Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 081

Someone pulled her hair and she spun around and hissed, her tongue elongating into a snake's. It was just Death, and he let out a sigh of relief.

"There you are, I was worried about you!" He held up the user manual. "I've finished reading the troubleshooting section, and believe I know what to do next."

"What do you mean you've finished it, you just started."

Death shook his head. "You have been staring at that bag for hours now, and I did not wish to disturb you."

"What?" Lily looked at the loupe in her hand, then over at the bag. "You're fucking with me."

"I do not fuck," he informed her, then held up the book. "Does this look familiar?"

Drawn in perfect detail on the page was the large cat that had chased them. It was caught in mid-yawn, which made it look far less intimidating than she would have expected.

"Jólakötturinn?" She took the book from him and read the page. "The Yule Cat? What the hell am I looking at?"

"He eats children, Lily, children!" Death took the book back from her. "And it says right here that in the event of an encounter with the Jólakötturinn that we should avoid it entirely."

"Too late."

"I agree, which is why we come to the second passage. If hunted by the Yule Cat, we must remain one step ahead of him. He is attracted to the bag, and will stop at nothing to get it. However, he is poor at tracking, so the best solution is to simply evade his claws and carry on. We will lose him eventually."

"What do you mean by carry on? Carry on, what?"

Death's toothy smile somehow twisted upward into a full blown grin as he let out a laugh that raised all the hairs on the back of Lily's neck. "What, indeed, dear succubus! What, indeed!"

Serious doubts manifested in Lily's mind over Death's intentions. His sense of child-like wonder about the world around him didn't reassure her about whatever dubious plan he was concocting. However, the growling in the mists was becoming louder, and it was only a matter of time before even more dangerous things than demons came sniffing around.

"Ah, fuck it," she told Death. Despite her thoughts to the contrary, he had been right every step of the way so far. It would probably save them time if she just went against her better judgment and rolled with whatever crazy ass idea he had. "I'm in."

� � �

Oh, shit, is Death really gonna pull a Hogfather? And what's the deal with Jack Frost and whatever attacked Alabaster? And were those the three ghosts of Christmas?

You'll just have to stay tuned to find out! I hope these chapters are bringing you the same joy I had while writing them, because there are definitely some laughs ahead.

Don't forget to do something kind for yourself, because you matter!

~Annabelle Hawthorne

Author's Notes:

I really don't have a way to easily interact with so many of you lovely people, so figured this was the best place to just drop some of my thoughts on writing and the story.

I was glad to see that so many of you noticed a shift in attitude for this tale. While writing the last book, it was important to me that I create a balance between the tales. My skills as a writer are constantly in flux, and I always worry about losing the magic in an attempt to strengthen my weaknesses. While editing the audiobooks, I've had to sit down with the first couple of books and re-read them from a fresh viewpoint, which has given me some insights as to where I've come from and where I'm going. Introspection is healthy, as long as you can avoid being overtly-critical. As a result of all this deep thinking I did, this book will have its dark moments, but I hope you get to see more of that early version of Mike, the one who cracks jokes and comes up with crazy-ass plans to save the day. His magic is still evolving and he will sometimes find himself in sticky situations as a result.

While this has always been a story about a man who ends up in the deep end of the magical world, I will admit it has been tempting to just hand him a set of huge, magical powers and say "there, now he's awesome." But I couldn't just let him stagnate at "Magic penis move plot," either. When this story finally comes to an end, perhaps Mike will be the powerhouse everybody expected, or maybe not. The story is a journey for me as much as for you, because while I know some of the events ahead of time, I try hard to let the characters have free rein with their actions.

Some of you also noticed that I split the cast. I realized some time ago that creating new characters who all live in the same house becomes a balancing act of "Why didn't X show up to help or be part of this scene?" The story was always intended to branch out to different places to allow certain characters to grow. I am hoping to write some more spinoffs in the future, but that all comes down to time I don't currently have. In the meantime, having the cast spread apart organically makes those absences feel less forced, and then I don't have to worry about including what everyone is doing in almost every chapter. For example, Ratu will be a heavy focus in the next book, because I am fully aware that she is loved, but very much in the background.

I haven't read the Hogfather, but sort of know the premise. My beta readers have informed me that I really should read it, because I have made several references already.

That's all I have for my notes. Just kind of wrote what was on my mind since I had a few extra minutes tonight. If you're still here, thanks for reading and take care!