Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 089

"Is...it seems like everyone is a little extra...aggressive, today." Not that he was going to complain, but there was certainly a change in the air. It wasn't limited to the Dreamscape either, but he couldn't tell how much of that was Holly being a horny elf, or if something else was going on.

"We're just parts of your soul. When things change here, it's because things changed out there. So you should probably ask yourself...what's different about you?" She grabbed the front of his pants and ripped them off. They flickered out of existence as she knelt down and sucked his cock into her mouth. He moaned, his hands finding the horns on her head and holding them as she blew him for a minute.

"Oh, that feels so good." He let out a little groan as Lily spat him out and then stroked his cock with both hands.

"Speaking of cracks, that one in the sky is gone." Lily jerked a thumb over her shoulder. Mike looked and saw the sky had a faint aura around where the last crack had been, like a fading bruise in the sky.

"Oh." He looked down at her, then back up at the sky again. Doing a quick bit of mental math, he wondered if she could get him off in the Dreamscape before he woke up.

"Looks like it's time to nut up, Romeo. Give them hell for me." With a laugh, Lily flicked him in the balls, making the decision for him. The Dreamscape vanished as his eyes popped open, both her laugh and the phantom pain in his testicles fading away.

"Gah!" Holly had been leaning over him when his eyes opened and fell backwards in fright. "Oh, Santa, you scared the sprinkles out of me!"

"Sorry about that." He blinked his eyes a few times and coughed, his throat very dry. Holly offered him a mug of something, and he was surprised to discover it was ice water.

"Yuki had me melt some ice for you," she said. "Thought you might appreciate something other than hot cocoa."

"She was right." He sucked the water down greedily, going fast enough that a bunch of it spilled onto his white coat. Interestingly enough, the water slid off the fabric and onto the floor without leaving any trace of moisture behind. "How long was I out?"

"A couple of hours." Holly took the mug back and held out a sandwich. "I finally got around to making these, if you're hungry."

He took the sandwich from her and bit into a slice of heaven. It was thin sliced roast beef with caramelized onions and cheese on a brioche bun. Groaning in delight, he was almost halfway through the sandwich when he remembered Yuki.

"Has she eaten yet?" he asked.

Holly shook her head. "She had me move you a bit ago. Jack was semi-conscious for a bit, but she's awake now. Well...half awake."

"Take me to her." Mike stood with some effort, then rubbed at his face to get the circulation flowing. The North Pole was so dry his sinuses were starting to hurt.

He had been moved to a small office just off the main hub of the house, and he walked into the main room to see Yuki standing across from Jack, a pair of tarot cards in her hands.

"You're up." Yuki didn't bother looking at Mike, her eyes on their prisoner.

"I am." He moved to her side and held out the other half of his sandwich. "You should eat."

"I'm not--"

"Yes you are." He shoved the sandwich at her, and she took it. When she looked at him, she frowned.

"Your eyes are all bloodshot," she said.

"Not surprising." He moved away from Yuki and grabbed a rocking chair from over by the fireplace. He dragged it across the floor to sit down next to Jack, who was reclined in a chair and watching him out of one eye.

"I don't think you should do that," Yuki warned, but Mike waved her off.

"If she could have done something, she would have done it sooner." It wasn't just false bravado behind his words, but the fact that Jack emanated an aura of defeat. One side of her face now drooped, and there was pain in the one eye she had open. She shifted uncomfortably when she saw how close he sat, then looked away.

"If you're going to kill me, just do it." Her voice was haggard, her words slurred.

Mike watched her for a moment, then opened his senses to look at her soul. It was not only in turmoil, but looked like someone had tried to rip it apart. Only a few loose threads connected the two halves, and a red light pulsed through the entire structure. The same golden light that was embedded in Yuki's spirit was here as well, but the rings it had formed had sliced cleanly through entire sections of Jack's soul. The longer he studied it, the more it looked like the light had tried to form a symbol, but it fuzzed out any time he tried to study it.

"I don't see any need for that," he told her, taking her by the hand. She yanked it away and glared at him.

"I don't want your pity." Her lip trembled as a tear formed in her eye.

"Good. Because I'm not offering pity." He patted Jack on the leg. "But I do have some questions, if you don't mind."

Jack looked away, her face twisting up.

"Look, Jack, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." He stood and moved across the room to pick up a pillow from one of the other couches, along with a blanket. "If you choose the easy way, you tell me what I want to know, and then we figure out what happens next."

"And the hard way?" Jack's tone was chilly, and the room grew colder. When he turned around, he saw that her skin was pale, but her breath was now visible as the temperature dropped.

Mike moved closer, the pillow clutched tightly in his hands. He moved behind her, pushing her helpless body forward and shoving the pillow down next to her hip. When he grabbed her by the shoulders, she tensed up and frost crawled up his arms, but the coat protected him.

"It's a lot like the easy way, only you're stubborn and we never move on to trying to figure out how to fix you. Does that feel better?"

"I...what did you do?"

Mike moved in front of Jack and draped the blanket over her. "You were slouching to one side. I imagine your back was starting to hurt. Do you eat or drink? We have plenty of hot cocoa and cookies."

"You...what?" Jack blinked a few times, then groaned. "My head, it hurts so bad."

"I bet." He looked over at Holly. "Let's start with cocoa, but she needs a straw."

Holly looked dubious, but obeyed. The elf disappeared into the kitchen for a minute, then returned with a mug and a straw colored like a candy cane. He took it from Holly, then looked over his shoulder at Yuki, who had been strangely silent.

The kitsune was asleep in an armchair, a stray onion still clinging to her lips and a piece of sandwich clutched in one hand.

"Trade me." He handed Holly the mug, and walked over to find a blanket for Yuki. When he covered her, she let out a whimper, but then went still. When he looked at her soul, he saw that the golden light was busy trying to shine through the rest of Yuki's magic, but was still tucked in nice and neat.

When he returned to Jack, it was to see that she was trying to sip cocoa through the straw with Holly's help. The elf was using a monogrammed hand towel to wipe chocolate off of Jack's chin before it could freeze. He moved his chair closer to Jack and looked at her.

"So let's start with an easy question. To the best of your knowledge, are you currently dying?"

Jack looked startled at the question, then shook her head.

"Okay, a good start." There was a thud on the roof, and he looked up. "Okay, second question. Any way to call off your snow goons?"

Jack pondered this for several seconds, then pushed the straw out of her mouth with her tongue.

"I don't think so," she replied with a thick drawl. "Can't feel them anymore."

"Any idea why?"

Half of Jack's lip curled into a sneer. "Divinity. Some of it went into them, and now they are... unique. They no longer obey me."

"Okay, we can circle back to that problem later." He let out a deep breath and studied Jack. He could see a tiny storm forming just beneath the surface of her soul. It was easy to understand what that meant, he didn't blame her for being angry or afraid. In her position, he would be, too.

Maybe it was her vulnerability, or the way she stared at him like a wounded animal, but something about Jack resonated with him. Even though she was in league with the Krampus, he felt that there was something more there to be explored.

"What is the Krampus planning?" he asked. "Other than just being a general bas...bad guy."

Holly smiled at him in appreciation. Despite using her as a sexual battery earlier, she still required PG language.

"I'm not...entirely certain." Jack winced, looking away from him.

"Hey, are you okay?" He moved closer, ready to help her in any way he could. After a couple of moments, Jack turned to face him, doubt in her eye.

"Here." He took the mug from Holly and held the straw to Jack's lips. "We can get you water, too, just say the word."

"I don't understand." Jack stared at the straw like it was a blade held to her face. "Why show me kindness? I was coming here to kill you."

He looked over at Yuki, who snored contently in her seat. The sight summoned a big smile to his face.

"To be fair, I get that a lot." He moved the straw closer to her lips, and she reluctantly parted them, then sipped some more of the warm concoction. "I've met some of my best friends that way."

Jack let out a sigh and leaned away from the mug. "I'm starting to think this is all a bad dream."

"It isn't. I'm practically an expert on dreams these days." He set the mug down and moved to adjust the blanket. Leaning over Jack, he could feel the cold aura that she radiated, a chill that somehow made it through his coat. He was tucking the blanket behind one shoulder when her other eye popped open, the iris cracked like a piece of glass. That dilated pupil shifted upward to focus on him, and his mind was assailed by images of bountiful valleys. Miles of lush landscape were revealed to him, broken up by the remains of thousands of dead warriors, their skeletons rotting in bent and broken armor. Harp music played in his head, and now he stood on a cliff overlooking the ocean. In front of him was a voloptuous woman with long tresses of golden hair who looked back once before throwing herself toward the tumultuous waters below.

Mike snapped back to reality as ice bloomed through his entire body. The once limp half of Jack's body lunged at him, a dagger of ice clutched tight in her hand. There was a moment where time distorted, his brain processing her movement in slow motion. He pushed her wrist to the side, zapping her with electricity. The dagger slid out of her hand and shattered on the floor.

"YOU!" Jack's voice shifted in pitch and timbre as she slid her wrist from his hand and tried to slap him. He lifted his arm to block the strike, his eyes on Jack's other arm. It was wrapped around the back of the couch, keeping her from moving any closer.

"Stop it! Just stop it!" Jack begged, her voice back to normal. Yuki was by Mike's side now, her eyes wide and blazing with light as she held up a spear of her own.

"What have you done to me?" The shrill voice turned into a wail, and Jack started to slide off the couch. Mike pushed aside Yuki's spear and knelt down to catch her before she could crumble on the floor.

"Easy," he told her, watching cautiously as her soul undulated in wild circles. An inner light emerged, threatening to consume what was already there. "We aren't going to harm you."

"That would be Freya," Yuki said. "Goddess of War, apparently."

"War, huh? Met a guy earlier this year, big sword, he was a huge dick. Fancied himself a horseman. Friend of yours?" Mike pushed Freya/Jack back onto the couch and was impressed at how both her eyes conveyed a different sort of confusion.

"Just stop it, Freya, please. They saved us." Jack was staring into her own lap when her voice shifted again. "They're luring us in with a false sense of--"

Mike took the spear from Yuki and pressed it against Jack's throat. Both Jack and Freya held perfectly still as he pushed forward on it.

"Sorry, Jack, but your friend is a little intense and needs a reality check. Freya, is it?"

"I'll kill you," Freya whispered.

"Not if you don't get stronger," he told her, moving the point of the spear to avoid accidentally stabbing her. "We've had nothing but opportunity. Poison in the cocoa, stabbed with a spear, or we could have just let Grýla kill you, it would have been far easier on us."

"Grýla would have eaten you, too." Holly stood from where she had ducked down, then adjusted her dress. "There wouldn't have even been a body to bury."

"See? So many ways we could have let you be someone else's problem. But my friend here dragged your ass across the arctic to give you a shot at survival. Why, you may ask?"

"Because I'm a Radley." Yuki moved next to Mike, her eyes shining as she put an arm on his shoulder. "And being a Radley means looking out for those who need help. I was planning to kill you, I'll admit it. But when you blew in, shouting in two different voices, I could tell you weren't in a good place. Heck, I spent decades in the same position, just a giant ball of hatred. You make terrible decisions when you're in that place, even when your intentions are good.

"Even before Grýla knocked you out, I had decided that you needed help. This was a chance to balance the scales for everything this man has done for me, to pay his good deeds forward. I even asked myself what he would do in my situation, because his methods are...unorthodox. But ultimately, he would have wanted to help. Maybe you aren't seeking redemption, but I can tell you're definitely looking for something. And you will never find it by fighting your way through us."

Surprised at Yuki's words, Mike smiled and nodded his agreement. "So what do you say, Freya? I think Jack gets it, but we need you on board as well. We were never your enemy. We just came here to help Holly figure out where everybody went." He gestured to the elf, who had moved away from the altercation. Holly nodded her agreement. "We don't have to be friends, but I don't think we need to be enemies. I know Jack was working for the Krampus, and suspect she realizes now that was a terrible idea. Help us undo her mistake, to make things right at the North Pole. And if you help us, we want to help you."

The figure on the couch regarded him for several moments, then let out a sigh. Jack/Freya muttered to herself for a couple of minutes, the words unintelligible. Mike couldn't tell if it was another language or if she was muttering fast, but it was obviously a conversation not meant for his ears.

"My weaker half thinks that we should hear you out," Freya said. "But I admit that I think she's a poor judge of character. After all, she's the one who got us into this mess."

"And I'm the one who wants to help you out of it." Mike lowered the spear, then handed it back to Yuki. His danger sense had gone quiet as Freya studied him. He could sense the wisdom and judgment in that broken eye, but something far more interesting was starting to shine through.

It was hope. Jack wasn't just one broken person, but two, and he needed to figure out how to make them whole again. He was being given a chance to help someone while learning more about his new abilities, and he was going to take it.

"Okay, Jack, Freya. I'm going to ask you one more question before we do anything else, and I need you both to be completely honest." He picked up the mug of hot cocoa and took a sip, his throat suddenly dry. He flinched when he realized the cocoa had gone ice cold. Jack had sucked the heat right out of it. He set the mug down and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"What on earth is the Krampus up to and how do we stop him?"

❄️❄️❄️

The long ductwork of the North Pole frustrated Kisa. It wasn't just that they randomly shifted and often smelled of burnt hair, or even the fact that Mike's presence would move nonsensically all around her.

It was the darkness. Some parts of the system were lit, but most weren't. Kisa kept her flashlight off unless absolutely needed, meaning that most of her time was spent following blind behind Tink (who could see in the dark with her goggles). Cats could see very well at night, but that still required some form of ambient light, of which there was none.

"Stop." Tink sniffed the air, and Kisa heard the clicking of lenses. "Okay, safe now."

"Does it usually take this long?" Kisa grumbled.

"Air flow bad," Tink responded for perhaps the hundredth time. At least the goblin was being patient with her. "Think good vent soon."

Soon. That was Tink's answer every time, but it did little to assuage Kisa's anxiety. She hated the idea of getting stuck in here, running until she died of thirst or fell down a hundred-story shaft. They had seen one a bit ago, both of them navigating a ledge that was less than a foot wide. Down below, Kisa had thought she had heard things moving in the darkness, but Tink told her she was imagining things.

There was a metallic thud, and she felt the ducts change again. Tink paused, then turned around and pointed behind them.

"Tink find good vent," she declared.

Kisa spun in place and saw a vent that looked just big enough for them to fit through. Being pessimistic, she waited until Tink inspected the grill and then undid the screws on the inside. Almost all of the vents unscrewed from the inside, the ones at Santa's house being the exception. She assumed that it was maybe a security issue, or that Santa and his spouse knew better than to wander into a shapeshifting deathtrap, but the reasons didn't matter. Tink pushed the decorative grating outward, then twisted it sideways to retract it into the vent. Kisa slid through the opening, her hair snagging on the rough edges.

"Finally," she whispered, seeing that she was in some sort of administrative building. The room was lined with desks that held glowing lamps and scattered stacks of paper. Tink followed Kisa into the room, then looked around with a frown on her face.

"Tink not sure where this is." She pulled out her map and examined it. While she was busy doing that, Kisa moved to one of the desks to look at the paper. It had a fancy letterhead, and on the desk was a spilled basket containing unopened letters. They were addressed to Santa, and some of them had been written in crayon.

"This is where the letters go," Kisa said. "So we're somewhere in the Mailroom."

"Tink understand now." The goblin wrote something on her map and folded it back up. "Kisa safe here. Move quiet, no get hurt."

"I'll do my best." She hugged her friend, then let out a sigh. "I'll wait a bit to check in with Mike, let him know where I'm at. Then I'm off to check things out."

The goblin nodded, then squeezed back into the HVAC system. She put the grill back into place with Kisa's help and let out a sigh.

"Tink fix furnace, come find Kisa and husband. Make good decision, come home safe. Okay?"

"Okay." Kisa stuck her fingers through the ornate grating and Tink gave them a squeeze before disappearing into the darkness. For the first time in a while, she was truly alone.

After a couple attempts at Cat Radio, she managed to connect with Mike. It sounded like Jack Frost was being cooperative for now, but apparently had never been clued in to whatever the Krampus was planning. While frustrating, it just meant that Kisa would have to cover more ground in the hopes of discovering anything.

The psychic phone call over, she pulled out the map she had drawn and studied it. The odds were pretty slim that the elves or Krampus were holed up in this administrative building, but she decided to be thorough. The last thing she wanted was to miss something important.

She also had an entirely different reason for checking here.

When she left the room, she was careful to crack the door first and check the hallway. While her ability to go unnoticed was powerful, an opening door would still be visible and cause questions to be asked. Once out in the hallway, she wasn't nearly as cautious. All that was required was her desire to go unnoticed.