Honor Thy Mother & Thy Father Ch. 13

Fred, Sharon and the girls sat on the patio for a private lunch to talk about what had happened that morning. Cindy was not happy that her sisters had been punished so harshly, but she understood how her parents came up with such a drastic penalty. Her face still burned and it was still pebbly to the touch, as well as raw. Julia had been able to get her an appointment with a dermatologist at 8 o'clock the next morning, before the doctor's normal office hours.

Sharon asked Fred, "I wonder how our girl's rear ends will fare, sitting on those hard, hot chairs, Thursday afternoon, at graduation. Those welts will be in full bloom, and if we don't let them wear anything under their polyester 'Cap and Gowns,' those fiery cheeks should burn like crazy."

"What a great idea, Sharon. We could also add some of the cayenne pepper we talked about last time. It would sear this punishment into their minds for eternity."

Sandy rose and said, "Speaking for us 19 year old females and under, I can guarantee you old folks that we will never, ever forget this punishment. It is thoroughly ingrained in our buttocks, like the grain in the belt that was used on us. We humbly beg that you allow us to skip our graduation exercise, even though mom went through such great lengths to get this approved."

As Sandy sat down, Fred stood up, and looked around the table at all his gorgeous women. He picked up a napkin wiped his mouth and hands, folded it, replaced it by his dish, cleared his throat, and said, "NO!" Then he sat down.

The girls were all over him like a rash. "You went through all of that just to tell us "NO." You could have done that, while you were sitting down. You just wanted us to think you were going to give us a break. "Dad, you are getting down right mean."

Fred said, "It must be because of my near death experience. All my nice guy instincts must have left with my blood, and the 16 people who gave me blood so I could be living today are not as nice as I was before. You are going to have to learn to live with the new me."

Sharon said to the girls, "I measured the new Fred, and I like him. He is 9 inches long and nearly 7 ½ inches in circumference. What a thrill he gives me now."

Danni's mouth opened in horror. She thought she would die. She leaned across the table and said, "You had that thing up my ass, and in my throat?"

"Don't say that Danni; it never got near your throat. However, if you'd like to take your mother's advice, and practice, practice, practice, I am available."

"If you let us out of going to graduation, I will practice, once a week."

Fred smiled, "Graduation only comes once every four years; you will have to do better than that."

"Fred, you have four of us that have to practice on you. Give me a break."

Fred kissed Sharon and said, "Actually dear, Danni is right. There are four young women, who have to practice, and one dazzling young woman, who is absolutely perfect at it. Do you think you would like to charge them for giving lessons? You could walk around the house all day, with a smile on your face."

"What an awesome idea, Fred. They would learn to honor Sappho and do fellatio properly, simultaneously."

Cindy looked at her sisters and said, "Why do I get the feeling I am getting fucked?"

Danni said, "You see Cindy, you are not as smart as you think you are. The only thing you are not getting is fucked."

Fred said, "Sharon send an email to the school board advising them that we will not be coming, because I have not recovered sufficiently enough to make the trip. We would like them to make an announcement to both the class, and the news media in the area that the University of Maryland at College Park has offered Cindy and Sandy full scholarship's beginning in this falls semester."

Sandy and Cindy were speechless. Their mouths were open, but no sound was coming out.

Fred and Sharon were smiling at them, waiting for this news to sink in to their brains. The Attorney General was as good as his word. Now, Fred, and Sharon had to start house hunting between College Park and Washington, D.C.

Screams of joy finally came out of Cindy's mouth, followed closely by Sandy. They started jumping up and down, holding each other tight. The questions started coming fast and furious, but Sharon said only one thing. "When he gets home, be sure to thank your Uncle Clark. He made this possible for both of you."

Congress took their short, taxpayer funded "FIVE WEEK SUMMER VACATION." The President was in Maine. The Washington powerbrokers were anywhere but in Washington. The exception was Clark Atwater. He was still at his Virginia mansion, instead of in Connecticut, sailing on Long Island Sound. He had one more piece of business to attend to before he and Julia could leave town.

Fred and Sharon were asked to join Julia and Clark in the library on Saturday morning. They were surprised to meet two well-dressed men and three very well dressed women waiting for them also.

Fred said to Sharon, "Let's get out of here. He's up to no good."

Clark said, "Sharon, grab him by the neck and get him in here."

Fred sat down at the conference table and asked, "Okay boss, who is going to get screwed today?"

Clark looked at Fred and said, "Have you noticed the evil glint in my niece's eye lately?"

"No Sir, I just noticed that she's been particularly horny lately."

"House hunting will do that to a woman Fred, and do you know what, she found the one she wants. While you have been playing around with your therapists, Sharon, Julia, and the girls have been working hard finding you a home. They figured out that you have 30 ft.² of your own, plus one of the spaces in the garage. The remainder of the house belongs to them. These people are here today to perform the closing. You will sign where they tell you to sign, or your arm will be broken. We will put the pen in your other arm, and you will sign where you were tell to sign and if you don't, that arm will be broken. After that, we will forge your signature. Are we on the same page Fred?

"Sir is this retribution for me throwing your hat in the ring?"

"I have not begun to get even that Fred. My phone has not stopped ringing, since that little episode."

"Mister McPherson anytime you're ready."

Fred was an expert in contract law, and they could not get anything by him with the standard contracts, they threw in front of him. He took their marking pens and started crossing off paragraph after paragraph, and explaining to them why, as he went along. After 20 minutes, the bank's representative said, "We can't write up a contract like this."

"Sign this contract for me and let me keep it. So many government agencies will be breathing down your neck within 90 days, your bank will close its doors for reorganization of its loan department. That should instill consumer confidence in your bank. Who is next?"

The Attorney General sat back in his chair gloating. This was Fred at his best. His mind was as sharp as ever, only his body needed time to repair itself. He would be back at his desk by the beginning of the new year, and maybe, just maybe, and three years they would visit that White House, together again.

After three hours of bargaining, with the closing agents, and going over every detail of the survey, Fred and Sharon closed on the house. Fred asked her when he was going to be able to see it.

Sharon said, "We are all going to go out there now. We have even arranged to cancel your physical therapy for today so you can join us."

Sharon drove the Mercedes van, and the attorney general, along with his Secret Service agents came in the limousine. They drove to Potomac, Maryland, which is 15 miles from the University of Maryland.

As they entered the neighborhood Fred remarked, "These are some very exclusive homes."

Sharon replied, "Yes, I like some of these, but I find some kind of small."

Fred's head nearly snapped off when she said that. He was looking at homes that had to cost more than several million dollars, and she found them 'kind of small.'

As she turned onto Highland Farms Court, Fred saw a house that blocked out the sun. Sharon said, "Isn't that a cute house Fred?"

"There are forts in Europe that are smaller than that house Sharon."

They got out of the car and looked at the massive house made of white slate and brick.

"Fred, our vans fit in those garages, they don't fit in an ordinary garage."

Fred's brain went into high gear. "How would you know that Sharon, did you test it?"

"Of course I tested it, Fred. We couldn't buy this house if I wasn't sure our vans couldn't fit in the garage."

"Sharon, are you telling me this house cost $650,000."

Clark Atwater was leaning against the front of limousine with a big smile on his face, but not say a word.

"Fred, we are paying $650,000 for this house. You signed the paperwork; you saw all the facts and figures. You are the lawyer in the family. Don't you believe your own eyes?"

Fred turned around and looked at his boss. "What did you do?"

"I helped my niece by a house?"

"How much help did you give your niece?"

"Sir that is a family matter."

"It will be a matter of public record by the end of the month. Do you want to save yourself the embarrassment of being beaten up by a weak individual now, or do you want to take a chance that I will cover over the next 14 days, and beat the crap out of you?"

"I gave my niece $20 million and advice on how to use it wisely. The people you met today were all charlatans. They would not know closing from the opening of the ballet. Sharon owns this home and the title awaits your signature. The total cost was $7.65 million. She put a minimum down payment down on a 30 year 4.25% mortgage, with no points or closing costs. I have a few friends at the bank."

"Sir, I could argue with you until I am blue in the face, but that would not be the right thing for me to do. So I'm going to do the right thing. Thank you dad, thank you very much."

Clark Atwater enfolded his son into his arms; glad for the warmth not only of his thanks, but also of his body. By all rights, he should be cold and dead. But by some miracle; Fred Hastings had managed to escape the reaper. He would live to serve him for years to come. No man was happier at this moment in his life than the Attorney General of the United States.

Fred swore he would get even, somehow.

One month later, the most respected political operative in the United States, who normally worked for the opposition party walked into Clark Atwater's home, supposedly uninvited. Fred, Sharon and the girls were there, supposedly discussing arrangements for their wedding.

The Attorney General looked at James Green wondering what he was doing on this side of the Potomac River. He stood up, greeted his guest, and asked him how he could be of service.

Green looked him square in the eye and asked, "Do you want to be the next President of the United States, and are you willing to fight for it?"

"Jim, aren't you working on the wrong side of the bridge, I'm a Democrat."

"You are as much a Democrat as I am a Libertarian, Clark. You are a pragmatist. You realize what can be accomplished, and what cannot. If you are willing to follow my advice, you are going to make both sides angry with you, but the people will love you, because you are going to promise them what is possible, and not what they want to hear."

Without turning his head, he said, "Fred, you are a dead man. You put him up to this, didn't you?"

Julia replied, "Clark, get your head out of your ass. I called him. I have already picked out new china settings for the White House. Don't fuck this up."

"I demand an apology dad."

"You probably planted that bug in her ear, Fred."

"Guilty."

"What is it going to be Mister Attorney General; are you ready to fight, or do you want to flee from this battle, because you are going to have scars all over your body."

"How much do you think this election is going to cost us?"

"My services are free, because I am going to enjoy this fight. The election should cost about $1 billion."

Sharon took a check for $10 million out of her bag, and handed it to Jim Green. He looked at it and said, "We only need $990 million more to win it now."

Clark looked at the check and said, "Sharon, I gave that money to you. It is for you to use for the girls and your future, not to make me president."

"Uncle Clark, you are right the first time. You gave the money to me. I will use it any way I see fit. I didn't even ask Fred about it, because he would have given it all back to you."

"Thank God, one of you has brains in your head. Jim, I am in. How do you want to work it from here?"

***************************************************************

58. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

When Sergeant got home from work late one afternoon, Cassandra was sitting at the kitchen table, with a look on her face that could kill a grizzly bear. He had two choices: he could sneak back to work, or he could face her, and see what he did wrong. He decided he would have to face her sooner or later, and wanted to get this over with now. He walked over to her and when he attempted to kiss her she said, "Get away from me."

He retreated from her, walked to the other side of the table, and sat down. "What did I do to deserve this attitude? When I left home this morning everything was fine, I think."

"Did you remember that I had a doctor's appointment today?"

"Yes, you were going for your physical."

"You are such a genius, Sarge; they should put a statue of you in the center of town with a sign attached saying, "Shoot me, please!"

"Are you going to tell me what I did wrong, or should I go back to work with people that make more sense, than you are now?"

"I went for my physical today as you said, and you know what my doctor told me?"

"No Cassie, I did not speak with your doctor today, and I would never ask her about your condition, without your approval."

"Oh Sergeant, how very kind of you. You are such a wonderful person. During the course of my physical she informed me that I am at least FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT!"

Sergeant stared at her. Everything from his neck up was frozen. When his brain started to function again, he said, "You told me you could not get pregnant. What happened?"

"I asked the doctor the same thing. She told me it was 5 million to one shot, and even though I was in menopause, there were still some eggs that were viable. She has to do a sonogram and special tests next week to make sure there is only one little person in there and make sure they are fine. Menopause pregnancies sometimes result in multiple births and sometimes have the risk of birth defects. "

Sergeant's head hit the table, as he screamed, "Oh no, Susan and Alan are going to have a field day with us."

"Is that all you are worried about? You are not worried about me at all?"

"What did the Doctor say about you and the status of your health?"

Linda said, "I was healthier than any horse she had ever ridden."

"So you're telling me that the doctor said you would have no problems carrying our baby."

"How very astute of you Sarge, that is exactly what she said."

"Then why would I have to worry about you?"

"Look what happened to Susan, Sarge. It could happen to me too."

"You could get kicked in the head by a mountain goat, and probably have the same odds."

"Sarge, you are so romantic."

"Did I tell you I put in my retirement papers?"

"Finally, you were supposed to do it two years ago. When did you hand them in?"

"I am turning them in tomorrow morning, as soon as I get into work. I have to take care of my newly pregnant wife, to keep her as healthy as she is today."

"Sergeant, now you are getting romantic. Give me the phone, and I will tell Susan the good news."

Sergeant asked, "Which good news; that I am retiring, or you are pregnant?"

Cassandra said, "The important one, of course."

Alan was mucking the stalls, when he heard a terrifying scream come from the house. He dropped the shovel and ran as fast as his feet would take him to see what had happened to Susan. He ran into the house with horseshit all over his boots and found her talking on the telephone.

Susan looked at him and said, "You idiot, look what you're doing to my floors."

In his own defense, he said, "I heard you scream, and I thought you had hurt yourself."

"Take those boots off, clean the floor, and I will give you the best news you have heard, since the day your son was born."

"As I recall, Susan, the day my son was born was not exactly a good day for me."

"Just do as I ask, you are going to love this."

Alan did has Susan requested and returned to find out what this great news was. He sat down next to her and said, "Okay, what caused you to scream like you had seen a ghost?"

"Cassandra went to the doctor today to have her yearly physical."

"Is she alright? The way you screamed something must be terribly wrong."

"For Sergeant, it is the worst news he could ever have heard."

"Cancer, how long the she have?"

"No Alan, this is worse than cancer for Sergeant. Cassandra is four months pregnant."

Alan screamed at the top of his lungs, "REALLY! She is absolutely positive she is pregnant?"

"The doctor is sure. The test strip is sure. However, there is something else Cassandra told me that may make your day even better."

"Honey, I am already flying in the clouds. If you make this news any better, I am going to need a spacesuit."

"Well you better put it on Alan. The Doctor told her not to be surprised if there are two or more in there. She said Menopause pregnancies often result in multiple births. Cassie will be getting a sonogram next week to be sure."

Alan got up from his chair and started singing and dancing around the kitchen. "I got him, I finally got him. He is going to regret every toy he bought our son."

When he calmed down, he said, "Susan, their house is too small for a baby. It's only 1400 square feet, and there is no real backyard for the baby to play in. I don't like spending your money, but we have so many acres out here with nothing on it. Could we build them a house?"

"I thought you wanted to get even with him Alan? If we build him a house, I think he will be ahead of you."

"I am not thinking about him, I am thinking about the baby or possibly babies."

"Alan you never cease to amaze me. Sometimes you are as cold as stone, and other times you are a soft as a flower. Let's wait until next week, and see what happens with Cassandra's sonogram. If all is well, we will get an architect out here immediately and start the process of getting a house built for them. We will put it just far enough away that we will not step on each other's toes, but just close enough to be good neighbors."

"I hope he has all-girls."

"Why would you say that?"

"He will see what he missed as they grow up and start dating boys. He will see what he missed if he had the courage to ask Cassandra out to a movie or a dance."

"Now that is the Alan I know and love, vindictive to the core. However, what would happen if Callum were to ask one of his daughters out?"

"With what Sarge knows about Callum's genitals, he would have a heart attack if he went near them. Let's go into town, pick up a cake, and go over to their house. I want to congratulate the new parents."

"Take a shower first, you smell like horseshit."

Susan knocked on the door, and when Sergeant opened it, he said, "I knew you couldn't stay away for a long."

"Get out of my way cousin; I have come to congratulate my friend."

"Why is he here?"

"I was holding the cake. He had to drive me."

"I can tell this is going to be a fun evening."

As Alan walked through the front door he put his hand out in a gesture of goodwill and said, "Congratulations Sergeant, a 5 million to one shot, and you beat the odds. The Marine Corps made you into quite a man."