Home Health Care

"As the world turns, you are back." Monica, a tall, slightly horsey-faced woman with a long braid down her back, came out of the kitchen the second Daniel came into view. "What in the hell happened to you? God, we were so worried, it's been days since we saw you. I was all for marching over to your house and pounding on the door, but Britt told me that would be pushy. Now I think she was wrong. God, go sit down and I'll bring you something." This voluble tirade was accompanied by inquisitive looks, little touches and suspicious glances at Zach. Daniel just laughed. As quickly as she had come, hurricane Monica left them to make their way to a comfortable seating area near the back.

As soon as Daniel was settled, and looking a little gray around the edges, Zach decided he would go to the counter and get them some coffee. Monica was already there, loading up a tray -- one that looked to be for only one person.

"Hi, I'm Zach." Zach stuck out his hand and hoped the woman wouldn't bite it off in her protective mood. "I'm a friend of Daniel's from the hospital and I'll be looking after him for a few days, until he can get around on his own."

Monica just looked appraisingly at him and then smiled a little, thawing. "Are you a physical therapist? Completely incompetent with computers?" At Zach's groan of embarrassment, Monica just laughed. "Sorry, but Danny's told me a little about you. One day he came to fix our system, which I had tried to kill, and he said that if he could fix your issues, then anything I could do would be mild in comparison." They both laughed at this and the noise brought out a delicate looking woman with brown ringlet hair framing her face.

"Britt, come meet Zach, Danny's friend." After a moment's explanation, Britt insisted that one of the assistants take over so Monica and Britt could visit with Daniel. Carrying a now heavily laden tray, crammed with coffees, tea, scones, sliced bread, cheese, strawberries and jam, the trio made their way over to Daniel who was nestled on the couch with his eyes closed and his head back against the pillows.

"I'm just resting my eyes, I'm not really asleep. Who could sleep with the racket you all make." Daniel's eyes opened and his face broke into a warm grin, and Britt rushed over to him and kissed his cheek. She clucked over him like a tiny, little mother hen and finally plopped down next to him, grabbing the fingers dangling from his cast.

All the fuss warmed Zach's heart; since Marion had told him that Daniel hadn't wanted to inform any family of his injury, Zach had felt a seed of sadness for his friend. Seeing this display of lavish affection, Zach was relieved and heartened. Possibly, Daniel had had the good fortune of being able to choose his own family of loved ones. These women certainly had selected Daniel as their baby brother, and they would probably smother him with love and attention.

Over the huge breakfast, Daniel told the couple all the details of his injury and prospective recovery. While he was honest with them, Zach noticed that Daniel's comments may have been slanted slightly to the positive end of the spectrum to allay their concern. Later, Zach would have to have a frank discussion with Daniel to make sure the young man knew what a long road he had ahead of him. But that wasn't for today. There would be plenty of time later for that later. He had a more difficult conversation to tackle right now.

Soon, the little party broke up as groups of college students and professors wandered in looking for their next cup of the day and something to go with it. As the two women left, Britt winked at Zach and said something about privacy. Zach cleaned up the mess of their breakfast and bussed their dishes to the kitchen. When he came back to the kitchen, he sat next to Daniel upon the sofa. A palpable tension had grown, as if Daniel sensed that an uncomfortable conversation was about to take place.

Zach handed Daniel a fresh cup of coffee and looked at his face; had Daniel lifted his eyes, he would have looked into Zach's. "I kissed you last night, just before you fell asleep." How did one not sound pushy saying something like this, Zach thought. Nervousness was not a feeling Zach was used to, but felt acutely at the moment. Daniel still didn't lift his eyes and it was driving Zach crazy, as if he would be able to read Daniel's reaction that way. "You woke up while I was prowling around, tortured by that god-awful sofa of yours. You called out and I went in to see how you were, got you settled and then I kissed you. After that, you asked me to stay, and since I couldn't face another moment on the sofa, I did."

"So that was real?" Daniel took a test sip and found the coffee just cool enough to drink so he busied his mouth with a sip and finally looked up and instantly met those clear blue eyes. Inscrutable.

"Definitely real. It was something I've wanted to do for a long time, and I'm afraid I couldn't resist any longer." Zach paused to breathe and saw Daniels cheeks deepen to an even deeper shade of red. Worried that he had already pushed too far, but unable to step away from this opportunity, Zach forged ahead. He placed a hand lightly on Daniel's forearm, keeping the young man's eyes focused on Zach. "I took advantage of the situation, but it won't happen again, I promise. I still want to help, and I can restrain myself in the future. I promise." And with those words, Zach sat up straight and pantomimed the 'cross-your-heart' oath.

Daniel took another, longer sip of his coffee and a very deep breath. But what did he want? Zach said he would act honorably, but what did Daniel want to have happen. Daniel's mind swam with possibilities, from throwing himself into this gorgeous man's arms to running as far away from potential rejection as possible. A chuckle erupted from his chest and Zach quirked a questioning brow.

"Sorry, private joke." Daniel said softly, blinking but maintaining eye contact. "If memory serves, I kissed you back."

And some kiss that had been. It had taken all of Zach shoddy self-control not to lean further into that kiss and take it to its logical conclusion. Daniel's lips had been soft, pliable, warm and receptive. "You did, but I was going to let that go if you wanted to forget the whole thing. Right now, you're pretty vulnerable," Zach said.

Daniel had the feeling that Zach wasn't talking only about his physical condition. He only nodded.

"And I don't want to take advantage of you." Zach left this hanging, wanting Daniel to say something, anything to give Zach an idea of where they stood now.

Daniel was amazed at the display of emotions he saw on Zach's face and began to realize that the man he thought of as a friend was nearly a stranger. Fear, anxiety, desire all mixed in with emotions Daniel could only guess at. In the time they had known each other, Zach had presented to Daniel and the world an exclusively cheerful, flirtatious and upbeat face. It was just possible that this had been a pretense, and now Daniel dearly needed to know more about the man sitting beside him. He raised his good hand to rest atop Zach's and then laced his fingers though Zach's.

"Why don't you let me worry about that, okay?" Daniel smiled to see the relief that spread across Zach's face and light up his eyes.

Zach breathed a huge sigh and tightened his grip on Daniel's hand. "Okay. But let's get you well first and then see what happens. I'm not exactly known for taking things slowly, but I think that maybe this time, it might be sensible."

Daniel only nodded, though in his mind he wanted nothing to do with sensible. He wanted that kiss, hot and dark and deep, and he wanted for it to never end. Positive that an admission of that intensity would scare Zach into running for the hills, Daniel kept his peace and decided that he would simply enjoy the time they had together. "Do you think we could go back to my house? I know we need to find pants to fit over this stupid cast, but right now I think I'd like to take a nap."

"Absolutely," Zach agreed readily. "We'll crutch back the two blocks and then I'll go to the store to get provisions for dinner." Zach laughed at Daniel's groan about having to get back to the house and heard Daniel mutter the word 'bitch' under his breath.

Back at the house, the message machine was blinking and when Daniel hit the button, Marion's voice bloomed from it. "Honey, it's me just checking in to make sure your okay and you haven't fallen down and can't get up. The new laptop for Zach came in today and I thought I could drop it off to you to configure. Then you can watch Zach like a hawk to make sure he doesn't vaporize this one." Daniel could hear Marion's chuckle at her own sense of humor. "Honestly, I hope you're starting to feel better and give me a call anytime. Bye."

Off to the side, stood Zach with a look of mock-affront at Marion's words. He posed with a hand on his hip and stared at Daniel. "Am I some kind of inner office joke? First the bakery ladies and now Marion?"

Daniel ducked his head apologetically and said, "Well, yeah. I mean, the life of an IT guy is pretty dull, so your antics do help keep us entertained. But what do you mean about Monica and Britt? What did they say?" In his mind, Daniel was reviewing anything he had ever said about Zach, and hoped that Monica, it could only be Monica, hadn't said anything to Zach that might reveal the conflicted feelings Daniel had experienced during the last year. The crush he had for Zach had provoked huge waves of guilt after Brady left. Daniel had felt that maybe the breakup was all his fault, that he had been unable to really commit to his ex-boyfriend because of his feelings for Zach. In his saner moments, he knew he was not wholly responsible, but twinges of guilt still remained.

"The taller one, Monica," Zach cracked up when Daniel rolled his eyes at this. "She asked if I was the luddite Physical Therapist friend. So I ask you, just what have you been saying about me, Mr. Travers?"

"Nothing too damaging, and definitely only the truth." Daniel replied with a cocked eyebrow and an indifferent shrug.

"Ouch. You go lie down and I'll run a few errands."

Daniel waved goodbye and hobbled off to his room. His level of exhaustion astounded him. How could a walk to the bakery and back have him so completely wiped out?

When Zach returned he dragged into the house bags of groceries and a bulky computer box. A loud "Fuck!" and a thud like something had been kicked across a room greeted his ears and had Zach sprinting to the rear of the house. Through the open French doors that led to the three season porch off the kitchen stood Daniel, balancing on one leg, amidst a pile of junk, sucking his thumb and looking royally pissed off.

"What? I can't leave you for ninety minutes without you injuring yourself?" Zach's ire was not completely feigned. Christ, the room looked like a thrift store had exploded.

"No, I did this just to make you angry at me." Daniel glared at Zach. If life were a cartoon, ray beams of death and destruction would be focused on Zach, frying him to a crisp on the spot. "Contrary to appearances, I don't like being helpless and incapable. So just lay off, all right."

Heart still beating like a machine gun going off, Zach stood opposite Daniel and tried to get a grip on why he wanted to the younger man. Zach could admit to himself that his nerves were frayed, but he couldn't quite comprehend the entire why of this. The shock of Daniel's injury still felt too recent to really understand his own reaction. Now he was here, sharing the man's house and his bed, too, in a way. Earlier, Zach would have said that Daniel was the vulnerable one, but he was the one who felt like a nestling barely able to care for itself. He had no idea what to do.

"I'm going to put the groceries away and then I'll start on dinner. You let me know if you need anything." In the face of his internal confusion, Zach's brain had decided on the most direct course, and pretended that nothing was wrong. He turned and walked mechanically to the front of the house to fetch and carry the bags into the kitchen. The tasks of shelving cans and shoving vegetables into the fridge helped to keep his mind empty and calm his breathing. Zach was not accustomed to feeling this stirred up and he was positive that he didn't enjoy it one bit. He was a great avoider of conflict and turmoil, at least until lately.

Daniel turned and looked for his crutches amid the detritus spread around the small cold room. Yelling at Zach hadn't helped his feelings of anger or helplessness; he'd only embarrassed himself and pushed the man away. 'Christ, what an infant I am. I go and scream at the only person who wants to be around me. If I can drive him away then I really will be alone." The truth of this caused Daniel's anger to fade while he sat on an old wicker chair and put his heads on his knees. Maybe crying would have helped some of his anger and sadness to fade, but the tears wouldn't come, so Daniel settled for listening to his own breathing and letting his muscles relax. Neither quitting nor losing came naturally to Daniel; he was tenacious and stubborn. The mess he had made wouldn't clean itself. So he stood up, grabbed his crutches and went in search of fresh garbage bags.

Zach was immensely relieved that when Daniel finally came out of the sun porch that he seemed to have let go of whatever had been bothering him. They spoke little, though easily enough with one another while Zach went about the business of dinner and Daniel finished whatever it was he had been doing in the other room. Zach could hear shoving sounds and movement, but he didn't want to intrude into what he felt was not his realm. Daniel had come out periodically, grabbing trash bags and then later a broom and dustpan. At one point he tried to carrying a stack of folded clothes, but in the end had to ask Zach for help with that.

"Hey, I know you're busy with dinner, but when you have a chance, could you give me a hand. I've done all I can by myself in here." Daniel looked straight into Zach's eyes, and tried to communicate a little contrition for his previous outburst.

"No problem. Let's take care of it after dinner, okay?" Zach looked at Daniel from across the kitchen and that the frustration and fear he felt earlier no longer showed in his eyes. "The food's almost ready, but you could help by setting the table, if you don't mind?"

"If you carry the plates, I'll take care of the rest." Daniel breathed an inner sigh of relief. Tension still hung about the room, but he could tell that it was just because the two men were being cautious, not angry with one another.

With that settled, Daniel puttered around the dining room, setting the table and wondered whether or not to set candles on the table. He hadn't gotten around to changing the light fixture in this room, and the over head light was bright and harsh. The only times he had used this room was for quiet dinners with Brady and then the candles had been perfect, but now he was hesitant to do something that might seem romantic and presumptuous. Annoyed that he was dwelling on this, Daniel flicked one the overhead light and added the task of 'dimmer switch' to his ongoing mental to-do list.

Zach walked into the room, carrying two full plates and set them on the placemats. "I thought I would serve in the kitchen, since it would save on dishes later."

"Yeah, and you get to dish up an enormous amount of food." Daniel said this as he sat down at the table, laying his crutches to the right side and eyed the piles of food on his plate. "You're crazy if you think I can eat all of this."

Zach wanted to say something about how much weight Daniel had lost since the beginning of the year, that he needed to eat to gain his strength, but Zach also knew that Daniel wouldn't appreciate being mothered right then. "I'm saving myself a trip to the kitchen for seconds. When you taste my awesome cooking, you won't be able to help yourself. You might even beg me to cook every night." Zach flashed Daniel a flippant smile.

Daniel chuckled and dug in. Zach hadn't been overestimating his skills as cook: the food was simple but delicious and Daniel nearly finished everything on his plate. Chicken breasts braised with lemon, herbs and wine with rice and asparagus disappeared from their plates. They talked little ass they ate and Daniel was surprised at how much he enjoyed his meal and the easy silence between them. How long had it been since he had been so relaxed with someone else? The only answer he came up with was 'too long'.

Daniel's reaction to his cooking satisfied Zach much more than the food. While they ate and sipped their wine, Zach noticed Daniel's shoulders slowly start to relax. A couple of times Zach looked up at saw Daniel close his eyes as he ate and savored he food. Zach's heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"I'll clear the table and you can do the dishes later, okay?" Zach rose from the table, reaching for the plate in front of Daniel.

"What? How can I do the dishes?" Daniel looked genuinely surprised.

"You expect me to do all the work? I figured since you managed all that work on the back porch, dishes should be no problem. But later. Hobble over to the couch and I'll join you in a minute." With that dismissal, Zach took the plates to the kitchen and hoped his plan would work. Daniel needed to talk, whether he liked it or not, and Zach just hoped he could listen to what Daniel had to say.

When Zach returned to the living room, Daniel was on the couch, his head back and his eyes closed with his right leg propped on the coffee table. He opened his eyes enough to see Zach come near and then reached his hand up the receive the fresh glass of wine that Zach carried. After fretting briefly about how close to sit next to Daniel, Zach settled in the middle of the couch.

Zach took a deep swallow of wine and broached the subject that hung in the air.

Daniel opened his eyes and looked into Zach's, seeing only sympathy and friendship, he began speaking. "It started because I was looking for sweatpants. It's all Brady's stuff back there, stuff he would leave here and use when he stayed. He liked to relaxed and work around the house in these ratty sweatpants. I used to make fun of him for them, telling him he looked like a slob. He used to tell me I looked like an ad for the Gap in my old khaki pants."

"Would he help you with the house a lot?" Zach wanted to know everything and at the same time it seemed that he would rather pretend that no other man had ever been in Daniel's life. But he was sure that Daniel needed to talk and exorcise some of these memories.

"Not usually. He doesn't live nearby and since he was only able to be here on business once a month or so, I tried not to have projects going on. It seemed selfish to ask him to work during the little time we had together. But sometimes he wanted to help and I would let him. It was fun having someone to share the work with." Daniel lapsed into silence and thought.

"How did you two meet?"

"Brady worked for a big contractor and his company was bidding on a project at the hospital. He needed to get an idea what the IT needs would be in the new addition and Cynthia asked if I wouldn't mind talking to him. I had worked on the estimates and plans with the architect and I was more familiar with the numbers." Daniel shrugged. "Brady took me to lunch and we talked everything over. I guess I had all the information he needed, since he thanked me for making his job so easy. I didn't think much about it, but at the end of the meeting, he asked me to dinner." Daniel blushed a little and averted his eyes from Zach's.

Zach touched his hand to Daniel's, which rested along the top edge of the couch, his arm casted and his fingers exposed. Their fingertips touched and played gently.