Hornet's Nest Ch. 01

There was just work, work, work, and exams around that time. And preparing applications to universities. Monotonous things broken up by Wesley coming into my room and telling me we were going out. Sometimes getting lifts from Tyler. Wes was always convincing him to drive us around, and I know he just loved turning up places in front of our friends in an expensive sports car. Uncle Tyler was cool, man.

Wesley went through about three girlfriends during secondary school. Then a boyfriend. It mildly surprised everyone, but not me. I had seen it coming. I knew why he kept going to Tyler for advice. The openly gay kid at school had been flirting with him for a while, and he'd never exactly turned him down.

Wes wasn't gay. He wasn't even sure if he was bi, he was just curious. But apparently he could pull both genders, while I hadn't had the tiniest bit of success with girls yet.

I don't know why I was so hopeless. Nobody seemed to be interested in me. A girl did ask me out at one point, but I rejected her. I was an awkward idiot. I mean, she was nice, but I didn't know anything about her other than thinking she had a pretty face. I regretted it a couple days later, but didn't have the guts to go back on it.

I guess that was my problem. Not knowing how to make the first move. Not really knowing what I wanted.

I had my parents as an example. They just seemed so ridiculously perfect, so in love, for as long as I could remember. Hell, even Darren and Tyler were perfect in their own way. I wanted that. I wanted my soulmate.

I wanted my perfect woman, but I didn't know what my perfect woman was.

Did I have really high standards, or something? Was I really bad at talking to girls? Was I doing it wrong? Was I offending them, driving them away? What was my problem?

It became the next thing Tyler thought was funny. I wasn't taking it. I got touchy about it extremely fast.

"Tyler, shut the fuck up."

He chuckled, started to say something else, but I got in there first.

"I'm sorry I'm not a fucking slut like you were, all right?"

I achieved two whole seconds of silence, filled by Dad bursting into laughter. Tyler's shock turned into a grin.

"Hey, kid-"

"Fuck off."

Dad knocked on my door later that evening, though. He came in with that look on his face that made me uncomfortable. Like he had been thinking about something, and was still thinking about it, so he was almost looking 'through' me and not all 'there'.

"David," he started. "Are you gay?"

There was a pause, my eyes widening.

"Holy shit!" I erupted.

He bristled, but backed off. I also made sure to back down. We were beyond this. We didn't do this, flare up at each other anymore.

"No."

"I was gonna be fucking surprised if you said yes," he retorted.

"For fuck sake-"

"I thought you of all people wouldn't have issues coming out, if you were."

"Exactly? Fuck sake, Dad. Can everybody just leave me alone about this? Why is it a big deal? Weren't you a virgin 'til you were twenty-something anyways? God."

He chuckled and shrugged. "You're right. Take your time. You don't want to be like Tyler."

My voice quietened. "I just... want to find someone right, like you did with Mum."

His arms crossed, and I could swear he looked genuinely proud of me. "Keep your eyes open, then, or you'll miss her. And be brave."

Yeah, be brave. Guys always have to make the first move. Fuck sake.

The days were counting down until Wesley and I were leaving for university. We'd managed to get into the same one, but we were taking different subjects. We were going to be flatmates, though, and I was appointed head tenant of the housing. We'd spoken to the others we'd be sharing with online, but yet to meet them. Agency had set us up.

Please, no difficult roommates. Please God.

"I don't know what to do when you're both gone," Hanna said, trailing me around the kitchen as I laid the table for the last family dinner. "I'm gonna be so bored."

"It'll be peaceful?" I offered.

She giggled. "I'm gonna miss you, though."

"We'll be home for holidays and weekends and things."

"David," Mum said. "Can you make the gravy? Where's Wes?" She disappeared to poke her head into the hallway and yell up the stairs.

It was supposed to be a slightly more special, goodbye sort of night, but it was as normal as normal gets. Dad and Tyler were swapping yet more of their own university stories, and he was actually managing to embarrass Tyler for once. He buried his face into his hands and muffled his laughter.

"Stop, Zack. Stop."

"Well it wasn't exactly fair of me, was it? I'm-"

"Jesus Christ!" He knocked Dad's drink into his lap to shut him up. Mum squawked at them. Darren's hand went to his brow.

Yep. Normal.

We were supposed to play some board game afterwards, but it didn't happen. Everybody was too distracted. Maybe because we also knew there was no point in playing, as Darren always won.

Settlers of Catan, he somehow kept track of everything everyone had in their hands. He always convinced us to trade him the things he needed, while giving us the things we thought we needed. We all knew he'd win if we traded with him, yet we still did it. This time, this one time, would be where we outsmarted him.

Nope. He'd sit there towards the end with a giant hand, the winning combo coming up, while everyone desperately tried to roll a 7 to screw him over.

Monopoly, he was just too smart and always had a strategy. And always lucky. He and Mum could get so fiercely competitive - he always picked on her, building where she wanted to go in Catan, buying the properties she wanted in Monopoly. She'd glare at him across the board with her lips pursed, and he'd just look back with a smile.

"Problem, Lia?"

It cracked me up every time. It was a rare celebration if someone other than Darren ever won a damn game. When I was a child, I thought everyone let him win on purpose. Then I got older and discovered his lethal combination of smart and lucky for myself.

No wonder he was good in business.

The lounge was getting incredibly loud that night. It always got loud when Wesley, Dad, and Tyler got together, but it was like they were overdoing it, making up for the next few months while we'd be gone. Hanna retreated from their boisterous behaviour, shuffling up on the sofa beside Darren, curiously peering over his shoulder. He was scowling at whatever was on his phone's screen, his typical grumpy face.

Mum chuckled as she handed him a glass of wine. "Good God. You're getting just like Vince."

His face fell more neutral and he raised his brows at her, then shook his head. She just nodded back with a cheeky smile. He obviously wasn't happy about that comparison.

Amongst the antics, Tyler managed to knock over the second drink of the night, a fizz of Coke all across the carpet. Mum rolled her eyes and Dad cuffed him over the head. Darren disappeared outside for some quiet, holding his phone to his ear and talking in his business voice.

In a strange way, I was going to miss this. I mean, I couldn't wait to be out in the world on my own, but all the things I hated about my family were also the things I loved. I'd never be completely alone, at least. Wesley was always going to be there.

Ten minutes later, Darren hadn't come back in. I wasn't surprised if he was taking a break from the noise. Sure enough, I found him sitting on the bench in the garden, phonecall finished, enjoying his glass of wine in peace.

"Hi," I said, sitting beside him. His chest bounced with a chuckle.

"Headache?"

"Getting out before I get one," I replied. "I don't know how you live with Tyler."

"Would you believe me if I said he's not always like this?"

"Yeah, I believe you."

"You kids bring out his inner child." He took a sip of his wine. "I can't believe you're going to university."

"Yeah."

"Where have these years gone?"

I grinned and shrugged.

"I can't tell you and your father apart anymore, when you're talking in the other room. It just sounds like some bloke talking to himself."

I chuckled, and as if on cue, Dad's guffaw rang out from inside. "I don't sound quite like that, do I?"

"Not quite. But close."

There were clinking sounds from the kitchen, and more laughter. Tyler's head poked out the back door, flashed a grin at seeing us, but went back in without saying anything.

"He's hoping you get a girlfriend at uni," Darren said.

I sighed. "Yeah." I sat forward, elbow on my knee and forehead buried into the palm. "Darren. Why am I so bad at talking to girls?"

"I might be, quite possibly, the worst person to ask about girl troubles."

"Or the only unbiased one."

He smiled. "I'd suggest talking to them like people, not like 'girls', David."

So I was doing something wrong? What did he mean?

"You're not bad looking in the slightest," Darren continued. "You don't have to worry about that."

"Just worry about what's on the inside, huh?"

"No, you're not a bad person. You think with this." His knuckles tapped my chest, over my heart.

"Yeah?"

"Just like your mother." He drained his glass and got to his feet, to be social for the rest of the night. I followed him inside.

"Hey, kid," Tyler said, gripping my shoulder before they left out the front door. "Guess what. You got through school without being drafted." He hugged me, and I squeezed him back until he wheezed. "Take care of yourself. And have fun."

The door shut and Wesley stood there, grinning at me, so excited.

"Early night?" Mum asked. "Train's pretty early tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah," Wesley said, and we both thundered upstairs. We sat in his room for a bit, chatting while he checked online to see if there were any new messages from the flatmates we'd be meeting the coming week.

Going into my own room, I sat on my bed in silence, pulling my socks off. Most of my things were already packed, suitcase and laptop tucked against the wall by the door. More things would be taken later, when someone could do the drive. For now, it was just getting in with the basics.

I laid awake beneath the duvet for a while. I was never good at sleeping when I knew there was something specific happening the next day, but it wasn't just that. What Darren had said, and the way he said it, was bothering me.

Maybe he was right. 'Girls'. I just didn't know. I felt like I hadn't known enough females, like my upbringing was spent surrounded by males, with two of them being basically gay, which didn't help. Tyler was always unhelpful with relationship advice. Sex? Sure. Actual relationships? No. He basically had none to give. Said he'd never had any healthy relationships with women. No healthy relationships with men either, before Darren.

Sure, there was my mum, but with the dynamics between my parents, she was conventionally feminine, and my dad was conventionally masculine. All I had learnt from her was that if I was big and manly, with a beard and hairy chest, everything was fine. Oh, and buy roses sometimes.

Then there was Hanna, who always had to be treated like a delicate and fragile thing with her bone disease. God.

Yes. Maybe he was right.

Maybe it was why I had no idea what to do when I met Violet.

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