoners."

Tensing her jaw, she turned back to Murray. "So how does this work, exactly?"

"In the real world, you are all rolling to see who gets to go first." Murray waved his hand and the space in front of him filled with light as it became a portal to the real world. Through it, Beth saw that she and the others were sitting at the table, their eyes glassy as they took turns rolling a single six-sided die. There must have been a tie for first, because Reggie and Famine both rolled again once everyone had a turn.

"Oh, shit," she muttered when a golden light appeared over Famine's head. If she remembered right, play would proceed to the left, which meant War and Pestilence would get a turn before Jenny did. If the three of them were coordinating at all, it would give them an opening advantage.

"Ah, let's see!" Famine slapped his hands together and looked at the Earth. It rotated once every few seconds, allowing them to see every available territory. The world stopped moving and they descended almost instantly to hover over South America.

Of course. Australia and South America only had four territories apiece, making them the easiest to conquer. Owning a continent gave a player extra troops at the start of their turn. The word Peru appeared in golden letters across the western side of the continent.

"It's go time!" Famine declared, and they were now on the ground. Beth looked around, curious about their destination. They were in a large city, teeming with people.

"Lima," War informed her. People were milling about a city filled with both old and modern structures, some taking in the distant mountain views while others went about their day with nary a care.

Dark shadows swirled along the ground before bursting forth from the soil beneath. Horrific beings made of teeth and claws tore into the local populace, spraying the streets with blood.

"What the hell are those things?" Beth recoiled as one came near her.

"The Hunger." Famine grinned. "Made them myself."

Aghast, Beth watched as Famine's shadow troops formed after devouring the people of Lima. As their screams quieted, the group shifted back into space so suddenly that Beth felt her head spin.

"My turn!" War cackled and pointed his sword at the Earth. Their viewpoint shifted slightly, and the words Central America appeared across Mexico. When they zoomed in, they were standing on the beaches of Cozumel.

Tourists on the beach began screaming when men emerged from the sea wearing high-tech ballistic gear and firing guns. War's soldiers could easily be men from any continent, and their liberal use of bullets and explosives turned the beach into a bloody mess. War himself joined in, cleaving people in half as he ran them down.

Beth turned away and held her ears, doing her best to fight back tears. In her head, she knew none of this was real, but she could easily distinguish the anguished cries of men, women, and children as their beach vacation was turned into a blood bath. War's turn seemed extraordinarily long, and by the time it was over, she found that her ears were ringing from the sounds of violence.

Back above the planet, she watched Pestilence pick North Africa. Down on the surface, Pestilence unzipped their hazmat suit, releasing ominous yellow pollen. People dusted with it grabbed at their heads in agony until large fungal colonies burst from their eyes. Instead of wiping out the locals, Pestilence made them into an army of zombies that groaned in agony as they were controlled by their new hosts.

It was Reggie's turn next. He looked over at her, his whiskers twitching in anticipation.

"Where should I pick?" he asked.

She didn't know, and wasn't sure she could even formulate an answer. The number of atrocities she had seen in the last few hours was more than any human could endure, and she now saw the trap the horsemen had laid out for her. How could she distance herself from the macabre scene below?

"Lady Beth?" Reggie moved close and made his mech kneel so that he could reach out and touch her face. "These horrid visions will be the truth of tomorrow if we do not act today."

Shivering, she looked at the map again. The horsemen had deliberately picked countries that would block them from taking South America. If Reggie chose Brazil or Venezuela, he would be vulnerable on two fronts. It was clear that the horsemen wanted Famine to take South America and gain a troop advantage.

Could they do something similar with Australia? She looked at the map and frowned. Or was that what the horsemen wanted of her? The troop advantage would help, but it would put her in a bad spot.

"The clock is ticking!" Famine shouted. "I want my turn!"

"There is no time limit during this period," Murray explained. "This is, after all, a game of strategy."

Beth looked at Reggie, then back at the board. When she looked at Jenny, she saw that the doll was still on her horse, but now she was floating upside down and staring at the moon.

"There also isn't a rule about sportsmanship!" War moved close to Beth and got in her face. "C'mon, you stupid cunt! Tell your pet what he's doing so we can get around to killing you!"

The world closed in on her until all she could see was War's smug face. Heat filled her cheeks as she gritted her teeth and pressed her forehead against War's.

"Reggie. Southeast Asia. We're taking Australia." She sneered at War, then pushed him away with her staff.

"As you wish." They teleported to the ground in time to watch as bright lights appeared in the sky. Rats wearing mech assault suits jumped out of transport ships and crashed to the ground. Though they didn't attack anyone, the local population panicked and ran for cover.

"Boring," War muttered to himself. He yawned dramatically as they moved back into outer space.

"Eastern Australia," Beth said. When they landed, she thought long and hard about what her troops should look like. The others had been ready right away, but it wasn't something she had thought very long about.

Turning around, she studied the Sydney Opera house. It was somewhere she had always wanted to go in person. The native Australians paid no mind to her or the other players as they moved around them.

Pestilence buzzed impatiently behind her. She bit her lip and closed her eyes.

What would her army be? It came to her so suddenly that she couldn't help but grin.

The people closest to her transformed. There was no pain or fear, just sparkling light and smiles. When the transformation was done, she found herself standing among a small army reminiscent of modern fantasy literature. Dwarves, elves, and humans were all equipped in medieval armor and weaponry.

A big grin broke across her face as the army turned to face her and saluted.

"This is so boring!" War rolled his eyes so hard he almost fell off his horse. "Men with swords? Really?"

"And women." Beth gestured to an elven maiden nearby. "The fights are determined by rolling the dice. Which means I'll get to watch them destroy your soldiers without firing a single bullet."

"Blah blah blah." War shook his head as the world receded away, and they were in orbit again. The group turned their attention to Jenny, who was surrounded by golden light. She was still busy staring at the moon.

"It's the toy's turn." Famine leaned forward on his stallion. "What sort of asinine shit will we get from her?"

Jenny didn't respond. Instead, they were all yanked straight down to Japan.

"Jenny!" Beth looked around. She recognized the Tokyo Tower, which was very similar to the Eiffel Tower. "Why did you bring us here?"

Toys! Jenny waved her hand and a nearby building exploded with gift boxes. Little parachutes deployed, and the Japanese people watched in wonderment as the presents drifted down into their hands. Nearby, a little boy snatched a gift out of the air and opened it. Inside was a stuffed kitty that looked very similar to Kisa.

The boy hugged it. People who collected gifts smiled, and laughed in delight. Those who didn't simply vanished. Instead of an army, Jenny was surrounded by people holding toys.

"Jenny." Beth's voice was quiet. "You were supposed to help us capture Australia."

I wanted to go to Japan. Jenny watched a young girl stroke the silken hair of a doll in a kimono that looked very much like Ratu. You never take me anywhere.

"Jenny, please!" The world was ripped away, and they were in space once more.

"Looks like your toy needs new batteries. And a brain." Famine grinned. "Looks like I'm up."

The process felt like it took days, but it was probably only minutes. The territories were brutally conquered by the horsemen, and Beth ended up closing her eyes for most of the process. The screams still made it through her hands, slashing against her psyche like a flail made of barbed wire.

Reggie took Argentina to prevent Famine from getting his continent bonus on the first turn. Famine took Indonesia in retaliation. When all was said and done, Reggie and Beth managed to keep anyone from getting a continent bonus, but it also meant their defenses weren't great.

Jenny put zero effort into any sort of strategy. Instead, she whimsically picked places based on who she thought wanted to play toys with her. Beth assumed that the people who took her toys would be her army, but it was impossible to tell what the doll was thinking. Was Jenny still able to move in and out of the game?

If not, they were royally fucked. Despite having never played, the horsemen had a definable strategy. She assumed it was because they were physical manifestations of concepts that transcended understanding, but also worried that maybe they had some tricks up their sleeve as well.

The Earth spun lazily beneath them as a tone sounded, signalling that all territories were occupied. The zones glowed different colors based on who owned them. War's zones were red. Famine had black. Pestilence's were green. Reggie's were blue. Beth's glowed yellow, while Jenny's were all the bright pink of a highlighter.

Famine cackled in delight as he was assigned troops at the beginning of his turn for the number of territories he had. He distributed a few to Peru, then turned to Reggie.

"It's time to catch some mice." They were pulled down to Argentina, where Reggie's rat troops stood anxiously around a set of enormous waterfalls. The mist from the falls blew upward, casting rainbows into the sky.

Reggie cast a dirty look in Famine's direction, then looked over at Beth. "The numbers are not in my favor," he informed her.

"No, they are not." Famine laughed and disappeared. He reappeared upstream of the falls just as an enormous horde of his Hunger appeared. "Slay them!" he cried, his voice rending the sky like thunder.

Reggie's troops opened fire with blaster rifles that ionized the air around them. When the Hunger came, it tore through the ranks of the rats, ripping them out of their suits and casting the mechs aside to get caught up in the flow of the falls.

Famine howled in delight as the Hunger made quick work of the rats. Reggie narrowed his eyes at the horsemen, but was caught off guard when the Hunger suddenly descended on him as well.

"Reggie!" Beth tried to reach his side, but it was as if she was a ghost. Unable to touch Reggie or the Hunger, she watched helplessly as he fired his weapons and was toppled over. The Hunger pulled him free of his mech and ripped him apart.

Beth screamed, her own ears ringing as the Hunger swirled around her. When they ascended into the sky, Argentina was now black with Famine's troops.

"This doesn't make any sense!" She turned to Murray. "How is this a game if we can be killed in it?"

"There is no true death here," Murray explained as golden light swirled around the space next to him. When it was gone, Reggie reappeared, visibly shaken inside his suit. "On your turn, you are part of the battle. It was what you agreed on."

War laughed heartily and slapped Beth on the back hard enough that she winced.

"Now you see!" he declared. "You offered us everything we could have ever wanted, and we took it!"

"But...that means..." she turned on him, her voice filled with venom. "It means that you will be killed, too!"

"Meh." War shrugged, then shifted his sword. "Wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last. I'm War, darling. Wherever people fight, I'm there. It's not about who wins or loses, it's about chaos, blood, and righteous fury! When a man dies in battle, I ride that last bit of light in his eyes into the dark, then watch as my brother claims him. I don't favor victor or loser, for I experience the fight from both sides. It's the fight itself that thrills me."

"You're a psychopath," she replied.

"If this is too hard for you, you can quit." He sneered, revealing crimson gums. "What was all that talk about backing a human into a corner if you're gonna be a huge pussy about it?"

Beth growled. "I'll have you know that a pussy is built to take a beating. Not that you'd know anything about that. I assume the sword is compensating for something, and you're definitely not used to swinging it more than once, if you know what I mean."

War laughed for a few seconds, then went completely still.

"I can't wait until it's my turn," he told her through gritted teeth.

"But it's still my turn," Famine said. "I'm attacking Japan."

No! Jenny's cry echoed around them as they were taken down to Japan. She had failed to put more than one troop in Japan, and paid the price as the Hunger devoured screaming grown-ups and children who clung to their toys. My friends!

Beth stared in horror as Famine commanded the Hunger to capture the doll and rip her apart. Jenny was yanked free of her rocking horse, the Hunger yanking at her limbs until they ripped and she was dragged away by the shadowy horde.

Once they were back in space, Jenny reappeared. She had a teardrop drawn on her cheek, and she cowered beneath Famine's withering stare.

You're mean, the doll declared, then turned her back on the group.

"Ooh, ooh, me next!" War was practically hopping up and down on his horse's back.

"Fine." Famine waved a hand dismissively.

"This bitch is mine." He leveled his sword at Beth, then pointed it at the Earth. "Congo, now!"